Chance of a start...

Just a wild thought that came to my mind.

Offer her it up to her. Your sacrefice dedicated to her having a wonderful time. That you had an erection and did nothing about it. Just accepted the tension, thought of her and wished her the best and nothing but enjoyment.

May mean something to you, may not. Either way, it is my thought and does not have to hit home with you.

So, how did it go? What was your wife's opinion of their first private PT session?
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Yes did "they" get hot and sweaty or just her?

It went well, in as much as she enjoyed it and is looking forward to next weeks session, but that is all.

He kept it very professional as I expected. I really can't see it changing, although I do want it to and will be dropping a few hints perhaps after a few weeks to let things settle, or find they're own way.

So it was just her who got hot and sweaty, sadly I guess.

There is still plenty of time on this for it to move onto it being something else, but I'm not holding out for it happening like that. If I can influence it, I will.

Any ideas?

You'll be tempted to push, but I wouldn't. You don't want your wife thinking that all you want is for her to 'fuck-fuck-fuck' other guys. Show her that you're comfortable waiting for situations that suit her. This guy has already been wishy-washy, so why push any more? I would back off completely. Assume that it will be professional PT and nothing more, let your wife know you're okay with that, and then let the chips fall where they may. If they warm up to each other, fine... if not, fine. I would shift my focus to the upcoming "work event" you mentioned. That sounds a lot more promising.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

By the way, that advice is based on something that happened to us. We went out and I tried to get my wife to strike up a conversation with someone she thought was cute, but she wasn't feeling horny that night. Two nights later we were out and a guy approached her, but he wasn't her type and I showed my disappointment. The next day I suggested that she check our AFF account to see if there were any messages from single guys.

She kind of blew up at me, and started asking if all I ever cared about was her fucking someone else. My pushing had made her feel like sex was all that mattered. So keep that in mind. They need to know we love THEM, not just the sexual side of things... and there are times when the smart thing to do is back off.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Thanks PCC, valid points, very well explained. I value your thoughts

I'm going to allow them to do what they do, and see.

bursting
So I am now a little confused, does she or does she not want to screw this guy? I mean if she wants to fuck him then while they're working out she should just take the lead and kiss him fully on the lips. Then she should follow by saying to him, "My husband will not be home for about the next four hours. If you want to take this any further I would welcome and gladly accept the opportunity of having an affair with you".

i122

Sorry if I have confused you, or anyone else.

She does like this guy. They had a meeting previously at her place of work where there was kissing and groping, that she loved. She wanted to meet him again and to go further, but he wouldn't come to ours to meet her, and at the time I wasn't comfortable with her going to him. So it died down from there.
He clearly likes her too, from his texts/messages and attitude towards her at that time.

However, she regrets doing what they did, as it unsettled me a little and her to a certain extent with it being so 'new' to us all really.

I feel a lot better about her doing anything with him now, to the point that she can go to him or whatever for some fun and I am ok with it all.

But she has said, clearly and bluntly on several occasions now, that she will not be doing anything with him like that at all in the future.

This is fine really, but I would really like that to change over time, hence giving them to chance to spend some time together away from a fitness class.

Second Personal one to one tonight. He has just arrived and I am upstairs, asked to keep out of the way.

Nothing will happen, I know that, but still feel the tingle.

Next week will be different. I will be at work and he won't have to worry about me being here at all.

bursting Sometimes just the "possibility" is enough, in and of itself...
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

No updates?

Ditto??

I'm slightly confused (not difficult at my age!) - does the guy know you're upstairs staying out of the way, hopefully to give them free room?
If so, then next week when they're alone together there should be some progress made, he should feel less inhibited. Best of luck, and keep us up to date with developments.

Hi guys, sorry for being away for a few days.

Updates? Not really.

The fitness guy does know I'm upstairs staying out of the way. He kept it 'professional'. Last week, I was at work on the night he came round, he knew this but still did nothing.

Me and my lady have had a chat about him. I said that I had had chance to think about things since they last played a little (where I wobbled and struggled a bit with it all) and it all sat much more comfortably now. I was ok if she continued and actually want her to do so with him, and if anything happened whilst he was round at ours, then fine.
She accepted this, but said (quite firmly) that she wouldn't be doing anything like that with him even though I might be ok with it all now, as she likes how things are between them as friends and as him training her and helping her fitness. Things would get weird and different between them if she did anything with him now and that's not how she wants it to be, and she still worries about her playing with him might affect us and our relationship.

She is not only worrying about your relationship, she is worried about affecting a professional relationship. There are two different things going on in her mind.

My advice take all pressure off, even mention unless she brings it up, concerning him.

If anything is going to happen it is with someone else. If she enjoys flirting, encourage that, in other places, even online. Let it build if it will. But if feel it will be a new acquantance of hers that will score the next time.

I'm guessing this all fizzled out in the end

Hi all.

Not really been on here for a little while, back again now though and have updates for you all.

I would very much like to hear your thoughts and advice please.

This might get a bit long-winded, but do please read.

Things between her and the gym instructor guy had died off. She had told me that as her activities with him had thrown me a bit, she had seen I wasn't comfortable with how it was developing and had decided to stop the late night messages and the flirty texts etc. Not fair on me she said, and she only wanted to continue with any form of flirting or potential play if we were all on the same page and felt ok to keep going.

