My wife wants to introduce her boyfriend to our family and friends....

Any advice? Similar experiences? Thanks.
Erock

Well, in a Cuckold relationship, as in any relationship, it depends on what you BOTH want when it comes to how things affect your permisteral normal life. There is much to consider here, and not knowing any more details it is hard to say.

How is she wanting to introduce him? Will it be as the guy she's also seeing? A family friend? Uncle Eddie? How comfortable are you with each of these thoughts?

I stand firm that even as a submissive cuckold husband, boundaries should be clearly negotiated and never infringed upon. If that is something you don't want, you should communicate that fact and stand your ground on it. You don't want your permisteral life to become a daily hardship because of cross contamination with your cuckold life.

It could also be a hot topic to flirt with too -- I could see that if there was only a casual vanilla introduction, but your senses would be heightened while nobody else suspects a thing. I wouldn't want that in my own life, but it could be hot if done right I suppose.

Mainly, I would advise against that, but obviously it's your call.
[email protected] ~ Check out our podcast at http://cuckcast.com

I have had similar experiences, though not exactly the same. Many of my friends and some of my family have met some of my wife's beaus through the years, but it was generally after we "came out" about things more broadly to them. (Though often not long after.)

What is your situation? Do these friends and family know that the two of you cuckold, or at least know that you are not exclusive? If not, is the intention to introduce the other man as "a friend," implying it is platonic and keeping the intimate relationships confidential? I'm not sure anyone on this board (and a lot of us have experience with this topic) can give very pertinent advice without knowing that.

Second order questions would be things like, if she intends to be open about it, how do you think people will react and are you both ready for the fallout? If she intends that the intimate relationship remain quiet, how firm is that? (There is a world of difference between not volunteering on the one hand, and going out of your way to make sure nothing is suspected on the other. Do they intend to keep distance when folks are about and avoid the kind of familiar touching that coupes are apt to do unthinkingly and that others are apt to notice and wonder about.) Is the idea not to tell, but to leave folks wondering? Or to keep it totally secret? Etc. etc.

Please do share a bit more and I'm sure many of us (myself for sure) will be happy to provide you with the benefit of our experience and observations.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Does she want to introduce him as a friend or is she intending on introducing him as her boyfriend?

What is your situation? Do these friends and family know that the two of you cuckold, or at least know that you are not exclusive?

Yes. Some of her girl friends (3) now about the hole thing, not the chastity though, but they now I am a cuckold and that she fucks whoever she feels like. BUT they do not know she has a boyfriend. Her sisters (2) and her lady also know my situation.

If not, is the intention to introduce the other man as "a friend," implying it is platonic and keeping the intimate relationships confidential?

That is the idea. She intends to introduce him as a friend of ours, but I do not know if they will be able to avoid making out in front of them, or get caught kissing in the kitchen while everyone else is in the living room.

Second order questions would be things like, if she intends to be open about it, how do you think people will react and are you both ready for the fallout?

I am willing to lose some friends, yes. But I guess if we keep it in secret with him as a “friend” I won’t. The problem is that she does not want anyone to judge her as a slut, and to think she is cheating on me, while the situation is an agreement between us.

Guys, thanks for the comments.
Erock

Hi WhiteWolf,
Why "not the chastity though" I think it w'll be very humiliating with a lot of enjoyment for you?
Isn't it?

Seen it happen many times. There is a very good chance that her friends, lady and sisters are in on the whole scenario. And probably giving her much advice on how to do it right.

The basic thing works like this: She has found another man, has every intention of replacing you with him. Once he is introduced to family and friends, he will become an instant "darling" of everybody involved. Wifey's friends, lady and sisters will lavish him with acceptance and his rise in stature will come at your expense.

She keeps her honor, dignity, respect, friends and gets the pleasure of making you the total asshole as everyone cheers her on for making such a smart move.

Women are much smarter than men. Don't fuck with them!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

But will she leave me?
Erock

Maybe. You need to make sure, by having an open honest non sexual discussion with her about her feelings in all this, and how she sees you.

