Sandra and the mens surplus

"What if this guy from the car pooling is a hottie?"
"It would be cool. If so, I'll hide and you take him home."


Imagine that your own girlfriend wants to ***** with the unfamiliar driver from the car pooling on a harmless ride. It happened to me–and many other things.

I bid you welcome to my book series "Aims to cause suffering – my life as a swinger, wife-sharer and cuckold."

With this works, I'm looking forward to taking all of you, who are interested, along on my erotic journey through my sexual life of the past twenty years. In this book series, I talk about my first steps as a swinger, my experiences as a wifesharer and my development into a cuckold.

Books 1-6 are now available on Amazon:

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I will attach one story out of book number 6. Enjoy!!!


In that short time, we had already experienced so much: two threesomes, various individual dates from Sandra, our first gangbang and now successful swinger club visits including partner swaps. The pace we set was supersonic. Everything happened so fast. Of course, we wondered ourselves. We had only just got together, then we moved in together very quickly, then came my confession about my life as a swinger and cuckold. And within a few weeks we had swinger experiences in a hurry that other couples need years for. Whether that was healthy or not cannot be judged today either. It was just that we felt like it and didn't slow down. We had an idea and just lived it out. We had no obligations at the time and just did what we liked. We just enjoyed our colorful sex life. We had found our way and it took us from experience to experience within just a few weeks.
One thing was doing but important from the beginning. I defined Sandra and myself more as swingers and Wifesharing couple, rather than Cuckold couple. I didn't want to let it get so far again that my partner made sexually exclusive decisions and acted for us. We came first, and our adventures should be far after that. All of the sexual experiences were important to us, but by no means more meaningful than our happiness as a couple. I wanted to experience things in harmony with my girlfriend as a couple. Switching, swinger club visits and private meetings with couples should be as much a part, such as occasional solo efforts, but the two of us.
The first foursome with Jeanette and Enrico was the beginning. It should be the starting shot for us as a sexually open couple. The experience in the oasis was our beginning as a polysexual couple who had broken away from a pure wifesharing and cuckold couple. And since then Sandra and I have lived as a couple on an equal footing. We both have the opportunity to let off steam sexually. We have mutual permission to ***** with other people. That permission exists for both of us. And that feeling of freedom means a lot to me. Not, that Sandra and I would take advantage of excessively frequent option. But it shows me that my partner and I trust each other blindly. We allow ourselves our freedoms and do not put chains on ourselves. This state has made me very happy since the beginning of our relationship.
Despite all the swinger experiences and the possibilities of an open relationship, I was of course still cuckold and still had cuckold feelings in me. That couldn't be turned off just like that. And I did not want to suppress this under any circumstances. Since it came just at us, as a big party series called Women Selection in LeCoq guested in Wörrstadt.
We had heard plenty of good things from the party. The couples and men were carefully selected. Overweight, old and neglected people should not be there. Everything should be done in style and there should be a healthy male-female ratio, a criterion that is not easy to meet at a men's surplus party. Usually there are too many men of all caliber there, the main thing is that the organizers make enough profit. But one thing first: Womens Selection was really a positive exception in this regard.
The men all looked splendid, they were all very well dressed, stylish in appearance and almost all of them with immaculate demeanor. The same applied to the women and couples present. No pair was negatively out of line, no men's thongs, flip-flops or fine rib shirts.
The party was well organized from start to finish. And even if the organizer himself a certain antipathy put on the day, his party was still a great success.
We had actually arranged to meet a couple of friends and a single lady from our circle of acquaintances at the party. But without further ado, all three canceled and Sandra and I disagreed in the afternoon about whether we should go anyway or stay at home. We decided without further ado to go there alone, curiosity had grabbed us and overwhelmed us. In addition, the drive to the LeCoq was not very far, so we had nothing to lose.
I already knew the club from the past, I had been there before, but could only vaguely remember things. The club itself was a former mansion. Many areas in the club still bear witness to this. For example, there was a large marble bathroom on the first floor. Part of the bathroom was a large bathtub in the middle of the room. It hardly makes sense in a swinger's club, but it probably comes from the times when someone still lived in the villa.
The entire property was located in Wörrstadt in an industrial area, fenced off by a parking garage and various company buildings. The location wasn't particularly nice, but the interior was quite impressive.
So, Sandra and I came in and changed our clothes first.
Sandra looked adorable as always. She had bought new lingerie especially for the occasion, which made her stand out. She wore coarse-meshed fishnet stockings, each with a glittering stone, similar to a Swarovski crystal. Her legs were dressed appropriately sexy and glittered in the light. We found it online and ordered it straight away. Sandra was asked several times about the stockings in the course of the evening, they were really something special. Over it she wore a silver, very tight mini dress. It also glittered and was a real eye-catcher. Sandra looked a bit like a little astronaut. Together with the suspenders, the dress was stunning and stood out from the crowd, that's what she had wished for. She also wore her black and white pumps and a black thong.
