Getting the wife started

I have been a lurker on here for a while and have decided, just like a few others to write about trying to get my wife introduced into the lifestyle. Although my reamisters maybe a little unusual.

I never really thought about introducing other men in to our relationship and never fantasised over my wife with other men, that is all a much more recent idea and i will tell you why.

The reamister I am writing this is almost as much for me as anyone else, trying to get my head around why and how and also to get advice from you more seamistered veterans and other people like myself just starting out.

But first some background and I am sorry if it may take a while but please bear with me.

I married my wife when we were very young (both virgins) and we have now been married for over 32 years. Very happily too. However and incredibly, once married my wife was very uninterested in having sex with me. We literally didn't have sex on our honeymoon and not for several weeks after. I lived in an almost sexless marriage up until last year, 2013. More on that soon.

Not having sex was a terrible time for me and all my attempts at getting her interested failed. I asked her several times if she didn't fancy me and eventually she admitted that she didn't. I have to say I don't think I am ugly, I am a very fit man, even now at 52, I am fairly good looking, 5' 7", chest size around 44 inches and my waist is around 33 inches and dick size because I know you are all interested is 6". So not bad. But whatever it is, I simply don't turn her on. I think it may be more to do with my attitude because I have never been very dominant with her, always trying to please and in retrospect that may be the problem. Now of course in her mind I can't change because she knows me. I am and always will be her loving husband.

My wife will not talk about sex, she simply can't do it. If I try she goes red in the face and then covers it with her hands and hides from me. In my efforts to try and get her to open up to me and to talk about her likes and dislikes I once brought home some gay magazines, mainly because they had pictures of black guys with hard cocks, no hardcore stuff just modelling. I thought she might at least talk about them but no she was not interested, she wouldn't even take a look. Now, I need sex several times a day and now of an evening I masturbate next to her with some girly mags but this time my wife was very upset and said that she didn't like me looking at other women. Now, at a loss, what am I supposed to do, she doesn't have sex with me more than say once a month and that isn't great, now she doesn't want me to look at girly porn to get off to. So I asked her if she minded if I looked at the gay mags that we now had and she said that's ok because if I left her because of another man, there was nothing she could do about it, so it wasn't as much of a threat. Weird or what. I explained that I was not going to leave one way or the other.

But that was it, probably some ten to fifteen years ago and now I have no girl porn at all but loads of gay porn and I have to say I love it. I still love my wife and can still get an erection for her but I no longer get erections over other women and in fact the thought of penetration of another woman does not appeal in the slightest.

Hi Dutchfootfetish, Took a look and you have some great ideas. I still have more of my story to put up but i am going to use some of your suggestions and will let you know how they go. Thanks

I am sure some of you can already see how this ties up with cuckolding. As much as I love my wife and I really do, I know that I don't satisfy her properly and I love the male body, cocks and arses and everything about them. The idea of sharing my wife is just about the most intense thing I can think of. To kneel in front of a hung dom and share his cock, is like sharing my gayness with my wife. I am obviously still confused about whether I want to be cuckolded or just have a hot wife and I am still working on that.

Now I come to 2013. A female friend of hers lent her the book '50 shades of Grey'. Now, i don't want loads of replies saying how pathetic the book is. Because it doesn't matter, quite simply she read it. This is in itself amazing because she has never read anything like it before and if i had suggested it, she would have simply refused.

She had to keep asking me what the words meant, like Dom/Sub and fisting and all sorts. By the end of book three she ended up liking the main male character and considering what he was up to with his partner that's incredible. So i asked her if she felt that she was dominant or submissive and she replied that she was slightly submissive. Breakthrough!

Without her knowing i went out and bought some kit, including a blindfold and some wrist and ankle restraints that went under the bed. Also a vibrator and a few other toys.

Once i had the blind fold on the rest was accepted without complaint and she ended up enjoying herself with the vibrator and me. What a change. One day i even tied her hands, got her to kneel on the floor and she gave me a blow job whilst sitting on a large dildo.

This was the first time in our 32 years of marriage that she allowed a toy to be used.

In case any one is wondering this is a picture of my wife at 50.

On holiday - Cuba

Whatever gets her started. My girl hates that book but won't admit that it was a movie (and a poor one) that got her interested in being more sexually open that leads to sharing fantasies.

Please continue with your story, it sounds very hot. O, and your wife is hella hot.

Thanks demonic1000, this is how i felt. It doesn't matter what gets her going so long as something does.

Thanks Dutchfootfetish, I will.

So we tried it a couple of more times but i guess i am running out of ideas, so i decided to do a bit of searching on ep. I found discussion on sexless marriage's where a woman had divorced her 'wimp' as she called him of a husband and she went on to bemoan the lack of manly men.

Intrigued i started a chat and she said that a man for example shouldn't ask his wife if she wanted sex, he should simply take her and use her for his own satisfaction. I have to admit that when i initiated sex i invariably asked her because i find it difficult to take advantage. To me having sex without her agreement is like **** and i just can't do it.

On the other hand whenever i asked, she hated it and told me that i shouldn't ask because she couldn't say yes because she would be too embarrassed.

Quite the dilemma.

So i decided to find out if the lady was right. After the chat with her i was quite wound up and ready for a bit of dominant behaviour. That evening after my mister had popped out i told my wife that we were going upstairs and she said 'no we aren't', so i grabbed her arm and led her to the bedroom.

She was smiling but not happy so ignoring her i put her down on the bed and stripped her. I pulled out the straps from under our mattress and placed them on her wrists and ankles. Fortunately my wife is quite small and i am a big muscly guy.

