Just how satisfying is public humiliation and exposure?

I’ve been into cuckolding and most that goes along with it (chastity, feminization, small penis offense etc.) for a few years now and it’s gotten to the point where I think I’ve finally worked up the courage to turn my fantasies into reality. I’m in my early twenties and have recently moved to a new city so I’m both friendless (that is, they all live hours away) and I’m single. I’m in the process of finding a job and I’m sure new friends will be made the longer I’m here but I’ve been thinking: would it be possible to build up my life to not only maximise the offense of exposure but to also ensure that the offense it continues indefinitely. Could I seek out specific people and build friendships with them so that once my shortcomings become public knowledge, they’d maintain our friendship and then jump on the “laugh at and humiliate the small dicked loser” bandwagon.

The main reamister I’ve held off from setting the all out public exposure thing in motion is because I figured that it wouldn’t be as satisfying as my fantasies make it out to be. People always act and react how you want them to in a fantasy, but they don’t do the same in real life.

If pictures of me dressed like a sissy sucking cock was sent to someone I know, they wouldn’t send it to everyone and then proceed to humiliate me at every opportunity or coerce and blackmail me into sending them more pictures for their entertainment. They’d simply stop talking to me and our friendship would be reduced to a series of brief and awkward encounters.

And despite what’s said on this forum most women either don’t care about cock size or if they do, they stay quite about it. They don’t have any desire to tease and humiliate men because they grew out of that bitch mentality when they left high school. At best a small number will find it amusing, and they might even make a joke about it every now and again in a friendly “no offense, just kidding” kind of way (I have a friend who does this to me, even to the point of putting insinuating comments on my facebook page. She knows I find it a turn on, but I think she sees it as just another way to flirt with me. And even though it is enjoyable, it’s nothing to blow a load over).

However, I emphasize the word “most”. There are woman out there who are both size queens and bitches. And there are the alpha males who keep beta males around to boost their ego (not to mention they all seem to group together). So again I ask the question: would it be possible for me to join or build up a group of friends like this so that once I do expose myself everybody would tease and humiliate me, the women would feminize me, the guys will line up to fuck my girlfriend who hasn’t left me but instead cuckolded me. I’d still be invited to parties and barbecues simply because everybody finds my public offense entertaining.

Or do I need to just accept the fact that this is a naïve fantasy that will never come true? Or is there a scenario in between these two that’s a possibility?

You ask good questions, and are unlikely to engender long, detailed answers in a venue such as this. First, head over to Fetlife for a non-sensationalist view and ask the same question there; probably to better effect. Second, realize that purely vanilla folks won't react the way kink-oriented folks will. By cultivating kink friendly acquaintances you will put yourself in an entirely different set of circumstances. Write me directly for more discussion.


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a Superior's satisfaction, lust, enjoyment count for all. A cuck's sexual orientation, "needs", for nothing.

My advice to you is to seek out your local BDSM group. Find out where a local "Munch" is hosted at and get involved there. It is there that you will find like minded "Kinky" people who would be open to fulfilling your fantasies.

After getting involved, I met a FemmeDomme who would have made a perfect cuckoldress. She had a couple she played with as a bottom and the husband fucked her all the time. She used to go to parties and play with woman as well where no men were allowed. We "Dated" for a few months until I met my wife who was submissive to me and eventually became my slave after I started switching.

Good luck.

Page beat me by "One Minute" LOL

Fetlife.com is another avenue and you can find local "Kink Miinded" people there in your area too.

Wannabe...if you haven't already, please check out my stuff here (my wife) and for exposure of my dungeon photos and whore-for-men exposure along with my wife's identification as my spouse, head to Fet. Sensual4Wife did the offense on his profile. You are obviously literate and intelligent and I hope you post comments there!

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a Superior's satisfaction, lust, enjoyment count for all. A cuck's sexual orientation, "needs", for nothing.

Page, I will take a look when I get a chance. Thanks for the compliments.

Aeon, Public offense is quite a bit more intense than fantasy as you can imagine. Before I was a Dom, I had a FemmeDomme training me. She once had me crawl to her in a grocery store parking lot. Granted, it was night time, but it was still intense as people were walking to their vehicles. She also had me take he to lunch one day in a tourist type town while wearing a collar locked on my neck. There was another time where she walked me across the street from the sex club to our vehicle in the crosswalk while cars were sitting at the red light watching us. We were both wearing fetish wear at the time. She also told her best friend all about me and when we met her, it was quite embarrassing to know she knew all of my sexual secrets, turn ons and fantasies.

