Conversation with wife. I've been lurking here for a time

I've been lurking here for a time, while I tried to convince my wife to enjoy fucking whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted. It took a long time, but I'll save that story for later. About 6 months ago she found a guy and ended up keeping him as her regular boyfriend, and it's gotten progressively more intense. I just wanted to post a short summary of a really hot conversation we had last night.

The background is that they've been seeing each other for a few months now, and are seeing each other gradually more and more often. It started with a date a week or so, now it's up to two or three. And they've seen each other four times in the last four days. She told me at the beginning of their relationship that he was bigger, which was nice, but that my s*******s in bed were a bit better, so she liked having sex with us both.

Last night she asked if I could stay late at work so he could come over; she said she'd text me when they were done. I was at work (not getting much done, lol), and she texted me around 10 pm. I came home and she was just sitting on the couch, smiling and looking completely satisfied. She told me that lately he'd been getting much better and that sex with him was now "unbelievable." She said that he fucked her for 45 minutes, that she came 3 times, and the last one was a triple orgasm. She led me back to the bedroom and showed me that the bed was moved away from the wall about 5 feet, and was completely messed up from the sex. She laid down on the bed ("because I'm not sure I can stand straight right now") while I moved it back, all the while talking about how she's never felt this good in her whole life. And then she said "I know it's been a while for you"...(in fact, it's been three weeks since she fucked me, whereas she fucks him at least twice a week)..."and i know we were going to have sex tomorrow, but can i see him again? he gets off work early again and now that i know how amazing sex can be i feel like if i don't have it all the time i'll die." i told her that of course she could see him again, i wanted her to be satisfied, and that by the way if she ever can't see him, she can always have me. she looked over at me with a mixture of amusement and pity in her eyes and said "honey. i love you. i'm even in love with you. and i used to enjoy sex with you. if he dumps me i'll probably enjoy sex with you again, at least a bit. but fucking you when i had him the day before and will have him again the day after is so...uninspiring."

I said I knew and understood, and she leaned back and her eyes got all unfocused again. "Good. It's not that you're bad or that I don't love you. It's just that he's...(she whispered this) soooo magnificent...in bed." We went to bed, and all I could think about all night was my wife with her "magnificent" boyfriend...being fucked after just a few months like I've never been able to fuck her in our years together.

Sorry this was long; I just had to share.

That is an awesome story. So what is your plan going forward. Have you and your wife talked about this in detail? Is she going to start being more active and systematic in denying you access? Is that something you want? Do you have the typical creampie eating and chastity fantasies that others on this site have? I think you have many options for an exciting cuckold relationship in the future. Would love to hear more as things move forward. Please share how you got to this point. How did you convince her to cuckold you? I may be able to use your experience to convince my own wife. I am getting very close to having some conversations about bringing another man into our bedroom for an MFM (to start) and eventual cuckolding.

WOW his is VERY hot...

Thanks for the feedback (and the affirmation that it is, indeed, a hot story). Right now, my plan for the future is mostly just to support and encourage her, and make sure she always knows that her pleasure comes first, no matter what. My wife and I are always talking about what we both want from our relationship.

My desires are, I suppose, pretty moderate. I definitely want to remain in her life, and to be her romantic priority. I don't think that's a problem, as we're both very open with each other, and are much closer emotionally and romantically than we were even before this 'experimentation' started. Ideally, I like a little moderate denial and moderate offense. I love it that her boyfriend gets to relax with her far more frequently than I do (and I've calculated that she's sucked his cock more in the few months they've been together than she has mine in the years we've been married). I love how intense our relationship gets, and how much I pamper her, when I'm horny and frustrated and denied for a while. I love it when we go most of the week without sex, as she tells me "I don't feel like it right now, maybe tomorrow" and then when her date night comes she spends hours getting ready, totally excited to see him. And I like a little penis offense, so any time she casually mentions his larger size, or just how much she likes his cock (recently she told me that "it's not just that it's big, it's also just shaped perfectly, like it was made just for my pussy...it hits every sensitive spot like I've never felt before") it drives me wild. I don't know if I'd want to be cut off completely or not, but I definitely want him to be her first sexual priority. And I think I would like for her to be more active and systematic about it...for her not just to neglect sex with me, but to actually deny it to me for a while, and to let him know that at least for the most part he is her man in bed.

