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Your wife's cute. Is she playing too? If so, fun game. Good idea.

Step 1: Go buy or order her a Hitachi magic wand if she doesn't have one already. If she doesn't, your about to give her something she's gonna love.

Wait for it to arrive

Day 1:

Step 1: Before bed time go to your room and clean it up, make sure the bathroom's clean, put the toilet seat down. Put the lid on the tooth paste. Make the damn bed. Make sure the bedrooms warm. Plug in the magic wand in such a fashion that she can easily use it on her side of the bed. Tell her to shut the door when she goes to bed and text you when it's okay for you to come back in.

Step 2: Sit outside the door if you want, go mow the lawn or do your taxes or surf the internet. I don't care, just leave your junk alone.

Step 3: When she texts, return to to the room, offer to put the wand away, ask her if she needs a glass of water or piece of chocolate or something else nice. Don't ask her if she liked it or if she came or any such crap. Notice her, see if you can tell, keep your conclusions to yourself. After that go to bed or whatever, you get nothing tonight.

try to deal with it with some class.

How's that?

Not really into you begging me to do anything. How bout I tell her what to do and you beg her?

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How'd it go?

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