it's 3 days later - need help/advice

So it finally happened few nights ago. This is a 100% true story and I'm not sure how to move on from this. My gf knows of my hotwifing and cuckolding fantasy and we have roleplayed it in bed a lot with mindblowing sex. She's sexted with 2 of her exes in the past (while we fuck and with my encouragement) and just this last Tuesday night, she had sex with someone other than me. She and I went out for lunch with one of those 2 exes (her most recent ex happens to also be my friend - they dated very briefly before she dated me). Anyway there was ******** involved and we invited him back to the house that night. After a lot of encouraging by me, I said I was going to bed, that I wanted them to have fun, and I finished cleaning up the kitchen from the night. I heard them go upstairs to our bedroom and they shut the door. I've relived that sound a million times. I have never said I wanted to watch them keep in mind - it's just that it was actually happening. I went upstairs few min later and went to the guest bedroom (really didn't *****). I heard them after a few minutes having full on sex. The loud slapping of skin on skin. I even heard her cries of pure joy and ecstasy (she even told him she loved him 4 times in a row! that wasn't easy to accept). After maybe 20 or 30 minutes, they slept for maybe another 20 minutes before I heard someone open the door and head downstairs. I waited a few min more and opened the guest bedroom door to the hallway. Our bedroom door was shut again and no one was downstairs. I assumed he left and went to my bedroom, opened the door, and found my naked gf ********. I begged her to talk with me and I'm sure I even sounded pathetic but I was dying and needed to hear what happened, details, did she love it? etc etc. I needed to experience some level of joy from this and I had nothing. I left the room and slept downstairs on the couch. I went back to her in bed a few hours later and she did let me go down on her. I had asked me where he came, and she said she didnt remember. I thought I tasted latex when I ate her pussy and sure enough she found a condom wrapper in the master bath trash later that day. I thought I was ok at this point and I even told her that I wasn't going to full on fuck her again until he got the chance to fuck her again (hopefully later that day since we were all off from work).

Here's where I need help/advice.. it's now days later and I'm so not ok. She refuses to tell me anything else, she swears she cant remember what happened, I feel like I had no part of the fetish, none of the good things we think about and fantasize over. No reclaim sex, no reassurances from her about anything. Like we're supposed to drop this. I'm sure I'm annoying her now - that was never my intention. I need to say that I relate more to the stag/vixen part of all of this. I realize many reading this enjoy cuckold *********** and angst but that's not me/us. Anyone have anything to offer that's constructive? I've been searching online for articles explaining hotwifing and the concept of reclaiming her but can't really find what I'm looking for to share with her.

Again, would love to hear some constructive feedback outside of the "just deal with it, cucky" responses I see some time.

More about us, I'm early 40s and she's early 30s. Shes a complete knockout and knows it. She sent me a text this morning while I was outside digging her car out of the snow that she loves me and only me and she feels nothing about what happened. Nothing.

Thanks very much

All I can contribute is the old saying "be careful what you ask for - make sure it's what you want..."
The moment she/they took you up on the offer, you surrendered control over the situation. And for many of us the loss of control is the hardest to deal with. In our fantasies, things happen according to our wants, reality isn't so accomodating.
Advice - talk to her about what's going on for you - without putting anything on her - and listen to whatever she has to say. Then figure out where you, each one and together, want to go from here.

Take her out and reassure her, did not talk about the experience... it sounds to me like she regrets it and is kinda mixed up. She doesn't at this point know what to think herself.,,, this is more about her than you. If you push this she may react badly. This is more complex than you release.... fantasy and reality are very different.... and I'm now sure you realise this. Many on here are just into the fantasy..... as I've said reality is big time different. Message me if you want to talk more privately

Classic case of her having major regrets and worried its all going to adversely affect your relationship with her. She needs reassuring that you really like that this happened and that you are uber cool with it, which from your thread above I'm not sure you are? And maybe she is picking up on your subconscious feelings of regret too??? at least regret that your not getting what you thought you'd get from it. You do lose some level of control in this when she goes for other cock, so you have to be prepared for those feelings too.

If she really got off way better with this other guy than you, is she really in an environment where she feels safe to share that with you in its full glory, or would that make you feel more regret? and is she aware that this maybe the outcome if she shares with you how she really enjoyed the whole thing and maybe wants more....much more???


My sense is shes scared and unsure and needs major reassurances from you.

pops

Exactly what Popeyes said ... she's afraid you are gonna flip out

This is a basic, textbook scenario for many cuckolds that attempt to "push" a situation. The genie is now out of the bottle. Her and her lover's desires and motivations will henceforth guide their interaction. How else could one expect this type of plan to unfold?