She was initially reluctant to humiliate me like that, to the point of not telling me how big he was for a while for fear of hurting my feelings. However, when she does bring it up I make sure to not act hurt, but rather to act happy for her that she has this great pleasure, and also to compare myself to him as much as possible, in the areas where he's got the advantage over me. I think this is working; the last time we fucked a few weeks ago, it actually began with her making a crack about my cock size, and with me joking about how she doesn't need to worry about it anymore, with her boyfriend taking care of her. This led to her getting curious about the actual difference (he had measured his, but I never had). So she went down on me to get me hard (something she hadn't done in quite a while) and then measured my cock. She could tell I was horny, so she rode me until I came, and then pecked me on the cheek and rolled off. While I caught my breath and threw out the condom, she called her boyfriend and gave him the official measurement, b/c I guess she thought he'd like to know. It was a bit humiliating, but completely hot. I hope this sort of thing continues. As for the other stuff, I actually am not really into creampie/cleaning, or anything like that. I'm not sure how I feel about watching, and definitely don't want to participate. Some of these things can evolve with time, but right now I just want her totally fulfilled by him in a way that I cannot give her.

It's already been another long post. Hopefully as I post updates they'll get a bit shorter; I'd like to keep them coming as long as good stuff keeps happening. I guess next I'll let you know how we got to this point, iwmwtcm...and if anyone else has any questions, I'm happy to answer. Thanks for taking an interest in my situation!

Hey tjm65, this is lil_dick_cuck's hot wife and key holder. I love hearing this story you shared! I know just how your wife felt about the reluctance to humiliate. I was the same way. When you love someone as much as she must love you, you want what is best, and being mean to them can feel so counter-intuitive. It took me ages, many emails, text messages, long discussions, and lots of "honey I promise I like this...see look at the little guy" from my lil cucky boy before I would say mean things. Keep showing her how much you love it, she will learn to love it just as much.

I'm so excited for you two. Now hopefully I can find a steady fuck that is 'magnificent' as well! Wish me luck! ;)

tjm65,

Great posts and THANK YOU. Its a long strange trip and we started out somewhat similar. Its been 9 years later and things are great.

Good Luck and Keep posting please.

TGIF

good luck, lil_dick_cuck's wife, and thanks for the feedback from Mike W and iwmwtcm and 3454.

my wife is with her bf right now. he had to work a little bit late tonight, so he didn't come pick her up until around 8. since she was ready for him around 6, we sat around and watched tv until he was done. i was horny (helping her pick out sexy clothes always gets me aroused) and tried to see if she'd fuck me before her date, but she just giggled and said that she was planning to spend the night with him and didn't want to ruin the evening. this is the first time she's planning on spending the night at his place, and i'm looking forward to waking up alone tomorrow morning, or waking up to her coming home in the morning. i told her i'd love her to stay with him, i know they're connecting well and i know she loves morning sex the most with me; i hope it blows her mind with him.

another sexy thing: after the last time they were together (at our place) i asked if maybe the sex was better since it was here, in our bed. she said "no, the sex is always amazing, no matter where it is"...and then proceeded to tell me all the places he fucked her, including his car, our car, the park, our apartment, his apartment, and his friend's apartment. but she said she liked fucking at our place because she knew she could be as loud as she wanted.

even though she turned me down for the last three nights in a row, she's totally excited about having sex with him tonight, despite the fact that this week and especially today was really tiring for her. i helped her get ready, she's wearing a sexy matching pink lingerie set that she bought just for him (i haven't seen her in it except to get ready for him), a cute skirt, heels, and a sexy blouse. she's all dressed up in makeup, nice hairstyle, and her best jewelry that i bought her for our anniversary.

it seems like a long time since she's been with him, even though they saw each other for four days in a row at the beginning of the week. i think we're both just realizing that she needs a good fuck most days, and when she doesn't get it for most of the week she craves it. i won't be surprised if she starts to stay over at his place for about half the nights of the week. she's definitely happier and more relaxed on the day after her dates. i'll pass on what she has to say about her date tonight, as well as tell you how this all started, over the weekend. good luck, everyone!

p.s. one more sexy thing: while i was looking through her drawer for the lingerie she wanted to wear tonight, she came in and pulled open a different drawer to get a condom. she pulled one out, and then seemed to think about it for a minute...and then pulled out four more! i asked if she was going to use them all, and she giggled and said "maybe not, but a girl can be optimistic, right? and it wouldn't be unprecedented, anyway." i must have looked surprised, because then she said "you know, some guys can get it up more than once a month or so"...which hurt a bit, because she knew i'd been horny for a while, but was also just humiliating enough to be extremely sexy.

Hi TJM,

You're all in the middle of it, I'm jealous!