I was happy with this, if a little disappointed, but I had been shaky about things and did only want things to happen if we all agreed on them.

All good, something else might happen with a new guy at some point.

Then I find out that they had been messaging and flirting without my knowledge, and for some time. This was confirmed by her, with lots of apologies.
This was a break of our trust, and I was very upset.


We had started all this, a long time ago now, with the agreement that nothing was to be hidden and everything was to be in the open. All parties to be comfortable, and at any point things would be stopped if one of us was not happy.

I trusted her. She lied.

Now. At the time I was devastated to be honest. She confessed to the messages but did say that they hadn't for a while. This, after seeing some messages, I don't fully believe but that's an aside. I actually think that they have kissed and touched some more as they did in their first encounter, but this has been flatly denied.

We spoke at length about it all, and at the end of it, I am trusting her again with conditions.

She still sees her instructor, but strictly professionally only. This is her choice. I am happy for her to kick things off again with him, with me in the loop, but she won't after seeing how it affected our relationship.

I have to take her word on this, and am. It may change, and she might decide to try again with him, we'll see.

She shows me the messages, and has deleted the chat app they were using on phone. I know they could still be messaging and deleting, but I'm giving her this trust again. She knows not to break it again.

Her sex drive has been very low for several weeks now, she admits as much. Work is very stressful and she often works longer hours leaving her tired. Her body confidence has dropped again too.

I keep trying to boost her, but to little avail.

I do still want her to play with other men, and women, and will continue to try and make things happen.

Seems to me you're on the horns of a dilemma here. you want her to ultimately fuck but to do it openly, not behind your back which is what's been happening. There has to be not just a degree of trust, but also some allowing her to find her own level, especially as you've talked it through and you've given her your approval again to ultimately fuck someone.
take her away for a weekend, help her to relax and unwind, she'll be more receptive to putting herself back on the market as it were. Assure her she has no worries about her body confidence, if her gym instructor found her sufficiently attractive to want to text her etc then plenty of others will feel the same, leading to what you both want. She needs encouragement, not being made to feel guilty, let her know you still want it to happen.
Keep in touch - pm if needs be.

A couple of thoughts for ya. First... you're still new to the lifestyle. Even if you both want this, there will be growing pains and setbacks. We experienced many instances of "2 steps forward, 1 step back". Things happen. You talk through them, find a solution and get back on track.

You will each grow and move forward at a different pace. It sounds like she got enamored with the attention she was getting from him, and didn't want to give that up. Who can blame her? It was exciting!

(Put your man-pants on 'cause you're not gonna like this part) The reality is that you created this situation, then you couldn't handle it. You persuaded her to do this for you, and then you got uncomfortable with the consequences. I know this sounds harsh. We all whack off fantasizing about the wife fucking someone. But when it happens for real, and she likes it more than we expected, then it's easy to freak out. But it's really not fair to let her experience the euphoria of being wanted and feeling sexy again, then slamming the brakes.

She saw that you weren't handling it well, so she did stop anything sexual. But it's obvious that she liked the attention too, so she kept up the flirty texting. Remember, women love to be wanted. Honestly... she handled it pretty well by telling you it was over. You calmed down, and she was able to keep getting at least some of the butterflies and tingles from the flirting. I know you see it as a breach of trust... but again... you asked her to do it. You have to accept the fact that she really liked some things about it. It can be a bit of a Pandora's Box, and you can't control everything.

Her drop in self-esteem makes perfect sense. You persuaded her to do this, then you freaked out. She liked the texting with him, but then got caught. Now she misses the fun texts. Her own husband doesn't trust her and she feels guilty. She surely misses feeling close with you, the way you two were when it started. In her mind this turned into a disaster.

You say you want her to play again. Well... you have a LOT of work to do. You have to patch things up with her, and get back on solid footing. Then you need to hash out how to move forward. Personally I think you need to agree to give her more freedom... not less. Show her that you trust her, and give her privacy and control. Stay off her phone. Remember, you're the one who asked to be a cuckold. If you move forward again, learn to deal with the angst. In time it will become more tolerable.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

I agree with the two previous posts. You have to choose between

1) Forget about the whole thing
2) Overcome your jealousy and let her have sex with someone else without you being present. It won't work if you are looking over her shoulder or orchestrating it. Once she gets this going, she may later have you present at times, but not at the beginning. She has to find her way too.

I believe that it is your choice and that she has played it ok. She has done what you asked her to do (and even a bit more).

I just read my post above and apologize if it sounded a bit too harsh. I know that you are going through difficult thoughts and considerations. Please be assured that my 2 cents were meant in a friendly way!

Thank you for the replies and thoughts.

I know that it is what I wanted, but the variant being that I thought we had agreed terms, and she went against them. I know the reasons why and accept it all.
We have spoken about the conflict of feelings as it were, and are back on the same page again.

I am happy for her to pick up things again, and she wants to at some point but is currently having one of her lows. She has always had these, this isn't anything brought on by the issues raised.
Once she pulls round, I'm hoping that she may feel like having a little fun again with someone. We will see.

bursting Good to hear. You'll make many adjustments along the way.... this will prove to be one of them. I look forward to more updates!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker