Took plunge!!! Angst is killing me! Advice please

So she came to grab the kids and by now we have had sex several times in the context of her being unfaithful and not hiding it. She's also had more affection for me and I believe she may, might just be attributed to the guilt but she said how much shelves to be held by me.
Anyway she walked right in and into the bedroom. And waited before entering my bed. SHE took her top off with her back facing me as I grabbed her from behind went for her bottoms which she also grabbed to help with the proces. Climbed into my bed and I too got naked and joined her. We laid in each others arms as she purred like a kitten when I ran my hand up and down her body.
My cock was rock hard and she brushed her hand around it but didn't stroke me. She said she didn't have much time so I dive right down and started licking her pussy. With devotion and attention to her most sensitive area. I asked it she brought me a clean or naughty pussy. "Clean." Was her response and I moaned as I sucked her clit.
She came quickly and I dove right I with my aching cock. She took me in and was surely enjoying my attempt to pleasure her. She moaned an when i grabbed her neck to ***** her she tilted her head back and pushed her neck up. I didn't want to press her for dirty talks so I kept it to a minimum but told her do you want my load "of course I do. Cum inside me" I asked if he comes inside and she said yeah. Then I asked if she was going to fuck him later to what she replied "I hope so" I encouraged her to see how many loads she can get inside of her . She just smiled but again mentioned she had to go she was running late.
I focused on her body and the bruises he left on her. He leaves violent Vickie's everywhere. On her tits and multiple on her thighs. They turned me on and in moments I piped a loaf into my ex.
I don't know how you are after sex but unless its a great session I'm not the type to just lay there. I eat up and get dressed as if I'm leaving a crime scene. So did she. She got dressed and was out the door within minutes.
Told me she had fun.
Spent the day again texting nice things and that she wanted to see me thanksgiving morning since she needed to pass by my ways.....more on that in the next chapter
Ronald Curry

I like it that she's leaving your bed with her cunt full of your fresh cum and seemingly going to meet her new lover taking him a fresh load - kind of carrying on the established cuckold tradition. I wonder if he know's that he's getting sloppy seconds?

She is definitely trying to make amends, but continues to struggle with the many, mixed emotions. However, now you too seem to be having second thoughts about your relationship.

Obviously, nobody here can help with that issue. Only you can sort out your true feelings and decide whether or not you want to try and rebuild. I might suggest that you don't make a decision while you're in the midst of all this confusion. Keep moving forward with her... enjoy the hot sex... keep talking... maybe keep seeing other women... basically just stay on the path you're on, until something changes. That gives you time to think things through. Later, after you get your bearings, then you can sit down with her and talk about your future.

One thing to think about is that you have the potential to have a Hotwife/Cuck relationship with her. You've had a taste of it now, and as you know it can be pretty addictive. You may find yourself missing that action if you divorce. Women who enjoy the lifestyle are rare. Finding another one could be tough...
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

How true!

The next day she wanted to visit in the morning again. This time she wasn't as into and already mentioned she didn't want sex and that she came to see me and have me hold her in my arms if only for a moment. Which I did but of course couldn't help myself and within 10 minutes I was down on her and licking that adulterous cunt of hers. The bruises still there and gone from fresh to a dark bruised Hickies all over her thighs. She acre uncomfortable and I asked If she was naughty to which she said yes. I kicked her to orgasm and then had to plunge in to which she showed pain. I didn't care and fucked her rough but she complained.
Now I doubt she ever complains with him. I know how she is. I you have her heart you get it all. She very giving from little things to gifts and especially the bedroom. But her she is humiliating me in such a way to not even accepting my cock. I was so horny I had to cum I asked for a blowjob she looked smiling and said shock her head no.
So I went down on her and licker her ass, he wouldn't even offer to stroke me. I asked if I could cum to which her answer was "yes cum on my asshole." So there I was tongue buried in her ass, stroking myself as she layed on her side. Finally came and she immediately got up and was out the door within 5 minutes.
I got to say I didnt really enjoy that.
Talk to her about it as she continued to tell me she misses. I told her we should talk because I didn't want her to just do thi with me and not have some enjoyment but also that we need to talk about expectations and what we want out if this. She said we will talk and that has happened yet. I got more updates ahead...
Ronald Curry

