I think my wife cheated. She denies it. What do you think?

My 36yo wife is on a business trip thousands of miles away. Met a guy on an app to make friends. They went to a bar and she drank so much they had to leave for her to walk up and down a beach at 1AM to sober up. She says they didn't do anything. I don't believe her. She has cheated before on the same type of business trip to the same place.

What do you think? What do you think actually happened?

I have included a couple of her pics as well.

Are you a victim of a cheating wife or are you a cuckold? Do you have an arrangement with your wife for her to cheat? Two different relationships if so tough times ahead , I believe this is the kind of thing that has ruined this site wanabee cuckolds!
Droopy and Miss

shankly
I'm sorry if you think I'm adding to any deterioration of this site, not my intent. My wife is aware of my fantasy, but I was very clear with her, my fantasy does not include being cheated on behind my back. And she said she understood that.

The the mind fuck with my fantasy is I do want to see her with another man, so yes when a scenario like this comes up it does feed that. But at the same time I struggle because like I said being cheated on behind my back is not what I was looking for.

Was your wife aware of your fantasy prior to that previous business trip when she cheated or did you tell her after? If she confessed to an infidelity after that trip, wouldn't she have admitted something happened this time too?

With both of knowing she'd cheated before on a similar business trip to the very same destination, did either of you mention the possibility before she left or did you both skirt around the subject, like "the elephant in the room"?

The fact that she's hopefully been honest this time, about getting dr unk and having to sober up at 1am, suggests that she perhaps didn't do anything. The guy may well have had other ideas of course. Maybe her getting so dr unk put him off trying his luck.
Peter C

Peter C

I told my wife about my fantasy a couple of years after what happened on the previous business trip. She has yet to return from this current trip, and that's why I'm half expecting more to come out when she does get home.

My fantasy isn't for her to cheat on me behind my back. And I have made this very clear to her when we've spoken about the fantasy and she understood.

I do agree with you that her honesty before does make me feel a bit better. But since she waited until she got home on the previous trip to fess up, and she's still on this one I kind of feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. If that makes any sense.

All I can say is I hope you get what you want, and even more importantly, want what you get Goodpen86.
Still think your Redhead wife is Hot!
M Lura

"Met a guy on an app to make friends" is straight up bull**** btw. It's 100% bull****. Also business trips rank among the top times when spouses cheat.


Good news, I've been somewhat obsessed with catching cheaters for a few years now and have some advice.

The most important thing is did you give her consent to cheat on this trip? See the thing is many women have **** fantasies. That doesn't mean they want to be ****d. At any point down the line don't let her pull your kink into this to try to weasel out.

This entire kink revolves around giving up your power. There's an interesting connection between political philosophy and kinks such as this as well as BDSM and Sub/Dom relationships. And that the more submissive partner exercises the "Consent of the governed". It's a phrase that's even in the US Constitution. What it boils down to is they have power because you allow them to have power. The Dominant partner (or governments) can't just do whatever they want. You're adults and need to talk about this first and come to an agreement. If you don't things go very badly. If you agree to give up power you need to give it up to someone you can trust. So stick to your guns on this, if you didn't say she could and only voiced it as a fantasy don't let her railroad you into an eventual open relationship. Even if she thinks she did this "for you" by acting unilaterally she essentially shot your relationship in the head and it's now currently ******** out. She lost you had in her that might never come back.


Your first priority is not to jump to any decisions until you get as much info as possible. Find out if she actually cheated. You might not get a smoking gun. But if you're patient and methodical you just might. And you don't need proof beyond a shadow of a doubt. That's only for criminal cases. YOU are the only one that needs to be convinced because you're the one in the relationship and not your mutual friends or family that don't want to see you split. Even in divorce court you don't need beyond a shadow of a doubt. Simple photographs of the couple entering and leaving a hotel room is enough to avoid alimony.

Second priority is to stop acting suspicious. Act like the oblivious stupid husband. Stop asking her questions. You acting suspicious will cause her to bury the cheating as far as possible. You want to get her into a false sense of security. Let her think she's the best cheater in the world. It's these people that fuck up.

Third, DON'T fucking have sex with her when she gets home. Come up with an excuse. Say you're sick. Say you can't get it up. Ideally you want her to get a damn STD test. Also you have zero idea if he used protection. Beach at 1 am and she is ***** as fuck? Pretty fucking easy to slip a jimmy off and nut in her. Never going to see her again so why would he care? Give her something to turn your dick green or knocked her up. Just jerk off and think about being a cuck or something. Not trying to be insulting but if she did and this dude was a rando and we're no longer playing around with fantasy but real life then we're talking about your health and well being. You want to be cuck and raise a randos kid, that's perfect fine. But lying about it and passing the kid off as yours without your knowledge is a whole nother thing. I'm serious about this, she's very likely going to want to jump your bones when she gets home. Women are into that whole "reclaiming" thing. Don't fucking do it.

If I were you I'd go talk to a lawyer for a consultation. There's no obligations they just give you an idea of what you might be looking at. Oh you don't see this as a deal breaker and think you can work past it? Sorry buddy, it's not up to you. Relationships involve 2 people. She might very well decide to leave you. Remember when I said she shot your relationship in the head? Yeah, ***** broken. People find cheating fun. Her seal has been broken. The whole cuck thing is inherently submissive which is a huge turn off for women. You don't see it often because women will usually just leave you. Again, that's why you're suppose to talk about it first and come to an understanding.

If you want to stay together and she does as well, even if she is being honest, you two still need serious couples therapy.

And I hate to make things worse for you buddy....but it's very possible she didn't use an app. Google "trickle truth". What's more likely is she's been having an affair at work. Might even have been an emotional affair and it was at this work thing she went to that it progressed to physical. 85% of affairs occur at work. I mean I had to look it up but yeah it's really fucking high. This means that this might be ongoing. If it is a work affair it means your troubles only started.

