cuckensuck
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A cuckold is a married man whose wife has sex with other men. In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well, although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous.
There are connotations of helplessness and offense attributed to the word: implications that the husband lacks the strength to enpower marital fidelity traditionally accorded to a husband as head of his household. He is too weak, too stupid, or too henpecked to leave or divorce her.
History of the term
"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, �cokewold� occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird�s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In mediaeval Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by her husband. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom and doctrine rarely enpowerd it on the husband. A married woman who was unfaithful to her vows made a �cuckoo� of the husband who unknowingly provided her, and potentially her illegitimate offspring, with shelter and protection as a tricked bird does to the cuckoo�s eggs.
A nuance of the word often overlooked in contemporary usage is that it refers to a man who, like the bird warming the cuckoo�s eggs, is unaware of his victimization. A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife�s taking of another lover was called a �wittol,� itself a derivation from the Middle English for �willing (as in knowing) cuckold.�
A currently popular slang extension of the definition of cuckold expands it from married men to any male in domestic relationship with a woman in which he remains exclusive and she does not. This new usage may also reflect the paucity of established words that describe the variety of alternative sexual and romantic arrangements that have proliferated in recent years.
Cuckolds have sometimes been written as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of unknown European location, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a young recognizably not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband is powerd to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife�s infidelity. Whether this did actually happen or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.
Ca. 1815 French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns
Ca. 1815 French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns
The French equivalent of "wearing horns" is "porter des cornes" and is used by Moli�re to describe someone whose husband has been unfaithful. Moliere's L'�cole des femmes (1662) is the story of a man who mocks cuckolds and becomes one at the end. In Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (c.1372-77), the Miller's Tale is a story that humorously examines the life of a cuckold.
Cultural usage
In Russia, Italy, Germany, Portugal, Brazil and Spanish-speaking countries, "horns" are a metaphor for suffering the infidelity of a partner, not limited to husbands in modern usage. However, the use of the term dates from the Roman empire, since legionaries returning from the war were given horns as a triumph or prize. So, the use of the term is a mockery of the husband, victorious in the battlefield, but defeated in his own bed. The gesture of the horned hand can be used to insult the cuckold; the Italian translation, cornuto literally means horned (This sometimes causes confusion in Italians who are learning English and encounter the word horny). The Spanish word for a consenting cuckold, cabr�n, has such an offensive nuance that it is a taboo word rarely used with its original meaning, "he-goat". However, according to the tone and the relation to the addressed, it can be even laudatory.
The Chinese term for "cuckold" is literally translated to "wearing a green hat". It is because of this that it is extremely rare to see any Chinese men wearing a green hat.
In natural behavior
"Cuckoldry" is also a term used in the study of natural behavior to denote female copulation and conception outside of a socially monogamous pair-bond, a mating strategy revealed by red testing to account for a substantial minority of offspring in socially monogamous birds.[1] The term is sometimes avoided in favor of less emotionally-loaded terms such as "social partner nonpaternity." See also: Animal sexuality: Monogamy.
Cuckoldry as a fetish
The term has acquired additional meanings within certain sub-cultures, referring to couples wherein the female is dominant and she takes on additional partners, while the male takes on a submissive role where he is monogamous to her, or only becoming involved sexually when it is felt to be emotionally supportive of her and her lover, or remaining altogether chaste. Men who fetishize this situation are often referred to in the sub-culture as "cucks."