She keeps sending me things about missing me and proverbs like "sometimes two people have to fall apart to get back together" all **** like that. Meanwhile she spent the whole weekend with him including going out Saturday night. Which included a stay overnight in a suite with 2 other couples. She sent me a pic of what she looke like that night and she was surely sexy. She had to mention to me how her new boyfriend told her everywhere they went that men would stare at her. She said she never noticed that. I'm not sure what her purpose of that comment was.
Then came a text about another woman that she is interested in hooking up with but wouldn't because they've been in relationships but she wouldn't do a threesome with her man.
But how she got a text directly from him stating this exact words "you know you and Stacy could've fucked around and he man coulda fucked u n I would fuck her"
I asked her twice if anything fun happened that night to both times not getting a response.
She's with him again today but we have to meet at 4.
I have a date tonight wig another woman I haven't met yet, this one is an online thing. But we'll see how it goes.
Then my ex says she wants me to come over tonight, to which of course I played it off like a maybe but I surely will be there.
I have a feeling she is going to have some news and that now looks as if her Sex life is getting even more intense.
For right now I'm enjoying the ride but for some odd reason, I just want to kind of eat away from this. It makes me less aggressive hunting for women. ****** quite explain it but given its no us in a relationship and her having adventures. Is us separated and her inviting me in but in a way that doesn't feel cuckold. Although she says she's trying and clearly we've had some adventures, it just doesn't feel healthy to me.
Ronald Curry

She continues to tell you about her sexual adventures for two reasons... she still feels close to you and is comfortable confiding in you. The other reason is that she knows it gets you off, and believes that you find her more desirable because she's out exploring sexually with others.

However, it sounds like you're getting a little confused yourself. That's understandable. Your relationship is very murky. It's definitely not a true Cuck relationship, yet it does have cuck elements. She's seeing others... you're seeing others... basically you two don't have any structure to your relationship. You don't know where you stand.

You may need to sit down and have a heart to heart chat with her. Hash things out. Even if you can't agree on where it's headed, you can at least figure out where you are now, and see if you need to set out some rules or boundaries for the time being. She's still very interested in staying in your life. The question is, do you still feel the same about her (?)
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Nothing to update. I had to travel for work and since she was close to the airport and it was convenient for me to come there in the evening, relieve the babysitter, and she was cool with me spending tr night. But keep in mind we haven't seen each other in about 4 days now. All of which she spent with him, including the night out which one 2 occasions she dodged the question of how freaky she got and whether she got with another girl.
Do basically she stopped this dialogue of her sharing sex info, which for some odd reason I'm also stopped prodding for. A part of me resents her for everything that's happened, but as I've stated ill to along for the ride. Then anther aspect, I in a way have lost some attraction of her. I'm confused. And angry how she is so sexual with him including stuff shed do with me like outfits or crotchless panties, which she's having him enjoy. Meanwhile for the past secer years has shown me now initiative. And now that there are a few women in talking to and one who I've fucked now and will again, I don't desire to be doing this is her. It's something I can't describe.
Anyway, back to the story.
I came there to spend the night, I was also suppose to have her out in fishnets and key me play with her feet which was out deal. I pay for pedicures, she allows a monthly worship session and only for a few minutes. Which one enjoy and shr does too as I get super hard. Anyway I get to indulge. It's usually me in my knees at tr foot of the bed and with her havin the covers over her body except her feet. She is also sensitive so I have to do it slowly and passionately. After my times up she pulls her sexy feet away. At this point in super horny and she was already dropping lines and complaining before hand. She would t even come to Ned I had to go get her to. Anyway I was so horny i ripped her bottoms off dive my mouth to her cunt and spit on it. Then started fucking her. At first pleasurable moans. The phone rings. Next she's basically telling me to get off. I'm like what the fuck am I doing? This bitch belonged to me for years, I back off and let her enjoy herself, she still wants me to want her and had come to fuck me, and now she's making me feel like **** , as if I'm ******* myself in some form of ****.
I'm a confident man. Pussy has always been easy. But I don't want to feel like that especially considering how thins have been.
Next day I get a message. The boyfriend drive by the house while I was there. She told me that he said to her to go fuck herself and that she's a slut....
Ronald Curry

I think you need to give serious consideration whether or not you want to continue this - she's fucking with your head right now, and her boyfriend is getting pissed as well. Leave her be.