Imagine the thrill and ecstasy your relatives can experience from meeting this Black Man!

Her friends and family already know, introducing your family is just the next step.

This seems to me to be at once overly pessimistic about her intent and overly optimistic about the reaction of others.

Let's take the first part first. Just because she wants to be able to introduce her bf to her family and friends does not mean that she intends to trade you for him as a husband, obviously. The entire existence of the cuckolding lifestyle proves the point. You say:


This suggests that she is struggling with the competing agendas of wanting to feel less false and deceptive to people on the one hand and not wanting to rejected for the lifestyle on the other. This is quite normal and common in my experience and does not imply any desire or intent on her part to discontinue the lifestyle. Indeed, if living the lifestyle gets too stressful, a woman is generally more likely to end it with the bf than the husband for a number of reasons.

As to the impact of going public, the idea that friends and family will gleefully embrace the new bf and/or promote going with him over staying with the husband is cuckold fantasy in the vast majority of cases.

Yes, it is in theory possible that all of a woman's friends and family think awfully of her spouse and that she made a mistake and would be well rid of him AND don't have a very great attachment to traditional notions of marriage, fidelity, and women's roles AND/OR are so sexually uptight and twisted about traditional men's roles that the fact of the husband's tolerance and/or fetish makes him illegitimate in their eyes. But it is really, really unlikely.

Reactions will, of course, depend on individuals and relationships. You will know the mores and manners of your particular social set better than any of us strangers. But here are some thoughts about what is likely: The six people who already know will be alarmed and/or amused based on their existing views of the situation. As it is, these people are probably in two groups: those who mostly think the two of you engaging in this fetish is fun and fine (maybe with envy, maybe with fascination, maybe with condescension) and those who think it is silly, misguided, or regrettable, but accept it. Members of both groups will react to the further development accordingly but, being inexperienced with the kink, both types will wonder where this is going and whether the bf will supplant you in the manner I_A_S_P describes.

If they are alarmed or worried by that, they may well try to intervene to prevent it. For instance, her m-o-t-h-e-r ("lady") or sister might take her aside and tell her she is "going too far," she should "grow up," etc. and are likely to guilt trip her about her unconventional, promiscuous sexuality. Which she won't like. To minimize that, she is going to have to be ready to really explain and reassure people of her intentions.

As for people who do not already know, I think you will find it harder to keep it a secret when six people already know, unless none of them are geographically near or mix with your set. Once the bf is in your social circle, small tells of the close friendship he has with you wife will raise flags with folks. To avoid that would require a level of circumspection - even paranoia - that runs counter to your wife's whole desire to be more open about him. Whether they watch more closely or ask bluntly or just lock it down in their mind and tell themselves it is none of their business depends on their manners. But the likelihood that everyone will just keep tight-lipped and pretend they noticed nothing is low in contemporary society. (It was much higher in other times and places of human history.) Those low numbers become almost non-existent if you throw into the mix six women who already know all. When the whispers start, will they all lie for you? Will they act completely dumb when asked direct or leading questions. Way unlikely.

As far as her being judged a slut, I'm afraid that is likely to happen. The judgement results from deep societal biases about both women's behavior and monogamy as well as the fears and insecurities of the people who make it. Even if everyone has it completely explained to them that this is totally consensual and equitable - that you are a full partner and love it, it will not change the opinion some people take of her specifically. Some will simply demote you from blameless victim to perv and pimp. Be ready for anger and poses of moral superiority. For others less rigid, it may help to soften their views and leave them either neutral ("well, if it is OK with him and they both enjoy it, who am I to judge,") or cautiously accepting ("it works for them and that's what matters,") so that their views of her are less harsh. Nevertheless, unless they themselves share (and embrace) this or a related fetish they are still likely to think that her behavior is slutty.

You know your friends better than I do and I hope they can cope. I wish the best to both of you in this.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Hi guys!

My wife broke up with her boyfriend... found a new one.

I think that this turnover is healthy, don´t you?

