Long distance Girlfriend mentioning another guy

I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for a quite a long time. She has started to mention another guy every time we talk. He keeps asking her out and makes fun of her and teases her a lot. She told me how he ignored her when she said no to him asking her out after college to do something, he hurt her a little and wa confiding in me.
Do you think she feels attraction for this guy? Apparently hes a bit of a bad boy and persuing her but she tells me about him every time we talk online for the past week or so. I said she could hang out with him but her reply was 'my mom wouldnt like that' she is 19. She mentioned how he keeps what shes up to while she says no and he gets frustrated. I said 'Sounds desperate' but she said no, it just comes up in conversation.

Does she have the hots for him? Is she trying to get reaction out of me? I am both turned on and afraid. I play it cool and tease her for trying to make me jealous but what is happening? what do you think?

Badboy

There are several aspects in this situation. She is 19 years old you say. How long did you know eachother, and how secure are you in her as your g/f?

She is young, and she needs attention and some fun sometimes. Very natural. She may not "want" to go out since she is trying to be faithful to you...but if she does, after some time, why she should bother with you anymore?

The cuckolding thing is a big turn on for many men. But id it's the right thing for you in such a long distance relation being so young...I don't know

If you want to keep her, stop wishing something like this will ever happend. At least not before you live together and feel the stability in your relation that is a MUST for a cuck relation

Push for this...and you will loose her. Sorry to say

.
A cuck to my GF - A bull to all other women

Sorry, but it is a bit hard to follow your prose.

It is hard to be definitive about what she is doing, especially as we are all strangers. You know her best. My guess would be that any mix of the following could be true:

-> Her feelings about him are conflicted. He irks and/or scares and/or offends her but he also intrigues and/or interests her. This seems pretty clear actually, since she doesn't just shut him out despite his offending her. (I note also that you say he "hurt her a little," by which I assume you mean her feelings. Your feelings are not hurt by someone who is nothing to you. So if her feelings were hurt, she probably likes him a little on some level.)

-> She resists his overture because: (a) she is conflicted - not sure she feels safe taking it further with him, (b) she thinks it is wrong (potentially part of the allure, as you suggest), (c) she is seeing you, (d) she is afraid of repercussions (from you, her mom, whatever), (d) she genuinely disapproves and is scandalized that she is having these other feelings.

-> She is probably not sharing with you to take your temperature, but she might be doing it to gain strength from you to bolster her in her struggle with herself over what to do or to double check that you - so far away - are still committed to her and she is not being a fool keeping herself on the shelf for someone whose interests have ebbed.

Bottom line: He is getting to her. She is scared. She is bolstering psychological defenses by reaching out to her support group (you), talking about it aloud to reduce its potency, reminding herself of who she is socially (her mom, as well as you).

So for you there are two questions:

1. Do you want her to hook-up with him or not?

2. What is your best strategy for getting that outcome.

Concerning question 1: I think you should think carefully. I'm not warning you off. In my own life I can say that long-distance relationships are the best chance to create cuckold relationships - which are great! But they are also the highest chance of it leading to break-up. She is only 19, and I'm guessing you are not far from that yourself. This can be emotionally wrenching for hormone charged folks your age. Are you ready? Are you willing to take the very real risk of losing her to experience it?

Concerning question 2: I think this is not so easy to psych out, but that you are better equipped than strangers on the web. Do this: throw all the porno fantasies out of your head and think really clearly about how you think she will feel if you say A or B. I suggest doing it after you have jerked-off and are no longer so horny. If you want her to do it, you need to decide if you (a) tell her about your fantasies and give her your endorsement straight out or, (b) build on you "hang out" suggestion, by being the tolerant supportive boyfriend who gives permission to date or more while you are separated and assures her that you won't hold anything against her or, (c) play the amiably clueless guy. Don't ask about the guy or what is happening with him. Listen patiently and be supportive; when she complains about him be a kindly apologist for him. And then hope that she does it.