Agree with kennyboy to some extent. You both seem to be confused about what you want. You're not sure if you want to continue with her, or explore other women. She's not sure if she wants him, you or both. She may not be wanting to mess with your head, but her actions definitely are. Your situation is deteriorating into a mess. You need to sit down with her to talk (no sex involved) and sort out your feelings. If she won't do that, then you need to figure out what's best for you and head down that path, with or without her...
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

As of now everything is squashed. She's distant and I'm not interested.
Out business is the kids and that's about it.
My attention is towards work, some personal goals, and other women.

She didn't appreciate me. Really made me feel like ****. Here she was for years neglecting her husbands needs, meanwhile i tried everything from counseling to boner pills to dating and intimacy, to learn she had just checked out. And today doing everything for her boyfriend she wouldn't do to me. Sexy outfits and a lust and passion for sex.
I'm just going to choose to ignore her the next time she starts with this "I miss you" **** and even though I'm weak, if there are sexual advances I will try my best to deflect them.

She had no desire to sit and talk face to face. For some odd reason se just can't.
Ronald Curry

It sucks to see that she won't talk. Like I mentioned earlier, if that's her stance then you have to do what's right for you and head down another path without her.

She's told you that she made a mistake leaving you, and she has come back repeatedly and continues to reach out to you. IMO she's still undecided, and may continue to play with you and the other guy if you allow it.

You're well out of the cuck situation now. Time to man up. When she contacts you again, don't take her calls immediately or reply to texts. Spend your time enjoying your new life, and new babes. Let her know you're not taking any more crap, you're moving on and seeing other women. Make her put out all the effort if she wants to get back together. Once she realizes you're moving on and aren't sucking up to her any longer, don't be surprised if her attitude changes quickly. Good luck.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Thanks palm coast. You've been great through all this. The distance between us is quite great now and there is not only no cuck but she is in full blown relationship mode with this guy. Quite sickening and unhealthy IMO. And I've backed off completely. I'm enjoying my time, friends, dating, and most of a myself.

It was neat to experience this fantasy even for a brief, and out of context, situation.
Lately whenever I do masturbate its no longer to cuckold porn, but more so attractive women and more normal fantasies run through the head. This new chick who I've been talking to and now have seen out a few times, I don't think of cuckold when imagining us having sex, which may happen as early as tomorrow night. She's petite which my ex wasn't, all I want to do is pick her up and fuck her brains out.
Was a fun ride but new chapters await. Hate how I was made to feel by the ex. Much better now.
Ronald Curry

Good man! Enjoy her!

Cheers to you and new beginning!
Win some...
Lose some...
Few are rained out

Ronald Curry:

It's been one hell of a ride for you, but I'm glad to hear you're moving on and can put an end to the drama queen's BS.

Best wishes to you and the new path before you.........
Cuck who loves a creampie.