Cuckolding only works one way. Hers!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Talk, talk, talk, that's what's needed, plus a lot of trust on both of your parts. I can only agree 150% with what [b]idcpgfan, bovril, and popeye[/b] have already said. You both need to talk at length about this, but at the same time don't make up your mind on the situation before you've discussed it with her. At the end of the day if she persists in saying she doesn't honestly remember any detail about it, you're faced with either making a big issue out of it with all the problems that brings, or you accept her version of events and swallow your pride. You also need to tell her that the next time you want and need to be there and watch her fuck her ex.
her texting you and telling you she loves you sounds to me as if it's genuine and she's holding out an olive branch to you to make up, accept it. She's also able to separate love from sex it seems, which is the right attitude to adopt when fucking outside the marriage. It's just sex, not a life long commitment.

I totally agree with everything that has already been said above. I spent about 2 years coaxing, encouraging and persuading my wife Debbie that I'd be cool with her dating and s1eeping with someone else and that I'd love to hear all about it after the event. Eventually, having convinced her that I wasn't looking for an excuse to cheat on her and would still love her, she told me that a customer at the shop she was assistant manageress at in a nearby town had been chatting her up and had asked her out for a dr1nk.

It was a case of right place, right time with this guy. He was 12 younger than her which appealed to her hope of a toyboy lover and he was totally unconcerned that she was 35 and married with 4 kids. We discussed at length and in detail how we thought this would pan out, but as others have said this fails to take into account the other guy's view of things and things that you never even considered come into play.

Taking my kids late night shopping at the supermarket knowing my wife was out on a date with this young guy was surreal, exciting and kind of worrying all rolled into one. Classic "cuckold angst" I guess. When she finally got home she revealed how their evening had been and regaled me with the account of how he'd taken her back to his flat after 2 or 3 dr1nks and got her into bed very easily. They'd fucked 3 times, the second time with her on top after a break for a cigarette and a coffee. I'd bought her the condoms that morning so she was prepared, but was a little shocked that they had used them all. I'd kind of expected him to just fuck Debbie once then send her on her way, but with his youthful energy and stamina he'd kept my wife in his bed for nearly 3 hours.

As I_A_S_P said above, the genie was now out of the bottle. I enjoyed hearing what they'd done together and loved re-claiming her pussy that night, but things could never be quite the same. What was done was done. They weren't words we actually used, but Debbie had cheated. I now had an unfaithful wife and nothing could change that. The plan we discussed as we made love that night was for her to continue seeing Chris. She'd told him that she'd wanted a toyboy "bit on the side" for some time to which he replied, "Well, now you've got one." We talked about when she could see him next, how often I'd be willing for her to meet up with him for sex and if perhaps she could stay over at his maybe once a month. I agreed to all her suggestions and looked forward to Debbie having the "bit on the side" that she apparently craved and maybe even needed.

Before, we had agreed ground rules in that she wouldn't do anything with anyone I knew, so I couldn't put a face to the name, and that she'd make sure they always used condoms. She'd been sterilised so pregnancy wasn't an issue. I just didn't want her catching an STI and passing it on to me. We'd also agreed that if either one of us felt troubled or unhappy with this new arrangement, then it stopped there and then and indeed, that's what happened.

The next day I was still fine, but the day after I became very insecure. What if she went off with him? What if he was better in bed than me? What if his cock was bigger than mine? I then - too hastily I think in hindsight - told her all this and asked her not to see him anymore. Coupled to the fact that he hadn't been back in touch, she now felt she shouldn't have done it. She felt dirty, used and embarrassed to have been such an easy lay for this cocky young man. We had a difficult, quiet few days where I had to reassure her that I still loved her with lots of cuddles and that no harm had been done. I told her it was something we'd both wanted to try. I'd had my fantasy of my wife being fucked by another man come true and she'd had her fantasy of sex with a much younger guy fulfilled. Chris had had sex with an older, married woman so it was win-win all round.

We got through it. Chris did contact her after a few days hoping for a repeat, but she told him they'd had their fun and it had been a one-off. She told me she'd never "go down that road again" when I mentioned it a long time after. That became "maybe" a few years later, culminating in "are you sure you'd be okay with it this time?" years after that too.

