For those who taken the plunge: what surprised you most?

For those of you who have actually experimented (or even perhaps have mastered!) this or a like lifestyle, I pose this question for discussion:

What about the experience or even about the overall lifestyle caught you by surprise? What surprised you? What would you have never guessed to be true? Both good and bad. Not limited to number of answers, supporting detailed anecdotes encouraged.

A surprising number of things surprised me. Among them...


--No Guit/Shame--
I think I expected to feel some "shame" or "guilt" about letting my wife get off with other men. At the least, a slight feeling of embarrassment when I would think about it in public.

To the contrary, I remember feeling proud that I'd faced down a fear most people can never deal with. I remember being in a crowd, thinking "I have an insight most of you will probably never have..." Even during activities it was surprisingly comfortable good fun with no weird vibes.


--"Watching" after having already cum--
Don't I wish. Because actually, I could usually just listen, at best, and that was even just occasionally... but when this circumstance arose...

In my ridiculous naivity, I once actually thought my horniness and enthusiasm would diminish after I had jerked off while listening to or watching my wife's fun. Oh god damn that was sure wrong!

When my wife was sharing her sweet, whispered charms with another man, it was so sexy that no matter what, her sounds or candlelight seductive magic would be erotic- and I mean off the SCALE erotic- and have me rock hard again no matter what.

It simply wasn't possible to be so "done" as to not be driven delirious by what followed next round. So guys, let me assure you not to worry on that one if you are truly mesmerized by your goddess. That whole topic makes me laugh out loud now!


--Wife's teen-like and... fucking really cute... crushes--

Once my gorgeous wife truly understood that she was really and totally free to chase men- with no limits imposed whatsoever, she eagerly set about exploring the world of male bodies and s*******s with an almost old fashioned sort of "hobbyist" type of enthrallment and uncontainable enthusiasm. She would soon become an amateur expert.

Maybe I expected her to be out and fucking around a bit just here and there. Intense little 2-hour adventures soon forgotten. Late night afterparty playfulness, etc.

But what I did NOT expect was to see her almost instantly fall into the cutest "schoolgirl crush" I've ever seen. She was completely infatuated, lustbound, giggly... cute but made my heart skip as I saw how hung up she was on this man. She went through a series of these before she found one really special guy. They had a serious and extremely passionate relationship, almost to the point of being scary for me, for years. But it was so intensely beautiful that I pledged my support for whatever life she chose.


--A default "No Watching" rule early on--

I was very surprised and more than a little bit dismayed when my wife, early on in our adventures, announced that I would no longer be allowed to watch her with her men. Almost none were really okay with it, and she didn't think it was fair to them to be burdened with such a distraction as some husband guy watching.

One night as she was getting ready to leave for his place, she leaned forward to kiss me goodbye. She was wearing my favorite dress, and though not crazily lowcut, it showed her huge breasts straining in her sexy lace bra when she leaned forward. She let me get a long look, then shoved her cleavage into my face, giggling and taunting.

"Does it bother you that I'm more concerned with the wishes of my lovers than with your need to watch? And don't even think for one second I'm going to come home and tell you all the details."


--The sight of my wife, in our bed- arelax sheltered in the muscular arms of another man --

Some weekday morning memory...
She was so satisfied by the time they stopped fucking that she was just out of it. Our teenaged kids would be waking soon for school, and I went into the bedroom when things got quiet, to make sure they'd not fallen arelax.

My wife was arelax but in lightrelax dreamland. I can picture it perfectly even still. They were spooned laying on their left sides. She was totally glowing with satisfaction even as she drifted off, still occasionally shaking with distant minor "after shocks" from the earthshaking multiple orgasm that had probably awakened the entire west side of town earlier.


--Learning anal from her other man --

The least likely thing ever, huge surprise on this one. Very early on in our relationship, my wife and I had experimented with anal sex. Once, anyway. Being young and having no clue, we didn't even know to use lube, and so it was uncomfortable, unsuccessful, and was discarded forever as not for us.