Thank you all so much.
The ex who has caught whiff of my interest in other women is going ape ****. She now wants to battle through the courts even though we've been amicable and civil. Then sends me a message how how se can't see my face because she can't get over me. That she still in love with me. Which I would not entertain not respond to.
Meanwhile things are heated with the new gal I'm seeing. I'm worried about a potential relationship forming here. She's coming over to the apartment for the first time tonight for dinner and a movie. Well see if the deal is closed, I really do like her but did not see myself finding someone so quickly. How do I slow it down without jeopardizing losing her.
Ronald Curry

Well, just when you think a chapter has closed and life moves on, things get complicated.
First off, I have very much enjoyed my time chasing women. I've enjoyed the hunt and have slept with several women, including one, Allison, that really is just one of the most amazing, not necessarily sexual, she's about average, but in all aspects is exactly what I seek in a partner. We slowed it down a bit, but see each other very often.
So let me get to the kink part. holidays just went on by and nothing has happened since the last update. Until 2 nights ago.
It was the eve of the ex's bday and she said nothing would make her happier than to see me. She asked that while out with her friends, I come pick her up for a *****. Since I was in town anyway, I decided to oblige and atleast see her for an hour. She told me how all she keeps dreaiming of is me and wishes things were back to normal and me being the man and object of her desire. I took her to a bar I know nobody would recolonize us and we locked eyes, talked and kissed. And how we should try an open relationship. She looked at her phone and I saw that she blown up by the guy she's seeing and she didn't even respond. It was soon time to go and on our way out we shared a passionate kiss before I took her back to her friends and went home.
We made plans, well it was her who asked, i cancelled my plans with a slut I was seeing to be there and oblige and honor her birthday wishes....
Ronald Curry

She didn't come over till late but all day we texted back and forth about the idea of the open relationship.
She arrived and I was already laying in bed. Kids at her *******. We held each other until
Thins started getting hot and heavy.
One of the things she asked from me was to be dominant with her. She also asked about swinging and was very interested. She said she's open to allowing me to fuck other women.
We had probably the best sex we had in a while. Very vocal and honest about what we wanted.
Her top fantasy is a 3sum/swinger swap with the other woman. She liked the idea of another woman underneath licking her clit. She even mentioned how she wouldn't mind me fucking the other chick while she licked my ass. I even got her to admit to eating a cream pie from another female. I tucked her hard and rough and focused on her gspot
I told her I'd like to humiliate her and she admitted to wanting to be whipped. I said I have a belt and for her to assume the position. For the next hour i treated her ad a slut. I beat her ass and backside with my belt. I was dominant. I made her thank me for each hit and beg for more, I hit her hard. I can't wait to see the marks I made. I fingered her ass and fucked her ass and made her suck me clean.
I told her to be prepared to be dominated, she mentioned her desire to be used in a gang bang while I have her on a leash.
This entire time were fucking and it was all amazing.
She did bring up her having fun with other men and how she would be sure to have me lick her afterwards. I told her to guage my reaction by my cock now pulsating. She went on how she'll have me watch and not allow me anything unless she is feeling generous. We fucked twice for what seemed like an eternity and didn't hold anything back.
She is coming back over tonight. With an outfit and her whip....
I guess the roller coaster continues.....
Ronald Curry

Good job Ronald
Win some...
Lose some...
Few are rained out

I have much more to update. But it's late night and she's on her way over to fuck now.
I will also have some pics up soon. Stay tuned.
Ronald Curry

Can't wait!

Wow... I don't know what to think. I see potential for a lot of hot times... but at the same time, that woman comes across as being totally confused about what she really wants. If I were in your shoes my biggest concern would be that she's doing all of this to get you back, after going crazy once she discovered you were seeing other women.

If that's the case, once she gets you back there's the risk that her new-found sluttiness will disappear and she will go back to the way she was (which wasn't healthy for you).
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Palm coast - it's simply amazing how you can foresee that. Our mindset is very similar and logic parallel. She surely has jealous feelings. Since the breakup or lost almost 30 lbs and replaced it with leanness and muscle. Also, you are correct. The whiff of another female on me has had her on edge. There has been ern pressure on her part and ill get into that shortly. As a reminder this is all truth. I'm seeking to share my experiences here and hope in return to get perspective.
I am on edge as today is probably the granddaddy of all cuckold activity. But before we get here allow me to share a few stories and events of the last week.
Ronald Curry

With one of her lovers
Ronald Curry

The first pic she's sent with another guys cock inside of her
Ronald Curry

Hope you enjoyed.
Anyway, lets touch on a negative aspect for a moment. It was her birthday last week. She pretty much seems very emotional. Jong me she feels horrible about what happened, how she wishes she took it back and wants things back to normal. She knows of my one night stand and that I'm dating someone. She says it kills her that I'm getting close to someone. Which is not the case. We date and do fuck but its like the most perfect woman, she does not want anything serious. For example last week we just played tennis, she made me dinner after, we smoked and that was it. It's like having a female friend you ***** with. Quite frankly it's refreshing. Of course she is likely dating others but we don't discuss that. Nor have i told my ex of these details except that we're friends.

