becoming a fag?

So once upon a time, my ex used a strapon on me, then she bought a bigger dildo, and I would ride it at her request.
Fast forward 12 years, and my wife (not ex) throws out a dildo we've had for a while. It's a good sized 10 incher, but she's advanced from that
Seeing that I start thinking hmmmm..... well that was six months ago. And just now I was lying on the floor with that big black cock up my ass, with the curtains half open, so if the neighbor's gardeners would have looked the right way, they would have seen me fucking my ass, and jerking my little cock for all it was worth.
And the secret wish was that one would see me, and sneak over after the other two had left- to tell me he's got some real cock to fuck my ass with.
How in the world does this happen? I used to just fantasize about my wife getting fucked by a bigger dick, now I'm the one who needs it as well.

yep...better get your panty and lingeire collection started!
sissy lindsey

Pictures PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

i think i know how you feel. i started out wanting to watch my wife get fucked by a huge cock. now i wnat to suck a cock. but i dont want to kiss a man, or hold hands with a man or have intimate conversations with a man,or have a romanic relationship with a man. but i will suck the cock of the man that fucks my wife. bewildered.

Your question touches on controversial and unsettled areas of semantics, gender politics, and psychology. But since you asked, maybe I can share a little that will help you sort out your own views.

The most current thought among sex researchers is that straight men can develop a cock fetish and that this is distinct from being gay. Of course this begs the thorny question of the definition of "being gay," but among sex researchers (as opposed to the public) it refers to a sexual orientation (that is "an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual, affectional, or romantic attractions") towards members of the same-sex. Significantly, it is not defined simply by a type of sex act or two, but by a wider range of commitment and relationship, and includes "personal and social identity based on those attractions." That all sounds (and is) really complicated but for your question it comes down to this: Lusting after cock does not a fag make.

(For experts. Folk definitions and the opinions of neighbors and their gardeners will vary. Also, a growing number of experts are looking more closely at the brain's chemical response to stimuli, which is different in some cases for homo males then it is for hetro males.)

This being the case, researchers have noticed the large number of men whose full sexual orientation (and brain chemistry reactions) clearly classes them as "straight," but who nevertheless demonstrate a sexual fixation on cocks specifically, though not men generally. (Some have even suggested that this is majority of men. For a good discussion of this, see A Billion Wicked Thoughts a recent book exploring the information from internet search engines. The others also have a blog of the same name if you want to search the 'net.) The cock in these obsessions is often disconnected from a male owner, as in strap-on fantasies or TV/She-Male porn, (where the illusion is the the possessor of the cock is female gendered) or by assigning it to a generic/faceless/permisterality-less male. Think of it this way: Those into men (as well as cocks) often think of burying their faces into the man's chest, those into cocks (and not men) mostly just think of burying their face into the man's pubes or his carpet.

So one way this happens is that your cuckolding fetish became (or was from the get go) bound up in a burgeoning cock fetish which has grown and been r-e-i-n-f-o-r-c-e-d by the cuckolding activities. Being a cuckold is a form of h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n play (much as some on this board hate to admit) and for many being butt-fucked is a powerful ritual of sexual h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n. You and your ex also experimented this with the strap-ons, perhaps r-e-i-n-f-o-r-c-i-n-g that specific h-u-m-i-l-i-a-t-i-o-n activity in your sexual imagination. It is always hard to parse out the "chicken and egg" of a person's fetishes, but they do tend to run in bundles. It seems that your sexual activities with your current wife (whether she cuckolds you in real life or just as dirty talk with her dildo) are not sufficiently charged to satisfy, so you are now engaging in solo toy play and risk play (that open curtain).

However, there is also another way this happens sometimes. Another thing cuckolds like us are loath to admit is that some percentage of cuckold fetishes are gay men in some sort of denial to themselves or society about themselves. (We don't like to admit it because there is always some dimwit who wants to suggest that this is all cuckolds, which both case study and math shows to be totally wrong.) So it is possible that you have always been attracted to men (not just lusted after cocks) but denying it married a woman, avoided unpleasant (to you) hetero sex by encouraging her to seek others for it (enjoying a vicarious seduction as a bonus), and encouraged (the ex at least) her to dom you into scenes that mimic MTM sex (the strap-on). In this scenario, you may now finally be coming to terms with what you really want and the driving need to get a real cock up your ass is only a strategy for ultimately forming a full romantic partnership with a man.

It seems to me that you are likely to know pretty clearly which (if either) of these two "how this happens" your case is. If you are in doubt, it is almost certainly the first. Straight homopanic tends to lead to such uncertainty, whereas if it is the second you would likely know it for sure and try to avoid it somehow.

Of course there may be other ways it can happen but these are the two you are most likely to hear from researchers. (Personally, my life has raised some occasional doubts about parts of the current scholarly thinking expressed above. But then I'm not an expert, just a perv like you.)

I hope that is helpful. Good luck sorting it out.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Why even worry about what it is called. If you are posting on the topic you are admittedly sub, and your wife is Dom. As such the lover will quickly become Dom over you too. How else can it work other than to go from a fantasy, to reality, then to cream pie clean up, to pre and post clean up sucking of the lover cock, to eating the cum from your wife’s mouth then to directly from the cock, then to the lover taking your ass if he wants. At first it might be with a condom, but soon it will be bareback and you will feel his cum dripping out. All the while you will fall further and further into sub space and crave more. No matter how you might feel at times after the act. You may curse yourself for letting it happen or that it got you off, but you will want it again. To feel that extreme swing of mixed emotions. To cast off all responsiblity of the actions taking place. Call it what you want, it is a natural evolution for a sub cuckold to become hooked on the sex with both your wife and the bull/lover. I know this from being there, but as much as I hate to admit, I love and crave it all. But I would never think of going out looking for a man to have sex with nor do I want to kiss, hug, or snuggle with a man.

Excellent ideas and thread! It is good to see men taking stock of their sexualities with objectivity and balanced thinking!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

Good advice up there, that could be taken further. I don't label myself (he says, laughing at my nickname), in a particular box of straight/bi/homo as I feel it just leads to needless discussion on whether I'm 'confused'

When we sub, we usually have the control in the relationship and choose to sub, and I say that because I could easily go upstairs and put on my boy pants (hopes, she hasn't thrown them out in the trash), but I choose not to. And, likewise, I choose who I sub too, therefore I have control.

My partner has used a strap on for a number of years, the first step was chastity because I used to cum really quickly. After cleaning her up after her 'visits' I then admitted that I would like her Bulls/lovers to fuck me, this took a lot of teasing and probing.

The first time I laid on top of her, kissing whilst her lover entered me was the most electric time I've ever had. I'm not saying it would have suited everyone, but it suited me.

I still wouldn't call myself gay becasue I worship the ground, my partner walks on, butI still love cock and all that comes with it.

Happy hunting, find yourself, but don't be put in a box. Unless your Dom decides that you're going in a box, but that's a story for a whole different weekend.

xxx
Love & kisses

sissyfagcuck

cuckold, sissy, faggot, cumeater, cocksucker locked in chastity, I love eating Bull cum and creampies, currently taking anal training from select Bulls

A great, thoughtful thread . . . which also happens to describe my current feelings. I can get off on the idea of a woman powering me to go down on a cock, but can't imagine a relationship with a man. Thanks for the nuanced perspective on what this might mean for me (and I imagine, quite a few others like me). How many others are there like us?