Cuckoldry as a fetish has been around since at least the time of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the writer after whom the term "masochism" is coined). Sacher-Masoch's wife, Aurora R�melin, recounts in her memoirs multiple instances of Sacher-Masoch asking, begging and even threatening her to make her cuckold him so he could experience the pain and offense of the act. To that end, Sacher-Masoch created multiple "opportunities" for the adulterous act to occur, none of which were successful. While R�melin indulged her husband in many of his masochistic requests, due in large part because to her dependence on him to financially support herself and her youngren, she steadfastly refused to cuckold him. R�melin's refusal to succumb to Sacher-Masoch's cuckholding fantasies was one of the causes of their separation and her subsequent descent into poverty.[citation needed]
The wife who enjoys cuckoldry is sometimes referred to as a hotwife. In a broader context, the contrast between a cuckold and the additional male participant (sometimes called a "stud" or "bull") is sometimes used to summarize an individuals permisterality or behaviour and the variability commonly seen in male libidos; the cuckold or beta male suggesting a lack of virility, perhaps sometimes having a small penis, impotence, infertility, vulnerability, weakness, or even anxiety and the stud or alpha male representing virility, potency, a larger phallus, fertility, dynamism, masculinity, strength and a sense of confidence in the ease with which he may sexually possess another man's wife. There are some who consider the use of the term "bull" to be offensive, and this term is also not used commonly in the BDSM community. Interestingly, the more virile male was once almost exclusively referred to as a "stud"; using an equine connotation rather than the bovine one of a "bull".
Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are voluntarily "cuckolded" by their wives, sometimes as part of the husband's sexual fantasy and sometimes because they gain genuine sexual arousal through being humiliated by his wife being better sexually fulfilled with a potentially superior male. In some cases the husband may instigate and nurture his wife's sexual infidelity, raising the question of who is truly the dominant partner. This is a common theme in letters to erotica magazines and online sites which focus on cuckoldry.
In most modern cases of fantasy "cuckolding" the husband usually finds pleasure through that of his wife (or what he perceives to be her pleasure), and they (the wife and extra-marital participant) may both enjoy attempting to actively include him in the act of cuckolding as much as possible through serving her. Some common themes include praising her appearance, attempting to stimulate her sexually at the same time as the additional participant, and generally being engrossed in her enjoyment, usually while masturbating or involving himself in some sexual act with his wife during their activity.
Some less-common themes might include grooming his wife for her "date", homemaking, or oral sex following the conclusion of sex with the other man. When this oral sex follows ejaculation, it is termed a creampie or cleaning up.
Cuckolding and homosexuality
In some cases, "cuckolding" is a means for the husband to express same-sex desires through his wife and/or directly with the additional participant.
In various alternative-lifestyle support groups and online forums, homosexuality is often a primary concern for both couples thinking about participating in "cuckolding", with the heterosexual husband being uneasy about the possibility of a homosexual encounter.
Popularity of "Cuckolding"
Because cuckolding at its heart is a offense fantasy, it works best when the individual with the fantasy believes cuckolding is hopelessly the only choice for their relationship. This may be one of the reamisters cuckold fantasy stories tend contain the theme that females are genetically predisposed to desire the "alpha-male", prefer men with larger genitalia or that their wives are driven with wild lust.
Cuckolding as a Dominant Voyeuristic Act
While word origin and most historic accounts define the "cuckold husband" or party as being submissive, powerless and/or in need of offense to receive stimulation, contemporary practice suggests the possibility of something altogether different. Rather than passively acceeding to the infidelity and desires of an errant wife, this "cuckold" is more in keeping with the male partners defined in polyamorous, open, or swinging relationships.
In this manifestation, the cuckold is a consummate voyeur... who derives great pleasure from seeing his "hot wife" or partner being pleasured and serviced by another male (or males...or a female). Although he assumes a submissive role and may even assist during the course of the sex act, the "cuckhold husband" may actually be the controlling, dominant party in the relationship. He may invite, encourage, and initiate consideration of the practice with his partner, and may be the one to make arrangements and approve how, when and with whom his wife may have the intended encounter. In street parlance, he may "pimp" his wife for the encounters he wishes.
Often, the excitement of the encounter with third parties is followed by more, very stimulating sex play between the relationship partners. The encounter becomes an aphrodisiac, helping to initiate and enhance further sex play between them, as visions of the encounter are revisited and replayed during subsequent love making sessions.
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