Looks to me you're not going to have any pussy for a while. What do you think she'll say when you ask her if she wants to save her pussy just for him?

Exactly how much bigger is his cock?

Keep us updated and enjoy the ride!

Nedcuck, thanks. It has actually happened relatively quickly; for the longest time I was really jealous of everyone else's stories...now I just can't believe it's finally happening to me!

I think you're right that I probably won't get to relax with her for a while. I'm not sure if she'd be comfortable totally cutting me off, though. One of the main reamisters that she agreed to start this at first was because I said that I knew her sex drive was higher than me, and so she could find someone to satisfy her when I wasn't up to it, but that she could still have me when I was. So I'm afraid if I bring up the idea of cutting me off totally, she'll feel like I'm trying to back away from her. Also, just as a bit of a selfish motive, she's a great fuck and as hot as the idea is that she would reserve her pussy solely for her boyfriend, I am not sure I want to totally cut myself off, which is what I fear would happen if I brought up the idea. On the other hand, it's been so long now that I'm practically cut off anyway, and my last few efforts to initiate sex have been (mostly kindly) rejected. So maybe all that's left is to formalize what's already happening.

One part of this, too, is that she might be reluctant to admit to me (or even to herself) that her boyfriend is much better in bed than I am--which she would pretty much have to admit if she told me she only wanted to have sex with him. He's significantly bigger (I'm about 4.5", he's almost 8"), has a higher sex drive (he can go at least twice a night while I'm pushing it to try twice a week), and more stamina. It's really rare for him to last under 30 minutes of fucking before he cums, and from what she tells me he usually can fuck her for about 45 minutes. This seemed to upset her at first...she was worried she wasn't good in bed, which was the reamister he didn't cum in the first couple of minutes like I did. Plus, it made her pretty sore at first. But over the last couple of months she's stopped complaining about that, lol.

Not too much to report lately. She got back from her date with him on Friday night a little earlier than expected (around 3 am, which is a couple of hours before she usually gets in...plus, I was hoping she'd spend the night). She still had a great time (probably the best sex yet, she said) but he was tired from working all day and she knew if she stayed neither of them would get any relax. So she came home.

She was glowing when she got home, and still amazingly happy when she woke up. We had a busy day of lots of chores and errands, and as the day wore on she started to get sort of cranky and uptight. It could have been just that she was tired, but i think she's getting to the point where she needs sex with him more and more...i wouldn't be surprised if she started meeting him even more often. she called and asked if she could see him today...didn't want to wait until monday when their next date was scheduled.

So, she'll be going out with him around noon today "for lunch". Last time she went out "for lunch" on a weekend she didn't get back until around 9 pm; hopefully she'll have a good time again today!

Wow. This is very hot! Please continue.

WOW so hot this is thanks for keeping us updated
let me know what you think of my small cock send message on this please

I have to agree. This IS very hot. I also agree that you shouldnt talk to your wife about cutting off access to her pussy just yet. Wait and see if the trend of denying you continues. If it does, then I think you owe it to the both of you to talk about it. I think it could be highly erotic for the both of you to do it although I would be worried about what the lack of intamacy would do to your marriage. You will need to replace intercourse with other sexual activities such as hand jobs, massages, and other things. Im sure together you could come up with some ideas. Talk a lot and always express your love and commitment to her happiness. Make it integral tp your marriage, not something she does outside of the marriage.

Good luck and have fun.

iwmwtcm, good advice. I think I'll wait and see what happens, and just keep the communication open with her. I'm not very worried about the loss of intimacy between us; I give her lots of massages, we cuddle all the time, and I'm still far better at giving her oral than he is. On an emotional level, we're closer and far more intimate than we've ever been; she has come to feel comfortable talking to me about literally everything. I know there's a risk if she starts to associate sexual pleasure with only him, instead of me or both of us, but I'm as confident as anyone can be that this situation will improve, rather than erode, our intimacy and our relationship.

I realize I'm giving more small updates all the time, but I guess that's good...it means this is progressing really well. She went over to his place around 12 pm yesterday, and came back around 7. They didn't really have a date scheduled (she's got one with him tonight) but she didn't want to wait that long. When she left she said she was pretty tired and just wanted to hang out for a bit, but apparently when she's with him she finds it really hard to restrain herself. She told me afterwards that they were just hanging out watching a movie and talking at first, but that she had this really strong desire to suck his cock. She does that on most of their dates, but she wanted to give him something special this time, so--she was blushing when she told me this--instead of just sucking him to completion like usual, she put on his favorite music and basically worshipped his cock for almost three hours, slowly and sensually, until she finally worked him up to orgasm. Then they just lay there for a while, and they both sort of drifted off into a relax, him sitting on the couch, and her curled up in his lap nuzzling his cock. She giggled and blushed a bit when she told me this...I guess they were both a little embarrassed to fall arelax that way. Still, she said it was amazing, and she was also really proud because he told her that her usual blowjobs are the best he's ever had, and this one was earthshattering.

