Puzzled need opinions

The wife and I have been together for 20 years now. The last 5 years of these twenty I've revealed my desire to have her fuck another man. She has never put me down for it, she suggests that I'm starting to discover my sexuality in new ways. She often tells me about a man she works with, one of her bosses. Hardly a day goes by that she does'nt mention his name. She tells me the the two of them hit it off and they have a connection unlike any other boss she has known. She says others at work by their actions and behavior suggests that they seem to suspect the two of them are having affair. He flirts with her she has caught him staring at her ass, tits you name it. Toucarbonsmudges her slyly, puts his arm around her. She admits she does find him physically attractive. I have asked her out right if she has fucked him she denies it without getting upset or offended. Although she did tell me once that if I ever passed away and she was single she would fuck his brains out, but never get married to him. Then she implies that she couldn't fuck him because she is thinking of his wife and wouldn't want to ruin his marriage and hurt his wife whom she has never met. I think she has been fucking him for years, but is an expert at concealing it and i'm not clever enough to catch her at it. Its a gut feeling, but I also want her to fuck him. If she would just admit it, if I just had proof. What do any of you think about this? What are some ways that I could catch her, I need something clever shes really good. Do you think I'm correct in my assumption or just obsessed with an illusion? And recently she has lost a lot of weight she has never looked better. She is very attractive, pretty face, very large tits, nice ass.

Not sure I have any answers, but I can sympathize with you. My wife did the same thing. Somehow her not trusting enough to tell me hurt worse than the idea of her fucking the other guy.
For me it ended once weekend when the two of us had a romantic getaway. I couldn't shake the feeling that she was pretending she was with him when we got intimate and I couldn't stay hard.
She was really frustrated and demanded to know why I couldn't do it. So I told her what I believed and how it felt. That seemed to get through and she confessed that she had been fucking this guy for about six months. When she saw that I got hard when she told me, she was a bit disgusted - and I was embarrassed - but it was all she needed. We spent the rest of the weekend fucking our brains out as she described in detail what she did with her 'real man' and how much better he was at fucking her than I was.