Honest Questions.

This is not intended to mock anyone. Its a honest question that may have many answers.

What is the appeal of being humiliated? Or being put in some cock cage?
Or blacks being the superior race?
Or being bullied?

I understand the sexual part of most of this but not the rest. Just curious

I think its a little different for each of us.

The offense part for me is a release of my usual place in everyday life. I am a supervisor at work (50+ employee's), and have a responsibility to over 4000 other people. I am in charge (mostly) at home, with most decisions going through a discussion process and me making the final decision. If you will, I am the "head" of the household. When my wife does take control, it is a welcome release for me to not be in charge, to feel helpless to control the situation. Its an exact opposite to my normal feelings. Although, my offense is mild as compared to others here. The cock cage goes along with the offense for me. To have someone control me quietly as I am outwardly controlling others.

As far as the "black" thing, it for me is the taboo of the situation. While interracial relationships are not as scrutinized as they use to be, it still is for many a no-no. It really comes down to a societal thing, "we are doing something naughty, something that we shouldn't be doing".

For us husbands, most of us are brought up to protect our wives. Keep them safe from other men (predators). We are to be tough, kick the other guys ass...etc. When you just sit back and watch another man "take" your wife from you, its in complete competition for what we are tought our whole lives. The feelings of "I should be kicking that guys ass" and the feelings of "this is so hot, watching that guy fuck my wife", is what I would call the "cuckold angst".

Well said Allen. Just like a massage can relax the muscles, cuckolding/offense can relax the brain.
Each permister has a slightly different perspective on this. I for instance don't find the racial things so often seen with cuckolding to get me horny. I do enjoy seeing men with bigger dicks and more sexdrive, don't care about the race.

To me it also just comes down to searching for what you feel excitement for. Experimenting. Variation in sexlife is very welcome for me. I'm not the guy to have vanilla sex all the time. After 20 nights or so, I become totally bored.

I'll get a knot in my stomach whenever a beautiful woman humiliates me. It sends me in a trance. Women who appear very powerful are the ones I find sexy. Women I find beautiful to watch and who don't show any affection towards me turn me on as well.

I think the answers are in our nature. All we are rewarded with pleasure when we do something useful for the preservation of the species. Nature puts males in competition to ensure the supremacy of the strongest genes. When someone is "defeated" and a "better" male takes the sexual possession of the female, then the pecking order will have been fulfilled, and the nature reward with pleasure to all parties, including the defeated male. Humiliation emphasizes that everyone has been put in his place for the benefit of the species.

Under this idea, it's natural to ask why then don't all males feel pleasure when are "defeated". Perhaps all males actually feel that pleasure, but in some cases it is overshadowed for cultural reamisters, such as sense of "honor" or "manhood". So, the combination of nature and education in each individual, shape his reaction when he's cuckolded.

May be.
It's obvious that English is not my native language. Sorry for any inconvenience. My blog (spanish): http://keratafilia.blogspot.com

This is beyond explanation. Within the cuckold lifestyle there are as many likes and dislikes as there are colors of cars. Why do some like red cars but others like blue? Were you a Ginger or a Mary Ann lover as a kid when watching Gilligan’s Island? I actually like both, the girl next door, and the slut look, but if you're good you can have both and let the slut out of the girl next door. But I have to say I was not into Mrs. Howell!

Who cares, do what makes you feel good and throw away everything else.

This is a great question and very informative discussion.
I myself am not into the offense aspect at all. Yet I get that extra sexual excitment seeing my wife (Asian) being fucked by other men (of which I set up). The ethnicity of the other male makes no difference or who's cock is bigger.
For me, it's wanting my wife to act like a nympho slut. If she's a slut then taking 2 or more cocks shouldn't be offensive to her, she should actually look forward to it. Her looking forward to it is also a mental turn-on.

So am I a cuck?

Probably the majority of posts are written by wankers that clearly have no woman and no real experience in interacting with and understanding women. I've met a few ladies that were outside the lines but never met a woman who wouldn't bash you in the face if you described her like some here do their "wife" or "gf". My guess is that many bully, BBC and offense fanatics are exercising their own homosexual fantasies while hiding behind their wifes "skirt". This "skirt" is magical in that can fit any "woman" and yet cleverly disguises itself as a glove!

Chastity and sexual denial is completely different. Some men are very undersexed or zero libido. Other men may not like the intense sensations of sex. There are infinite reamisters that some men find comfort and security behind their locked genitals. Denial of sex from a wife can be an incredible masochistic rush for hubby and very empowering for her. Things are cool as long as the wife is on board with the idea, happy and satisfied.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Honest answers:


We all (humans) carry around the fear of being rejected or found inadequate by others – friends, family, partners, neighbors, strangers, colleagues, society at large, etc. Some people feel this fear more keenly than others because of the experience, upbringing, permisterality, whatever. For some, it can become a dread so intense it is psychologically or emotionally overwhelming.