They stayed toghether for 6 months.

The new one is with her for 2 months now.

Well, she never introduced him to her family and our friends.... not that she asked me my oppinion, but I think she did not feel like doing it.

News: the new boyfriend also wants to be introduced, and she is more like into doing it. She told me that she will not do it on purpose, but wont try to hide from anyone.

She want us to "get out of the closet".

So now I am getting her name tattooed on the top of my caged cock (havent fucked her in 6 months now).

She is getting a queen of spades tattoo on her showder. Here in Brazil the tattoo is not so popular but we are exited about it, for we will let others to know about our lifestyle without being intrusive.

Do you know if persons outside the circle know the symbol?

If my wife is with me, who knows what it means will try to talk to her or be aggressive? The rude way? And if we're caccompanied by friends or family?

Lets talk!!

Regards!
Erock

You probably know best how well known the Ace of Spades tattoo is as a symbol of cuckoldry with a black man in your country...my guess is that outside the lifestyle not too many people are going to recognize it for what it is. Even in the U.S. many mainstream people would not grasp the meaning. Only a cuckold or the wife of one or her bull would know immediately. Also you would by now hopefully know how accepting mainstream Brazilians are of you being a 'Cornuto'. I have found through the years that even though it is still a little humiliating to the cuckold hubby, Italians and Spanish are generally accepting of the 'Cornuto' status, particularly if hubby doesn't seem to mind his wife's escapades and puts up with them (even welcomes them in some cases). In Spain, for example, there is even a magazine dedicated to the subject, encouraging hubbies to learn to eat cream pies, etc. which would seem to indicate that Spaniards are now much more accepting of the lifestyle. In any case good luck and enjoy your well deserved status. You will be the envy of some cuckold wannabe husbands while at the same time other husbands still into the 'machismo' thing will feel sorry for you. You can't please everybody, so you may just as well concentrate on pleasing yourself and your Queen of Spades wife. It's all that really matters...yours and her happiness and hopefully her bull's.

hi.

Here people are not familiar with the tattoo... specialy outsiders the lifestyle.

My question: in the US, even outside the clubs, will black men hit on her?

Is the cuckold status well accepted in the US?

I see its more and more commom, but is this open to everyone?
Erock

erock
I can assure you the cuckold lifestyle is widespread in the USA. Black sexing is found almost everywhere.

MBBD's advice in his posts# 3 and #11 (above) is sound and I suggest that you consider all of his expert views on this subject.

Otherwise, it seems like your wife is doing things as she feels and you have no real control over any of this. What state do you and she believe your marriage will be in 3 years from today on this current trajectory? Is there a Plan B or an exit strategy if (when) things fuck up? What exactly are you both expecting from this behavior and why?
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Thanks for the anwsers.
I do have some control. We can talk and discuss things. I think that if I do oppose she will respect me. I have never opposed so far.
I believe we will be toghether for the long run. And the reason I do so is that its very hard to find a man that provides like I do and also accepts being a cuckold. She values stability and a family man who will take care of her ********.
The plan B if she dumps me is living my life.... anything can happen... she can fall in love ... I can fall in love...
We are having fun and we like public ***********....
I dont know the answers!!!
Erock

New tattoo
Erock

erock
And just where did she place this new Tat? Did she have it tattooed just above her BBC receiving vagina?

This tattoo is on the upper part of my leg. close to my butt.
Erock

Can you see it better?
Erock

Nice tattoo, Erok!

Thanks for keeping us all in the loop on your developing relationship. I want to qualify that the advice I gave above was rooted in my background and understanding of contemporary U.S. culture. There may be some significant qualifications needed when considering life in Brazil. (A beautiful country, but I've only ever been briefly.)