She kept on saying get off etc, so i put the blindfold on her, which sometimes calms her down but not this time, she wouldn't stop complaining, so being in this dominant mood i told her either she stops talking or i would gag her. Well, that didn't go down too well either. By now i am beginning to wonder whether my life is going to be worth living after this lot.


She did stop talking. So here she is strapped to the bed, blindfold on and unable to move. so i start the foreplay and after about 20 minutes, she was still having none of it.

So i gave that up as bad idea.

Actually it didn't cause me any backlash, which i had expected. If anything she thought it was quite funny. So not really sure what to make of it.

Well i didn't get any sex out of it but i learnt a few things.

First, Make sure the room is warm enough to take her clothes off!
Two, She is only sub when she wants to be!!!!
and lastly she didn't get mad??????

A few nights later after that episode i said we are going upstairs, you noticed that i didn't tell her i just said we are going upstairs. I know it's a subtle difference but i think when my wife says she is a bit sub, she really means 'a bit'.

I stripped her and spent some time warming her up and we had great sex. No D/s stuff, no toys just a good suck and fuck.

I read on here somewhere that if you leave a long time between having sex a woman's libido tends to go down, so time to put it to the test. Don't forget that I am in a sexless marriage which is described as less than once a month.

So we had sex on wednesday, then the next night i initiated sex again and this time used a dildo on her and she had a nice orgasm with it. This of course is now twice in one week, almost unheard of for us. Well, the next morning we had sex again, no toys just my fingers and cock. She told me that she had lots of orgasms. She was a little overwhelmed by them and dizzy,

Since then very little has happened on the sub front, I really think that my wife simply can't be sub to me even though we have played a couple of times. It seems to me that she knows me and knows that I am her loving husband, it simply doesn't work for her to be submissive to me.

I would like to get hold of some good cuckold dvd's does any one know of any good one's that the wife might like.

Seriously, seek professionally counseling before you cause damage to your relationship. Your desire for cuckolding could simply be out of sexual frustration. You need to work and tackle a lot of other emotional and intimacy issues before you gone the down of polyamarous relationship.

Eju, Have i made a mistake, is this a site for people with cuckolding interests or not???

Mistake...

Yes this site is obviously for cuckolding...

However, not every partner is up to it or ready for it. It's a fringe thing and can really be off putting to a lot of women. No matter how her male partner see's it.

The lack of sex in your relationship doesn't seem to be related to your wifes interest in you or wanting another partner etc. She seems from what you have written and my interpretation of that and reading between the lines is that she needs time and experience (practice) to open up.

I do not see how cuckolding is going to help you any in getting more sex in your permisteral life and how it will help her become a more sexual permister. It appears as though she may have some sort of mental block in place which could come from many many different reamisters.

But that just my opinion and I hope it works out for you and her.. from the 2 pics you've posted that i've seen.. she seems to have an awesome body and would be cool to cuck you with ..

Thanks for your reply. Sometimes it is more helpful to get a more comprehensive reply than just get some counselling.

Your thoughts are well taken with regards to my wifes lake of experience and i think that most of our problem stems from the fact that we where both virgins when we married and neither of us has had enough experience to open up.

I am not in a rush and plan on taking lots of help from others. The help i have had from members here and on the experience project 'EP' has already improved our sex life beyond recognition. We have had more sex in the last three months than in the last twenty years!!!

Most of which i will get to in my next post.

I joined cuckold place because it seems to be full of people who enjoy watching/participating in consensual play with other men and fits my needs perfectly.

So, i have been trying to get my wife interested in having sex with other men but understandably she hasn't been receptive about it.

I have read that often women immediately think that their husbands are no longer interested in them or that they want to have an affair with other women. In my case neither is true. I have no interest whatsoever in sex with any other woman and i love my wife very much. I do though want to have sex with the other man and the idea of a cream-pie is just amazing. I love tasting my wife, so the two together is just mind blowing.

My wife has told me before, that she is not attracted to any other man and the only thing she really likes on a man is muscles and a six pack, which is why she likes Hugh Jackman....... I have the muscles but not a six pack, but even so she still maintains that she is not turned sexually by Jackman!!!!

So i asked if she liked pictures of hard cocks and she says no, so i asked why is it that i like pictures of big hard cocks and she doesn't and she answered because you're gay. So if i am gay because i like pictures of hard cocks that must make my wife a Lesbian because she doesn't!!!!!!!

That didn't go down too well.

So about a week or so ago, i decided to let my wife know of my interest in having a threesome with another guy (I didn't want to bring up cuckolding just yet), and i had the reaction that most every beginner to cuckolding gets on this site.

She didn't speak to me for about a day but i wouldn't allow that to fester, so i sat her down and told her how i felt about her and that i was not interested in other women and that the other guy is for her pleasure. Mine is in seeing her enjoy her self.

So based on the help i have had here, i am now reassuring my wife how much i love her and need her. For the last week or so I have tried to be a more considerate husband. I have been cooking the evening meals, trying to keep the house a bit tidier and paying lots of close attention to my wife.

Wow, the difference in her is amazing. I always thought that i was attentive but giving that little bit extra has worked wonders.

After just a couple of days to settle things down, when in bed i gave her a back rub and told her that there are no consequences to it. I spent around a half hour on her back, lower back back side and upper thighs. When i was massaging around her pussy i ensured she was feeling good but i didn't want to take it any further. My intentions where to try and keep her needy!!

The next night i massaged her again but when i got to her pussy she went into overdrive and i couldn't calm her down, she had a whopping orgasm and insisted i got on and fucked her. The thing is that she does that only for me because in 30 odd years of marriage, she has never cum from being fucked by me.

A lot of suggestions here are to always give your wife little orgasms but to leave her wanting. That is nowhere near as easy as it sounds. I don't cum quick and i can cum multiple times, so when instigating sex, how do you keep the orgasms low?