She called me when she was on her way home, so I had dinner ready when she got back. We ate and then I gave her a massage; then we went to bed and cuddled and talked until we fell arelax. Right before relax, she turned around and started rubbing my body, and sighed happily when she found my erection with her hand. It didn't go much further, mostly because she fell arelax and sort of rolled back over, but that was the first time in a while she's actually seemed excited by it, which was kind of cool. So I guess I have no idea at this point where I stand with her sexually. I'll see where it goes, and talk to her about it when the moment arises. She is so happy to have both me and him, and it makes me amazingly happy to see her so content. she's got another date with him tonight, but she's got a lot of work so she won't have as much time with him as usual...they'll probably just hang out or go to dinner or something. As always, I'll keep you all updated if anything new or exciting happens.

My wife is out on another date tonight. I won't know anything until she comes home exactly, but she called me right before they went out. I guess a friend of hers and her bf called her to ask if she and I wanted to go out to dinner with them, and she said that she had a date tonight (she tells most of her good friends about us). So, long story short, she's out with her boyfriend and her friend and her friends' boyfriend on a double date...the first time they've met him. It's fine with me, because they already knew and they're more her friends than mine. However, they still hang out with both of us, and I guess it's a little weird for her to be seeing them with him instead of me. I'll just have to ask her how it went...maybe they'll like him better than me, who knows?

I think she's really looking forward to the sex after the date. I bought her a lingerie set the other day that he hasn't seen on her yet, he likes variety and it looks great on her. It's really hot that I'm buying this lingerie for her that I only get to see when she dresses up for her dates with him.

I think it's awesome that she's dating another man and her friends know all about it.

I envy you the freedom! I wish we were in a position to have our friends know about my wife's boyfriend, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon.

I suppose it's time for another update on how things are progressing. My wife (I guess using names would make things easier...her name's Becky)and her boyfriend (Tom) had a great time on their double date with her friend and her bf (I guess ten days ago now...how time flies!). They got along really well, and had another double date on Thursday; I guess they intend to do it pretty regularly. It seems like this friend at least, who is pretty much Becky's best friend, already likes him more than she ever liked me. She was over a couple of days ago to visit, and they just hung out and chatted about their boyfriends the whole time. I was working in the den, and the only time I heard my name mentioned is when they were talking about who was better in bed. My wife's friend (Jessica)actually brought it up, so my wife must have told her about it even before this. When Jessica went to leave, she said that she was really looking forward to seeing her and Tom again, and just waved at me quickly before going out the door.

I work pretty long hours, and this is especially the case on Mondays. Last Monday, they both had off so they spent pretty much the whole day in bed in our apartment. When I got home, he was just leaving and she was putting on pajamas. She said that they had had an amazing day, basically spending the whole time slowly making love and that both the lovemaking and the climax were unlike anything she had ever felt in her life. I've always wanted to go slowly like that, and to be really intimate, but even when I try to go slow I just can't last that long. I can't argue with his results though, one of the main reamisters I wanted to do this is because I want her to be satisfied, and this is definitely the best sex she's ever had. Next Monday they don't have off, but I'm staying late so that he can come to our place for a bit. She wants to do something really nice for him to thank him for last Monday, so she's going to cook him his favorite dinner, serve it to him in just brand new lingerie and heels, and then let him request literally anything he wants from her sexually. I guess we'll see what that is; maybe I'll have more to report after Monday.

We did have the talk about what sort of relationship ours will be now and in the future. She does not want to stop having sex with me; while she doesn't get much out of it anymore in the way of pleasure, she still finds joy in the closeness and intimacy that sex provides for us, and we're still very close and in love. We've decided that when it comes to the two of us, we're still married and will still have sex (although, she admitted, not nearly as much...she said "I need good sex all the time, I only need sexual intimacy with you now and then"). However, when it comes to her relationship with Tom, my role will be as her best friend and roommate. So she'll have him over pretty frequently, and I'll give them privacy in the apartment as often as it's reamisterable...as often as I'd give a roommate the same courtesy. This is important to her, because she wants to be able to cuddle with him and kiss him in my presence without worrying about either of us being weirded out, and thinking of me as her roommate in those situations makes that easier.