Image: Sandra in her outfit that evening at Le Coq

With her long blonde hair and her slim figure, she looked great in her dress. She kept attracting attention. There were several men who spoke to me in the course of the evening and envied my partner. Sandra was actually the most attractive woman of the evening and was always turned on.
This is how we had imagined the whole thing. We really wanted to let it rip after the private experiences and the experiences in the clubs beforehand. We had pulled ourselves to drive here and now we wanted to enjoy it to the full. Sandra and I were firmly convinced that we would have plenty of sex that evening. Sandra in particular wanted to let several guys pull her down on her for once. What had not really worked out in Gangbang in Berlin, should be made up this evening. She had now sufficient experience and confidence gained in order to take advantage of the party in all trains.
First of all, as always, we explored the club together. We left the sparsely furnished changing rooms in the basement and went to the ground floor. The entire non-sexual area was located there: dining room, buffet, bar, fireplace room and spa area.
The area where you could eat, was the original entrance hall of the villa. Around the large, elegant marble staircase up to the first floor there were numerous tables and chairs for refreshment. You sat there a bit on the presentation plate, but the area around worlds was more beautiful than in the fire & ice.
The food selection itself was decent. There were the typical clubs for meals such as cold schnitzel, pasta salad, plus two warm dishes and side dishes. There was a small salad buffet and various small desserts. All in all, the food buffet was more than satisfactory.
The bar, which Sandra and I found the club's biggest flaw, was directly adjacent to the dining area. The bar was in a small room, about half of which was taken up by the bar. The remaining few square meters had to be enough to accommodate masses of visitors and meet their needs for ******. The party had over 200 registrations, most of them appeared at the same time, again a majority of them wanted to grab a ***** and get to know each other comfortably at the bar. That made sure that there was no getting through around the bar. It felt like a Christmas market. There was an irrepressible crowd and shoving. For two simple *****s you stood in line for ten minutes. The barmaids did the rest to the fact that the waiting period beyond good and evil was. At this point, the party and the club revealed its only weak points.
Adjacent to the completely overcrowded bar area was a room with a fireplace. It was very romantic and relaxed there. You could sink into comfortable armchairs by the fireplace. However, smoking was allowed by the fireplace and so it was accordingly stuffy in the otherwise very idyllic area.
At the end of the corridor, behind the fireplace room, there was a sauna and a large pool. Both looked a bit sterile. The area was very sparsely visited during the evening. I understand that very few couples want to go swimming at such a party. Women in particular are concerned about their makeup. But the area was quite worth a visit, even if we ourselves neither swam nor went to the sauna.
We had to back through fireplace lounge and a bar in the foyer, the stairs to go to the first floor. It was huge, the steps were made of marble, the railing was gilded and the stairs themselves were curved. It looked like a staircase from 1001 nights. It made a powerful impression and was practically the figurehead of this pompous villa.
Once at the top, like in most clubs, we found numerous playrooms. To the right of the stairs there was a dark mat with walls with holes around it. The playground was about six square meters and reminded me a lot of my favorite mat in the oasis. Sandra and I should have a lot of fun there later on.
Opposite her was a large bathroom including a bathtub. The whole bathroom was furnished to a very high standard, with marble and the finest materials. Here you could see immediately that someone had once spent a lot of money on this house. Everything blinked and showed off.
From the stairs to the left there were two more playgrounds. One of them was provided with a wall with holes, at the front it was completely open. Another playground, which was completely open to the front and was only a bit hidden from view by silk scarves, was located directly in front of the stairs. At the very back there was a separate corridor. There was another small bathroom and an extra room. The room was small, there were three mats on the right side as a small play area. A small ladder went up to the left. Under the roof there was an additional play area with four or five mats. At the bottom of the ladder there was also a sign that indicated that the upper playground was reserved exclusively for couples.
Our tour had already given us anticipation. We had watched the first ones having sex and had already gotten excited. We liked the decor and ambience and we expected an exciting evening.
The club was already well filled early on, we didn't know that from other parties. Ü was going on everywhere something. The bar was bursting at the seams, the dining room looked like a canteen at noon. There were already people in lingerie everywhere and more guests kept coming and running down the stairs to the changing rooms. When we were just wandering around the club, we surprisingly met a couple from the Joyclub who were friends. We didn't really know her yet and were happy to finally get to know her personally. Together we looked for a free spot in the dining area. We sat down on an empty bench and chatted for a while. The two had started all the way from Cologne, because word had got around as far as North Rhine-Westphalia that this series of parties was a success. Both were still very young, but had already experienced a lot, especially in the cuckold sector, from where we first knew them. A nice chat developed. We exchanged ideas about new experiences and acquaintances. And of course, we also talked about cuckolding and came together on the idea of a WhatsApp group for interested like-minded young couples to start. After we had eaten together and ***** a cocktail, we decided together to go upstairs and leave us there finally driving times.
