Serious help needed

Hi everyone-- new to the forum. I need some advice on how to develop this, but I think I have a promising situation. I've always wanted to become a cuckold, but I had never been in a situation where I could be before, and I really need some advice on how to cultivate this. My girlfriend has recently been having graphic dreams about being with another guy, one in particular (he's a good friend of both of ours), and tells me that in the dream, she is still with me, but goes out with him and has sex with him like they are dating, and I'm non-existant. She apologizes profusely to me, because she feels that she is somehow betraying me, even though she knows I enjoy it. I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to make her feel more comfortable with the idea, and maybe to even take it "to the next step". Please post replys!!!!!

Just an update...
Last night, she had another dream about fucking our friend, and this morning she didn't feel as upset about it. I acutally got some details out of her. She said that (in the dream) she feels so horny, and so dirty, but she just likes it. I'm not too badly hung (definately not good, though), at about 5 1/2", but I'm not very thick. I already know our friend (We'll call him Matt, just for the sake of privacy), is larger then me, and is thicker (we compared once, he's about 6 1/2", and uncircumsized). I actually seemed to have convinced her a little to actually consider it. I told her that she wouldn't have to feel guilty if I approve, which I do. I also told her I'd be watching, so there wouldn't be any secrets about what's been happening. Now I just have to hope she actually goes for it. I also have (unbeknownst to her), begun to eat her out more. I think she thinks I'm just being sweet or something, but I make her cum several times before I'll even let her touch my tiny little dick. I'm hoping she'll come to expect this over time... and then maybe begin to power it. Again, I'm really new at this, so absolutely any replys would be appreciated!

If she is having dreams about this guy and she's willing to talk about it with you, then you're practically there already. You've gave her the ok. I'd also let her know that you DON'T necessarilly need to be there when it happens (you may just make her uncomfortable). Just keep telling her how turned on you are by the whole idea, and eventually she will live out her fantasy (and yours).

Thank you for the input Wannabexx--
Another update... I think I took a few steps backward on this. I brought it up again this morning (we live together), and told her that I didn't have to be there, and if they were together, and something just "happened" to happen, I would be competely fine with it. She came back and said that she was completely fine with just me, and demanded to know if I was just doing this so I would have an excuse to be with other women. She said that she didn't see the reamister this would be a turn- on to me, other then that. I honestly don't know why it's a turn-on either, but I just know that I get incredibly turned on thinking about her being with another guy. Does anyone know any of the psychological reamisters? I convinced her that I have absolutely no intention of relaxing with any other women, and that I have not ulterior motives for doing this, but I'm not going to bring the subject up again for a while, to let her cool down.

hi yoursissy,

your question has been answered dozens of times on here and all the advice you need is available in the archives of this forum. All you need to do is take the time to sit down and find them all.

Yoursissy,

I engage in the lifestyle myself to quite an extreme degree. I also always believe people should pursue their passions, dreams, and fantasies while they are young. But I do think you need to go in to this with you eyes open and your brain ready for the risks.

Many of us in the lifestyle indulge in it with partners we have long, deep, and profound levels of intimacy with. We know them and ourselves. Your situation is inherently more risky (and perhaps more exciting to you as a consequence?) to your relationship. Compared with stupid risky behaviour like shooting heroin or robbing banks, there is nothing wrong with taking these kinds of risk, as long as you are prepared for the consequences if you lose � that you will lose her.

The manner of losing her may not be as erotic as you fantasies, either. You have already encountered a common risk: girlfriend blowback to the idea. Like the rest of us, our wives and girlfriends still carry around this deep cultural baggage about wives being the domain (property even) of their husband. It is what gives cuckolding its power to thrill, in fact. That is why the thought turns her on � because it is taboo (�dirty,� as she says). It is also why she feels she must apologize to you so much for having the fantasy. She is clearly guilty over it and very scared of it. Confessing it to you and speaking it allowed is her attempt to tame her fears. She seeks your absolution and assurances that she is not a bad permister for thinking about such things.

By being so relentless about the idea you have confused her and raised her fears (and suspicions) rather than allaying them. She worries that you are looking for an excuse to relax around yourself. (The charge you already got.) She also probably worries that you are looking for a way out of the relationship, an excuse to dump her and make it her fault rather than yours. Or maybe you don�t have the guts, she thinks, and are just itching for her to leave of her own accord. Or you don�t find her arousing anymore; you find it a chore to satisfy her and are anxious to outsource the �job.� Then there is your desire to watch and the fears this raises. Does this mean you think of her just as a porno object? That your only interest in her is voyeuristic and shallow? Are you're closeted and living vicariously through her sex with your friend � is that why you want her to leave? And don�t forget the big one; you must not really love her if you are willing to share her.

If you think about it a minute, none of her fears are irrational; we usually jealously covet what we want, love, and value. We hand away things peripheral or indifferent to us, not what is dear. It is worth, by the way, your considering whether any of these motives might be true. If they aren�t, you still need to try to look at yourself and understand more why this turns you on. I suggest you have a real honest, vulnerable conversation with her (and soon) where you describe and explain as much as you understand and admit the parts where you don�t. You should also share with her more of your fantasies that don�t involve cuckolding, or involve elements beyond it � and I mean the ones you don�t tell anyone, that you�ve never told anyone. Sure there is a chance that she will react negatively (hey, you wanted risk) but it is unlikely in my experience. Your trust and intimacy will reassure her of your devotion and good faith. She will feel that the bond between you has strengthened (which will be accurate, by the way). This will help her to feel more comfortable sharing what excites her so much about the fantasy, and what her dark secrets and mysteries are. (More comfortable. How much comfort it takes to get there depends on her.) It will likely make her more willing to talk about cuckolding and maybe even to experiment.

Just remember that, just as you do not fully understand your attraction to this and your sub-conscious motives, she is probably unsure of her own. As young people; unmarried and without the investment of years in each other, it may be that she is merely window-shopping for a different partner to build her future with. Supporting her relaxing around may make that easier for her and sharing so much of yourself may help her decide you are not the one. That is the other great risk.

Good luck.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Wow. Thanks a lot for the input. I never thought about some of those things; I'll definately give it a cool down period, becuase I really do love her, and I really feel like a bit of a jerk now. Thanks for the help everyone!