Relationship types will tell you to do the first - that honest communication is the best way. I don't disagree at all. But human psychology is not rational, and many 19 olds particularly aren't. Any of these approaches could backfire. She might feel revolted and/or rejected by option (a), or feel betrayed or degraded or that you are trying to pimp her. She might feel that you losing interest and trying to slither away with option (b), or that you just don't value her, or to create an excuse for yourself to see other women. If you take option (c), she might find that it only increases her guilt and gives her the resolve to stay faithful to you. (Or that she is pissed off that you don't get offended when someone treats you girl that way - evidence that you don't care, etc.) You are the permister, drawing on everything you know about her, best able to decide how to play the gamble.

And by the way, all this applies even if you decide you don't want her to do it. You still need to negotiate the minefield of what behavior on your part will discourage her wandering rather than push her away.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful.

Good luck and please keep us updated!
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

I like the clueless guy idea and being supportive. I have read up on women psychology for many years and why they cheat. Some reamisters why women cheat is because her boyfriend is beta while the other guy is alpha. I could play the clueless guy, letting her confide in me and talking about how the alpha male treats her bad. I reckon if i start welcoming this conversation she will bring him up more and more until I am her tissue while she saves all of the flirting feelings for him. This could work out best. She is somewhat aware of the cuckold thing. She wears a ankle bracelet and I once said 'those mean the girlfriend/wife is looking for a new alpha guy while with her beta boyfriend. She said playfully 'Know any black guys? ;)'

I will play the clueless boyfriend and talk about him with her as long as the conversation permits when she brings him up. Turning into her emotional tampon then her alpha boyfriend. I reckon this could work for two reamisters.

1: It lets her feelings for him build will STILL keeping me in the alpha male status I have with her and slowly training to beta while hes alpha.
2: Its somewhat subtle and I can easily switch to being my alpha male self if I do not like where it is heading.

Why it might damage me

1. When you admit your true cuckold feelings a horizontal line will be drawn down you. On one side she loves her boyfriend and knows he is a cuck and it turns him on but it does not effect his 'true alphamaleness completely. If i turn into her emotional tampon my alpha male status with her will be effected since its my true self acting beta.

If I tell her she can hang with him, she wont want to do it. I find relationships counter-intuitive. It is better to act a little defensive so the ''aww hes jealous and 'this is bad and naughty paradox occurs.

Sounds good. You're the expert on her. And since she is already aware of (even playful about) cuckold fetishes, you don't need to do education.

Two flags I would give you: First, as you say, once you become the beta cuck it will impact her views of you in a myriad of irreversible ways. Life is like that, there is no reverse gear. This is not a bad thing, but it is a true one. (My own wife and I have a very solid relationship, but I know that she'll never again be able to suspend disbelief enough to let me drive when it comes to sex.) Secondly, although you can't reverse, you can swerve. But just like driving, turning too hard too fast can cause a wipe-out. If you play the beta then panic and switch back to alpha too suddenly or angrily, it could be very messy and damaging to the relationship. So if it comes to that, be thoughtful about the transition, and do it carefully - don't just fly off emotionally.

Last thought as an old geezer: Every relationship changes and evolves, so don't be too afraid of this whole "horizontal line" business. The two of you will grow together or apart whether you do this or not. The truth is that long-run sustainability is undermined if you keep this part of yourself locked-up, so the risks of not doing it are at least the risks of doing it. She's young. You're young. I know from permisteral experience the following words will probably ring hollow to you: But life is long and there are other females and you'll feel different no matter what. So why not do now what you want to - give it a try and see how it goes. Seriously, it is NOT going to ruin your life or any bullcuckolds brownie like that.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

We just talked about him for 30 minutes on Msn Messenger till she changed the subject lol. It was pretty hot for me, I was hard the entire time. She said he makes her Math class one big adventure. The way he teases her and ignores her sometimes. Before we did this, i would drop him from the conversation but this time it went on a lot longer. Step in the right direction? lol

When a chick starts giving you running commentary about her interaction with another man, there's your clue that she's already doing him. Take it from there...
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Have to agree with IASP...once a girl starts feelin' you out she most likely already did the deed. Before that there is no reamister to because she has convinced herself she won't do anything. She doesn't want to think of herself as a cheater. Just the way many of them operate from my experience.