I can't think of much more to report. She's going on a girl's night with most of her friends tonight. Most of them know, but only Jessica's met Tom so far...maybe that will start to change soon. I'll keep you updated.

i can't wait for the update.
tony

Monday went really well...amazingly well, actually. I worked until nine, and got home around ten pm. When I came in she was in her pajamas and they were cuddled up on the couch; I hung out with them for a bit and then went to bed because I was pretty beat. She came to bed about an hour later and told me about the day. She cooked him a big fancy dinner, and met him at the door dressed up. She'd bought a sexy new dress a few days ago for a work function that I'm taking her to next week; I've only seen her in it once when she tried it on at the store. She wore that dress with strappy heels, her hair up, her makeup done, her best pearls, and really dirty lingerie underneath that she bought on her way home from work just for that day. She's sooo sexy dressed up like that...I would have loved to have seen her!

Anyway, they ate and then had dessert ;). Apparently she couldn't wait to start sucking his cock, so she only ate a little bit of dinner and then started sucking him while he finished his. (I don't know how he could eat in the meantime, but I can't deny it's hot to think of her needing it that bad, and him just going about his business while she pleasures him.) Then they went to the bedroom and fucked (according to her, hard, fast, for a long time, and really really well). Afterwards they just laid in bed and cuddled for a bit, then took a shower together; apparently he liked her washing off his cock so they fucked again in the shower. She said she was amazed that he was still hard after cumming twice in that short period of time, so she sucked him off again. Then they got dressed, him in his clothes and her in pajamas, and just went and hung out on the couch, talking and making out until I got home.

She told me that they had talked about our situation...he is still a little unsure about the whole situation, where I stand, etc. She told him to think of me as nothing more than her friend and roommate, and now when they talk about me they refer to me as her roommate. When I was hanging out with them before going to bed, she was sitting on his lap and he had no problem kissing her in front of me, so I think it's working. She also told him a lot about me to make him feel more comfortable, since one of the things he was worried about was that I knew all about him (from being her best friend and talking to her) and he knew very little about me...he already knew he was better endowed than I but she told him again, told him how much she loved his cock, how much better in bed he was than I, that she fucked him way more than me, and then threw me a bone by mentioning that I was a better kisser, lol. I think he figured he won that comparimister, and so he's a lot more confident lately.

They're really great together, and are really clicking as a couple, and she's happier than ever--which makes me happy too. Things seem to have settled into some sort of a pattern: Mondays and Fridays I work late, so he comes to our place for a few hours after they get back from work; Wednesday nights and most of the day either Saturday or Sunday she goes to his place. Once every week or two, on Wednesday or Thursday, Becky and Tom go on double dates with Jessica and Eric. The rest of the time is normal married life, hanging out at home, going on dates, etc. All in all, we're doing really well, and things are progressing smoothly. I might have a bit less to update on if there aren't many developments, but I'll keep posting on anything she tells me or anything I know about how our life is going! Oh--and I'm sure my work party will be very interesting, knowing that the first time my wife wore her dress it was for him (as well as knowing that I almost certainly won't get any after seeing her in it for the entire evening!).

I think this post will be a bit different from most: this one is about my wife having sex with *me*. It still follows the same theme, however--you'll see what I mean.

Last night we were just hanging out on the couch, and she was being especially flirty...licking and sucking my fingers, rubbing my crotch, and the like. She's really sexual and enjoys doing that sort of thing, and if she gets me aroused but isn't really in the mood for sex she notices and apologizes, makes sure that I know it won't lead anywhere, and we go back to cuddling. Last night, however, for one reamister or another I was extra horny (maybe just because it had been so long since she fucked me). So as she flirted with me, I kept trying to initiate sex...kissing back, pulling off clothes, etc. Eventually she got up, looked back at me with this strange look, and walked toward the bedroom. I was thrilled; we were going to have sex! I followed her, found her lying on her back on the bed, and started to shed clothes and make out with her.

I immediately knew something was wrong. As we made out, she was making a lot of noises that did not sound natural...that sounded excessive, powerd. She never fakes, so I knew a fake when I heard it. I stopped and said "you're not into this, are you?" and she replied that no, she just wasn't at all horny, but that she knew I was and needed it bad. I told her I could go masturbate, but she winked and said "you know I'm much better at getting you off than you are." I agreed, got a condom, and climbed on top of her.