The advent of the Internet and social media now gave us the opportunity to see what was about for her and eventually, over 9 years after her one-night-stand with Chris and with us both now older and wiser, Debbie embarked on a new era of "being naughty". This time I handled things much better with her having sex with 4 different men, including two in their 20s again (she was 44!) and being fucked vigorously and bare-back by a former work colleague of mine, thus dispensing with both of our previous ground rules in one go. I took all this in my stride.
Peter C

Peter C
You did well Peter, relaxing all those years later and accepting that some things are inevitable, so why get so worked up about them, is paramount. I was interested to learn that in one fell swoop several of your pre-arranged ground rules had gone out of the window! Didn't you enjoy that little frisson of excitement when you realised you were no longer in control of things, Debbie was!
Had we known each other back then I would have enjoyed reminding you of that by fucking Debbie myself, for your own benefit you understand!!

As everyone has said do not pressure her. Offer her support and encouragement. I'm sure she will once again want to try it again. Try talking dirty to her during sex and bring up subtle reminded of that night, like how much you enjoyed hearing her moan and ask her what made her moan etc etc. Roll play with her by going down on her after you've fucked her telling her how good she taste after being fucked. Tell her how hot you think it would be to hold her legs open for a lover to enter her with ease. She will probably be fucking someone else very soon if you encourage her but not push her. Women like to think they are in control and they like to think they are pleasing their man at the same time.

Wow it's been over 2 years since I looked at this thread.

Update: we are still together. And still exploring the lifestyle. But taking it extremely slow.

It's so true when many of you offer advice of take it slow, communicate, set boundaries. It's only process that works so thanks again to many of you.

She did fuck same guy once again about 10 months after that initial time. I had to work one weekend and she saw on social media he was out with friends for lunch. She asked me if I'd care if she went and met up with them. And I said no problem go have fun. She wanted to be able to have some ****** so she accepted his offer to pick her up. The day progressed to her and him hanging with another couple (his coworker and coworker's girlfriend) with them becoming more like the second couple. Lunch became bowling and she ended up at his house just the 2 of them. They fooled around here and there. Made out when stopped at a traffic light for example. At one point she called me and told me about the kissing. And once again I had all those feelings of being nervous but I remained calm and just reminded her that he was foreplay for us. That she should have fun only if she can keep it as just that. Fun foreplay. Hours went by and she sent me text that they did have sex but she kept apologizing over and over. My heart was racing and I had another hour of work left ugh. Not easy knowing she's there with him waiting for me to come get her, she feels guilty I guess, they fucked without a condom, he pulled out and came on her stomach, and I was hard as a rock. And I'm at work ha

Finally left work and drove to his house. I text I was there as I didn't want to see him and she came out. We drove back to our house and all she wanted to do was ***** so I let her. Remember they had been ******** good part of the day. Next morning she let me go down on her and we had amazing sex though I definitely didn't last long. I was even able to get her to admit that she had really liked the sex with him. I asked if she blew him and she admitted she did "for a little while" before admitting to him that she doesn't even blow me! She also said my dick was nicer looking (no clue ha). And to this day she still hasn't given me a blowjob. It's not that she wouldn't if I asked but she knows that I love the idea that he was last guy to get a blowjob from her. And we'll talk about that sometimes when we fuck. Anyway back to my update, so I had to work again that next day (Sunday) and left for work late morning. Sure enough few hours go by and she texts me asking if I care if she goes back to his house.

Now I'm worried. This is supposed to be foreplay guy. Not new relationship guy. But I said sure go ahead and I'll pick you up later. She takes an Uber to his house and they spend day together. Just 2 of them watching tv in his bed (fully clothed) and he made her lunch. No sex. Light petting but that's it. After work I pick her up and she said nothing happened. They were more like friends hanging out. We fucked again though which was once again amazing sex.

Next day (Monday) I text the guy to meet up for afternoon ******. Something I often do so it wasn't strange for me to do that. And he says ok. And I tell my girlfriend I'm doing it too. To make sure he knows his place. He had told my gf that if he was dating her, he'd never let her fuck others. That passed me off. But it goes really well. I even joke with him how lucky he is to have gotten a blowjob from MY girlfriend.

So life goes on and my gf and I discuss this guy from time to time but she swears she's not into him any more though I think she would be with right timing and circumstances. And I see the guy all the time. He has a girlfriend now so I'm sure that's part of it.

We have a new guy that she's played with once more recently, an overnight on New Year's Day (a guy she dated before me and who is aware of me encouraging her to fuck others) and he'll most likely be next guy to fuck my gf. I will update about him next time.