Since I had collected in the oasis around the playground with the holes mostly good experiences, which should also this evening, our first port of call be. In the corridor around the small playground it was very narrow and extremely dark. It was hot and very stuffy. A small outer window at the very end of the corridor was darkened and closed, and condensation was already forming on the pane. Sandra and I leaned against the wall and hugged. We looked into the playground. There was already a lot of hustle and bustle there. Numerous women and men were busy with each other, it was a hustle and bustle. The same applied to the area in the corridor itself in which we were standing, it was very crowded and narrow. Unfortunately, unlike in the oasis, you couldn't even walk around the mat. The corridor was a dead end. As a result, people kept walking past us and running back a little later. Sandra and I tried to hide this and started kissing. It was a crackling mood, there was bare skin everywhere. Snuggled close together, we caressed each other and watched the crowd in front of us. We heard moans and claps. It got wild, a woman was obviously on the mat with several men. She blew a cock, let herself be banged at the same time and still had the capacity to work other straps with her hands. It was exciting to watch her, Sandra and I really got horny on her. We ourselves became increasingly active as a result. Sandra took care of my pants, in no time she opened the buttons and pulled the fabric down. I had a strong latte for a long time and was looking forward to Sandra's lips. She bent down in front of me and took my thong in her mouth. It was an indescribable feeling, a shudder ran through my body. I leaned relaxed against the wall and let Sandra do it. Again, and again I pressed her head tighter on my stand. And Sandra was doing, what she could so well, they blew the tail. In the meantime, a couple had joined us. I could barely see her, it was just too dark in the hallway. But they looked slim and I roughly estimated them at our age. No sooner had they taken the place next to us than they started right away. She pulled her companion's pants down a bit and began to suck his cock straight away. He leaned his back against the wall in the same position as I did. Together, the stranger and I enjoyed how our women spoiled each other orally. I thought nothing more of it. But while I stood there totally relaxed and was fixated on Sandra, you could see him with consecutive time at a certain restlessness. He moved closer and closer to me, kept looking down at Sandra and mentally seemed to keep breaking away from his partner. And his girlfriend you could see that somehow she seemed to support his plan. Something seemed to be up to this strange couple. And while she continued to blow his trunk, he moved closer to us bit by bit and she crawled after kneeling on the floor. I didn't let that bother me and continued to enjoy Sandra's caresses. I leaned against the wall and let Sandra do the work. She sucked my cock wonderfully, it was hard as a board and I was very horny. There was that feeling of security and security that Sandra had always conveyed to me. Everything with her just felt right, so relaxed and stress-free. I pulled her upstairs and we kissed again extensively. Our tongues played with each other. I slowly began to stroke her bosom. To do this, I opened the dress a little at the back and pulled it down with the straps. The dress was now on her hip, the upper body was exposed. The couple next to us watched her intensively. He moved even closer to us, our shoulders so that now almost touching. But she had repositioned herself and was lingering next to him on his other side. You could tell that he was up to something but didn't want her to be included. I continued to stroke Sandra's tits and pressed my lips to hers. I was now very curious about what the man next to us was planning and why his girlfriend was acting so defensively. When I put my hand the first time at Sandra's pussy, I realized two things certain: first, that Sandra was wet already powerful. Her thong was soaking wet, it was literally dripping with pleasure. Second, that the man next to us was clearly after Sandra. Because just at the moment when I let go of her tits, he groped my friend's breasts. Sandra wasn't shocked at all. She looked at me briefly, I stayed relaxed and she began to enjoy the strange hands. She was here at the party to be touched and used. So, she was only too happy to let it happen. I made some space for the man on purpose. I got on my knees and took off Sandra's panties. It was really wet, her horniness could be felt without a doubt. I let the panties slide to the floor and immediately began to lick her column. Sandra had meanwhile stood in my position and leaned against the wall. She opened her pussy and let me enter deeper with my tongue. It was damn hot and already tasted intensely of pleasure. And with my first touch she began also equal to moan and shiver. The man next to us had meanwhile completely stopped taking care of his partner. Instead, he just pushed his tongue into Sandra's mouth. He literally leaned on her and they kissed passionately with everything that went with it. He fondled her boobs, kneaded her tits and pressed them tighter against the wall. He had taken possession of her without a word. His girlfriend was about three feet away. She stroked his back, but remained aloof. Her body language was clear: have fun, I'll watch you. I had never met a female cuckold, i.e. a cuckqueen, in my life. But that was exactly what it seemed to be. She obviously liked it when her partner made out with strange ladies. And who could blame her for that? I could only too well sympathize with, what she felt. And on my part, there was no move to change anything in the situation. I also liked the role of the spectator very much. And so, she stood right by Sandra and husband and I left the two and we watched how our two partners enjoyed themselves together.
