Journal - from traditional sex life to ???

Just checking in...anything new?

Sorry for not posting like I said I would. Weve actually been on vacation for the past week and so have not had much time.

The method I mentioned to help my wife reach orgasm almost worked. It was using the product Xestra which increases red flow. I thought that might help. It did help but she still couldnt get there. We tried it once before but she didnt like it because it was too intense. This time we used 1/2 as much and she liked it much better. Well try it again soon.

One new thing though. It is her birthday soon and I ordered her a realistic silicone dildo from Adam&Eve. Its not huge but its definitely bigger than mine, haha.

I cant wait to lick her at the same time as Im sliding that cock in her!

I have a suggestion on the orgasm issue. When you're trying to help your wife hit the big "o" try whispering sweet nothings. Things like how beautiful you think she is and how much you love some character aspects.

I know my wife sometimes gets uptight or nervous about the size of a toy. Doing what I suggested reminds her of how comfortable she is around me and that helps her just relax.

Thanks Ted. I do that when we have intercourse, but she usually can only come when I give her oral. Its hard to whisper sweet nothings when Im going down on her, haha.

We think the problem is an interaction with her medication. The Xestra should help increase red flow. The movies help her get hot mentally. We just have to keep working it.

There was one time a month or two ago where I gave her oral for 20 or 30 minutes before I started fucking her. I layed her on her side with the top leg bent. I straddled her lower leg and rubbed her clit while I fucked her. She was able to have an orgasm that time. Weve tried it a couple of times since but she couldnt get there. It gives me hope about using the dildo while giving her oral. I think she'll like it.

I took a big step this morning and posted an ad on Craigslist to see if there would be any interest. I dont know if it was a good idea but I wanted to know how many people were out there locally who would be into this sort of thing. I tried to make it clear that this wasnt something that would be happening soon. I copied my posting below.


Beginning the search for the right man to start a cuckold relationship - mw4m
Date: 2010-08-02, 9:44AM PDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here

Hi. I know this request may be unusual, but I would like to start a search to find a man to enter into a cuckold relationship with my wife and I. This isnt something thats going to happen right away. I want to find the right guy who will be able to give us what we are looking for.

We are in our mid 40's, been married for quite a while and are very secure in our relationship. There will not be jealousy issues as long as you respect our wishes and respect her. She is attractive, curvy (but not a bbw), with a great set of 38DD's!

We would start out by getting to know each other over dinner and maybe a take or two. If everything seems cool and she is still willing, we could all head to our hotel room. The first time will most likely be a threesome. Im straight, so it will be all about pleasing my wife. If we enjoy ourselves there will be repeat hookups. After a few hookups, the threesome will shift into more of a voyeur situation with me watching. Eventually, if we are all enjoying the relationship, I will start spending time in a chastity device (we have one that we use once in a while) and you will start spending more time inside her pussy than I do. After that, who knows? Maybe you can start spending time alone with her while I wait at home. Maybe we can go on a vacation together. Perhaps after trust is established and everyone is tested you can start fucking her bareback and I can finally enjoy the creampie I have been longing for! We will both be open for ideas.

You must be tall, attractive, professional, 35-50, and reamisterably well endowed. If this sounds like fun, send a response. Not looking for pictures right now, nor will I send any of her in this early stage. Be warned, we have never done this before and we will need to start slow. But if you're patient, this could be a great adventure!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Wow! I could not believe how many responses I received with that ad. Looking back, I realize that I probably did not explain well enough that this was going to be a long process. Many of the men who responded wanted to hook up immediately. I am in the process of emailing them to explain more fully.

On the plus side, I received several well thought out responses from men who have had experience in these kinds of relationships, and were very willing to take things slow and to respect boundaries. Very encouraging to know that if we ever are able to try out this lifestyle, that there are some good candidates out there ready to oblige.

I have now exchanged emails with a half-dozen or so men who would be good candidates for a bull. They are all willing to start slow with a typical threesome type hookup and then slowly let it develop into cuckolding (if it doesnt freak my wife out). They all understand where I am with her and that it will several months, at least, before something might happen, if it happens at all. They all agree to practice safe sex until we are all tested. They have all been very respectable towards me and have been appreciative of the fact that I have been honest with them. One or two of the guys have risen to the top of my list based on their respectable tone and with their previous experience in a cuckold type relationship. My number one candidate claims to have an 8.5 inch cock! God, I would love to be able to give that gift to my wife!