One problem with having sex with someone who's just not that into it is that they're in a strange mindset. It had been a long time since I'd fucked her, so the movements weren't quite as familiar as they used to be. I kept missing her pussy ("too high, too high" she'd say, and then start to giggle). Finally I was in her, and she did stop giggling (thankfully) but still did not seem to be enjoying it. Luckily (for her mostly, I think) it didn't last long. I came, she asked if I felt better, I said yes, and she kissed my forehead and said "then it was worth it."

I think this indicates that we're at a point where, at least for the most part, my wife doesn't see me as sexually enjoyable anymore. She likes flirting, and being intimate, and being in love with me, but I'm just not enough to please her in bed. While I feel a bit bad about this permisterally, at this point I'm excited, and glad, that she's found someone who she does find enjoyable.

By the way, could you fill us in on the background here? I'm always interested in hearing about how couples decide what their arrangements are going to be. I'm especially interested in your history, since your wife has a steady boyfriend with your consent. Any info appreciated.

I think its important to keep up the intimacy with your wife. It is interesting that she has now got the point that she really doesnt enjoy the sex aspect with you but still realizes that it is important enough for your relationship to "suffer" through it. Maybe the two of you can compromise. Sexual intimacy doesnt have to involve intercourse. Maybe she can jack you off more often or maybe you can use a large dildo on her. Denial of sex, in itself, will lead to lack of communication and distance. Erotic denial of sex can lead to greater communication and a deeper connection.

Great post. Great thread. I'm going through much the same and would love to see how you and your wife are doing. Please keep 'em coming...

Thanks for the feedback, everybody. iwmwtcm, I think you're absolutely right. I don't want to lose the intimacy, and lately we've been doing a lot more cuddling, and I've been giving her a lot of massages and stuff. I do still go down on her, but I'll talk to her about some other options. I don't want her to have to "suffer through" fucking me if she doesn't like it, but I have to admit I hadn't really thought of it in quite that way, and the idea is both hot and humiliating.

rdvrk, I'll do my best. It's a long story of how we got to where we are, so I might have to do it in installments...but for now, unless new developments happen, their relationship is pretty stable so I guess it's as good a time as any. I'll try to remember back that far (lol):

We started dating in college. I had only had two other girlfriends, and the extent of my sexual experience at that time was going down on (and once getting a handjob from) one of them. Becky, on the other hand, had lost her virginity in high school and had been with quite a few guys before meeting me. We met in a class, and started out as friends, but as time went on we got closer and started flirting, and then dating. She was (and still is) ideal for me...fun, flirty, sexual, smart, everything I could ask for. I had always been attracted to women who were bold and sexual, even with my limited experience, and she certainly fit the bill; I'd be lying if I said that her somewhat promiscuous ways didn't turn me on. After a few months of dating, we slept together for the first time, and it was amazing. However, that year I graduated and moved to another state for a job; she had one more year of college and so we had a period of a long-distance relationship.

We stayed together over that year, but it was hard. We saw each other rarely (every couple of months) but talked all the time. Over the first few months she gradually started to mention a guy that she said she was becoming really good friends with, and would casually mention that he was really attractive ("but not to me, honey!") and that all of her friends wanted him and were jealous that he was her friend. As they clearly got closer and closer, I became worried; I knew that she was very sexual, and I knew that, despite what she said, she thought he was hot. However, at the same time I started to get really turned on by the idea of her fucking him, and would often daydream about it. Nevertheless, over that year we got further and further apart (mostly due to the distance), and while we never broke up entirely, there were some rough patches. Luckily she graduated and moved to be with me, and our relationship recovered very quickly. After a few months, I asked her to marry me and she said yes.

A few months after that, she sat me down and said she had to tell me something. I was worried, and sure enough she told me what I had feared: she had slept with her friend in college. She cried as she told me this, begging me not to be upset, and while I was a bit, I was also remarkably aroused. She told me what happened...it was just once, one night, after we had had a fight over the phone. She said it wasn't good, she regretted it immediately, and wanted to tell me before the wedding so that there were no secrets or deception between us. I hugged her and forgave her, and we were fine again--but I couldn't shake the feeling of how excited I had been even as I was emotionally destroyed by her cheating, and how my mind often drifted to the thought of him and her making love. Still, I didn't know how she would react to this, so I kept it inside until well after the wedding.