It's so "classic story" in nature that I didn't even imagine it really happening, but my wife learned the joys of getting butt fucked through another man. Very quickly she became almost fiendish in her need to be assfucked by this master in that art.

I'll never forget the first time she fucked him. It was the first night she spent with the guy who became her long term other dude. She went to his place for dinner and whatever might follow, and they ended up fucking on and off all night long and she didn't get home until the morning sky was glow with the dawn.

She was literally walking funny, she'd been so overfucked. She looked completely exhausted, so much so I was at first startled and immediately worried- she looked like she'd been crying. I met her at the door, but once inside she just sort of leaned back against the wall, too tired to even really stand, eyes closed, saying "We gotta talk later, right now I must relax." Her voice was hoarse, it hardly sounded like her. And she sounded robotic. She was literally falling arelax standing. I asked her... um, did you, um...

"He fucked me all night... in BOTH holes." She sighed dreamily and staggered to the bed. There she collapsed, still wearing my favorite dress. She was instantly arelax without another motion.

I covered her so she wouldn't get cold, and got under the blankets too. I laid my head on her thigh and nuggled on her smooth legs and toyed with the hemline of this dress she was still wearing. There was a different and totally unfamiliar smell that overpowered me. I later learned that this was the KY lubricant... and that the sexual experience she had that night was simply the best experience of any type ever in her whole life- by far, she said, with no comparimisters.

So I guess that's another one for the list right there- I was surprised that she could find a better lover than me because she always said I was best by far. Butt that's how it happened.

Surprised I am also of the smell of KY jel after it's been used heavily and fucked and steamed out of hot passionate butthole.


--In retrospect it's the hardest fact/observation for me... --

At one point, at her peak sexual frenzy with her main man, she flat out told me that she thought that any day he would ask her to leave me, and move into the house he'd just bought- a four bedroom house for a 22-ish single (though wealthy) man? It was pretty clear that he planned to ask her to leave me and move in with him.

She told me that she loved me more than ever, but she didn't know if she could resist the dream man of a lifetime. There was no doubt she loved me with all her heart and soul... but she had loved being fucked and fucked and fucked and FUCKED by this man, and her passion made her fall for him head over heals (or wouldn't it be heels over head?).

"I love you and don't want to scare you but I just have to warn you, if he makes me choose between you two, I don't know what I will do."

It's really true that I totally loved her and assured her I would help her with whatever life challenges without interfering in any way with her most passionate dreams. I meant it... the depth of my love can't be contained by even a stormy ocean.

My dear sweetheart, mistress of the craziest storms, had an alternative to suggest if such a demand came down.

My wife would try to convince her man to let me move into one of the extra bedrooms in her lover's new house and be their servant. Or slave. Maybe even bedroom bedside permisteral assistant. I would be kept chained or tied at all times, and spend most hours in a small cage in their bedroom.

"If you get pushy about watching, better be sure you're ready to get what you fucking asked for" she warned.

However, she warned that he'd not go for any of this anyway, most likely. But she would try if I was willing to truly submit to her and be like a little obedient puppy to her.


--The mind-expanding power of being powerd to only LISTEN to wife with her man/men --

Another huge surprise for me was the power of the tiniest sounds when listening to lovemaking. One time when I got to just listen, they were at first whispering to each other. It taunted me to not hear their flirting. Then it was silent.

The silence went on and on and I could hear my heart pounding as I realized they were kissing. Still it remained silent. Kissing... yes then I could actually hear their lips smacking and not quietly either.

In my imagination I'd never heard all that lip action and slurping of tongues. But what drove me into delirium were the cute little moans, sighs, and tiny whimpers... and hearing every breath. One's mind can fill in a lot, turning the whole experience into an almost trip of an experience.