I was surprised to find out how many people have no idea about the details of what cuckolding is all about.

A couple guys sent me pictures of their cocks! Now, I have seen plenty of pictures of cocks, on this site and others. But let me tell you, it is extremely exciting to look at a picture of a cock that has a very real possibility of being inside my wife!

You are right, this is a big step. It sounds like its going well though. Do you have a plan on how to approach your wife with it? Or do you plan to take it as it goes?

I agree, this is a VERY big step. Having another living, breathing permister involved and influencing things will provide a bit of a sub-conscious 'push' for your plan. I'm very excited about this - you may find the pace of things picks up a bit from here.

I am nervous as hell, too!

I agree with the "push" comment. I do feel a renewed desire to keep going forward. I am aproaching the whole Craigslist thing with some caution. Im using an untraceable email address, of course and limitting permisteral details like names and places and pictures. I also know there are a lot of fakes (even though I just bought some 4x4 tires off CL last week). But I have to say, most of the men I am talking to seem genuinely as interested in the cuckold lifestyle (as a bull) as I am in being cuckolded. One guy, though, wants to put me my place by tying me up and making me watch him plow my wife, lol! Sounds fun but probably a bit aggresive for us at this stage.

Yes, you have to be very smart and cautious here. The sub-set of guys that will respond to your ad will not exactly be creme de la creme of society, but there will likely be a couple decent guys. You have to look acutely at things they do or say that might give away the fact that they would not be a good match for you (which you seem to already be doing a good job at).

I'd offer to help, but I'm pretty sure you don't live in my area, so I'll just have to sit back and give advice where I can.

Hi There

Been a great thread to follow. I was in a fully cuck relationship before but my wife passed away. Am now with another girl but not ever mentioned the cuck word to her. I have told her my wife ONCE slept with another guy whilst I was there but not told her full story. We are based in SE of England.

She is interested in scenario and loves to watch and talk sex. Idea of being with another guy turns her on but she says maybe just a bj or hand job rather than full sex.

This is getting me incrediby excited and I told her I am more than happy for it to take place. I have not told her though that I would like to lick another guys cum from her.

We have been to a swingers club twice now. The first time was very hot and we made love together but just watched others but did not share. After she said she regretted that and so we went back a few weeks later. The atmosphere was totally different though and no guys who she was very attracted to so we never really did much but observe.

We now have plans to go to a naturist spa centre where some couples go upstairs to play. Hopefully in next couple of weeks. So desparate for the cuckold situation to arise although I just cannot bring myself to saying it to her.

Good luck with your situation and hope it developes well. I will be following with interest.

Good luck Laphroaig57. It sounds like you are in for some fun.

Update on us: A guy that I have been exchanging emails with named Rob has clearly risen to the top of the list.

He has been a bull in three cuckold relationships. He understands the situation with my wife and is intrigued with the challenge. The plan right now is to somehow convince my wife to try a threesome. We'll post an ad on CL and Robs response to that email will be chosen. We'll have the threesome experience, and leave it open for more meetings. After a few meetings, Rob will start dropping cuckolding ideas, saying how much fun they can be. If my wife goes this far, I think she will be willing to try a few of his ideas. We'll make sure they are fun and mild so that she doesnt get too weirded out. Slowly, other ideas will be suggested. Eventually, I hope to finally declare that my wife has a boyfriend outside of our marriage.

I know there are lots of things that can go wrong here, so need to go slow, but it almost seems like this could work! Rob is completely on board. His desires and the things he wants to do with my wife are very closely aligned with what I want. He respects our marriage and believes that this is supposed to enhance our marriage and not jeopardize it. He wants to be friends with both of us, hanging out together in non-sexual times as well. Moreover he works in the same industry as I do and is close to our age so there is lots of common ground. It all seems perfect.

Now to talk her into a threesome. I think that will be best received after watching porn together (which isnt very often unfortunately). Rob understands and is willing to wait as long as necessary. He also understands that theres a good chance she wont go for it at all.

I will definately be keeping up on your posts with this plan. Maybe it would work with my wife. Good luck as always.

I can't wait to hear how this goes!

Continuing...

