Our Lifestyle

For a few years now, my husband and I have been passive observers on this site. A few months back, I signed up for the chat, naively wanting to find mature individuals to chat with and share ideas with. I have found a few, but most of my chat sessions are filled with requests for phone sex, the chat room filled with boring pictures, and/or rude individuals.

So I have decided to write here. Partly to satisfy the exhibitionist part of my permisterality (sharing intimate details of sexuality, even when hidden behind a log in name, can be stimulating none the less), and partly in hopes to find real, mature individuals, not just horny men wanting to cheat on their wives.

Warning to those only interested in a quick thrill. This won't be a 200 word get your rocks off story. I firmly believe the biggest sex organ is the brain, and my desires here are not to find lust, but rather mature, intelligent, online discussion. Plus, as you will find, while we live the cuck lifestyle, we should not be mistaken for simple hedonistic people. So our story that follows (100% true) will be a deeper insight into the life of a cuckold couple.

As a bit of preface, we are probably your average couple next door. Our cuckold lifestyle is and adult one hiddent behind closed doors. My husband and I are professionals in our community, parents of three wonderful youngren. I am not Barbie. I am 5'7 135 pounds. I don't have fake boobs, but have been described as the MILF next door and although I don't see any resemblance I have been told the celebrity I most resemble is Meg Ryan. My husband is not your typical "cuck" type on the outside. He went to college on a football scholarship. He is 40, about 6'2, and still maintains a very athletic build.

Looking back, I would have to say that our cuckold lifestyle all started years ago with simple thoughts of group sex and has been evolving ever since. My husband and I both had fantasies of either watching or participating in orgys and group sex. For the first 3 years of our marriage, this was all just fantasy though.

That all changed on in a serindipitous moment on a Carribbean Cruise. The cruise had a topless deck and over the week it was pretty much the same people up there. During that time we befriended another younger couple and ended up getting moved to their dinner table. During the week we attended the shows together, played card games, danced, and generally had a good time with them. The atmosphere was flirty, but I would be lying if I stated that either my husband or I overtly were wanting anything more than a friendship. The last night was a formal night meaning the men wore suits and the women wore dresses. Nice for dinner, but if you want to dance afterwards, not the right attire. After dinner our new friends and us decided to go back to our rooms and change. My husband wanted to dispute a charge on our room, so told us to go ahead while he got it fixed. Sarah (the other woman) asked me to come back to their room first to help her pick out the right outfit. We gave my husband the room number and headed to their cabin.

At the cabin, Thomas (the other man) grabbed some clothes and went into the restroom to change. Sarah grabbed a few outfits and we debated which would be best. We finally settled on a mini shirt and matching sleeveless sweater. With just me in the room she started to change. There was a knock on the door and by that time Thomas had changed and opened it- even as I was saying "wait, she's not dressed". He opened it and my husband Mark was there. Without a second thought Thomas invited him in. His eyes almost popped when he saw Sarah there dressed only in black panties as she changed. Embarrassed he backed up, but Sarah made some comment about the fact that he had already seen her topless at the pool deck. Sarah was not in a hurry to get dressed. Topless she headed to the bathoom to do her hair. Realizing her comfort level and noting a very "adult" aura in the room Mark and I looked at each other and it was at this point we both realized that we were subtly being propositioned.

Nothing more was made of it at that point, but later at the dance club, Mark and I discussed what happened and what we would do if propositioned. We decided we would not lead anything, but if we were propositioned for a swing party, we would accept. A bit later Sarah and I headed to the girls room. It was then she stated "We would like you to come back to our room after dancing". Still not 100% sure of the intent, I dove in and asked her if she meant as friends or for adult fun. Adult fun was her answer. I told her Mark and I were intrigued, had fantasies of something, but this would be our virgin voyage. She laughed and said they would respect our limits.

We headed back to the room, and they definately took the lead. The two started making out and her sweater was off before Mark and I put our eyes back in our heads. But we followed the lead. It started out with both couples with their own partner, but it was not long until we switched. By the end of the night I had made love with two men and been kissed and had my breasts fondled by my first woman. Later I would discover a true bi side, but thats not a cuckoldplace story (lol).

We never saw that couple again, although we kept in contact for about a year. But what happeded on the cruise that night laid the foundation for our sexual future.

I'm sure this will be a great story, please continue

Over the next few years of our marriage we experimented with some swinging. Visited some clubs, met a few couples, etc. As we grew in our new sexual freedoms we always spoke about our thoughts and feelings. A few things were clear. First, whoever said size does not matter is wrong! Unlike many cucks or wannabe cucks, Mark is not exceedingly small. In fact I would say he is average in both lenght and girth. I discovered it was possible to have vaginal orgasms provided there was enough friction from a girthy penis. Second, the number one turn on for both of us was me being with another man. Mark admitted that watching me with another man turned him on much more than actually being with another woman. Third, in this day and age of STD's we felt a need to be responsible.

