KanaHey! Though it has been 8 years, even after four boyfriends she can still feel like she's doing something wrong after the fact. However, every time, when she has the opportunity the urge and desire to get her pussy filled, and her mouth wrapped around another man's cock simply proves too much for her. However, it also depends on the boyfriend. Her first one she had a lot of mixed emotions as it was the first time she broke through those marital boundaries and societal structures. She just felt like she was doing something that she was not supposed to be doing as a wife while at the same time knowing that it felt incredibly good doing so. Those feelings that she was doing something wrong subsided a bit with boyfriend two and three. However, with boyfriend two, who had a tendency to disappear (nicknamed Houdini), she sometimes had questions whether she was good enough for him. However, the moment he messaged her, these feelings were quickly proved unfounded; but because she had them, she was also even more desperate to prove the slut to him that she is to make him happy. Boyfriend three treated her even better and did not disappear, at least not as quickly. So, she never had questions of whether she satisfied him. Probably why he has always been her favorite. It wasn't until the fourth boyfriend that treated her a little bit more disrespectfully that brought back her original feelings that she was doing something that she shouldn't have been doing, and treating her poorly was a consequence of that and proof that she shouldn't be doing it. He ultimately turned her off to this lifestyle for the past four years. The positive thing is that boyfriend three has never fully disappeared and does periodically reach out. Though they have not gotten together since the second half of 2017. To my incredible excitement, he just reached out to her the evening before last to wish her a happy new year and their conversation in 24 hours quickly resumed back to one very sexual in nature. I'm really looking forward to seeing how their conversation continues its revelations today. I have no doubt she is quickly hoping she gets the opportunity to soon feel his huge cock. If you would like to follow the progress of this new possible reignited relationship you can follow the post at
https://www.cuckoldplace.com/6_96248_1.html.As for me, after these past years, I've become very comfortable with the fact that my wife is not sexually attracted to me nor gets real sexual satisfaction from me. I am secure in the fact that we have a very good marriage and I provide for her in every other facet of our relationship. However, I know sexually the only way she is truly satiated is when she is getting fucked by another guy who is not me, preferably with a cock much larger than mine and an alpha personality. Though I normally have a very alpha personality in my everyday life, I enjoy her, taking this away from me in our sex life, and allowing other men to be the alpha in that area of our relationship. I have come to accept that I get more sexual pleasure by seeing, hearing, or otherwise simply knowing that she is getting pleasured than getting the physical pleasure from her myself. So, with that being said, I have truly accepted and embraced her desire to fuck other men anytime and in any way she feels the need whether that is with me there, without me there, or even not even telling me about it while I learn indirectly in some other way.
The bottom line, even after eight years, is that when she doesn't have a boyfriend, she does not like the idea of being slutty. However, the moment she does have a boyfriend that inner slut and desperate desire to get properly fucked by another guy comes flooding back. I have accepted that her saying that she does not have this desire when she doesn't have a boyfriend is simply lip service to allow her to cope with not having a boyfriend and also to avoid giving me any satisfaction in this fantasy when she doesn't have a boyfriend. However, deep down, she always has this incredible desire and urge to be an incredibly dirty, nasty, and submissive slut, willing to do anything to make her boyfriend cum. As for my jealousy, that has long long since passed and completely replaced with that desperate need for the incredible high I get from her going outside of our marriage, no matter how she chooses to do that. I even now welcome her growing disinterest in paying me any sexual attention unless I have finally begged her hard enough where she folds and gives me a few minutes to slip my small cock, that I know simply gives her no sexual pleasure, inside her. I have accepted that she does not dress sexy for me or do anything that she knows might turn me on, reserving those things only for when she has a boyfriend in her life. This is where our relationship and marriage functions most optimally. The only downside, the often long gaps between her having a boyfriend where her libido goes into full hibernation mode. I truly wish that she would take on a boyfriend locally and with one who would want to get together both regularly and for a long-term. However, in this lifestyle, that is a very hard guy to find.