Sometimes, play parties where everyone is kink minded can be embarrassing as well. We were lovers as well as play partners and we both went to a play party. We both went at separate times and both as Dom's. When I found her, she was playing with a submissive she met. He was on his knees, naked with a helium balloon tied to his penis. She came over to me, completely ignoring him and french kissed me for several seconds while he watched, looking pathetic. I gave him a smile as I groped her ass. I couldn't imagine the offense he must have felt being seen that way while another man was intimate with his Domme. Oh how I like to cuckold subbies.

First of all, I think it's disrespectful to others to engage in "public offense" in public. I don't imagine parents out walking in the park with their youngren would appreciate seeing a man on his knees kissing a woman's shoes; nor would "normal" people in any setting enjoy that sort of thing.

However, if it's done within the setting of a BDSM club, as some in this thread have suggested, "public" offense can be a wonderful experience. I've been lucky enough to have had a number of such experiences (although it's been many years now). In the early 1990s, my wife/Mistress Cassie and I actually helped start a BDSM club in our area which grew to several dozen members and lasted quite a few years. At parties, I've had the humiliating pleasure of running around nude serving takes to a roomful of mistresses and masters. On many occasions, I knelt naked beside my mistress holding her plate or takes while she relaxed on a chair or sofa, chatting with other dominants. And on two occasions, my wife's lover accompanied us to the club, and I served both of them (the second night culminated in both my wife and her boyfriend whipping me while others looked on.)

Those are great, erotic memories which I'll never forget. Sure, I was humiliated in front of others, but it was done in an appropriate setting.

There was, however, one instance of public offense which I'll recount that doesn't evoke such fond memories. It happened when Cassie and I first met with the man who would become her second long-term lover, Omar. We met in the bar of a local hotel. The place was empty except the waitress and a man a couple tables over from us.

Cassie, Omar and I sat at our table getting to know each other, discussing our mistress/slave lifestyle, and how we'd recently entered into cuckolding. They did all the talking while I stayed quiet, and it seemed like their words echoed throughout the empty room. I could literally see the man a few tables over craning his neck trying to pick up our conversation. And the waitress seemed to sense what was going on, too, judging from her smug smiles. By the time she came over to ask if we needed refills, I was really flustered and said I wanted to leave.

"But we just got here," my wife said.

"Yeah," the waitress added. "What's the rush? Can't you see the lady is enjoying herself?"

That sounds like it would make good jerk-off fodder, but I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. And there was nothing pleasureable about it, either. It's just a bad memory.

cw ... glad to see you are still around. Nice to see old familiar screen names. And as always you have great real life advice.

My 2 cents in agreement with you, is to add that you should not end a scene in either a hospital emergency room or a police station. Tends to ******* the wonderfulness of the moment.The great vanilla world has the right to expect that our lifestyle is not pushed into their space.

That being said, there is a lot of mind play that can go on in public. "Public" play that goes on in the mind and is not in the face (or they are even aware of) can be wonderful. But steps do have to be taken to make sure that it is not in their mind.

CW.. is right though, a BDSM or private gathering of in the know people can be an appropriate gathering for more in the know folks.

Aeon_Cuck,

You've gotten a lot of good advice here and I have nothing to add except validation and some notes from my own experiences.

I think you are wise to distinguish between fantasy reaction and the reaction of real world people. Most of the people we become friends with in life are neither as naive or as gleefully game as the populations of our fantasies. Some of the other posters focused on the idea of public scenes, but I picked up from your comments that you have a different program in mind. From what I gather you hope in this new town to build a life, essentially, around your fetish - to meet people and build relationships with an express eye towards eventually being open to them about your sexuality.

The advice about seeking kink-involved people is good. Beyond that you need to focus on the socially broad minded generally. You also need, I fear, to lower your expectations some.

When we went public with folks about my sexuality, we didn't suddenly shock them with some hard core scene. Words are less aggressive then photos, which are less aggressive than real-time demonstrations. Further, conversations allow a feedback loop and you'll find that people are not afraid to send you very clear signals that they either don't want to know, are repulsed, are uncertain but curious, are fascinated and interested. You can always stop when they don't want to go further and change the subject.

Being respectful when people make it clear they don't want to go there will help, but you still need to be prepared for the fact that some people will not react well. In our experience there were a few reasons for this: Some people backed away from us because on some level they were scared and afraid of being "contaminated," or of guilt by association, etc. Yes, that sounds ********, but we all behave that way sometimes. Fear makes us run. The worst of these were those who could not accept it because it threatened what they believed about themselves (religiously, etc.)

Other people were angry because they felt that they had been misled about either who I was or who we were as a couple. If you think about it you can see their POV, though I would argue that most people only know certain facets of their friends. (This seems a greater risk for you as there is a sense in which you are choosing people precisely to spring this on them later.) Others were cool with it, just not really into it and grew further from us just because we didn't have as much area of common interests as we had all thought previously.