Using those three discoveries, we had several discussions about how to proceed. During that time, our swing sessions basically came to a stop for a few years. Simply put we were no longer willing to take the risks of STD's (we had both been tested negative for everything during the process but realized it was russion roulette).

Somewhere during that time we came across the term "cuckold" and became intrigued with the idea. After all, the biggest turn on for both of us was me having sex with other men. Like the idea of swinging, however, the cuckold world existed only in fantasy land for us.

Things changed about 6 years ago. We had made friends with another couple in our neighborhood, David and Tina. They had youngren our kids age and we had many similar interests. We had been friends with them for about 2 years when, tragically, Tina died when struck by a car when crossing the street while jogging one evening. In the year that followed, we did our best to include David and his kids in our lives, we recognized it was a tough time for them. During that time our friendship grew.

About a year after Tina's death, David still had not dated. One night we had him and his kids over for dinner. The kids were in the pool when Mark asked if he had ever thought about dating again. David stated he was not ready for a relationship but joked "I sure do need to get laid". Almost as soon as the door shut as he left our house that evening Mark and I had one of those "Are you thinking what I am thinking?" conversations. Right now, all you readers know EXACTLY what we were thinking.

In many ways it provided the perfect situation. First, since there was only a man, it would cater to our main fantasy which was me with another man. Second, he was a single man, not dating, and probably STD free.

Mark and I then spent many a night talking about what it all meant. Should we approach him? If we did, would it be just for a normal sexual liamister, or do we want to explore the cuckold lifestyle? What if we approached him and he was repulsed- how would we ever look our friend in the eye again? We concluded that if we ever approached him, it would be for the whole enchilada, to explore the cuckold thing a bit- not knowing where it may lead, if anywhere. But still, we were scared to death about approaching him.

A few months later we were presented with the opportunity. He was moving about 15 minutes away to some horse property. Mark and I decided that it was now or never to approach him. If David was offended, while we might loose a friend, we at least would no longer have to face him at the bus stop, school, little league, etc. as he would be in a different area.

One night we invited him over and dove in. We told him about our past history of some swinging, and then dove in to our real intentions. We told him what we would want to explore with him. We left that evening with him very interested in the idea of having sex with me, but very unsure about what we meant to be part of a cuckold relationship. Truth be told, Mark and I were not sure ourselves. A few more discussions took place and we bagan to establish some basic outlines of what we were after. David, Mark, and I basically outlined what we called "rules of engagement". It is a joking term, but we wanted to be adult about our adult relationship which for us meant we had some non-negotiables. Here were our original guidelines:

a) We would all remain monagamous with each other. We all would get tested for various STD's and provide proof. If/When David decided to venture back into the love/dating world we all agreed to stop our arrangement. David had been fixed, so pregnancy was not a possibility, otherwise we would have insisted on some form of birth control.

b) Limits would be respected. We were all a bit sure exactly what limits were, but agreed that no meant no. Up front David made sure we knew he was not bi and would not allow anything like that to occur. Mark is not bi either (although I believe he would dabble in some things as part of the cuck lifestyle if presented with the opportunity).

c) Our lifestyle would remain behind closed doors. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom (so to speak)-lol. We agreed that no video or photos would be taken by anyone. We all know about those leaked videos. Bottom line is we are all professionals, parents, etc and recognized the need for discretion.

d) Not only would limits be respected, but we agreed that if we shared ideas, fantasies, fetishes that were not enoyed by all that we would not judge the others.

With that, our cuck life began. How is that for a tease for future letters.

Great story, great tease. My wife just took on a lover to cuck me, and we are waiting with great anticipation to hear more details on your lifestyle. Are you taking David as your exclusive lover? Will you let Mark come at all? Mine has me in a chastity device for weeks on end, just to raise the level of my attention to her. Please tell us more!

Nicely done. This is well written and very intriguing. I am looking forward to reading more.

GH

So we had some basic ground rules in place, but really other than the fact that we knew David and I would be having sex, we did not enter into the cuck lifestyle with any set road to travel. Of course, I did have ideas , but had no idea where they would lead, if anywhere. I knew what it was not going to be about.

It was not going to be about bi-play between the men. David made that clear. Honestly the thought of my husband giving oral to another man does nothing for me anyway. Not a turn on or off.

It was not going to be about bondage and discipline. Pain is not for me. And quite frankly when I see videos of people in rubber or leather my first thought is not "wow, that makes me wet", it's more like "my God they must sweat like pig in that".

It was not going to be something we played with outside the confines of an adult arena. This was a sexual choice, not a 24/7 lifestyle.

This was not about me wanting to have an affair, or feeling my husband was an inadquate man. Quite the opposite, in fact. My husband is an athletic, self confident man, and to this date I maintain a loving relationship with my husband, who is my soul mate.