Those cute little giggles, whispers that I could not hear, it went on and on and I knew my wife was having one of the most fun times of her whole life. And I was more than okay with that.

I'd had fantasies of moaning and groaning and shrieking and screaming from my wife's throat, but had never properly gauged the effects of those kisses, whimpers, and whispered passions.

A great many other things surprised me too, but that's a few that come to mind. More later if thread evolves for it.
Be the different drummer.

For those who taken the plunge: what surprised you most?

1.)
A cuck to my GF - A bull to all other women

sorry about the last response....

Trying again:

For those who taken the plunge: what surprised you most?

1) How fucking horney and hard I got, and very surprised about the amounts of pre cum I produced
2) what a slut my wife really is (compared to the 'innocent' girl I once falled in love with)


A cuck to my GF - A bull to all other women

For me it was the fact of how much of a devoted slutpig she became for her lover. It took 6 months for her to become comfortable playing with him. She was very shy at first but I encouraged her by constantly telling her how much it turned me on to watch her. Once she reached that comfort zone there was no holding her back. It quickly got to the point of her asking me to call him and invite him over rather than me suggesting it.
She loved everyting about him and loved his large uncut cock and couldn't get her fill of sucking it. Whenever he was with us, she was his, first and foremost. It was like I wasn't even there. I knew she was completely his the day she first licked his asshole, something she has never ever done for me. She was kneeling between his legs as he sat on her sofa and sucking his cock and balls, when without warning, she simply lifted his legs up and buried her tongue in his asshole. We had never discussed anything to do with this but here she was doing it and she did it hundreds of times for him over the years.
Surprised? Yes, I never imagined this sweet innocent virgin I had married could become such a slut for another man and service him like a whore for 23 years.

Formerly innocent, now a slutpig

1. How excited I was when she was doing it. (I never was able to watch, that was her choice.)

2. How much she needed to feel something for a man before she did it with him. Didn't have to be love, but she did have to like him.

3. How willing she was to date guys but not relax with them. She did a lot of dating, but was very selective when it came to sexual partners.

4. How much she thought that guys wouldn't want to have sex with a woman who is attached. (I don't think she ever figured that part out.)

Yes, sadly, these comments are in the past tense. She's not seeing anyone right now and not looking, though I have told her I would like her to. (The initial dating was her idea, as was the agreement years ago that we would always have an open relationship.)

xoxoxo

a few surprises come to mind:
1. how much of a dirty slut she can really be
2.how she has no shame when she is in slut mode.
3. how many guys have no shame or care about fucking another mans wife, especially if they think I don't know.
4. the biggest surprise though is that a few of my friends/acquaintances have fucked my wife, thinking it was behind my back, and have faced me the next day straight faced.

<< 3. how many guys have no shame or care about fucking another mans wife, especially if they think I don't know.
4. the biggest surprise though is that a few of my friends/acquaintances have fucked my wife, thinking it was behind my back, and have faced me the next day straight faced. >>

That is sooo true! There are a lot of guys who will do whatever they think they can get away with, when it comes to sex.

The irony is that many women are the same way, though they generally aren't seen that way. I think that's the reamister that there are so much youngren whose biological man is not who they're told it is.

xoxoxo

"3. how many guys have no shame or care about fucking another mans wife, especially if they think I don't know."

It is very surprising indeed. In fact many men will NOT fuck her if they know that I know and that I am OK with it. They PREFER it to be behind my back! The truth is it's all about their EGO and has nothing to do with sex. So sad...

ChaosFire

Nah... It's not like that at all.

When a friend's wife comes to you feeling she needs attention; you weigh the situation. Should they decide to hook up, hubby is no longer sexually relevant to either of them. He is forgotten and not discussed during the tryst. Only her being attended to by her lover is where their attention dwells. Throw hubby in the mix and it becomes three's a crowd. One man may think he has a friend, the other man may think he's just an acquaintence. Pussy? Pal? How would you decide if you were in his shoes?

