My First Post: I fully deserved to be a cuckold!

I have recently joined this forum site, and this is my first post. It is an honest introduction about myself.
I truely deserved to be a cuckold. And I accept all of the blame and total responsibility of it. And by this I mean that i should have to own up to my new status and do all the things required of a cuckolded male.

My wife was a faithfully obedient wife to me, a church going women with high moral standards. But i grew bored with her faithfully predictably ways and took her total devotion and loyalty for granted. I began to get interested in porn and soon became addicted to xxx websites and videos. I think I may have had sex with my wife maybe a few times per month. I never performed oral sex on her, as i thought it was far too gross to do. I was constantly flirting with other women at the college I attended, while I expected my wife to stay home and be a good housekeeping obediant wife.

My wife then met a male who was far better looking than me, paid her all the attention I did not, and made her feel like a person of value. He would always compliment her appearance while I took it all for granted and completely ignored her appearance. My wife would wear new cloths and get new hair styles that I would competely ignore. While her new male friend complimented her looks every day, i would spend most of the time thinking about the girls i flirt with and whack off to porn mags and tapes. My wife was literally suffocating for some attention. My wife was not a slut or promiscous easy women, the first 3 months of her friendship with the guy she would not remove any clothing, just kissing and hugging/fondling.

Finally after about 6 months of her steady devoted relationship to this friend of hers. She accepted dates to movies, dinners, etc. etc. All would end with a simple good night kiss. I continued to have a heavy relationship with my porn collection and daydreaming and flirting with other women. My sex with my wife soon became a few times on a good month with absolutely no licking of her vagina---as I considered that too gross. Sex was only a quickie in the missionary position. I doubt if i ever brought my wife to orgasm, as I was far to selfish to think of her needs for regularly satisfying orgasms, or even simple compliments.

Well, as you can probably guessed, her friend then became her regularly devoted lover. He supplied her with what she desperately needed. It was not cheap sex, or lustfull sex, the sexual intercourse between my wife and her lover came as a result of two people being in total LOVE. Sexual intercourse is what two people who long for each other and love each other very much do to one another. Her lover made her feel like a real women. He would compliment her busts, buttocks, hips, hair, and face on a regular basis.....while I failed to do that.
He was very considerate and thoughtfull of her sexual needs. He would always perform oral sex on her and bring her to orgasm at least a few times per week. When he did have sexual intercourse with her, he would make sure my wife would have a full complete orgasm.

We have since divorced. I have told my wife by phone and letter and email, that i accept full responsibility for the marriage failing and that i also accept full responsibility of being a CUCKOLDED HUSBAND.
I told her that I should be made, as required, without excuse, to do the things a cuckolded male should have to do. I am the one at fault. I should have to own up to performing the duties of a cuckold.
I gave my word to my ex-wife that i would drop to my knees, wearing only panties, and suck off her new lover and swallow all his ejaculated sperm. She replied that she would like to see me doing it completely naked so that she "could see me enjoy myself", whatever that meant. Still the wearing of the panties is still on the table for her to choose. I told her that I would like for her to have several of her female friends watch me suck off her lover. The bottom line now is that i am a CUCKOLD, I am aware what they must do, AND I GAVE MY WORD AND PROMISE TO DO SO.....so backing out of it not an option.

It is all up to my ex-wife and her new lover to proceed with treating me the way a cuckold SHOULD be treated.

After I gave my word and promise to suck her lovers cock, I neglected to ask her or enquirer about how many times per week and for how many months/years I should be made to continue to suck her lover's cock. IS THERE A TIME LIMIT???

I also forgot to tell her that I am very concerned about her friends showing up with smart phone camera's to record videos, take pictures, and stream it live on the internet. I am so terrified of it being uploaded to the internet where it will remain forever and ever, being accessible to everyone! How can I trust her and her friends not to post it on the internet---or is it too late, or do I even have a right to even request she not have pics and videos posted on the internet.

I wish I would of considered both how many times and for how long I would have to suck off her lovers cock, and about her keeping it all between us and not telling others or posting pics and videos on the internet before I made my promise! She may also make me admit to stuff while the video is recording and have her friends say loud teasing remarks to maximize my embarressment! BUT I ALREADY GAVE MY WORD TO SUCK IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS AS A CUCKOLD SISSY BOY SHOULD HAVE TO!

I am very shy, bashfull, and embaressed to post this, but I feel to be an honest true cuckold i should have to give me a proper introduction since this is my first post. I will soon be going to an adult book store to buy a rubber life-like penis so I can practice and get the feel of what it is going to be like to suck a real cock.

Any comments or advice will be appreciated!

----Maven Maze