Possible to enter a relationship with a cuckoldress or must it develop

Long time lurker, first time poster here. I've read enough to know that I want to be in a cuck/share relationship but want other's opinions. Is it possible to get involved in a relationship/marriage with a woman where you both expect a cuck situation from the onset or is it something that must develop after love and marriage develops between the two? It seems like it develops later in the marriage in most cases I read about. I was dvorced a couple years ago and want a woman interested in this lifestyle but don't want to have to take a chance that it will develop later. I want to know going in that a potential mate is interested but not so much so that it is the main focus and prevents her from becoming intimate mentally and physically with me. Is that asking too much? I have no trouble getting women, it's finding ones that I find interesting that's the challenge and if this lifestyle is not going to be part of our lives, then I've learned that I'm not going to be interested for long. Are there places you can meet such like minded women on the net?

It's possible if there are other things that you enjoy, especially if you become each others best friend,,,but ideally it developes later on down the road. Problem is, there's no guarantee, in most cases the woman actually leaves once she's decided to take a lover, and at best she's a cheater who's lost interest in shareing her emotions. Most good cuck relationships start after an affair, the woman is truely sorry but couldn't help herself and the couple gets through it. Then when some time has passed, and the intimate moments shared by the woman and her lover has become masterbatory fodder for the husband, and the woman has still been getting urges but has kept them in check because her relationship is real and she doesn't want to risk it,,,that's when the stage is set for a lifelong cuck relationship. I've been with my hub since `84, I got takes and cheated on New Years, begged forgiveness, got married 4 months later, was in a full fledged cuck lifstyle in 2 months, that was 22 years ago,,,and most people on the net that are interested in this lifestyle will testify I am the epitome of a cuckoldrix.

Thank you Mary, you confirmed what I was thinking. I wanted a woman's perspective and you made perfect sense. It seems like if you enter into the relationship in a cuck situation from the start, it doesn't really give love and trust a chance to blossom IMO. That's more important for a long marriage than the cuck activity. The cuck stuff just enhances the intimacy that's already been built. If someone wants to get married, I guess you just have to take a chance with someone you're deeply attracted to. I'm not imtimidated by someone else fucking my wife or g/f because every woman I've been with has enjoyed my dick size, shape and performance in bed. Most tell me I'm good looking and sweet and like being with me. But there would be something so hott about seeing your sweet little wife or g/f enjoy something that you didn;t know she was interested in. I'm sure all of you know this. I wsh there was some way to predict a woman's likelihood of becoming interested in such behavior.

Would like to hear more and from other women too

Gotta disagree with Mary on this one.

I permisterally would not trust a cheater and have a very low opinion of them. I don't think that the best cuck relationships occur after the woman is caught cheating. I think the best cuck relationships occur when both partners are honest with each other from the beginning.

Mary, why didn't you just tell your soon to be husband that you like sex and like to swing while you were dating and before you made a commitment to him? That's what my wife did. And then I confessed to her that I like to watch and we transitioned perfectly into a cuckold relationship.

If I caught her cheating, I would have dumped her, no questions asked.

While I agree that you do have a good cuckold relationship going and I by no means want to take that away from you, it obviously worked for you. But for you to say that it's the BEST way to go about it is wrong.

We could probably write volumes on this, and that's one of the reamisters you disagree with me (because I didn't cover it all), but what you described (and you actually used the words), is a "swinging relationship",,,and my husband had told me he preferred that type of lifestyle, we just weren't toghther long enough to initiate it yet. Secondly,,,although technically I cheated, it's not as simple as that, I was takes and taken advantage of, I had a problem when I was young with getting blasted in order to feel at ease socially. After this episode I quit takeing completely because my relationship was more important than getting wasted and partying. Thirdly,,,another one of my reamisters for saying what I said, is because unlike swinging, cuckolding involves emotional pain,,,that's why I keep telling people "I can't cuck you",,,there has to be some form of emotional tie in order for it to "hurt so good"! Just like an open blister, nobody likes the pain they feel from the now exposed nerve endings, but without those nerve endings you wouldn't feel anything. If there hasn't been an emotional scar, or it doesn't pang you to see your wife being taken or giving herself, than you're just watching your wife have sex with someone else,,,that's voyeurism,,,not cucking. So although I agree with you that "cheating" is wrong, just like the nerve endings, you need it to actually be having a cuck relationship. Swinging is a decision, voyeurism is too, but a REAL cuck relationship has to develope, there has to be scars that have healed and made you stronger,,,there's no short cuts if you want the real thing. Cuck relationships develope out of a need to deal with a situation, those that embrace it arrive there through sacrifice, toleration, and a meeting of the minds,,,you don't get a muscular body by reading about it in forums, you have to tear the muscles.