The hubby and wife trolling her pussy are playing his friends; not vice-versa .


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..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

The above is an odd viewpoint... A "friend" who will fuck a buddy's wife behind his back is a scumbag. One who may or may not *with permission*, but would *never* without is a good guy. Fucking a friends wife behind his back may make him *seem* to disappear... That is until you're looking at the barrel of a 9mm

Well, my experience tells me different.
My wife and a guy from her work fucked once. It was great sex enjoyed by both of them. He fucked her all night long and she was back to me in the morning. They wanted to continue but the issue is that.. I know. Once he learned that she tells me everything he backed down. We are not friends - I've never seen him and he never saw me either. He is married and cheats on his wife but because my wife doesn't lie to me and doesn't want to lie him too he basically retreated. There were no obstacles for him to fuck her but yet he was not able to continue... exactly because of that. Isn't that ironical?
On another occasion (my birthday ) a friend of ours asked her if she wanted to have sex with him. But... the condition was that she should not tell me although he knows I am OK with it.
My theory is that it is all related to the permister self-esteem. A true bull has nothing to prove but he just enjoys fucking a hot chick. He prefers there are no complications and if hubby is OK with it - even better.
Judging from now nearly two years of experience in threesomes, 4some, swinging... I had found that there are few true bulls out there. Most of the men are big on words but "on the field" they don't live up to the expectations. Making love when there are other permisters in the room is hard for most. For some its even a problem if I am in the same apartment. Many are not really OK their intimate secrets to be shared with a third permister even if he is not present at all during the sexual intercourse. The root cause seems a lack of self-esteem. Being uncomfortable to be revealed to some stranger so that he can witness your success.. or failure...... ;)
If you are confident as a man then you will not be worried by such circumstances.

What surprised me? In no particular order:

1. How easily cuckolding, and all our kinky reordering of the relationship, came to seem and feel very normal to us. Really what normal straight people we are and are seen as despite this.

2. How many people we knew were willing to accept our new lifestyle. (Not everyone by a long shot, but more than I expected.)

3. How little curiosity most of those people displayed - whether you want to rate it respect for privacy, fear of the kink, or just "I don't want the details," I really thought they would want more details.

4. How quickly the delicious shame of cuckolding dissipated and I needed more offense beyond the fact itself.

5. How few of her boyfriends were interested in my being involved in any way (watching, participating, etc.), especially how few were interested in dominating or humiliating me.

6. How boring it could get watching other men fuck my wife. I mean it was hot at first, but I found my interest wandering when the sessions would go on a long time or when I'd seen it all recently.

7. How easy and stress-free it was for her to give up sex with me forever. It wasn't entirely easy or stress-free, but looking back, it was really pretty easy.

8. That she would sometimes go for extended periods without bothering to get boyfriends/lovers. Really, sex was no where near as important to her as it was to me.

9. That my wife kissing and cuddling another man, sharing secrets with him, socializing as a couple with others without me, would be a much more powerful impact emotionally and psychologically then him fucking her.

10. That it really was possible to use my submissiveness to reorient my sexual imagination towards homosexual.

11. That I would get to the point where I was willing, in fact hoping, that she fall in love with another man and choose him over me just for the ultimate thrill of it.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

-> thebitbucket: << Fucking a friends wife behind his back may make him *seem* to disappear... That is until you're looking at the barrel of a 9mm >>

I think that's why those guys don't want the husband to know. If hubby knows and is okay with it, what happens if he changes his mind tomorrow? It's easier to think about doing it behind his back.

-> MrsBlackBlowupDoll:
<< 9. That my wife kissing and cuddling another man, sharing secrets with him, socializing as a couple with others without me, would be a much more powerful impact emotionally and psychologically then him fucking her.>>

<< 11. That I would get to the point where I was willing, in fact hoping, that she fall in love with another man and choose him over me just for the ultimate thrill of it. >>

I think your points 9 and 11 are on the same subject. It's the intimacy issue, as opposed to just sex. It's hotter if you might completely lose her to him.