The sight made me extra sharp. I enjoyed this submissive role. And somehow it also turned me on that I didn't start making out with her. I had indeed seen many times, as Sandra was having sex with a stranger. That wasn't the subject. But we had never had any sexual contact with a man in a club. That was exciting. But most of all, I liked the way she did it. Sandra was just cleared up. She let him fondle of the strange man, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. She didn't want to get to know him, not even look at him properly. She just wanted to let him fuck her quickly and stress-free. These cool it was, the inspired me to Sandra from the beginning. This detachment had m fascinated I always. And this relaxation had ensured that I finally had fun in clubs. Sandra had reached the point where she just wanted to quench her sexual desire without thinking about whether it was socially correct or worrying about what others thought about it. That's where I wanted to take her and that's where she had arrived. She didn't care about the man, she just wanted his cock. And then she took that too.
I moved further to the side. I was now a good step away from Sandra and did the same to his wife. I wanted to see the show. It was clearly seen although still very dark in the hallway, but I could but already, what the two were doing before my eyes. T
Find my book series "My life as a swinger, wifesharer and cuckold" now on Amazon.

I moved further to the side. I was now a good step away from Sandra and did the same to his wife. I wanted to see the show. It was clearly seen although still very dark in the hallway, but I could but already, what the two were doing before my eyes. They had now completely pounced on each other. They kissed for a long time and he explored Sandra's body with his hands. He touched her chest, stroked her stomach, pressed his body firmly on her hips.
I had already opened the way to her pussy for him, her thong was already on the floor. And when Sandra was very close to him off, his fingers began her cunt to explore. Sandra had long since let go of everything. She closed her eyes and opened her legs. The stranger penetrated her with two fingers and worked on her. The two kissed again and again, their lips pressed together, their bodies touched and Sandra let him finger her properly. Sweat ran from their bodies. People pushed past us, but the two were not deterred.
His partner was still a bit out of the way on the other side. I could hardly see it. Every now and then a little light shone on her and I saw that she continued to stroke his back. She summed up not going on, she had not touched him intimately, they simply just watched and worked while mellow and relaxed. Apparently, she actually enjoyed watching it as much as I did.
My girlfriend could be further from the stranger´s fingers and touch. She stood in front of other people and let herself be groped while I stood by, like a stranger, uninvolved.
Of course, this was the reason, was why such down to the party. But now I was getting more and more tense inside. I started to shiver and sweat ran down my forehead. It was not so much the heat in the narrow corridor as the restlessness that spread through me.
Had I pushed Sandra too far? Were we on our way to meet a cucki couple again? Was Sandra obsessed with this **** called foreign sex?
I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. From absolute anger and sadness to exuberant lust and lust. That whole range of cuckold feelings was there again. Pride, disappointment, passion, sadness, anger, lust.
Sandra had meanwhile started to blow his cock. It was hard and slid in and out of her mouth. The seconds seemed like hours to me. Should I cancel it? Should I jerk off while doing this? How could this be wrong when it felt so right?
My heart beat faster and faster, my cock pulsed. I could have cum straight away on the spot. This bitch had simply taken the cock of this strange man in the mouth and his girlfriend and I watched it calmly. It was cheeky, but awesome. It was messed up, but right. It was painful, but so beneficial.
Suddenly Sandra pulled me to her. While she continued to blow the stranger's tail in front of her, she now jerked my thong. Just as my worries began to simmer inside, she had consciously included me in the game. It was good that I was once again, as Sandra was ticking. She was enjoying foreign sex once more, but she had also recognized that we should only do this as a couple. It was important to her that I was there and so she brought me back into the game. I found that to be a great token of love.
Sandra switched back and forth between the two stands in front of her. Sometimes she jerked mine and sometimes she blew the strange piston. Time passed bye in the corridor. And while I was standing there looking down at her, a sudden wish occurred to me. I wanted to see her being fucked from this unknown guy. I wanted her to let off steam, for us to make her a bitch at this party. There was no room for sentimentality, no room for sadness, anger, or worry. Sandra loved me, I knew that. And today she should have as much fun as she wanted. And I wanted to have my fun, to observe them as a bitch. So, I pulled away from her without further ado and whispered in her ear:

"Be right back. I'll get us condoms. "
I was excited and disappeared out of the narrow corridor. I had to squeeze through by some to loving couples, until I arrived in the hall. It took a few seconds, until I could see clearly again in brightness. I orientated myself and ran downstairs. There were still countless couples sitting in the foyer and I quickly realized that there were of course no condoms here. They were all at the playgrounds. So, I hurried up again, headed for the first available playground and again shuffled past people who were already in the middle of the act.
