I want it to stop. Help!

I'm going to give you my opinion here...that's all it is. I'm no expert but i'm not sure you would find one if you went looking.

The straight...you can't go back. The best chance you have of being in a "normal" relationship with "normal" one on one sex (without thoughts of other big dicked men fucking your woman) is to dump her and start over with a new woman, and that might not even work. You are not the same permister you were before all this happened. People change over time inside and out in part because of their experiences. Your girl has taken big dicks and enjoyed it and that is the hard truth that is never going to go away. If you want her to "cuckold" you and she is not willing then find someone who will, but the status quo no longer exists in your relationship. You can't pretend she is something that she is not. You either have to make peace with her history or move on. Sorry I don't have a better answer for you. In life, certain actions just cannot be undone or reversed. Good luck to you.

deltaau
Deltaau,

I am answering you with the assumption that your delema is actually true. Normally I don't reply but your post sounds like a cry for help and I am a sucker for helping other people in need.

A couple of things. First of all, this lifestyle should be fun and pleasurable for eveyone involved. You should get more pleasure from this lifestyle than your significant other. If you don't, it is not for you.

The mere fact that your "girlfriend" enjoys humiliating you and seems to have no interest in helping you "be the man you want to be" should tell you volumes about what your life will be if you continue down this path and stay in your "relationship".

A permister who not only claims to love another, but actually does so will go out of their way not to goad and hurt that other permister, but to help them.

I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you... if you already don't know but "your girl" doesn't care for you.

She is totally right though! Stop being competitive. In fact, stop competing. First, start respecting yourself. And get help. I'm sure you've heard of Viagra! (It has done wonders for my husband.)

Then find a woman who respects you for you.

In closing honey, just remember that this lifestyle is for both partners, not just one. My husband lets me stray, but he is my one and only. He is the one who I will never intentionally hurt and if he were to ask me to stop I would in a heartbeat. The pleasure that I receive by being with another permister will cease if he has a change of heart.

Take care and good luck... Dawn <3
Dawn

What you have written mirrors my thoughts and experiences so maybe I can donate 2 cents.

Its going to be a hurdle to get you back to "normal." Which we'll classify as man lusting for sex with woman. That adoloscent-like horniness where you just wanna fuck and not have to fantasize in your head about cuckolding. You should probably seek some sort of counsiling. Therapy might be good, a good one can explain where those fantasies derive from and what you can do to control them. Next, seek ED medication. You may need even need to. Simply eating better, not smoking (especially pot), holy water, and exercise will definetely help. I know I sought help for a limp dick. I'm also not small I've made women cum with my dick. But its inconsistent. Sometimes I go soft during sex or when I'm really steaming and fucking her good then I just cum before making her cum. I went to a urologist, paid cash and got a supply of pills that make my dick work.

As far as your woman, that's the toughest hurdle. Chances are she doesn't take you seriously. Yes, she may still have feelings for you, but they can easily be swayed. She will never stay faithful to you. The best case scenerio is she remains honest and truthful and you deal with this as a couple. There's a mental anguish to being a cuck. You have to make a choice and either deal with it and enjoy the ride or rehabilitate yourself and seek a journey with someone new.

My advice is stay with this girl.
Ronald Curry

What it sounds like to me is that your wayward interest has turned into a classic addiction. You are doing and thinking things you admit you DON'T WANT to do or think. You wish you could stop. You can't. The previous responders gave some good advice, but I'd go a few steps stronger.

1) Don't look for pills. You admit you don't need them to satisfy your woman.
2) (the toughest one) Quit all pornography, including this website and any other site that might quickly draw you back in. Do that for at least a month while continuing a normal relationship with your significant other. If you two were accustomed to watching porn together, ask her to help you with this because you 'want her to be the only girl on your mind while with her.'
3) (pretty tough) Quit masturbating, unless she is an involved physical participant (no virtual sex, your hand only touches your cock, if she's close enough and involved enough that you are within her reach). Make her be your only sexual outlet. Build the relationship between each other, make sure she's on board to be exclusive to you.
4) (maybe optional) See if you can't join a sexaholics anonymous. What you describe sounds like an addictive thought process. The trick with a sexual addiction as this is that you still need to be adventurous, you just need to learn how to build mental and physical boundaries for the sake of your relationship.