Jerry,
Yes, I am very careful about what I say and when I say it. She is
usually ok with trying new things but adding a third permister is not
something she would go for right off the bat. I will have to introduce
it gradually if I want it to happen. I would never power her, or
coerce her to do it if she didnt really want to because I know she
wouldnt enjoy it. And for me, thats what its all about.
Having said that, I have been able to expand her boundaries quite a
bit in the last year. She is now enjoying watching porn with me. Her
latest fascination is girl-girl porn which is something she NEVER
would have done before. The chastity thing was also a big deal. She
thought it was weird (and it is, I admit) but she wanted to do it
because I wanted to. And she knows that my fantasies revolve around
her satisfaction. There have been times when I was in chastity and I
would get off orally. She always felt bad because I had the chastity
device on but I would just tell her that her pleasure was more
important to me than my own.

If you want to know more about chastity, you can check out keptforher.com

They have a very loving approach to chastity and regard it as a "gift"
men can give to their wives. I agree wholeheartedly and it is also how
I feel about cuckoldry. Being able to enjoy other men, with their
different romantic and sexual styles, and all the excitment that it
will bring, is a "gift" I want to give to her.

Mark,

It's good to see you have a handle on the situation, and I definitely agree that you should go forward as cautiously as possible... So, this information answers my two questions because I feel the both of you must be confident, secure, comfortable and amiable in any quest such as this... I will check out the website info you posted at my earliest convenience, I just wanted to reply to your message asap. So, take your time and make a quality selection is the only advice I can give a couple that has the ideas you have, okay, type with you later.

Jerry

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

That was the last email I exchanged with Jerry. Hope you enjoyed.

That was a great read. I really hope things happen for you...and more so for your wife

Well Jerry sounds really nice, respectful and articulate. It would be great if you could show your wife that email conversation and let her know exactly what you would like.

Do you think she would freak out and permanently reject the idea if you did that? Or maybe it would be a way of opening up to her? She might agree initially just to email flirt with the guy (just to indulge you a bit), which would hopefully lead to wanting to speak to him and maybe meet face to face and eventually to something physical. What do you think - I suppose that's pretty optimistic!

What's the plan of action now?

Mrs Took x

Yes, she would totally freak out if she read that. It would not go well.

The plan of action is bring up the idea of a threesome the next time watch porn. What happens after that will depend on her reaction.

Well, I finally did it. Last Friday night I asked my wife if she would be interested in finding a woman to have a threesome with.
It went over very badly. She was very hurt and angry that I would evn suggest something like that Its been very icy all weekend.
I am thinking that maybe I have let my desires get the better of me. I am going to back off and see where things go. Hopefully she will still want to watch porn.

Sigh...

That's a tough spot to be in. I hope you can get through this one easily...

I expected her to be against it when I mentioned it. But I didnt expect her to respond quite so negatively.

I was reading something from Jinxypie who said that the question she gets a lot from women is "if my husband wants me to be with someone else, how can he really love me?" I think thats the thought that my wife must be thinking. I explained that her pleasure was what was important to me but she was having a hard time accepting it. Things are slowly getting better. Shes not giving me the cold shoulder or anything. I think she is trying to pretend it never happened. But eventually, it will come up again and I will maintain that I just want her to be happy and have great experiences. I made sure to tell her that I would be hands off the other woman but she wanted to know what I was going to get out of it. The conversation never got to a threesome with another guy. Maybe that will come out when it comes up again.

Someone on another site explained that for them it took 5 years between when it was first discussed to actually happening. Maybe this is the begining of our 5 year journey. I dont know.

Sorry to hear it went badly, but honestly, early on, at times when I pressured my wife she would get angry with me. I think that by you bringing this up, she was in shock, and reacted negatively. Give her time to settle down, and maybe offer an apology to her, telling her that you didn't mean to upset her...etc.

I am sure it will come up again, either by you or her. I wish you the best and hope she will at least be able to talk with you about it without getting upset.

Good luck.

Thanks for the support Ted and Allen.

Things are going better, but honestly, I dont know why. It hasnt come up again but she has been acting very lovingly towards me. Last night we made love and it was really hot. She was able to come which she hasnt done without her vibe in a while.

I think she was just shocked. She kept saying that it wasnt normal for married people to do something like that and that she considered it cheating. I explained my view that cheating was about lying and deceiving. Having a threesome, where we all agreed to do it, isnt cheating at all. A couple may still chose not to do it, but it wouldnt be cheating if they did.

