A start into the lifestyle

I confessed to my wife that I was turned on by the fantasy of her hooking up with another man. She replied that she is not into fantasy, only the real thing. She then told me about a crush she had and is now pursuing him with my encouragement. Knowing that she is free to play has changed her in so many great ways. She started working out daily, buying sexier clothes, and going out with her single girl friends. I don't think anything has happened yet. I am giving her space and not prying or putting on pressure.
I was surprised at how easy it was to get her started. In fact I just was interested in role play it was her idea to make it real.

Nice.... Good luck. How old are u guys ?? Describe her....

The idea was already in her head, you just kicked it into action with your encouragement. Now sit back and enjoy the ride, she will!

DP mid 40's she is tall and athletic.

I have really not tried to get to talk too much about our arrangement, partially when she starts talking about it I sometimes get an emotional overload and just shut down. I freeze like a deer in the headlights.It is just too exciting. So I she seems to have taken the hint and kept her activities to herself. I find myself watching her activities closely for indications of progress and they are everywhere.
One is that she used to leave her cell phone everywhere now it never leaves her side. I don't think she wants me to see the text on her phone. And now she wants a second cell phone, and her own iTunes acct. She even mentioned something about how people get second secret Facebook accounts for their desecrate activities. I had never heard of that and I wonder where she got the idea.

So what are you hoping to get out of it? Are you wanting to clean her pies up? are you prepared to be involved such as fluffing her bulls or cleaning their cummy cocks up if so ordered? Just wondering how far into this you are willing or hoping to go?

With being a cuck, you can't dabble with the lifestyle, if you're hoping to get the most out of it then you will have to immerse yourself fully in it, even if it does mean initially doing things you might not like. The more you become involved, the more you're drawn into it.
You need to ask yourself exactly what popeye1 asked, what are you hoping to get out of it, how far are you willing to go? Answer that honestly and you'll make progress. Your wife already is by the sound of things.

That is a good question so I will give it some thought and get back. It just seems right and feels right. My sex drive has gone through the roof because I am always thinking about her and she is frequently leaving hints. Before we started down this path we were really letting ourselves go. Putting on the pounds and working all the time. That has really turned around. One result I wanted was a little more passion in our relationship. So far that is happening too.

Have you considered that she may be cuckolding you with someone you know? A friend perhaps? How would you feel about that

Her main crush, that she is pursuing with my permission is someone I know. It felt a little awkward the last few times I saw him but he seemed fine so I do not think anything had happened at that point. I have not asked for an update recently, but she has been texting with him allot and found excuses to get together with him like hiring him him for projects where they have to work together.
Early on I decided to step back and not bug her about it and see what happens. It has been a while since we talked about her crushes and our new arrangement and I am over due for an update. But simply watching her behavior and letting my imagination go wild is also fun and there is a possibility that she has not made much progress.
She has 2 friends that are in their 40's, single, and guy crazy. She goes out with them and last time I checked she had not told them. I went out with them one night and it got awkward. I felt like i was interfering with the hunt and that her friends wanted me to go home early.
Her office is walking distance to the bars they like to go to. She recently moved some chairs out to put in a futon.

Keep checking her panties for evidence, I'm sure one of these days you will see the crusty telltale sign of adultery

If that doesn't tell you anything then nothing will!

She recently got invited to go skiing with one of her guy crazy female friends. She told me that as long as there are a lot of singly guys and a place to go dancing then she will not be bored.

I finally asked her about her latest crush and her pursuit of him. Looks like it has not worked out and she is giving up on him for now. At the same time she has upped her workouts and just bought a really sexy dress so I think she has not given up in general, just adjusting her focus. Now she wants to join a gym. I think it is a great idea but when I also expressed interests well she dropped it. I am going to suggest that she join by herself and see if her interest comes back. A gym seems like a perfect place to meet new prospects.

Believe me it is, plenty of toned, muscular guys there. She'll be permanently wet while she's with them, her single friends will encourage her to respond to the guys, she'll get herself fucked. Simple really!

I agree. I think the door has been opened and I could not close it if I tried. I am still surprised that our arrangement was her idea. Our second conversation about it she warned me that we could be opening pandora's box.
Now, she seems to be developing a private life, which I think is healthy to a degree, but we work and spend so much time together that she needs space to be happy. Up to this point I felt like I needed to not bug her about her thoughts and plans in order to let them grow and develop on their own but just getting hints and evidence is driving me crazy so I think I need to encourage her to start sharing more with me.