Mary,

I sent your postings to my gf. Our story is just like yours. When I think about the feelings of being a cuck, the best sense I have is that it is an adrenalin rush. A little jealousy, fear.

I have experienced many types of relationships. 2 cucky ones. Some submissive with some pain. I think its like this;

You can take any emotion on its own and its one thing. But then if you connect the emotion to sex, sexual situations, mating behavior, whatever. If you connect the emotion to sex, it becomes stronger. Its like fear becomes a sexual feeling. Pain becomes a sexual feeling.

The only time my lady spent time with me was when she was leaving for the evening. She would dress up, look good, smell good. Give me a little kiss and she was gone.

So I love the smell of nail polish. I love watching a woman put on her makeup. It turns me on when she gives me a little kiss on the cheek and wallks out the door, it turns me on.

Further, I was a nerd in high school. I am accustomed to being rejected and humiliated. So I get crazy when my gf gets dressed up, rejects me, walks out the door.

Anyway, I don't know if this makes sense to you. But that's my perspective.
I will make you crazy.

It seems so easy to judge others. Every permister and every relationship is unique. It seems likely, to me, Mary, that your husband wanted this lifestyle from the start.

As soon as you make a general statement, you increase the chances that your conclusion is going to be wrong in a lot of particulars. For example, the idea that any spouse who cheats is automatically a lowlife and without value as a human being. The truth is, lots of people cheat. Both genders.

As to finding a woman who can both love and trust you and with whom you can trust your heart, who will also be a cuckoldress, well that will take some thinking and planning and getting to know someone. If you ask her up front if she wants that, her instincts will almost certainly require her to say "No way!" However, if you find a woman who has a permisterality you like, and who has been intimate with more than say five or ten partners, then you have a good chance of her wanting other men after you have been married for a time. Realistically many women who have enjoyed a variety of partners will eventually come to miss the variety and long for the touch of a new man. I say this without judgement. It is simple reality. Find a woman you enjoy, who is sexy and vivacious and a little promiscuous, and you are very likely to be cuckolded.
BadGirls are more fun

I agree with James on this one.

My experience has been that once a cheater-always a cheater.

Some things are unforgivable and there are no excuses for and cheating is one of them.

To tell you the truth, my husband got married when he was 19, cheated on his wife for a couple of reamisters,,,with several woman, then when he got the clap and his girlfriends didn't, he realized his wife was cheating on him, so he got a divorce and married his girlfriend. While living out of town on a construction job during the week, he had a girlfriend, only to find his wife had a boyfriend,,,his friend. So after the divorce he played around for 2 years, then got married again, his wife took extra joy in flirting so he was aware of it, if it was a friend or an enemy, didn't matter, whatever drove him crazier at the time. After 7 years that one was over, and he married his fourth after another 2 years of being single. However his 3rd was still calling him for sex, and while she was, the 4th was screwing around, so that ended after two years, a year later he met me, and we know what I did. So it's not that he was looking for that kind of relationship, it's more like he came to the conclusion that it was enevitable, everybody cheats, if not in deed, in their minds, whether it's because they're heartless bastards, or just can't resist the need to relive a newness, or romance, or those feelings that come at the moment of consumation, be it the sense of conquest for a man, or seduction for a woman (generally speaking). I was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak, and it was better to have a best friend that he could trust (since the possiblity of that newness was made available, the need to cheat, and therefore betray was removed from the equation), than to have someone he couldn't turn his back on. We actually started out swinging, he had his share of women, but gradually they became less important to him, and just seeing me be open and let myself go in front of him made him feel that I wasn't holding anything back, and on those grounds he was finally able to trust me implicitly. And I've maintained that trust by never doing anything without him being 3 feet away, and that has lasted 22 years.

Okay,,,no offense, and I don't want to start an argument here, but with a name like "lacuck", being on a cuck forum, and the definition of a cuck being "a man who's wife has been unfaithful",,,doesn't that make you're statement a contradiction? Again, if you know your wife is screwing around and you watch, that's "voyeurism", if she's cheated and you've accepted it, that's cuckoldry,,,and if you allow it to continue, then you've accepted a cuckold lifestyle.

mary, et. al.

On the topic. I had a professional psychologist suggest to me that our partners, when they cheat, are just giving us what we want. Not always, but it is a possibility. While I would be inclined to accept responsibility for my own behavior, I cannot blame my wife or anyone else for their behavior.

Human behavior is so complex. If they are married, shouldn't a husband accept SOME responsibility for the direction their relationship takes? Maybe a cheating and soon to be cuckolding wife was just sensing what her husband wants and giving it to him. I don't mean always, but sometimes?

