A question for (especially) the women here:

(I'm fairly new to this site, and placed what is below somewhere else on the forum. Apologies for posting it again ... but this seems the place to do it. Perhaps someone can tell me how to delete the other message which was placed elsewhere to avoid duplication?)

On reading my previous post (pasted below) again, I come to the conclusion that I wasn't actually very clear at all. And I didn't really ask what I wanted to know ...

So, let me try again.

What I want to know is how your husband 'opening' up to you affected you. What were your thoughts and feelings when he said he wanted you to be with another man? Further, what were your thoughts and feelings when he wanted to have sex (oral and normal) with you after another man had come inside you? What made you go along with his fantasy? Or not. And, finally, do you recognise my wife's reaction of seeing this as a 'joke' or of being reluctant and telling me that she doesn't need more? How did you get over these feelings? (If you had them.)

With many thanks for any answers.

My previous post:

Hi -

New to this forum. I have been married for 10 yrs now --- my wife and I (both in our mid 30s) have a great relationship. Only sex could be better, I feel. She says she's "content." If size matters ... am a little under average. And, due to religious but stingy grandparents, not as sensitive or pretty to look at as I would have been had I been left alone as a baby. My wife says I make her happy enough, that I'm beautiful, and that she doesn't NEED "more" or "better." (The first parts of which statement I simply don't believe ... but talking about such a topic is a bit difficult.) Have had a fantasy for what seems like ever. (And it is good to see that I'm not completely weird having it ... thank you for this forum!) I'd love her to have sex with someone who is a 'real man' or, to put it differently, one with a real, beautiful, and perhaps bigger penis. I liked to think that this was mainly so that she could experience better sex. But, I've come to realize that it's more selfish than that as the fantasy (which is more of a very strong urge to make this happen) goes further. I'd love to have sex / oral sex with her after someone else (who fits the criteria) has come inside her. (And made her happy.)

As said, my wife isn't too keen on all this. She did agree, 8 years ago, to give it a try for my sake. But, we didn't go through with it as I felt I was pressuring her into something she didn't want. Since then, this fantasy has becoming a running joke : "I know what you'd like." But, it's no longer a topic of serious conversation.

Unfortunately, it has become increasingly hard for me to live with it and accept it as only just a joke.

What would the women in this forum recommend. Our sex life isn't all that great. (Which, I think, is largely due to me. I'm sure she could get better in that department.) Should I pursue this? And, if so, how? How to make it from a joke into a reality? How to awaken her interest ... make her interested in great experiences instead of just "being content." (Her words.) And, if not, why not. Please explain. It's becoming a bit much for me ... don't really know what to do or how to do it. And, this situation is doing me no good ... HELP!

And, of course, men are welcome to reply too.

Thanks!