Having said that, based on your updates, it seems to me pretty clear that what your wife is after is a life in which she is more open about your arrangement and not one in which she exits it. (If you are still concerned about that.) And the same basic issues remain: When the two of you come out, some of those who already know you will accept it (at various speeds and with varying levels of enthusiasm) and some will not and will leave your orbit (with varying levels of drama or venom and varying levels of speed again - you may never hear again from some while others slowly "drift" away.) This is true about any change in life, lifestyle, interests, or outlook. But don't forget the positive: Living "out" means you will make new friends who accept this part about you and are comfortable with it. You may even build some friendships based on shared interests in cuckolding or IR, etc.

My advice is to worry less about what would make others happy and more about what will make the two of you happy. It seems clear from your posts that your wife would be happier if she could be more open about her dating and the arrangements of the marriage. You say that you are willing to lose friends. (Or perhaps we should say, outgrow them -- for you shall surely find new ones.) Is she? It seems to me that is the nub of the question: Is your wife willing to endure awkwardness and perhaps ugliness, and losing some friends, for the benefit of a future where she lives more open and out loud about her sexuality and romantic life?

If she is (and I think it would be healthy), since you already are, you should move in that direction. Just be thoughtful and show some care as you do. In particular, be mindful of potential economic or professional fallout. The biggest stressor of relationships, after all, is not outside sex or love, it is money troubles.

Good luck to you both; you seem a delightful couple.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Hi! Yes I will try to share as many details as possible and I appreciate your comments, for its healthy to listen to more experienced friends.

Brazil is indeed a beautiful country but dangerous. We are considering mooving to Europe or the US.

Is cuckolding becomming more common in the US?

Do people respect cuckolds?

Here in Brazil, they do not. Being "corno" is a shame.

Yes my wife enjoys to let people know about our lifestyle but she is concern about judment.

Some friends of her and her sisters know. They dont judge. They dont want to listen about it, but do not judge.

I dont understand the economic fallout. What do you mean?

Thanks!!!
Erock

Hello Erok!

How are things going in your life and relationship?

Regarding the questions you asked in your previous post:

Is cuckolding becomming more common in the US?

Impossible to say because reliable data - current or historical - doesn't exist. It is becoming more visible and open as a result of the Internet age.

Do people respect cuckolds?

It depends on the specific people you mean, of course, but generally cuckolds in the U.S. are seen as either victims, weaklings, perverts, closet cases, or fool - or some combination of thereof.

Here in Brazil, they do not. Being "corno" is a shame.

Here too.

Yes my wife enjoys to let people know about our lifestyle but she is concern about judment.

Understandable and appropriate. There will be judgement and much of it unkind.

Some friends of her and her sisters know. They dont judge. They dont want to listen about it, but do not judge.

Probably the best you can hope for with most people. When they don't want to hear, by the way, it generally means they do judge, but are willing to live and let live rather then censure.

I dont understand the economic fallout. What do you mean?

Here in the US, being seen as a pervert, weakling, weirdo, or emasculated can lead to discrimination in hiring and promotion, reducing income and prospects.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

I have had a similar experience.
My wife enjoyed humiliating me with one of her co-workers she was fucking. She invited him to our home to attend one of our parties. She acted like she was his girlfriend in front of everyone. Told me to get up so that she could sit next to him. He smiled and laughed with many others when I got up to let him sit next to my wife. My wife had already told several friends, co-workers and relatives she was fucking him and that she told me to accept it or leave. Kind of humiliating for me knowing that friends and family knew that I accepted that my wife was a slut and was fucking anyone she wanted to, and that I accepted it. One of my wife's sisters said to me, in front of everyone, that my wife was his girlfriend and that she was having sex with him. Then she made it worse by saying, "but you don't mind do you?" Everyone laughed when I looked devastated and humiliated. I ignored her statement and did not answer her. however,by me not denying her statement, I think most people assumed that her statement was true.

bostamp
you should have said Yes! Bob, and then thanked him publicly for fucking her properly as you were unable to
joguy

Hi Bostamp... please update us! Thanks
Erock

Hi erock, do you have any updates?

This is a hot topic! I hope erock and others post more!

Hey erok and bostamp, how are things going these days for you guys?

I think several people on the site might like to hear updates. (I know I would!)
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.