Sexual fetishes are the eroticization of fears. When something is so scary to our psyche that confronting it overwhelms or burns out our ability to function rationally, our brain can protect itself by associating the feared thing with sexual excitement. Doing so triggers the body to release all those feel-good chemicals associated with arousal, which ease the situation and prevents (or at least delays) your psyche from crashing like overstressed software. Overtime, the association of humiliating experiences with feel-good effects will increase in a pavlovian pattern.

So: Some people who, for a are very sensitive to the fear of rejection and disapproval will subconsciously eroticize the fear with the result that they get turned-on by thoughts or experiences of offense.


The appeal of a cock cage is that it transfers control of your sexual organ to another permister. This can have at least two benefits to the BDSM fetishist; in the first place it demonstrates their surrender to (or subjugation by) another, which can fuel any fetish they have for presentation or offense along the lines described above. Second, (like the world’s most common sexual fantasy, being overpowered) it can help them feel absolved of some responsibility for their sexuality.

BDSM play in general is a form of escapism like gong to the movies (only more intense,) or takeing yourself stupid (only less intense.) Escapism is a prominent feature of modern life because of the heavy level of decision-making contemporary society requires. Think of it this way: In Medieval Europe a man had few choices he really needed to grapple with and make. His station in life, his profession, his marriage partner, almost all the details of his quotidian existence were mostly out of his hands. (The phrase “what do you feel like ordering for dinner tonight” wasn’t heard much back then.) Today, even the task of filling the larder is a head-spinning steeplechase of deciding what to eat, which brand to get and then, which variety within that brand. (You don’t buy cookies now. You don’t even buy Oreos. You have to buy one of a dozen types of Oreos!) And those are trivial choices. Did you say the right thing in the meeting or interview?, did you buy the right house?, did you marry “the one?,” did you go to the right school?, choose the right career?, should you have had another young? Our lives are filled with choices that we believe define who we are to ourselves and others (and will determine whether we are accepted or rejected.)

This “status anxiety” is a defining aspect of human society and is particularly acute our times. But being reduced in status means being taken out of the “rat-race;” escaping those pressures. Slaves are not equals and therefore are not expected to compete, to “measure up,” to “take it like a man,” to “come out on top” everyday in everyway. You are relieved of all that and need to meet only the limited and clearly defined expectations of your new much shrunken world. If you are being beaten, the world shrinks to just the immediate physical – just this pain. If you are slave, all you must do is obey. If you are a “sissy,” you no longer need to “be a man.” This is escape into an identity that is smaller and therefore less inhibited sexually.

It is also, of course, humiliating to be reduced in status, which is where some serious kinky fetish fun is created!


The offense dimension of status anxiety is also where race comes in. It is the official ideology of our world today that we should all be equal regardless of race, creed, color, sex, gender, orientation, etc. But we all know that this is not how it really is (at least not yet.) For instance, “blacks” (as you call them) do not enjoy the privileges, liberty, or material advantages of whites and all of us carry around a lot of out-of-date racist cultural baggage as well. As a general rule, whites continue to have higher status in our very imperfect world.

It is therefore inherently humiliating to many whites to be beaten (in competition) by blacks. As it is likewise humiliating to be subjugated by women, gays, poor people, servants and people in low-status jobs (like janitors, gardeners, pool cleaners, mechanics, and secretaries, to name a few tropes popular in porny fantasies,) primisterers, people who are so young or so old as to be in less than full authority, and any other sub-group that is more marginalized, demonized, or generally constricted in our society than the one you identify with.

Which brings us right back to the whole thing about fears and eroticizing them. Feel of rejection; fear of exile; fear of status loss; fear of those less privileged; fear of the other: It can all be fodder for hotwiring your libido through fetish.

I hope that helps some! Good luck in your inquiry into this. It is a fascinating topic!
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Not into pain, bondage, offense nor anything like that, but the mere vision of my wife taking on another male sexually just does unbelievably pleasurable things to my entire being! It's like I'm a slave to these feelings which I cannot control...every part of my body "talks" to me...when I get that vision of a strange cock entering my wife immediately about a thousand butterflies start dancing around in my stomach...my cock becomes ROCK HARD...my mouth salivates...I become transfixed in the image....there is nowhere else in the world where I would rather be...there is no better vision anywhere, no better feeling than what I am feeling at that time, bar none. I just would not trade the experience for ANYTHING!!