Reality Time

To start, I am openly hetero-flexible with my wife, and we have fantasized about having threesomes where she gets fucked until she can't take anymore, and then she sends the bull to me for me to finish him off. We both agree that this is very hot. I've fantasized about being dolled up and made to ride a fake cock while I watch her get pounded. She fucks me about every other week with a strap-on. All of these things = hot fantasy/role-play.

Well, the other night, I made the comment that sometimes while we're having sex, I really wish my dick was bigger for her. Then, she mentioned to me that she wants more "variety" in her sex life, and that she has considered taking on a lover. What's more is that she doesn't think she could get off with me watching because she says she would be too self conscious. She assures me it would be purely NSA physical, and that she would never want to risk losing what we share. I believe her, but I also know that emotional attachments can form even when they're not intended.

I'm not even sure I think having a threesome is the smartest idea. Hot? Of course. Does that mean we should go forward? I don't know. I feel like there are long-term risks being held in the balance for very short-term rewards. There's an entrance of risks like the risk of an abusive partner, STDs, very unwanted pregnancies. Even with condoms, there are risks introduced to our bed.

My anxiety is up. I'm literally sick thinking about it. I love her, and if she wants to take on other lovers, I desperately would like to make peace with that fact and become her faithful loving cuck.

We have a wonderfully open line of communication, and I never want to jeopardize that. I have brought up the dueling emotions I'm experiencing, and I asked her for permission to post this which she will read later tonight.

I know we could both have some amazing immediate sexual gratification, but I also have an Alpha male inside of me saying "FUCK THAT!!," and I feel like the only way to calm this masculine side of me is to reinpower my feminine side by sexualizing her extramarital encounters with superior males through sissy rituals. She is of the opinion that that's a fucked up head game that she doesn't want to play. She is the boss, and I do what she says.

I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her. That means I want her to be happy, but that also means I don't want to risk losing her or losing my feelings for her in the long run through feelings of emotional betrayal from poorly handled cuckold anxiety.

I have read all about the realities of the cuckold lifestyle with respect to the jealousy I'm already feeling. I want to calm it. I want her to have what she wants and totally commit to the lifestyle so that we can move forward. What's the answer? Time? Going through it? Meditation?

This is not fantasy time, so please no "Get over it wimp" comments. I am genuinely interested in the perspectives of the Bulls, Cuckolds, and Wives who have been in or have experience with this lifestyle.
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Not many comments of any kind
You need to trust her, and pick out the "right" man, who will provide sexual services as requested, but will not be the kind of man she could live with, so you don't have to worry about that (see Illicit desires or 5 days in Florida from the great GH).
One criteria as well is how close he lives from your place, depending on how frequently she would like to see him (weelky or more frequent, monthly, once-off...), and if you're ready to bump into him when in town. The meeting place can be important too, between his place, neutral ground or your place. Don't push on watching for the first time, as it adds pressure on her, it might be arranged at a later date when she is more comfortable.
No matter what you do, there will always be risks, and the fact that you're present will not remove them all (e.g. sexual diseases, condom tear...). If the guy is a regular, and does not have other outside lovers, he can be tested to remoce some wories, but you will never be able to control everything, just be cautious, trust your wife and keep talking!

Fantasizer- your reactions sound like you are pretty nervous, and, as much as you enjoy the thought, you still have a serious reaction against the idea- not just the normal "let down" "disgusted with myself" thoughts you can get after you cum- it sounds like you have a more alpha-male attitude. I know the feeling- how did I get over it? I didn't. I adapted it. I'm a "top", but I like to see my wife enjoy herself, I love the idea of her being stretched out until she can barely breath. How do you get your fantasy, without the jealousy? First- control. Letting her play, but on terms you agree to, and are comfortable with (maybe just letting her have a make out session, or just an oral date first?, but pics, or you watching?). You are trying to go from fantasy, to full-scale 3-some. Too fast. Slow it down. Let the trust be built over time; I've been with my woman for 2 years, still only does oral swinging, with pics. Why? because that is what we are both comfortable with. Think hard about what you would be ok with- no "rage" reaction, and talk about it. If you are both cool with it- try it. Avoid friends, family, and co-workers for this step- if you screw up, you need to be able to "walk away" from the guy you involved.

Reality is... Wanking fantasies are just that; fantasies. I suggest that you try another man's wife before you put your own wife out there. It may be you will discover wifey and her lover are not on the same page as you. Wanking is like listening to your favorite music on headphones. You think everyone is digging the tunes... Until you take them off and realize that everyone else don't give a flying cuckolds brownie about you or your music. Reality...
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

STDS are a major concern. And even with testing, he can't be tested for HPV and could pass it to your wife. Condoms won't protect against herpes II or HPV. And if you could feel confident the guy was clean (I don't see how unless he is a virgin) There should be no alone time with them where they can emotionally bond. She's a woman, and she will bond with him if he's fucking her and being intimate. Really, he should come to the house, fuck her in the other room, where you can hear. And then leave after an hour or two where she has you thank him at the door for fucking her how you never could. Rinse and repeat.

Do you have any update, did you get a chance to discuss it further with your wife?

She has asked for me to drop it for now. She says it's not something I can handle. I am going to continue making my peace with the scenario and when the time comes that the subject is brought up again, I will be better prepared emotionally.

Thank you for your comments. I've mainly been on this site as an observer because of the wealth of interest I share in strap-on sex. I have often enjoyed the fantasy of being a cuckold, and I have decided to trust and love my wife no matter what happens next.
[email protected] ~ Check out our podcast at http://cuckcast.com

Thank you for your update, and good luck, you have a great wife!