Your situation is somewhat rare. Most couples get started with the hubby persuading the wife, often after months of fussing and discussing it, before she agrees.

On the other hand you barely raised the subject and your wife jumped at the chance to pursue her crush. I agree with kennyboy... she already had these thoughts in her head.

You're about to face the classic new-cuck dilemma though. You've given her permission to step outside your marriage, thinking you can remain in control. But that control is slipping away. Suggestions of separate cell phones, secretive Facebook accounts, hovering over her phone constantly, hanging out with single friends, and now a ski trip... all signs that she wants total privacy.

New cucks often want their wives to have privacy... but not TOO much privacy. They want her to have sex with someone, but ONLY guys they approve. They want her to fuck someone, but not TOO often. You get the idea.

The problem is that she is having a blast with her new freedom. She feels sexy and renewed. She also thinks she has cart blanche to do as she wants. If you step back in and try to assert control it could create some friction. She's going to remind you that "you wanted this", and she'll be right.

So be thinking about how to handle that, because I'm betting you find yourself wrestling with the control issue soon.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Good thread!

I decided to revisit this thread lately. As I look back on that time I realize she was trying to convert me into accepting a new lifestyle. It was subtle, a comment here and there, the types of TV shows we watched, etc.
The intensity of the situation was really too much for me, fantasy was easy, reality was intense, but I did not want to stop it, just turn down the heat. So I stopped playing along and she stopped the hinting and I still give her lots of space to do whatever the wants.

I read into this that she's fucking outside of the marriage - correct? With your approval obviously.

At this point I am not sure, I can say that she was very enthusiastic about the idea and as I look back I realize she was already on the make for a guy when I suggested fantasizing about the lifestyle. So she said she was into the real thing and carefully started to give me information. The reality ended up being to much for me and she picked up on that and told me she was not interested in sex anymore. I bought that becasue I needed the denial to get my head straight. Now I am looking back over that time and putting pieces of the puzzle together that I had not put together at the time. Also, I found lesbian porn in her underwear drawer with notes like "hot" and "milf"

I've only just found this thread and know from experience that SheDatesHeWaits is spot on with his post. Our first step into the lifestyle did not go well in as much as my wife got the young cock she craved quite easily, but my insecurity issues spoilt the experience for her. Add to that that the guy in question then didn't got back in touch straight away and you have a wife feeling used and dirty having been too easy. We had a few quiet days, but came through it. Once the deed is done, you can't change that. Another man has fucked your wife, plus you forget to factor in the other guys feelings and where he wants this to go.

My wife insisted she "wouldn't go down that road again", but gradually that changed to "maybe", then "are you sure you could handle it this time?" Over 9 years after that one-night-stand, with the help of the internet and social media and us both being that bit older and wiser, Debbie embarked on cuckolding me again. We didn't use words like "unfaithful" or "cheating". She was just "naughty" from time to time. She was 44 now, but still managed to pull guys of 25 and 28 as well as a couple of guys about her age, one her mate's step-dad and a former work colleague of mine.

Originally we had ground rules that she wouldn't go with anyone I knew and would always use condoms, but she let my ex-workmate fuck her bareback and brought me home the proof. Her pussy, her rules I guess, but I took all that in my stride. Her opening her legs for a man who had criticised and put me down at work was a bit humiliating, but arousing too, like the ultimate put-down for that Pete he used to work with. Me and him are even friends on Facebook now and we have discussed what Debbie was like in bed. I was actually disappointed when he told me she wasn't that good.

All did not end well though. She became more secretive and I have only recently found out other things such as about her mate's step-dad and that my ex-colleague fucked her much more than the twice she told me. Our last year together we didn't have sex at all and she eventually left me for a guy 2 doors away, who's wife had left him. My wife moving in with him was no doubt the talk of the street, but they have since moved across town.

Despite all that, I don't regret us entering this lifestyle one little bit. I'd do it all again.
Peter C

Well said, I guess that sums all of us up!