"Sorry.... Sorry... I have to... ahem, thank you... "
I quickly grabbed two condoms and made my way back to the dark corridor where I had left Sandra alone. At that moment it occurred to me that I could have easily fetched rubber from the playground in front of us. Of course, that hadn't occurred to me in the heat of the moment.
Anyway, now I was back and proudly held my condoms in my hand. I squeezed in countless men and women back pass, until I reached the end of the corridor where I had last seen Sandra.
I was startled briefly, because first I thought, she was gone. I couldn't see her right away in the dark. But then I realized that she had only completely undressed and that she was hiding behind the strange man. I wanted to pass her the condom secretly, when I noticed a second aspect: Sandra was already about to get fucked. I couldn't tell whether safe or not safe, but one thing was clear: the stranger had turned Sandra and was now in the process of fucking her.
The bitch had not waited times, until I come back. We had agreed on the way to the club in the car that they should have fun and they should take, what she wanted. The evening was mostly intended for her and the little bitch now followed it consistently. She wasn't worried. She simply liked to meet this guy and that was now the logical result. She stood in front of him with her legs apart and let herself be fucked.
His partner was still standing apart, she was watching the show. And from then on, I did the same to her. I stood against the wall, massaged my prick through my pants and watched Sandra and the strange man fuck.
Sandra was fucked hard. There was a lot of clapping. I clearly heard their sounds. She moaned and screamed. Her body pressed against the wall in front of her, her bottom stuck out backwards. Sandra recognized me immediately and began to jerk my cock again while she continued to receive thrusts from the stranger from behind. He pounded into her, her boobs dangling. I had the bar massaged. Sandra groaned louder and louder. You could tell when she was really going and that was definitely the case at that moment. Her breathing got faster and faster, her hands on my penis pressed harder and harder. I could tell by their reactions, Sandra was just, to come hard. She twitched and let go of my cock for a moment. She had to support herself against the wall, her knees wobbled. She screamed again and then grabbed my member again courageously.
The stranger rammed her a few more minutes. Sandra's climax subsided a bit and came back a little later with the same intension. Then her lover squirted and pulled out of her. Now I realized that he had used a rubber. Apparently, unlike me, he had thought that some were hanging on the mat in front of us.
Sandra had just experienced her first foreign fuck of the evening. We had officially arrived at the men's surplus party. After the experience with the couple, we went downstairs to the bar without a word and relaxed from the experience. We spoke only briefly about Sandra wanted to know, of course, where I had disappeared to for so long and I wanted to know, of course, as befits she must have felt. All in all, we both loved the experience and decided to continue the evening like that. Sandra should fuck, should live out her nymphomaniac side and I wanted to support her and watch her.
For lap two we went back up a little later. Sandra was excited by the numerous handsome men on site. The organizers had done a really good job and almost without exception invited great men. Sandra wanted to take advantage of that and be able to climb again.
When we reached the top floor, we have also been approached by a man. He was Italian, very short but extremely polite. He was extremely muscular, really well trained. He told us that he had seen all evening after Sandra had and finally got the courage took us to respond. Sandra didn't seem completely enthusiastic about him, but we still said yes. So, the three of us wanted to go to the very large playground that was to the left of the stairs. There were only a few steps there and I was going to. When I got to the mat and made myself comfortable in the back corner, I noticed that there were four of us. Another man followed us. He was a type of forest worker: tall, stocky, thick beard. I looked at Sandra in amazement and she smiled at me. She later told me that she had noticed him on the short walk to the mat and that she spontaneously grabbed his hand. They had thus summarily decided, to let still play another man. At the latest then I realized that Sandra was meanwhile unscrupulous and hardy. She had internalized the requirement to let off steam completely. And even if their choice is not the man fell, I would have chosen, so I found their approach but very exciting and cool.
As expected, the four of us had sex on the mat itself. Sandra gave us all a hard blow, we licked her and undressed her and, in the end, she was fucked by the three of us. Sandra was very busy with our three tails. Unlike in Berlin, there was no failure this time. It was a hustle and bustle, as one would like an mmmf to be. She got really worried from the three of us. And it happened to her several times.
