Lost Libido? Bored or something else? - Question for the ladies

Hi Ladies,
My wife and I have been enjoying this lifestyle for about 5 or so years. We have had a great time with it. We've met some great guys, some very hot guys actually ... six pack abs, tall, handsome, etc. And some other great guys who weren't so lucky but still great guys with great chemistry. Over the past five years she has had a few hot passionate relationships that unfortunately ended for one reamister or another ... and she's also had a number of fun nights that weren't repeated or maybe repeated once or twice more. All in all ... there have been over twenty guys in the past five years who've been lucky enough to enjoy my wifes very sexy body. (and great company)

The last hot passionate relationship lasted the longest, for almost a year, and at the height of it, they were seeing each other two or three times per week, and even went away together a couple times. They were incredibly hot for each other and fell head over heals for each other (and were even completely exclusive with each other). The sex was incredible (from what I could see) as well as the chemistry between them. We quite often went out together in public and her and him looked like a newly wed couple that you'd say "get a room" to. And when in bed, the sex was so hot and passionate you could fry an egg on it! Occasionally while watching I would record with a cell phone (they didn't mind, they didn't pay attention to me anyway) ... when watching the recording later the video was OK, but the sound track was incredible. Quite often my wife threw out the "L" word in her passion and I can tell she truly meant it.

Unfortunately, his wife came down with some medical problems and he really had to pay attention to her and this caused things to slow to a crawl and eventually stop. We would see him occasionally, but no sex, or maybe a few times but nothing steady anymore, until eventually the sex stopped completely. I think it really hurt her, though she totally understood he had to take care of his wife in her situation. (she was also totally on board with their situation and loved the two of them being so into each other). We are now all still good friends, but she says she no longer wants to be with him sexually, just be friends.

Since then (little more than a year ago when it all stopped) she's played with a couple guys, but only a few times and nothing lasted. One guy was a complete surprise, she just met him that night, we partied and wound up on a yacht together, I saw them kissing, then disappeard, when I went in the bathroom (to go) they were in there f'n away. (she was pretty buzzed but was loving it and not too takes to not know what she was doing).

But that was last summer ... and since then ... nothing. Not only with other guys, but with me as well ...
She says she's lost her libido ... which I believe ... but not sure if it's mental or physical. I'm wondering if someone can get bored with the lifestyle? She says she wants to get back into it, would love to have another hot passionate affair ... we've even met some guys, but nobody did anything for her. I wonder if she is trying just to make me happy or if she really does want another hot affair. (I think she's on the fence)

So, I'm wondering if maybe the whole getting in so deep and then losing the relationship had a major effect ... (he still wants her and is free again, but she doesn't want him) ... or if maybe her hormones have changed (though she is on full hormone therapy as she has been for years and her levels are always the same). Or maybe she's bored with it.

Has anyone out there gotten bored with it? I certainly am not and cant imagine ever wanting to stop (though we are now just hitting 50) ...

It's frustrating .. but as the saying goes, better to have loved and lost than never at all ...

(and for the guys - one of these days I'll write down some of our experiences - which have been pretty incredible) - I think we've pretty much done it all over the past 5 years ... boy I'd hate to not have that again!)

NH

I read your history with much interest. First thing first: you are very lucky to have such an open caring feeling wife. They are rare - treasure her. The thing that pops out to me is that your wife probably grew up (emotionally) when she had the whole "falling in love, being held apart, falling out of love" cycle. I don't think she is hurt - she just learned what its like, and what's in it for her. And, being rational, she makes her choices of what she's going to do.
In my own case, from when I become sexually active (a late age of 25) until fairly recently, I was always obsessed with "not getting enough". Not enough girls when dating, not enough quantity while married. It puts a strain on everything you do, you know? But, like 6 months ago, I had a sit-down with my wife, and I laid myself bare. It was the most terrifying thing I ever did. Luckily, it took us to a new level, and now I know for a fact that she loves me. And, like magic, that always present feeling of not getting enough has gone. I am content with what I have.
I suggest you try some different kinks, or just plain vanilla for a change. Involving a 3rd permister is probably the one thing that she is leery of. So, give that aspect a rest.
Good luck!

Good advice ... and it has gone through my mind ... taking a break from it all ... I guess I have talked with her about it, but she seems excited at times to be back there as well .. maybe we should revisit the subject ..
I guess I'm not so much unclear about how to move foreward, there's never any pressure on her it's always about what she wants ... but more so trying to figure out what really could be some of the thoughts and feelings of people who have had the same situation .... and maybe what other women have felt if they went through the same situation.

And of course is it a passing thing ...

NH

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only! just thought I would post the link and though it is generalised gives an idea why women may not really be satisfied by lovers...... such is the way our complicated brain works!!!

That article pretty much explains the whys, hows, when and where a woman slips out of love with her husband. What she does with her life after divorcing hubby generally seems more enjoyable for her, post hubby, at least for a while anyway.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!