At one point, maybe a year or so after we got married, we were talking and the discussion came around to what we then called her "college indiscretion." She again apologized and said she still felt terrible, and I took the opportunity to open the door on the topic again. I told her not to feel terrible, that I loved her in part because she was a very sexually open woman, and that it wasn't fair for that part of her to be shut down that much. I also admitted that the idea of her fucking other guys turned me on a bit, and nervously mentioned that it wouldn't upset me if she wanted to explore such a lifestyle even as we're married. She was initially confused, and said that she loved me and that I was enough for her, but didn't get upset and didn't shut the idea down outright. This was the first time I brought it up, but between the two of us we raised it a few more times during that year. I didn't push the idea, I just raised it gently and allowed her to think about it over a long period of time. Eventually, she realized that I wouldn't be upset and that I wasn't trying to make an excuse to cheat, and decided that maybe she'd try it. At this stage, we had talked about it quite a bit, and were both clearly turned on by the idea of her fucking other guys. She set up an account at an adult meetup site, and started looking for guys!

(This is a long story, so this is the first part. I'll continue it soon, and I'm also perfectly willing to answer any specific questions anyone might have along the way about things I'm skipping over quickly. Thanks for reading, as always!)

Her first date went pretty well, and it was exhilarating for me. She found a guy on the website, they chatted for a few days, and then she went out to dinner with him. It was an amazingly arousing (and suspenseful) evening while I wondered how everything was going. But eventually she came home, her hair mussed and a smile on her face. The sex was just OK, but she loved the fact that it was with someone new. I had been worried, knowing that this first time might determine whether she ever did this again, so I was relieved that she had a good time.

It wasn't quite that easy, though. Becky tended to go through phases. She'd find and fuck a few guys, and then decide that the sex wasn't that great, she was spending too much time looking for guys, and that it was more trouble to see other guys than it was worth. So, she'd stop for long periods of time...months, sometimes almost a year. Eventually she'd get horny again, and want to experiment with it again, so she'd find another website, set up a new account, and try it again. It kept up this way for quite a while, until eventually she told me that she just wasn't getting much out of the sex...it was meaningless without some sort of emotion behind it, and for every guy who was good in bed there were five that were terrible. I thought she was going to quit again, but instead she surprised me--she asked how I would feel about her getting a boyfriend, instead of just a one-night stand.

I could tell she was a little worried that I would be upset, but I wasn't. Honestly, the idea turned me on...someone that she could trust, have feelings for, and that she could be sure would be good in bed time after time. I said to go for it, and she started looking with a new mission--to find a boyfriend. She looked online mostly, but ended up meeting him at a concert. Becky and Jessica went to a concert at a small venue, and Tom was in the band. After a set Becky and Jessica bought the band a round of takes, and got invited to sit with a couple of the band members for a little while. They flirted, and Becky gave Tom her number. He called her a few days later and they started dating.

They started off slow, to be honest. Just going out to eat, to see a movie, get takes, and a bit of making out for the first couple of weeks. He had just ended a longterm relationship, so he wasn't ready to start being intimate right away. He was ok with receiving blowjobs, though, so after a week or so she started going down on him on most dates. It started out as a way to be sexual with him before he was ready for sex, but as time went on she began to like it more and more (she had always been pretty ambivalent about sucking cock; she'd do it, but just to please the guy...now she was beginning to love it). Finally, after about a month of that, they had sex for the first time. After that, the relationship really started to become serious. They saw each other more and more (went from about one date a week to three or four) and now can hardly get enough of each other.

So that's where we are now. I'll keep posting updates as they happen, and I'll answer any questions about our path or situation that anyone asks. Thanks for bearing with me, and stay posted!

tjm, great thread. How is it going with your wife and her new bf? My wife has been with five guys over the last year, and has told me the same thing; that she wants a long-term relationship with her next lover (or one of the two she has now would be good, too). I'm a little nervous, but I would never discourage her from having that close relationship, but I do worry about her falling in love with a long-term boyfriend. Let us know how it goes.

tjm, I just wanted to tell you how much I have enjoyed reading the messages, and to encourage you. I think you have shown a lot of maturity (and patience) through all this, something that many people on this site could benefit from.

Myself included, at times.