If there is dissatisfaction, or conflict in a partnership, shouldn't both partners accept at least some of the responsibility?

If a man has been with four women, and they all cheated; do you think he might take some of the blame? Do Ya Think!

I dunno......
I will make you crazy.

Sure,,,he was just as bad, in his defense however, his first wife was a beautiful redhead that was a cross between Elizabeth Montgomery and Lee Remick, she was 5' 9" and weighed a 130lbs with a perfect figure, she went to 210lbs, besides, he knew her two weeks before they got married, he was a kid at 19. After that he used cheating to supplement his relationships with whatever was missing from them. But I agree, as the twig is bent, so grows the tree. I knew a guy who's Aunt raised him, everytime she spanked him she'd pull his pants down and put him across her knee. Her perfume, his exposure, and being in her lap excited him,,,when he grew up he found that when he was spanked it aroused him, now he's full on into S&M, regular sex is like takeing a glass of water, it does nothing for him.

Mary,

I remember our nurse (governess) when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I had a 3 yr old sister and a 10 month old. The governess (Mary) would pamper my two younger sisters and always criticise and humiliate me. Here was her drill.

After serving us dinner, she would go to her bedroom to change her clothes, leaving the door open ostensibly so that she could keep an eye on the girls. She ordered me not to look, though I was facing directly at her. She would walk around, back and forth in front of the door naked. Eventually I couldn't stand it and sneak a peek. She was waiting and always caught me.

She would become angry and snatch me from my chair, saying she was going to put me to bed early. She rushed me to the bathroom where she turned on the bath water and ordered me to strip and wait for her. She left the room and I stood there naked while the tub filled. She always made it a little too hot. She would make me sit down in the water, just hot enough to make my parts sting a little. Then she would begin to wash me with a soapy washcloth. After she did me to the waist, she would make me stand up and soap up my penis and butt. As she soaped my penis she would probe my butt with her finger and I would have an orgasm. She would call me something like a little pig, and leave me standing there, ordering me to put on my pajamas and go to bed.

You can call it use, but it was enchanting to me at the time. You can imagine what kind of fetishes I have today. At present, my girlfriend and I are cultivating a cuckold relationship.

I no longer have any guilt or bad feelings, I just try to enjoy who I am and find an outlet for it that my girlfriend can enjoy

Mary, I enjoy your posts. Thanks

Christopher.

P. S. In all of this, I try not to think that anyone is bad or wrong. Even cheaters. I don't mean that it is right. I mean that, if I knew everything, I might understand why people do the things they do.

An old friend often reminds me "If you knew everything, you would forgive everything".
I will make you crazy.

james, I have to agree with you. The kind of wife that lies and deceives, or leads a double life does not bode well with me.

I would much prefer a relationship where the wife is upfront, working with her husband, establishes and maintains ground rules before entering this lifestyle.
She left me for another man and
divorced me. Haven't heard from
her since. Would love to know the fun she's having and what she's telling him about me.

I can only tell all of you how my lifestyle evolved as a cuckolding Mistress.

I met my husband to be in Dallas while dancing at gentleman's club. We hit it off and began attending BDSM play parties and going to swinger's clubs. In the beginning we were having sex with other singles and couples. I loved watching him and he loved watching me. Over a short period of time I noticed that he enjoyed watching me more than doing women.

So we started doing threesomes and more somes with me as the only female. Then it evolved to only having bi-sexual males for our sex parties or the so call str8 guys that wanted to suck dick and be sucked.

We married and narrowed our focus. A 24/7 BDSM lifestyle with a a threesome now and then. I turned professional for a while....dominatrix having my own dungeon. That was when I met my second slave that introduced us to cuckolding.

How wonderful I thought. Two virle men with nice cocks willing to let me cuckold each of them with each other and find lovers for me.

We have been together for over six years now and it's keeps getting better and better. I have two men that love me without question. I never have to cheat on them because they are always trying to set me up with other men. But I am choosy.....I don't chose a lover by the size and color of his cock although black lovers please me better than most. I chose a lover on how he accepts my poly lifestyle. I am my boys and my boys are mine and I do no allow any interference in our chosen liftstyle.

All I can say is that cuckolding evolved for me from swinging and BDSM. I believe that if I had cheated and lied I would not be where I am today. Our lifestyle demands honesty. Without it we have nothing. When I feed my boys each others cum or the cum from my lovers it is out of love and cum fed to them in such a fashion is the most humiliating thing they can endure because they know I love them.

Mistress C.

how can someone find a cuckolding from the start. Anybody?