I am back. We work together and got buried in work and stress and forgot about playing for a while. We had a big fight then a few days later she called and asked if she could take off early and go see music with some friends. I said sure and I saw her briefly before she left and she looked really hot in a short skirt ect. I asked who she was going with and it was her longtime crush who is also a friend and another guy. I just said ok but was kind of freaking out because it was sudden and she did not initially want to tell me who she was going with for some reason. She said she would be home late.
When she got home I had been full of angst for hours. I tried to act normal but was actually super turned on and a few days later we had great sex The funny thing was the sex caused a total reversal in her. It seemed to wash away the anger she had for me and we had "The talk again" I told her how much her going out with her friends turned me on and she again told me she felt like she needed to be able to have sex with other people. This was the most open talk we had ever had and I kept it going for months asking her almost daily about guys she thinks are hot and she would brag about the guys she met and flirted really hard with and some even became interested and are social media friends. We were both really having fun and still are but the intensity caused us to get behind on work so we both stopped talking about it as much. It is winter and she has been working out like crazy and is looking really great. She is searching for opportunities to connect with guys and having a lot of fun reporting back to me. She has not done the deed yet but she is really happy and I am happy to be her wingman.

Welcome back. I'm a bit surprised that your wife hasn't done anything yet, but it still looks a definite possibility.

With my wife it took a good 2 years of talking about it before she dated and had sex with a young guy, then - due to my insecurity issues - another 9 years before she did anything again. With hindsight I should have ridden out the "cuckold angst" and let things take their course. Debbie may then have had much more extra cock than she actually had.
Peter C

Sounds to me like she sexually frustrated or starved, and the great sex you had brought her back down. If she's not getting enough cock from you then she's obviously "looking" for other cock, but scared to take the plunge. You have to continually assure her and coach her on how cool you are with her getting cock elsewhere. Go with her and buy sexy clothes and underwear and tell her how much all men appreciate that. HOWEVER you have to address the question of what you want out of this, and how far you are willing to go? Also you must set ground rules or you may lose here all together. This is not a risk free lifestyle and only those with eyes wide open can navigate the oceans of cuckold pitfalls.

good luck

pops

Sound advice pops!

Wise words indeed. My wife Debbie and I agreed on 2 ground rules when we had decided that she should get cock elsewhere. One was that she'd always make them use condoms, not because of any risk of pregnancy as she'd had a hysterectomy, but to minimise her catching an STD. Number two was that she wouldn't go with anyone I knew so I wouldn't be able to put a face to the name. The latter was to prove the most difficult as I worked and we socialized in a male-dominated industry and with me working shifts - one week early, one week late - Debbie would often be in our works' bar and social club without me. Inevitably some of my work colleagues took an interest.

Long story short, an ex-workmate of mine added Debbie - not me! -as a friend on Facebook and they were soon messaging and chatting to one another every day. When Debbie confessed that she thought she was getting "into something I won't be able to get out of", I found myself meekly agreeing that it was okay and soon Mick, who I'd never really got on with as he'd criticize the way I did the job to all and sundry, had my wife in his bed. The ultimate put-down I guess. Both ground rules went that same afternoon with Mick fucking Debbie hard bareback and pumping his load into her. I took all this in my stride and without complaint, a case now of her pussy, her rules.

She later became more secretive, fucking Mick behind my back on and off for 2-3 years when I'd thought they'd only had sex twice and her visiting a nearby town some weekends supposedly to stay with a female friend, but more often than not being fucked by her mate's step-dad at his flat. I do wonder if my lack of complaint over her breaking our ground rules led her to lose all respect for me. In our last year together we didn't have sex at all and she left me in 2012.

I don't regret encouraging Debbie going out for the extra cock I think she needed - I still miss the lifestyle now - but definitely be careful what you wish for.
Peter C

What is really want is her to be happy and be able to live an extraordinary life. It is great to see her excitement when she tells me about meeting cute guys and flirting with them. We are taking it 1 step at a time.

If you really want her to be happy (and I think that you do) then the most important thing for you to be working on right now is your emotions. You've had a bit of a roller coaster ride for a while. And the single worst thing you could do right now is to have her go ahead, and then you have an emotional melt-down over it.

Get control of your emotions, and the rest will follow very nicely.

If you don't, she'll do it once, and then the next time will be years and years away.

There are plenty of things that can go wrong after she enjoys it once or twice. You need to make sure that you're not one of those things that goes wrong.

Right after she does it, she may be a little insecure about the status of your relationship. When guys have their release (you, in this case) their emotions change, often very dramatically. And that's the single worst time to decide in the intensity of the moment, that you don't ever want her to do it again. Because within a day or two, you'll be back to normal, wishing she was already with the guy for another time.

Just be aware of the emotional stuff that you might feel, and resolve not to do or say anything drastic without thinking about it for a couple of days.

xoxoxo

Christine