The evening had now reached an advanced hour. It was already after 2 o'clock. The time had just flown by and we had an all-round good evening. Great location, exciting encounters, interesting conversations and excellent sex. After all, Sandra had been banged by four guys. We were satisfied with the yield. All in all, the visit at LeCoq brought way more than expected. And now the question stood in the room, whether we go home or even start a third attempt. Sandra and I weren't at all tired and she didn't seem completely satisfied either. After three foreign tails and my thong, the little bitch was apparently still in the mood for another experience. I was impressed and wanted to give her more. So, an idea came to me. I stopped and said to her:
"You are going upstairs alone now. You look for a man, whom ever you want and do with it, whatever you want. OK?"
Sandra was neither surprised nor averse. Absolutely determined, she said yes and actually went up the stairs alone. I was a little perplexed because I had underestimated her. I stopped briefly below and waited for her to return. But Sandra didn't come. It took three or four minutes and I was sure, they would come back the same alone. But I stayed lonely on the stairs. So, I decided to go after her and see if it was all right. I ran up the steps and stood in front of the first playground. I looked left and right, but nowhere did I see Sandra. I would have to go looking for her. But as I was about to start marching, she came running past me. In her hand she was holding a young man in his early thirties, tall, blond and slim. Sandra smiled at me and walked past me without greeting me, as if we didn't even know each other. Her company didn't even notice me.
I stood perplexed in the hallway. What now?
I really didn't expect that. That she has the guts to speak to someone that she would find what she was looking for so quickly. God knows I hadn't expected all of that from my friend at her first HVAC party. But Sandra surprised me once more.
I stood around for a moment. As if offended, I didn't know what to do with myself. Should I follow her? Should I string them? Or should I just have a ***** at the bar and wait? As if ordered and not picked up, I was lost in the far hall. Men and women ran past me, left and right, down the stairs. And I got in the way and was just surprised. I decided to run after Sandra, to watch her secretly. If cuckold, then really cuckold. Then I want to see her fucking foreigners too. I went down the aisle where Sandra and her lover had disappeared. Pretty soon I found her and her blonde appendage on a mat below the small staircase. They were already in full swing. Sandra was naked again and busy, to suck the strange tail. Her chosen one was lying on her back, his spear pointing straight up. He made little noise, while Sandra is assumed his best piece. She couldn't see me, she was sitting with her back to me between his legs. And of course, he didn't recognize me, because he didn't know anything about my existence. So, the two of them weren't even bothered by my presence. I stood in front of them, not even two meters away, and watched them both. I was very horny and slowly began to massage my cock. But even in a swinger's club, it was kind of weird to masturbate in front of another couple. I didn't want to scare anyone off or be considered a madman. So, I tried to touch myself as covered as possible. But in any case, I couldn't quite keep my hands off me. What Sandra and her lover did in front of my eyes was just too cool. She blew him and jerked him off. I knew very well the joy that gave a man. His penis was big and thin. Sandra pushed her hand up and down. It literally slid along his pipe. She was passionate, in what they did and he leaned doing sit back. Then they changed positions. He pulled Sandra to him and immediately she slipped up on his body. She opened her crack and he entered her very carefully. Sandra rode on him now. She leaned down to him and their mouths met. Sandra opened her lips and I saw, as her tongue moved slowly into his mouth. They began to exchange passionate French kisses. His penis was already lingering in her. Sandra moved slowly up and down. I saw his pipe sliding wet out of her and back in again. The two looked great as they made love in front of my eyes. It was passionate and soulful, atypical for sex in a swinger's club. Sandra got faster in her pelvic movements. She rode the stranger a little faster, but still calmly and with great feeling. Their lips were still in contact. I saw their tongues touch, they danced in the other's mouth. The blonde took both of his hands and touched Sandra's breasts. He caressed her tits, played with two fingers on her n nipples. Sandra groaned slightly and increased her pace again. Suddenly a couple approached from the side. They had been busy with each other the whole time and he had looked over and over at Sandra and the stranger. They were also completely undressed and had played together for a long time. The pair was as passionate and impulsive while as Sandra and her lover. They were attractive too. And now they obviously wanted to get closer to Sandra and her partner. They couldn't have known that this wasn't Sandra's boyfriend. From the outside it looked indeed like this, as if Sandra with her boyfriend in action. And it didn't matter, at least for the couple. The four of them wanted to have fun and were getting closer and closer. Sandra and her entourage were but focused only on themselves. Like two lovers, they obviously wanted nothing to do with the outside world. They were in their own world. Sandra was getting faster and faster, she began to moan. Her blonde teammate had now also started to massage her more vigorously. He had her tits firmly in his hand and let Sandra circle on him.