For everybody, no matter what their level of fear, anger, tolerance, curiosity, frank interest, or enthusiasm (and there were some in the later categories) the real problem was awkwardness. Those of us into public h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n get off on the sense of nervousness and embarrassment, other people just feel uncomfortable and they will back away to avoid that feeling. Their whole relationship with you, their modes of interaction, what they thought they knew, maybe even their idea of you, has been twisted like a funhouse. You need to make an extra effort and be extra sensitive and patient, helping them to find a new rapport in you changed, evolved relationship.

If none of this sounds hot, it is because it often isn't. But it can be sometimes and if you are a public h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n fetishist you'll get the pleasure from the dread of lead-up, the agony of the awkward, painful revelation, and the shame that follows. In full disclosure, I was often so scared and worried that I did not enjoy the moments sexually at all when they happened. But they provided such wonderful spank-worthy memory and such shame to revel in! But that is my pattern, yours might be different.

The advantages to me have been (a) some of the folks were interested enough to participate some, (b) others, now knowing, have adjusted their relationship and treatment of me (sort of like the girl who lightly flirts with you), (c) my wife can be open about her boyfriends with those who stuck with us now that things have settled again, (d) I have realized more fully my fantasy. But this did come with negatives: Lost friends and relationships changed forever. Living more fully your fantasy doesn't just mean adding to your daily life; for me it has also meant taking away. Even many of those who are still our friends have different relationships with us, and me especially, now. Loss of status can be hot, but it can be a burden to live with. (But I don't regret it and I sometimes wish I could do it all over again!)

Anyway, I would say, be careful who you come out to and go slow. But go for it.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Good points to ponder. Now in my situations, it was nearly 2am when we were out and about and there was no play when kids or families were present. You do have to be careful not to upset the church going folk.

Like I said, find a local munch and get with a BDSM group. You will definately get your share of offense.

Wow, I've lurked this forum for a while and when I posted this thread I didn't expect the advice to be so insightful.

I don't expect my ultimate fantasy to become reality, I'm hopeful but not naive. I can accept that public offense can result in some bad things and I can differentiate between fantasy and reality. The main reamister I've been thinking about the idea of building up friendships exclusively with people that would embrace my exposure rather than reject it is because (or at least would be open minded enough to accept it) is because I'm worried that if I'm not careful I'll inadvertently develop friendships and/or relationships that will ultimately prevent me from properly exploring the cuckold lifestyle. I'd hate to end up a patheitic, middle aged, fat fuck jacking off behind a computer screen whos fear prevents him from exploring his fantasies.

I think the best thing to do would be to get into my local BDSM scene. But the problem is, I have no idea how the BDSM scene works or even where it is. Does everybody have specific people they look for or is anyone welcome? Do I just walk in and say "hello, here's what I'm interested in" or does everyone speak in a series of vague insinuations? I have stumred upon Fetlife.com before but I haven't made a profile because I doubt people would be very responsive to a profile with no pictures.

MrsBlackBlowupDoll, how exacty do you start a conversation like that? Do you try to steer the conversation in a direction that would make talking about your lifestye relevant, or do you just abruptly bring it up? Also, you make a good point that people could reject me regardless of how they feel about it, but because their angry that I've been deceitful. But the thrill of exposure comes from people not knowing, all the nervousness, embarrassment and unpredictability of exposure wouldn't be possible if people knew from the start. Or does the guilt of being selfish and loosing friends who would have been enthusiastic strip away most of the pleasure from the whole thing?

631 147 492 My wife is slut! Full control and able to submit her photo on the Internet! password 1976

My advise would be the BDSM clubs and be friendly but maybe let them control how the conversations go. Start slowly. When my wife and I first got into SM and she began taking boyfriends, lots of our friends just freaked. I think they felt deceived and that usually leads to rejection. We lost lots of friends and gained others later. When they discovered that I liked guys too, even more freaked. More felt deceived. There are people into the offense scene but it does lose some of the thrill when everyone knows from the beginning, but those that find it shocking may want to get away from it and you. The larger the city the more open minded people become usually I think. I just know we should have been open with more people from the beginning and maybe we wouldn't have lost some of our closest friends in those years but then some of them would never have accepted us anyway had they known. Maybe if you're open from the beginning it will spare harsh feelings later.

How to break into BDSM - I recommend munches. These are normally vanilla gatherings (sorry I assume - vanilla means people not into the lifestyle or kink) where lifestyle people go to socialize with other lifestyle friends at an open place like a restaurant. They are meant to be meet and greets so new-comers are welcome. That being said, don't expect instant acceptance and openness. Like any social situations it takes time to know and be known. You will find people of different kinks, persuasions, genders and of course body status. Some of those people you will like, some you won't. This is real life. Go, munch, LISTEN and say hello.