These ideas probably sound like treamister to many members of this site, but to go back to normal from where you are, you have to push yourself very hard and in a very strict manner.
Good luck.

Also, if your relationship is serious enough, it's probably not out of line to ask her not to hang out with guys she used to fuck without you there.

You cant go back to basics. When you've had chocolate sauce, cant you ever go back to vanilla flavour? But I certainly do agree that you can wean yourself into a more moderate role whereby you can have some normlity in your sex life, and quitting porn is the biggest help of all for this to happen.
S

wow i know exactly what your going through, it could have just been me writing this and i wrote something similar years ago, there is no easy fix, its an addicition for you just as it is for me, and ive yet to fix it! another partner will not fix it mate because it comes back every time. without help you wont be able to just try something and wake up the next day and its gone. ive tried new partners and it comes back, ive tried professional help and they didnt take me seriously. 9 years on and it still dominates me everyday thoughts

The genie is out of the bottle. You have lost control of her. Any action on your part, good or bad, only provides excuse for her to stray whenever she finds it convenient. Inertia now rules, not you. Time to replace her with a younger, sleeker model. Next time consider the ramifications whenever you defy the laws of gravity. This game is over and she wins all of the balls. Your's and all her lovers'. It sounds like you hate this situation but are so thrilled and excited by her blatant and rampant infidelity that you will stay and vicariously enjoy her continuing sexual pleasures with other men.
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

deltaau,

<< She is quite an amazing permister >>

I'm calling B.S. on this one. That just means she's good at manipulating you.

xoxoxo

Christine

MrsBlackBlowupDoll;

Great response and I think you knocked it out of the park. At the end of the day, though, I feel that this poster is having trouble coming to grips with what he truly is. It took years for me as well. It is also something that most people have to carry with them without true understanding from those around them.

My wife doesn't indulge me, either. She knows what I am, and we have developed an understanding for how I manifest my fantasies and how she responds. Is it the best case for me, or her for that matter, I don't know. I think this is such an unusual fetish for those not involved that finding a partner to engage in it, or understand it, can be tough.

Good luck deltaau, it's going to be a bumpy ride....But you will be fine.

Masochism comes mainly from eroticizing fears and pains.
You were hurt, you find yourself inadequate you eroticized.
you find it so hot but so painful at the same time.
you need to realise what it is first .

I read these type of discussions and I see that I'm not alone in my mixed feelings...although I developed into a full fledged cuckold it was not always like that...I can remember early in my relationship feeling jealousy and wanting my woman only to myself...as I discovered how much I enjoyed being cuckolded by my lady a little voice inside my head would say "stop, this is wrong", but I was unable to stop...I wanted the experience more and more and so I pushed for her to have flings with other men for my own selfish enjoyment...she came to enjoy them too, and we fell into the lifestyle. Many times we would make arrangements to meet a guy at a bar or lounge, and knowing that by the end of the night we would be in a hotel room with him fucking her brains out was such an outrageously huge turn on that all day I would have a constant erection in anticipation of my wife getting pounded good by another man's cock. I would so much look forward to us meeting with a bull that it became all I could think about!! I kiddd myself into thinking that I wanted to stop, but not really....I was a total slave to my emotions, and enjoyed the experience too much to make any attempt at stopping. Thankfully nature made us cucks this way, so that even if we feel we should go back to 'normal' we really have no intentions of ever doing so, and we wouldn't have things any other way. Thankfully as well there are women that come to understand these cravings and can indulge us and love us at the same time.

A link to a recent article entitled:

What Your Favorite Porn Says About Who You Are

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

"Porn is a window into the deepest levels of your psyche"

And then there is this:

My Father, the Ethical Slut
A flower responds to her man's unconventional sex life

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

and this:

Fact or Fantasy: Men and Women Are Sexually Alike
Regardless of gender, sexual fantasies are windows into our psyches.