For me the sight of the two was both a blessing and a curse. I do not know, what it was. Was I tired and irritable easily? Was it the fact that I wasn't expecting it? Was it too spontaneous? Or did it bother me that he and the couple didn't even know that I was the actual partner of this beautiful woman?
Something was causing real pain in me at that moment. Yeah, I was still horny. And yes, I still secretly jerked my cock. But cuckolds feel pain and draw pleasure from it. It was the same as usual, just that the feeling of pain at this moment slowly the upper hand won. I saw Sandra lying there and wanted to cry. I thought back to all that, what I had experienced with Nina last. The sudden breakup, how the breakup came about and that our sexual openness was not innocent of it. I suddenly had enormous fear of loss. Sandra meant the world to me, and to see her in the arms of this stranger, was at that moment too much for me. Did I do it all wrong here? Did I go too far?
I felt terribly lonely. It was a pitch-black moment. For the first time in almost twenty years when I had the first threesome of my life I cried, I felt really negative again. The pleasure that the two gave me the sight, was now completely covered by dark emotions: fear, sadness, anger, disappointment, loneliness, depression, pain and despair.
I wanted to end all of this. I wanted to pull Sandra to me, break everything off and tell her that I love her. Tell her that I couldn't see or endure any of this. My feelings were going crazy. I was as lonely and alone again as after the bitter separation from Nina. I was in a hole and just wanted to get away.
Of course, I didn't stop the hustle and bustle between Sandra and the guy. I didn't want to give this nakedness to anyone. But I decided to leave the room. Looking for distraction, I went to the bar. I had a Coke and thought of other things. I tried to push, what I had seen and tried to forget, what just took place another floor above me. I just wanted to fade out and not do anything wrong. Today I know that this was exactly the right thing to do. You shouldn't handcuff your new partner. After all, it wasn't Sandra who disappointed me so bitterly. Sandra deserved that I should give her the same chance that all other friends before her had gotten. She hadn't betrayed and hurt me. She was always honest and loyal. And today I am very happy that I kept a cool head in this situation. It hurt powerful, the pain was so great, how long not before. Everything came up inside of me. All the negative feelings with Nina were suddenly again since. But I didn't blame Sandra for it and at that moment I faced my fears. I only spoke to Sandra after the party about what was going on in me at that moment.
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"Saturday night was so incredibly emotional for me in so many ways. I really enjoy these parties with you. We talk a lot, eat together and enjoy a few ******. You are very frivolous and of course we also have really good sex. All Sunday I couldn't think of anything other than the party and yesterday when I fell asleep I had to think about it all the time. All these experiences, impressions and emotions. It is so crazy what we are experiencing and I am very, very proud that we are experiencing it together. And I can't get enough of you and all of your experiences. But there was also an experience on Saturday evening that put everything else in the shade and I try to explain my feelings to you. I wanted to see how you act alone with a man, whether you can pull this off, how you do it and how it feels. I really wanted it and the thought of it made me so horny. But when I saw you holding hands with the man, there were so many feelings about me. I was shaking and I could have cried right away. I suddenly felt alone and abandoned. I had huge problems dealing with it. So much came up again. The fear of allowing too much again and then being disappointed, simply the fear of losing you through our way of life. When I watched you have sex, it was a colorful mixture of absolute horniness and this cuckold fantasy. But at the same time, it was also fear and sadness. I had to go and couldn't see it. It hurt. But then I was gone and really wanted to go back.
I have never experienced such feelings before. It was extreme. I hadn't felt jealousy and fear for 10 years or more. Just that we understand each other. You've done everything right. That's exactly how I wanted the evening to go, that's how it should go. I am proud of you and your way. I have never seen someone like you, with what naturalness and lust you approach the whole thing. This is madness. But after all that has happened I need more time than I thought. After all that, I asked myself whether I could ever live such a lifestyle again. After all, the reason for the separation in the end was a man whom I allowed Nina to do before. Would we still be together if we weren't swingers? Do I have to answer for the separation after all? Am I risking my luck again now? Am I jeopardizing our relationship? I was unsure how to deal with the issue after all of this. But it's my approach to life and it suits both of us. And I trust you. So, I don't want to forego anything. And changing this way of life would mean changing me, I don't want to either. But I have to see that I get my fears and this way of life reconciled. That's why I just felt more comfortable when the date doesn't take place on Wednesday. What helps me to reduce my fear is two things: On the one hand it takes time and positive experiences, on the other hand you just need to be hugged more often, often being told that you love me and just show me that we belong together.