My GF told me a couple of years that if she fell in love with a BF and moved out to be with him, she would stay in touch with me, to let me know all the girlfriend-type details. I told her I would be completely okay with it, of course.

<< 10. That it really was possible to use my submissiveness to reorient my sexual imagination towards homosexual. >>

If you're bisexual in the first place (as I am) it's not a big shift. ;)

xoxoxo

thebitbucket

Not an odd viewpoint at all. These are the thoughts and observations of a kid who has nailed his fair share of wives. You are correct that a friend secretly fucking a buddy's wife is a scumbag where one that would never tag her without permission is a good guy. Take this on faith: When your wife and another man trysts - with or without "permission" - you don't "seem" to disappear, sexually you don't even exist!

When your wife chooses another man (or men) for her "back door" lover, SHE is the one selling YOU out by secretly being a scumbag for your friends!

You are again correct when you state that backstabbing, adulterous "friends" find themselves on the wrong side of a 9mm, often to their own deaths. We've maintained all along that far more people are *******ed and jailed for adultery each year than there are members of CuckoldPlace website.


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..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

We have a couple of simple rules. One is that she can have sex with whomever she wants, while I can only have sex with her unless one of her men want oral or anal from me.

What is surprising is how much I crave cock.

ChaosFire


Nah... Again you miss the point, my friend!

Making love to a woman absorbs 100% of the man's attention. When hubby is within the sphere of the tryst, the wife often feels restrained to properly express her sexual responses. She feels uncomfortable even being seen naked by her husband. Hubby's presence often only throws a wet blanket over the tryst because the undivided attention of a 2 permister party is disturbed for no good reamister. You want to service your wife? Fine! You want ME to service your wife? Step aside, little man!

I am plenty confident and have all the self-esteem required to satisfy a woman should she desire my attentions. I am obligated to provide her pleasure and she alone decides whether I can ring the bell or not. I have no need for another man to "witness" my lovemaking capabilities. Her walking around her house for the next couple of weeks singing happily is all the "testimony" I need!

Thing you must remember is that adding a 3rd party greatly alters the dynamics of any relationship. When that 3rd man is the sexual dominant, the woman is guaranteed to be divided between her two men. Now hubby is getting less than 100% of her desire as she must factor a portion of her devotion to her new lover.

Oftentimes things add up to a house divided.


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..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

sc03

Gotta agree with #1 and #2. It is amazing how quick she can become slutty, shameless, brazen and wanton in her lust for other men. Also the speed she becomes indifferent to hubby's feelings about the matter. Lots of men let the genie out of the bottle, very few can get the genie back in. Once she gains momentum and inertia...


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..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Hmm.. Nope. I've never seen her feel that way. She is all into it and her sexual responses are so natural and strong that (to get back to the main question in this thread) I was really surprised when I saw her the first time. But anyway as I said - I was not present when she met her lover.


Well, good for you! I was not referring to you in any way because I don't know you. Just my observations from different encounters.


That is exactly what we tried to do the last time but this guy chickened because he found she is not lying to me.
So why do you think he prefers her to lie to me? Why does he care? They meet privately and when she is with him - she is with him. How much "aside" can I step? To be more aside then this I have to die eventually

Simple and easy...I didn't plan on how much I would miss it when she stopped.

IASP: << Lots of men let the genie out of the bottle, very few can get the genie back in. Once she gains momentum and inertia... >>

What can make her lose momentum is getting screwed over (not well screwed...) by another man. That's what happened in my case. She got hurt really badly and lost a lot of her interest. She hasn't dated since then.

While I'm not happy about that, I can't say I blame her.