You can find them by googling words like munch, BDSM, your town, nearest big town or state. Some of these files are out of date, but a little persistence and maybe an email or two to the contact will pay dividends. If you want more specific help I need to know more. Feel free to send me a PM here.

Now a thought about the followin quote from your above message -

"I'm worried that if I'm not careful I'll inadvertently develop friendships and/or relationships that will ultimately prevent me from properly exploring the cuckold lifestyle. I'd hate to end up a pathetic, middle aged, fat fuck jacking off behind a computer screen whos fear prevents him from exploring his fantasies".

I have been in the lifestyle for many decades. But I, nor do I think you are a one note permisterality. I would encourage you, and everyone to be open to life, all of life, and all its possibilities. Living a 24/7 kink relationship soon will become boring and stiffing. A long way to say that you want and friends who are "vanilla."

Be well and good luck in your search.

It depends on the person and the relationship you already have with them. Like any conversation where you reveal a preference (in food, entertainment, politics, whatever), you need to bring it up in context. Steer the conversation to sex, or fetish, or kinks, etc. first. You can usually find a hook for this in current events. (How many conversations about sex has Charlie Sheen's press coverage generated?) You can feel them out about things in the abstract first - talking of things you've read or heard or seen about what people are into. If it goes well and they return the serves, then you can get a bit more personal. Talk about someone you knew once or dated who was into it and see how they react to the idea generally when not personalized to either you or them. Ask them what they think makes people want that, or volunteer your own thoughts. If they seem broad minded and tolerant of it (and people are usually more tolerant of something in theory then if they encounter it first hand) you can get confessional and say something like: "It sounds like it would be kind of a thrill actually," or "Ohh, I think I'm getting a bit turned on by this," or some such thing. If they are repulsed, you can laugh it off and retreat. If not, you can put it out a bit further and see if they want to ask about it. If they don't, you can let it go at that and move the conversation on to other things. If they do, it is an invitation to get more revealing.

Note that all of this is based on the idea of a conversation you can stop or back out of if you get red flags. Alternately, you can be a bit more aggressive in a conversation where you are intent on communicating the information about you preferences one way or the other. But you should still be polite about it. Again, bring it up in context - but this time gently-yet-firmly dissent from from any negative views they express. So, for instance: "Actually, I totally get it. I think if that makes them happy and that is who they are, so be it." You could also move to the personal faster: "Actually, I totally get it. Frankly it is a big turn on for me," but that is a bit more confrontational so I wouldn't. The main thing is that you get to a place where you say something along the lines of, "Well, actually, I have this fetish myself - I think public h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n is really hot and I'm totally into it." You do not, of course, then give a demonstration. You are just sharing information about yourself with a friend. (Adult beverages help these conversations sometimes.)

In my case, we told so many folks that we tried a number of ways. In one case we were staying with friends for the wedding of another set of mutual friends. (I'll call them Sue and Dennis.) I was ironing things for my wife in their living room and when Sue noticed that her bridesmaid dress was crumpled from a too short bag. My wife volunteered me immediately. Sue was really impressed by my ironing skills and my wife just said right out, in a jocular manner, "yes I'm training him to be the maid." Sue stopped and looked at us and said, "the maid... excellent, I knew it!" paused and added, "see, I told Dennis you two were like that." She also said this slightly sarcastically. By being light and tongue in cheek about it, both of them had given themselves the ability to dismiss it as a joke. But the message had been received and later (not that day - we were all busy with the wedding - but that weekend) Sue took the matter up again with us when she was comfortable. Although I know she communicated everything to Dennis, he never explicitly brought it up and it was over a year before he implicitly signaled that he knew. He was not comfortable talking about it and wanted to not know details (at least from us) and be left out of it. (Changed with time; another story.) Sue went back and forth between carefully fishing for more info and retreating if we were too forthright before eventually getting down to a good old, wine-fueled girl-talk with my wife. (This took about a year - but we were separated by distance so did not see each other regularly.) In several cases, friends would bitch about their houses being a mess or how much trouble it was to take care of their homes or clothes, which provided a perfect opening for me or my wife to steer the conversation. We would mention how that is not a problem for us and how I do all the housework and pretty soon we were dropping hints - or outright saying things. (One friend said, "wow this place looks great, do you want to come clean my house." She was surprised when I said I would be honored to and the conversation grew from there.)

I think you'll find that getting the conversation started is not the hard part. (We found that the film Pulp Fiction gave us all kinds of chances to steer the conversation to BDSM.) The hard part is confessing your preferences (if you can, without blushing or stammering, although these are also good communicators of the information about your fetish), but then that is also the good part, isn't it?
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.