Not that you don't already do this all the time. You are loving and just wonderful. But after such experiences like Saturday I just need more often. I hope you understand what I want to tell you. I don't want to change anything, on the contrary. These experiences in the swinger's club give me and us so much. I see how we both enjoy being absorbed in it. I see that you share my way of thinking and love this way of life as much as I do. This is a dream! And I don't want to change anything in our lives. I just don't want to get hurt like that again. And now I'm at a point where I love you so much that it would fucking hurt if you weren't there anymore. And in that context: You said you would have had no problem if I had met someone to have sex. I think that's great, a dream of every man and fully corresponds to my approach to life. Incredible and makes me happy. But you're a branded kid too, are you sure you could? It should never be about doing something just because you have the option yourself. It's not about "How can I forbid Mark to do it when I am allowed to do everything myself?" Please do not do anything that you are not comfortable with yourself.
"Hey sweetheart I don't even know what to say now. I've read your message at least 20 times now. The first time I cried a lot. And actually, I still do. I am so sorry that you felt so bad that evening. If I had known, I would of course have stopped immediately and come to you. You know that."

In the days that followed, Sandra and I talked a lot about this experience. It helped me reveal myself. I thought a lot about what triggered the feelings? What did I feel? What had bothered me in the situation? I also wondered whether the path we had taken with all the sexual openness was really the right one for me. Could I ever trust Sandra as much as it took to live so openly? Had Nina destroyed all trust in me? And was this polysexual way of life really still the right way to go? Don't get it wrong. I was a couple with Sandra for about four months. And so far I have had no concerns or fears when she experienced something. It didn't matter at all whether I was there for the respective experience or whether she went around the houses alone. So far I had always enjoyed experiencing these things with her. The pain that I always felt was the usual cuckold pain, which I converted into pleasure and on which I got excited. But that pain in the LeCoq was so powerful. It was so different. It knocked me off course. It did something to me and was the basis of a lot of thought on my part in the days and weeks that followed. Sandra held on to me. She did everything to show me her infinite love. She blamed herself for not reacting herself at the LeCoq. But she couldn't see my pain. It wasn't her fault that I felt so dirty. And yet it was an unpleasant feeling for her to know that I was suffering so much. She assured me that we could live monogamous at any time. She said she loved what we did, but it was just a hobby, a gimmick. The two of us came first at all times and we wouldn't do anything to hurt either of us.

I thought a lot during that time. But after a few days I realized. This gimmick, this open way of life was far more than a hobby for me. It had long since become my way of life. I didn't choose her out of joke and fooling around, but out of deep conviction. And I definitely didn't want my ex to destroy this point of view.
If you have a car accident, you should get in the car.
If you have fear of flying, you should fly.
And if one was cheated and abandoned, you should ask the situation, to confront the fears and worries.
And that's exactly what I did. I went deep into me, to find out what had caused these fears and when they occurred. I dealt with my concerns and tried to make clear, as I k fight ö might. It was a long process because obviously I hadn't fully come to terms with my past. But I was willing to deal with it and fight for my convictions.
In the next few months with Sandra there was another very similar moment in which I felt as dirty again as at the end of the HÜ party in the LeCoq. I was devastated again, fear seized me again. I was controlled, crazy, deeply depressed. But I recognized the situation and tried to approach things very rationally. I realized again that Sandra and I were a couple, that we loved each other, that she would not take advantage of my trust, that we were planning a life together and that the situation was completely harmless. Lo and behold, it worked. And since then I had never seen anything like it.
today feel I am again completely free. I know that I can rely on Sandra. And together we continue to live our philosophy.
Despite my depression, the evening at the LeCoq was a complete success towards the end. We had seen a lot. Sandra had sex with five different men, about as many n as in her entire life before me. She had given no empty words, as she said before the party that she wanted to let off steam. She hadn't hidden, she had lived out. And maybe this moment of sadness, anger and disappointment was a special one for the relationship between Sandra and me. He made us move even closer together. He made clear to me, what deep meaning it had already achieved in my life. And I learned in a painful way that we still had to work on ourselves.
This special evening at the LeCoq was followed by another HV party just a few weeks later at Feuer & Eis. We had an appointment there again with Jeanette and Enrico, who enjoyed the surplus of men as much as we did. The party in the fire & ice went completely without any special incidents. Sandra and I were professionals by now. We knew, as such evenings expired were relaxed throughout the evening and sovereign. Sandra had sex with four men. She was insatiable and always in a good mood. She enjoyed being in the center and drifting. She loved being cared for by different hands, mouths and tails. She had long since been ripped off without dulling her.
And I had no concerns or worries for the whole evening. I had overcome my low. It was thanks to Sandra that I was back on track. She had the whole evening for me regularly seen. We didn't separate once, we did everything together. And even during sex with various strange men, she always had an eye for me. My feelings were important to her and above all else. That made me feel safe and made sure that negative feelings should no longer arise.

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Yours Mark
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