Go for it, or not - and how !?!?

This lifestyle has as many forms as it does people, try reminding her about how she liked the first experience, and find out what about it she liked the best. Many swingers find after awhile they enjoy watching their wife being pleasured while swinging, these men can easily transfer to voyeurism or cucking, many times sex isn't even required by the husband to be satisfying. You have to convince her that only through experience will she find new things she might enjoy, like the old saying, be "willing to try anything once",,,nobody liked spinach as a kid, and many still don't, yet they still grow the stuff, so somebody's eating it, tastes change, and palates develop.

what should I do; go for it or forget it - and if I should go for it, is it "swinging" or cuckoldry (or maybe both) and what do I do about my wife to get her "back on track".
Please give advice, I really don't know what to do - if any...

OK, let's start with what it is. It is really only cuckolding if you are humiliated by it in some form. That is to say, are you getting off on the fact that she prefers sex with other guys, or that you can't satisfy her? If not, if you just get hot from watching her have sex and want to join in yourself (with men and women) and there is no edge of presentation in it, then it is just plain swinging.

As for your "going for it," you seem to overlook something. This is not exclusively you choice to make. This is a couple decision and it seems you've created a situation where you wife won't even discuss the subject.

This is something you both have to get past whether you ever swing or not. THe way this has developed, it is now a big festering elephant in the room and it is not healthy for your relationship. I suggest you engage your wife on those terms first. Tell her that honest communication is the key to successful marriages. Apologize for the insensitive way you dropped some of your kinky fantasies on her like a cartoon anvil. (And it way insensitive, by the way. You presented her with a pile of documents!?!) Tell her that you realize that the way you did it was all about you lustful wants and you hadn't thought about her feelings enough, but that you wwanted to know her feelings, no so much on that specific fetish, but on sex and the relationship in general. Share with her your thoughts and be honest to the point of vulnerable - don't try to talk her into anything, or sell anything, or guide the outcome at all. If you are very open and honest with her, it will encourage her to be the same - but not if she thinks you are trying to 'win' or trap her or manipulate her.

I also advise a lot of reasssuring in your comments. In my experience ne of the reamisters people freak at the thought of swinging or cuckolding is the concern that this means that deep-down, you are looking for the exit door. It is also my experience that people only really engage in swinging or cuckolding when they feel very secure and safe in their relationship (or when they no longer give a fuck about it, but you don't want to go there) so the fear that you are looking beyond is totally counterproductive.

Your comments to her need to be completely honest and truthful (which is not to say blunt or lacking in tact. Show some love here!) so I can't really tell you what to say exactly, but I will also advise you to focus on 1. your desire to please and fullfill her, 2. your feelings and desires. Do not talk about other people. What I mean is, talk about the idea of her with other men makes you feel, how (and what) you think it makes her (hot, rather than low, which is what she might think), why you thought she could get into it. The internals, not the externals.

If you have this conversation (and it probably is several discussions over time) and diffuse her anger, you can begin to understand her reactions and get a look at what her turn-ons and tolerances are. That may end up where you want or may not, but that is just the way life is.

Good luck.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

The idea that cuckolding is only about offense is untrue. The word has been perverted. If you look it up in the dictionary, you will see that a cuckold is a man whose wife cheats on him...period, it does not mean anything else.

Many people here are into the offense aspect. I am not judging that, in fact, there are times that the idea of being humiliated to some degree turns me on.

As to your wifes reaction. She is frightened. I would guess that she doesn't like the idea of you being humiliated and is really turned off by it. I would suggest that at this point you drop it for a while and concentrate on having great sex as a way of reassuring her that you are still the same guy. After a while bring up your previous experience and find out what she liked about it. As a poster above mentioned, this lifestyle has many aspects. It is best not to label it. Just go with what you both enjoy.

Hope you have fun

This thread is a classic example of why men should never take advice on how to handle and treat a woman from women. If we all took your advice, we would all be doormats and Mr. Nice Guys and all left out in the cold.

Hey guy, you need to stand up for yourself, stop blaming yourself, and call her on HER rude, immature and insensitive behavior. You confided your sexual fantasies in her, YOUR WIFE for God's sake and she got angry and now refuses to talk about it anymore and has totally said no to any more sexual swinging even though she previously enjoyed it?

The problem is not with you but with HER.

Be a man and tell her to stop her attitude and acting like a kid and acting all emotional trying to manipulate you. It's ridiculous. Hell, I'd walk out on a woman like that. How could you possibly consider apologizing to her? Apologize for what? Trying to share your sexual fantasies with her? What's wrong with that? Who cares how you did it? Sure, dumping all the papers on her was a little classless but certainly not enough to warrant her over reaction and little temper tantrum and now cutting off sex. Hey, if a wife withholds sex as a way to manipulate and hurt you, WALK out the door.

I can't even bring myself to read your whole messages guy. You're a wuss bag when it comes to women. Stand up for yourself for God's sake. Don't listen to women's advice either, they don't have a clue when it comes to how to attract a woman or how to keep your relationship happy from a male's perspective. (note to the women: you mean well and think you know what he should do, but you don't. You're giving him the opposite advice of what he should do)

Women are not attracted or interested in a wuss bag man who they can manipulate and keep under their heel. And I"M NOT talking about sexual games here, I'm talking about the real day to day relationship. My wife and I play dom games and I watch her have sex with other men BUT I'm also a man in all the other times. Now when I say that, I don' t mean to be a rude, controlling asshole, I mean to be a man and call her on HER bad behavior. Learn to say NO once in a while, learn to be confident, in control of your emotions, and be a challenge. Don't be so available to her or a pushover.

She owes YOU an apology and a good long talk about what HER problem is.

And you need to read and buy everything you can from this guy:

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

I used to be a wuss bag too and women pushed me around and used me all the time until I got this guy's material and studied it and practised it and after a year, I started to get it. Turned my life around and I'm now happily with a gorgeous woman whom I enjoy playing sex games with and she's head over heels about me. And I would NEVER take the cuckolds brownie that you are from your wife.

GEEZE !