Herz4fun, thanks for reading. I was also initially worried when she said she would rather have a boyfriend with an emotional connection than just random lovers that she found online. Partially it was because I thought it was hot for her to be sort of promiscuous like that, but mostly because I shared your concern about her falling in love. However, I know her very well, and know that while she might well fall for him (in fact, feelings are precisely the goal...part of the goal, anyway) that she could cope with being in love with two people. My only rule, to which she agreed wholeheartedly, was that our marriage always came first, and that if anything threatened that we would stop it, no matter how attached she was to the other guy. Additionally, we agreed to be totally open with each other about our feelings at all times, so that there were no secrets. That has tended to work out really well for us. She has a very close relationship with her boyfriend (more on that later) and I really don't feel threatened by her love for him--I know her love for me is enduring no matter what. Plus, the benefits of being with a steady lover (emotional closeness, consistently great sex, less stress and worry about every new guy, having to waste time finding good candidates, etc) have proven to be excellent...I would not ever want to go back to her fucking random men.

bpop, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm not sure if you think I'm patient because I put up with this lifestyle or because it took so long to get here...Honestly, the lifestyle doesn't bother me. I know it seems like I might be "suffering through it" for her, but it is really arousing to me, denial, offense, and all. If you mean that I was patient to get to this point, I'll agree. It took a long time, with lots of fits and starts, but it's totally worth it. Even now, the most difficult part is when she has second thoughts. As much as she likes--even loves--Tom, sometimes she wonders if it's all worth it, and I have to keep encouraging her, and reminding her how she feels about him when she's not in those moods. That's the part that takes the most patience, I think.

We just went through one of those situations. Becky started to get really upset because she has definitely fallen in love with Tom, and while she's told him how she feels, he has been pretty quiet on the matter. I keep reminding her that it's clear that he has feelings for her too, he's just not comfortable sharing them as much as she is, but it's still upsetting for her. I just hope that over time she realizes this, (or he tells her a little more about how he feels about her) otherwise it's entirely possible that she'll be looking for a new boyfriend. I would hate for that to happen here, because she's clearly happy with him and him with her.

Other than that, things are going really well. She's out "to lunch" with him again today. It was a familiar, but arousing, pattern. We woke up, and I tried to initiate sex, but she wasn't interested. So I cooked breakfast, and tried again, but to no avail. Fifteen minutes later, he calls and asks what she's up to today, and she jumps up, changes into some sexy lingerie, and starts doing her hair and makeup in anticipation of hanging out with him.

They're also planning the first relaxover...I'm going to stay with friends Friday night, and she'll have him over at our place from Friday afternoon until some unspecified time on Saturday...I guess whenever they're done. Hopefully I'll have more information on that soon, but that's pretty much where we are at this point.

Great thread. Love reading about your experience and daydream of it happening to me and my wife someday. Great to hear about a couple who can enjoy the lifestyle while keeping the marriage at the forefront. Your lifestyle is similar to the one I want.

tjm, what I was referring to regarding patience was two things:

The first one, as you correctly identified, is for how long it took you to get to where you are with her.

The second one is for how you handle when she's going through this extended period of not enjoying sex with you.

I also appreciate her thoughts on wanting to take care of you sexually, even when she's not sexually turned on. That suggests a level of maturity and commitment on her part that's refreshing.

There have been a lot of what I think are positive developments since the last time I posted. First, after a few days of not knowing whether she wanted to stay with her boyfriend or not, she finally sat down with him and had a long conversation, and decided that he does have feelings for her, and that she doesn’t want to be without him right now. So after about a week or so of worrying that maybe she’d dump him (and possibly the entire lifestyle), she’s back with him and happier than ever. She wanted some time alone with him tonight; because of busy work schedules for both of them they haven’t really seen each other very much for the past couple of weeks. I’m staying late at work, and he’s coming over to our apartment. As always, she’ll text me when she’s done and I’ll come home; if the past is any indication it’ll be about four or five hours after the end of the workday.

The other development happened last night. We were cuddling on the couch, and she asked me to rub her back a bit because it was stiff from work. I started rubbing, which always arouses me. After a while, I kissed her neck, and she turned around and started kissing me. We were making out a bit, and then she stopped, pulled back, and got a funny look in her eyes. I asked what was wrong; she paused and said that she didn’t want to hurt me. I told her that she could tell me anything, and she said “I know it sounds weird, but when I start to get sexual with you, all of a sudden it feels strange…like I’m cheating on Tom.” She started to blush a bit, and said that it made her feel like a bad wife. I assured her that she wasn’t a bad wife at all, and that it made perfect sense since she has been with him for a pretty long time now, and since she has sex with him far more frequently than she does with me. I didn’t really know what to say other than that; I know I could have reassured her more, and perhaps even used the opportunity to find out if she wanted to have sex with Tom exclusively, but it sort of came from left field and I was unprepared. I’m sure it will come up again, at some point…maybe then we’ll have more of a candid discussion about it.