What else to do to convince my wife

Hi, I am in a relationship with my wife since over 8 years now and the initial spark of sexual excitement is long gone - even if our relationship is still based on love and rewarding in all aspects.

She, although not explicitly in the sexual arena, is definitely the stronger and more dominant part in the relation.

Sexually, we speak openly about fantasies in a casual manner but she is reluctant to discuss having other man or even sexual encounters in a controlled environment such as a threesome or a swinger club. She knows my interest in a light cuckold life style but rejects it as crazy. Years and years of probing however let her to admit that she isn't sexually pleased. While I am not small (around 5,5 inches) I am neither thick nor long and she has been with men before me which where both better build and better in their sexual performance.

She admits that she still has a crush on some of them but using this as an angle to deepen the cuckold discussion usually does not work even if she admits that she craves better sex and has an interest in other man on a "mental" level - but she does not want her fantasies to become a more real part of our sex life.

I am slowly starting to doubt that there is a way to interest her in more active options to improve our sex life and wonder whether there is anything new I could try to convince her. I am not expecting her to be turned around in days (or even months) and turning into a hot wife - her being able to consider it as a more real fantasy however would be a great achievement.

We are in our very early 30ishs, live in London and do have some friends who have - if not a cuckold lifestyle - at least a very open sexual relationship - which for her is not a problem from a moral point of view.

I think you need to respect her wishes for now. Even though she is ok with it morally, there is still something about it that worries her. You have done the hard part which is to tell her your fantasy. I would sit her down one last time and tell her that your desire is simply for her happiness. Tell her that she has your permission to see other guys sexually without any repercussions to the marriage. Search Google for "cuckold agreement" and print out and sign the document giving her that permission and promising her that you will always be faithful to her.

Over time, as she becomes more comfortable in the marriage and as she becomes ok with your sincerity, she may open up to the idea. If she is truely unsatisfied sexually, that will help. From what I have read on this site, it is common for wives to be slow to taking on a lover. But when they do, watch out! They do it with a vengence! Make sure its what you want.