The way she can be eager to go out and get laid one day and once she has fucked the guy how quickly she can decide she wants to take some time off!...she will remain cooled off for several weeks (and sometimes it has gone into MONTHS!) until another guy just catches her eye and then suddenly she's up for it again. It feels like a roller coaster ride. One week she has me hard as a rock while she's fucking a new stranger 'bull' but then the next I get no action whatsoever and no clue as to when she will decide to cuck me again. It's like I never know the mood she'll be in until it actually happens (or doesn't happen).

What surprised me was how normal it felt to talk to her lovers about sharing her with them. I did not feel any shame. None.

Most surprising was feeling a need for her boyfriends, a need that I satisfied within myself by experiencing them through her. Through her stories, the smell of her lovers on her, her excitement, and her desire to please them. When I didn't smell the "other man" on her permister I felt something important was missing.
OhioHusband

good thread.

My cucks most often report they are surprised by the intensity of the sexuality in the experience....especially if they are not directly participating physically with their wife. Ah yes, the mental piece!

They further report a sublime sense of serenity even happiness when they relive the experience with their wife after the fact; again....this is completely unexpected.


I'm surprised by how hot wives awaken sexually when with me.....they tend to want to experience the taboos they never have. And for cucks, how quickly they become accommodating to my every whim.....
Good observation. The three way dynamics can be quit hard to get one's arms around, indeed.

I've been so incredibly lucky. My wife started cuckolding me as a 40th birthday present last fall. She really got into it and, since then, has fucked about a dozen guys. She has a regular boyfriend now who lives a few hours from here. I certainly had ideas about what I thought it would be like before we started and although the insane jealousy and raging hard-ons I hoped to get are there, there are a few things that surprised me.

1) Anal - Just like Breakingglass my wife and I had no real anal experience together. I half-heartedly tried with her a couple of times but she had never seemed really interested and I'm pretty big. So, even though the thought turned me on I had shelved the idea. The first weekend she cuckolded me she let a guy fuck her in the ass about 2 hours after she first met him. This absolutely shocked me. Since then another of her lovers, one as large as me, has also fucked her booty. The guys who have gotten in her behind have been dominant alpha males in the bedroom. Getting my wife to give up any part of her body has been all about the attitude of the guy doing the taking. She is, at heart, submissive (like most women).

2) It's the intimacy - I've found that I get much more jealous when my wife is kissing or cuddling or holding hands romantically with a guy than when she is just having sex. Maybe it's because I know no matter how much she enjoys sex, it's just sex, but hearing that a guy told her he loved her and how it made her melt inside just drove me crazy.

3) Dominent men just have 'it' - I've seen emails that my wife has received from her dominant lovers. They aren't exactly the second coming of Cyrano. I've seen their pictures, they aren't any expecially handsome or incredibly built. Their cocks are not enourmous. But, they can get my wife's pussy wet instantly and she will do whatever they want her to just based on a touch or a glance. Some guys have some chemistry, attitude, a feral aggressiveness that women respond to and just gets them places. I wasn't prepared for her to connect like that with some of these guys. It's been really eye-opening.

pastnfuture

I can relate to your No. 1) - exactly the same here! She let him try her ass on their first fuck. He couldn't enter her completely as she is tight there. But she told she had spread wide her butt cheeks for him so that he can enter her.
Once when we fucked after that she told me she would love to him to fuck her in the ass.

<< 3) Dominent men just have 'it' >>

That is SO true! There is just an attitude that they have.

It's actually possible to learn it, but for me at least, it doesn't come naturally and doesn't stick very much.

xoxoxo

Christinebitg

yes there is something to the chemistry or charisma that some guys have. my wife will see a guy on TV or in a movie or even in permister and she knows right away whether or not she would fuck him. a lot of celebrities and especially politicians have this power over women and you do not have to be handsome: bill clinton, herman cain, newt gingrich, et al. for example. my wife said she will spread her legs easily for johnny depp and if he were alive - marlon brando - my wife is convinced marlon has a nice looking uncircumcised thick cock.