I was to pick up the ex at a bar after she hung out with her girlfriend. I did arrive late and my wife being tipsy already if not completely *****, commented. Then told me one of the bartenders gave her his phone number. We playfully chatted but as she's done in the past, a switch flips inside her. She started saying things like I have to "end it with her" and just not being the remorseful woman trying her hardest. I immediately paid the tab and said ill just take her home. In the car ride, it was like back to old times, I'm dealing with an *********. As my exit approached, she pleased we should go to my place. Me being horny and atleast being open decided to head to my place.
Ronald Curry

This was a night that reiterated my thoughts. With this person there doesn't seem to be a way to make something happen that involves so much. Here she is telling me one night it's okay and days later acting ***** that I must end it. She got into a dominant mood. She told me that before I even picked her up. Probably after he had a few that "tonight you're going to get it" I got a pretty good beating that night. We kid of got back to her being dominant routine. Me spending lengths of time licking her ass. We fucked. When we did she made known of how it's going to be. She seems to want the hot wife deal. Even mentioned that I'd be her top priority and that she knows now how the other aspect outside the home was to be just sex. Yet her actions an emotions of the previous evening until she began to sober up as I told her how it's going to be, turned me off.
Sure ill be getting some hot shared pussy but I also saw once again the person who made me miserable and may just be unfixable and as palm coast said, just acting on emotion.
Ronald Curry

This past week has pretty much been lots of texts throughout the day until she stops for a while. Pretty much she fucks him during the mornings or afternoons and comes home to me after her shift in the evening. I think we've spent 4 or 5 nights like that this week. Each time we talk more an more about what may happen. She tells me if she's been naughty but sometimes just the feel of her pussy or the hickory he leaves on her tell the story.
I'm going to need to Dom her like i did that first night.

Today she is fucking with me. Monday we were both off and going to have a date night. She was to come spend the night tonight and I was to watch the kids during the day so she can spend the day fucking her lover. Then of drop the kids off to the sitter and come home to her used up and to fool around before I took her out.
Now I had her yesterday morning as she spent the night here Friday. But we barely spoke Saturday. I woke up at 242am to 2 pics which I will later post. Her entire chest and shoulder area filled with hickies. We didn't speak much until she wrote "sorry I was being naughty all night, morning and afternoon." Also mentioned that her ass was sore. After probing for more info she fucked w new guy last night. Condoms she assured. But that he see clingy, did not make her cum. And this morning and afternoon she had her regular lover over.
Tonight she says she wants to fool around with a stranger. And has a guy lined up. Reminded her that unthought she was to come be with me which she is now noncommittal or saying it will be superlate. That's where we are at this very moment. She's working till 10 and well see how the night goes. I'll post more detailed sexual encounters. I'm not the best of writers but will try. My angst is killing me. And she seems in full throttle mode. She told me she has the same pair of panties on from last night and today and how she wants me to lick them clean. Well see how this all goes.
Again, I'm just enjoying the ride. Really checking emotions at the door although I found myself annoyed that after being committal about tonight. She no longer is. I found in our text exchange that i asked like 3'times.
Anyway well see how tonight goes and I will keep you posted
Ronald Curry

Not sure but seems like she is ditching me to be with her lover. I'm not going to be linked though. Was suppose to take her to dinner tomorrow, well scratch that. Probably will piss her off and honestly I don't care to play games but I do enjoy my new lifestyle of multiple women too.
Anyway enjoy another
Ronald Curry