My ex-gf uses me as a fake lover for obtaining a lover! -- need advice

Strongly need an advice, please!

10 years ago i was in relationship with stunningly beautiful caucasian girl in Eastern Europe.

She, by her own will, left her current husband for me, despite he was 100 times more rich
and powerful, then me (just university graduated those years).

She was divorced twice before meeting me, and was okay to marry again.
I was young and didn't want to have family, though did love her madly.
We've been meeting 2 years, then she left me for a famous book-writer,
married him and brought 2 babies. Funny, that i was the one, who gave her
the idea to marry him, cause i felt responsibillity to care of the woman I love.
It was a paradox: i wanted to be her lover, but also wanted her to cheat on
me with someone, who has more rights on her. Once, 2 month after we became
lovers, i occasionally caught her kissing hard with her ex-husband.
I was amazed and dissappointed. But i can`t deny it was very sexy as well.

After divorcing that book-writer, she used to live several years with
a lesbian girl-friend, raising their ki*ds, and then felt in love with a co-worker
living next city. He flirts with her, and shows his interest, but avoid making
things go too sexual for some unknown reason.

Therefore, she decides... to go for help to me)))
All these years I was under her spell, no doubts.
Like a reserve player or smth)
I keep loving her outstanding personallity, and she is extremely good looking.

I haven't had sex with anyone for last 7 years, imagining her an ideal
princess, which i do not deserve (and/or don't want to be responsible for?)
I felt frustration and deprivation, but i like it somehow..
All these years I was her constant never-leaving friend, trully charmed by
not only her body, but a person she was.
So, she wrote me and offered to be lovers again, for a period of 2-3 months,
untill she seduces her new love of her live) And i would be her intellectual and
situative helper in it - to make this guy feel jealousy or smth like that)
That was the offer I coudn't say no!
She visited me at home and we had a hot date, but I had no orgasm (she did!)
as she had to run back to her work in the very middle of coitus!

Being much into cuck porn and stories for last years, I was feeling myself on
the wrong place in this normal sexual act. I strongly needed some hum*ili*ation
and sub-roles. I understood, that i just didn't want to play a bull role I started!
My penis was no more than half-erected and felt down repeatedly. I've been
shoving it with my hand, as it was too weak and soft, that i actually like, when
stroking to porn movies. But i would much prefer a cock in my own ass.
She came hard, as I was rubbing her clit, she put on clothes and just ran away,
as i stayed to lay on my tired soft dick!
I had blue balls, was angry, and aroused, but it excited me 10 times stronger,
than a chance to normal orgasm! I jerked off day later, but still dreaming to stay
unworthy lover to her...


So, the questions i think of, are:
- i psyhologically like to stay soft when having sex. am i ruined as a lover?
- should i marry her and raise kids or find next lucky guy to attach her?
- how exactly can i help her to make relations with a guy she chose?
- i want to stay unworthy lover with her, with a limp dick and weak personallity,
absolutely want this orgasm denial, ruined orgasms and submissive roles
(like cleanup and everywhing) but don't want to be fully rejected and loose her.

thanks in advance!)

She is a user of men, and feels insecure, except for her perceived physical beauty, she will not bring any love or pleasure to any man other than during an orgasm...dump the bitch and turn the tables on her. Then she will become the manipulated rather than the manipulator...any feeling you have for her is wasted on her. Get your life back with someone who truly likes and loves you for what you are, not what they want you to be...bon chance.

Thanks for replies!

".any feeling you have for her is wasted on her" - true, but somehow i like to be in this position of giving unwanted sacrifices...

Any other opinions, please?
What will ladies say?

No, you are just a different kind of lover. If you want (and can) stay soft while having sex you can still bring people pleasure, just not through penetration. Since you prefer that your lovers get their penetration elsewhere this is not really a problem. Of course this style of sex (like any style) may not be attractive to everyone, so you will be a fine lover for people into you being soft and a disappointing one for people who want you hard.