I am going to wait until it comes up again naturally (triggered by something on tv, radio, or watching porn). I am pretty sure the conversation will move to a threesome with another man. She will still be against it but maybe the shock will have worn off and she will be ok with some fantasy threesome play.

I still have hope.

I've come into this thread very late and my comment relates to something you asked right at the beginning, so my apologies if it's no longer of use, or that someone else has already mentioned it. Clearly you have moved on so much in a year that a regular (non porn) movie may not be any use any more, but just in case - there is a movie that I think was originally called "Tenue du soire" but has been retitled as "Menage" for the English audience that must have been very cutting edge when it was made in 1986. All the themes that you want, just beware the twist at the end which isn't helpful, but not so bad that it shouldn't cause. I saw it in '91 when it was shown on British television, but believe it or not we still can't get the DVD over here. But it is definitely available in the States, but only seems to have been made as a Region 1 DVD (and I assume still has sub-titles from original French language).

Even if not helpful, it's still worth a watch.

C4K

Thanks C4K. I really appreciate it. I havent heard about that one.

Yes, things have changed a bit in the last year. I'll have to go back and read what I wrote (but I'm afraid to, lol). I think now that my wife is ok with the occassional porno, that it might be easier to introduce an idea that way. I guess what I was looking for was a way to introduce the idea of adding partners without it looking like I was trying to introduce the idea. Does that make sense?

Maybe porn isnt the way either. Most of it is kind of extreme, especially cuckolding. The one threesome scene we watched together they gave the girl a DP which did not look appealing to my wife. She wasnt going to be open to a threesome after watching that. I wish they made loving cuckold movies with an emphasis on the womans pleasure without heavy offense. I think women might be open to cuckolding more if they saw it presented in a loving way.

Anyway, thanks again.

In total agreement with you, it might truely help those on the fence to finally come on over.

Again...I think your wife was in shock, and just needs some time to process what you said. Given time...who knows?

Its been a few weeks since I posted anything. Ive been crazy busy at work and activities on the weekends.

We still have not had any other conversations about the threesome. I am ok with that for now. I think taking it slow and letting her process things in her head is the way to go. She has dropped a few comments to me though. One was a story about a lady who was in a Bunco group she used to go to. She heard that the lady left her husband for another woman. I dont know if she was telling me this as a way of explaining that she isnt interested in hooking up with another woman. I acted interested in the story but inside I was screaming "I DONT WANT A THREESOME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN! I WANT A THREESOME WITH ANOTHER GUY SO I WATCH HIM FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT!"

But I didnt say anything. We also havent had a chance to watch any porn. Part of it has been no alone time to watch it. But part of it, I think, is because shes still alittle bit uncomfortable with what I said. I might have to bring the issue up the next time we have an opportunity to watch.

On Thursday morning I asked her if she wanted to hook up that evening. She said ok. But later that night she turned on the Giants game (watching the Giants-Padres pennant race). I asked her if she wanted to watch the game instead and she said we could have sex if I wanted. I told her that it ok since I needed to do some work for a bit. I went upstairs to change. Ten minutes later she came up and said she didnt want me to think she liked the Giants more than me. She had her top and bra off in anbout 2 seconds flat (I love those 36DD's) and we started kissing passionately. We were still standing when she dropped down to her knees, unbuckled my pants and started sucking on my cock! This was awesome as she only gives me a bj maybe 1 out 5-10 times we have sex. It was a hot session except I only lasted about two minutes inside her. Typical for me

This was unusual as she never initiates. I am noticing a change in her in the last week. She is initaiting sexy talk and is seriously planning on ramping up her exercise and dieting plans to lose some weight. I am excited because when she does this it usually means she is more willing to try new things sexually. The next couple of months could be an interesting time for us.

There has been some other things happening too that I want to report, but need to get back to work.

GO GIANTS!

Sounds like things are on the up-and-up for you! My two cents is that you should find a way to reassure her that she is the only one you want. Don't necessarily relate it to a threesome. Maybe next time you're inside her let out a big moan and say something like "that's the only pussy I ever want to be in. I'm so glad I married you!" Sorry for the unsolicited advice. Take it for what it's worth.

Thanks Ted. I take all advice, solicited or not, very seriously and Im always very appreciative of anyone who posts.

I do say things like that to her, but usually not that blatent. I'll try that sometime.