And I'm sorry but people in general can't really just cheat. It's kinda terrifying the first time. It goes against everything you're suppose to do. It's far more likely there's some guy at work that had her interest for some time.

Also google "affair fog", "limerence". If this is a work affair then knowing these terms will be a BIG help.

Okay so the detective work.

So there's a few things you need to determine beyond if she cheated on this work trip. Did she cheat on past work trips and just never told you? Has she been cheating with someone at work? Or was it really a rando? Is it a long term or one time? Is the other man married?

If **** turns south and if it is a long term thing, he's married and she works with him then this might give you quite a bit of leverage. Get a favorable divorce agreement in exchange for not blowing up his life and getting them both fired if their job looks down on it. With some professions it might even mean prison time depending on who exactly she cheated with. Like if a lawyer was fucking the criminal they're prosecuting.

To help answer if this is a long term thing you can usually tell by her behavior.

Has sex frequency chanced be it more or less? Does she have any new moves?

Was there a man at her work she used to always talk about but suddenly went quiet? "Oh Jeffs so funny he said..." "Jeff took a trip to..." always talking about a dude. Then no more?

Do you use to know her passwords and did they change? Social media and electronic devices. Maybe claiming its "work policy to keep it private now"?

Does she take calls in private? Always on her phone? Keep phone angled so you can't see? If so how far back does this go?

Did she start working later or going into work sooner?

Started paying more attention to how she looks in general especially when going to work such as makeup and nice clothes?

Has she picked up any new slang terms or any new interests that she wasn't interested in before? Like suddenly following soccer for example. Women fucking love picking up **** their new love interests are into. A chick I worked with was suddenly very interested in Guns, Sonic the Hedgehog, Legos, and weight lifting. I'll give you one guess what things my buddy at work were into.

Did she suddenly stop hanging around with certain friends of hers? Some women are actually decent and don't like being around cheaters. They don't want to have to cover for them.

OR it's quite possible none of these red flags exist. It does happen. But not often. Cheating is pretty predictable.

Want some HARD evidence right this minute?

Go online and log on to your cell phone provider right now. There will be a section that shows you a log of the last few months calls and texts incoming and outgoing. If this is long term then there will be a lot of texts and calls back and forth to a specific number. Do a reverse look up for that number. Also these calls and texts might be happening at strange times like very late at night. Look for patterns.

If this really was a 1 time thing then you should be able to see the dudes phone number. Treat yourself and do a reverse look up and do a quick online background check. Even criminal ****. Imagine her surprise you knowing exactly who he was when you serve her divorce papers.

Do you have a doorbell camera? Most people forget about them and never pay attention to it anymore. If you travel for work or if you have days that she is home alone for an extended period of time regularly such as the case if you have no kids and you work all day Saturdays and she's off, take a look at who comes over when you're gone.

Do you share an Amazon account or know her password? Log on and look at her past purchases. She can have naughty **** sent to amazon lockers, work, or his place but the purchase will still show.


Another possibility is she's lying to you thinking it will turn you on. I doubt it though. I suspect she used your kink as her excuse while she was away to cheat or let someone she's been flirting with at work fuck her. Or she's been cheating and she's using the kink as a way to cover her tracks. Or she actually did cheat and isn't even thinking of cuckolding and is trickle truthing you.

More terms to learn right this moment are "gray rock method", "The 180", "the pick-me dance", find out if you live in an "at fault" divorce state. Gather your financials. Look for a lawyer and see him yesterday to get the lay of the land because every state is very different. Research good marriage counselors because either way you two need to see one. Even if she was completely innocent because honestly married people don't meet people on apps for friends when away from home.

Act normal. Don't fuck her. Start digging. See a lawyer. Hit the gym. See a ********* for yourself. Find a good marriage counselor. Learn all the terms I told you. Do all that and you're fucking set.

Also can a mod change "Member" to "complete buzzkill" under my name?

wavedave

Thank you so much for taking the time for that detailed reply!

I know the app for "friends" is bs. And the going to the bar with someone from there just adds to the thought she did something.

I was very up front about my fantasy not being for her to cheat on me behind my back. And she understood (or said she did). The first incident was before I had really discovered I even had the fantasy.

I'll have to work on the detective part, definitely not in my nature. But you did mention a few things that have become an issue recently. She is always texting or on her phone. She doesn't necessarily try to hide her phone from me, but we've also never had the type of relationship where we would think the other would bother looking. If that makes sense?

Thank you again for the detailed, thoughtful response and the advice. I really do appreciate it. And will consider what you said.

Mark Lura

I like that, I do need to like what I get, whatever that is. Or deal with having to make other decisions I don't want to make. Thank you!

And yes she is hot, I'm glad you agree

I wanted my young wife to cuckold me, almost from the moment just before we first made love. It was 1969 and she felt the need to confess she wasn't a virgin. Two guys had enjoyed her at different times during the previous year or so. I wanted details, she gave them and her confessions because part of our sex.

From her true confessions we moved to her making confessions up. We married and I pushed for her to cheat and tell me about it. She resisted, at least regarding the telling me about it bit. I now know her slut legs opened for an older workmate of mine and that he made her pregnant though to this day she denies it. There were probably others.

Among the 'ficticious' stories she told me was one about her boss at the bingo hall having her against the wall in his office. After I'd cum she decided to tell it was a true story and that it had happened some six weeks earlier. Her thinking was that if I reacted badly she could say she had said it was true just to excite me enough to want immediate seconds.

From then on her cheating was done openly and I reaped the benefit as she brought home many a well filled pussy. She also lost a lot of her jealousy so I was also able to fuck other women, and though she didn't know about it one of then was one of her siblings.