It is impossible for anyone to really say without knowing you and her and the situation much better, but I will make a few observations: You are into cuckold porn. You have been reluctant to marry her. You have not been upset, indeed you have been happy and relieved when she has found someone else and left you in the past. You have been turned on when she "cheated" on you in the past. You were enthusiastic about her offer to use you a weigh-station. You say you feel wrong having conventional sex and indeed have problems getting aroused enough by it. You say you very much want h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n and sexual s-u-b-m-i-s-s-i-o-n. You say that you came incredibly hard as a result of her using you as a sex toy and leaving you in the lurch. You are writing on this site.

It sounds to me like your instincts are telling you your answer. If you wanted to marry her and be conventional you wouldn't hesitate. You are hesitating because what you want is so unconventional and taboo. So, if you want it so bad, why not go for it? Really, what do you lose?


Follow her lead; but two things occur: (1) You can build him up to her - never be critical, speak of how impressive he is, try to encourage her to be forgiving and tolerant if she is upset with him. (2) You can provide HIM with useful information about the way to her heart (and loins) based on how well you already know her. Let drop some casual mention of her likes and dislikes in activities, gifts, men's clothing, etc.


This all depends on her. The truth is that I don't think you can keep it going without her connivance. So my advice here is to level with her. Tell her that you really love the idea of her "parking" with you and you helping her find someone new. Tell her that you would be happy to do it again in the future after the next guy or whenever she needs. See how she reacts. You ought also to tell her how great the sex was the other day and that you really loved that she just took her own pleasure and didn't bother with yours and that you are happy to have her put her pleasure first and only give you any when she feels like it. See how she reacts to this.

My guess is that you will end up in a really frank conversation where you confess all your darkest kinks and tell her your dream life would be one where she did this bouncing back to you whenever she needed between guys and your energies were devoted to her happiness while ignoring you own sexual needs. (Wait until she hears not only that it has been seven years, but you are happy to pledge fidelity to her even if she never does you again!)

If she reacts badly and it all is too freaky, then you can always stop short of full confessions. Or you go ahead with them and put the choice on her. (You never know, she may decide that that IS a guy she wants to marry!)

Good luck and please let us know how things work out!
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

In the past (10 years ago) I fucked her in classical mode, and it usually lasted 30-90 minutes, as i always wanted to prolong the pleasure. So, obviously she must be expecting smth like that now). I am afraid to be rejected for ******* my submissive desires instead of previous normal sex life.


Great words! Will do it.


Actually, she ran away, cause her boss told her to hurry up. She feels sorry for this now and thinks, she must make amends now. She was in lesbian relationships as a submissive, and i don't feel she likes to lead or dominate. So, i doubt she would like this idea.


I guess, these words will make her think, that either i am a wanking psyho maniac, or - most likely - a totally worthless loser, not needed by any woman around, and definitely not worthy to spend her time on me.
I asked her, if our contract restict me dating other women, cause i was gonna date sexwife wannabe next day, met on local website. She took thought and answered: "no, you can, if you want, but i suspect you wouldn't".
And I asked her, if my value increased by the fact i dating others. She said: definetely yes!
So we decided to let everyone know, she has a lover to upgrade her sexual rank in the eyes of her prey)

If any real sexwife reading this, please advice, how to solve this issue!
Other comments are very welcome too!)

Probably, it flatters, and sounds great if heard from someone you love. But if I confess, that i am serious about "to pledge fidelity to her even if she never do me again", she will want to avoid me, like if I tell i will commit suicide because of her. This will sound scary, i think. Now we chat easily, cause i don't tell her, what she did to me and don't make her feel guilty and/or responsible for that.

well, 2 weeks later she invited me at her place late evening after her kids went to bed.
she called to cancel the meeting, as she found out she found out she got flue.
but i was parking near her house that moment already with flowers and champaine,
so i came in just to have a hug.
i fucked her about 40 min without condom, till both her cunt and my cock get sored.
She did come and i didnt. Then i kissed her goodbye and went home to spend next week
in bed..

Married Dom" is right and wise!

Indeed, rereading you last comment korokoko, I noticed something I overlooked before: She was a sub in a lesbian relationship? And you seriously think she doesn't know your a sub and kinkster? You think she won't understand your desires?

So anyway, it's been about a year and a half. How do things stand?
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

well, we split up by my initiative.
i don.t feel she needs me at all - **** doesn.t give a ****
i used to think she was playing some game,
but she was just spitting on my existance