Going into things, it was not about Lisa (that's me), having an insatiable need for a big cock. As I stated previously, I found out the complete pleasures a large cock can provide, but so can a large dildo and some batteries! Plus, we did not choose David because he was well hung, in fact, we had no idea.

Quite simply, this was going to be about sex, and seeing where our road takes us. Being somewhat the rebel, this was going to be about pushing limits. I said we would respect limits, but you can respect limits and test them at the same time. I knew humiliaton would play some role, but emotionally I was confliced on this. How (or why) do you humiliate someone you love, trust, and call your soul mate? I educated myself on the possibilities of the cuck lifestyle enough to be familiar with all the possibilities, but unsure of many. What would be my limits and turn ons? What about David and Mark? Would this last a month, a year, longer? Ok, and yes, how big was David's cock?

From reading what I have wrote so far, you can tell I analyze everything and am not prone to spontaneous actions. In fact, I have been told I have to plan to be spontaneous. But don't mistake lack of spontaneity for lack of adventure, lack of confidence, and lack of ability to take control. In fact, once I know the rules of the situation I often take charge and never look back.

Such was the case with my new found sexual freedoms. I thought long and hard (no pun intended) about how we would proceed with the first liamister. Would Mark watch? Would he watch and participate? Would it be a date or just a fuck?

So yes, I planned the first encounter. I still remember it vividly, more vividly than the first time I lost my virginity-lol. I chose a Thursday night. Thursday was good because Mark was at a board meeting and I knew David was free for a few hours with youngren at their activities. I had arranged with a neighbor to watch our youngren. I called David up and made up a story to get him to come by the house. This was only a few days after we agreed to enter the arangement. But I had lied to get David here, I did not need his signature on a form for school, but I needed his cock.

I answered my door in what I think was my sexiest pair of panties and a matching bra. I know David said something, but I don't know what. I pulled him into my house, closed the door, dropped to my knees, and unbuckled his pants. On the outside I was a sex starved slut. On the inside I was nervous as hell.

I undid his pants and was more than pleasantly surprised when I discovered David was more like Goliath! Ok, thats an overstatement, but he was certainly well endowed. He is not the longest cock I have ever seen, but I have rarely seen any as girthy, and certainly had never been with someone so wide. Using my thumb and middle finger to make a circle around his erect penis, I can not touch the two together.

We never made it to the bedroom. I ended up on all fours on the floor. I could lie and say I came, but I did not. That did not mean it did not feel good, it was AMAZING. It left me longing for more. David, on the other hand, came hard. After he came, we fell onto the floor and the emotions of the moment overcame me and I started laughing.

He left as quickly as he came (pun intended). My bra was still on, and as were my thong which had simply been pushed to the side during sex. I had planned to simply tell Mark of my excapades when he got home, then have round two for him. His first experience as a cuckold would be to have sloppy seconds. But, standing there in just my cum soaked lingerie, I had another idea.

Mark came home to find me still wearing just my bra and panties. Poor soul, he was under the assumption that we were going to make love. Rather I went bitchy on him. I told him that an hour earlier David came over to find me in the same outfit, and he fucked me hard. I pulled my panties to the side and showed him the cum stain for proof. Then I told him that he would not be so lucky because I had to go get the kids. I walked away, dressed and left without a further word.

We have been living the cuckold lifestyle for 5 years, give or take now. And I could use up all the web sites band width describing in detail many of the encounters we have had. But I have decided to go a different route. I am going to publicly respond to some of the more frequent or intriguing questions I have b. een asked (or asked others and simply want to answer them myself). If you are reading this and peak my interest with a question, please don' be afriad to ask. Or if you have other ideas to share, lets share.

a) Does he clean you up? Absolutely. We don't participate in bi play in terms of male to male touching, but male to sperm contact is completely different-lol. Mark had tasted his own sperm a few times before we entered the lifestyle, but had never had a full "cream pie". But that has all changed now. And yes, he does clean up after David.

b) Do you still have sex with Mark? For the first few years of our lifestyle the answer was yes. But it has progressed to the point that I have not had intercourse with Mark in almost 2 years now. This was certainly not an aspect of the cuck lifestyle that I would have ever dreamt would be for us (me). Although probably more sexually liberated that most women, I still am a woman. Meaning in my brain I had to resolve the conflicts I had that sex and love were supposed to be one in the same. The truth is I don't love David. The truth is Mark is the best husband I could have ever hoped for. The truth is Davids cock can give me orgasms, and Mark's can not. I will give Mark hand jobs, but not oral or intercourse.

I have debated about how long this will continue. I don't long for the intimate relations with Mark- I get that from everything else a husband can do for a wife that does not include sticking his penis inside her. The reamister would be that I have an intense fantasy to be double penetrated. I need Mark for that (I won't take on another lover for reamisters outlined in posts above). We have done David in the vagina, toy in the ass, but I may soon sucumb to fantasies of two real cocks inside me. I am afraid I will be sadly dissapointed (I suspect it looks and feels better in porn than reality), which is the only reamister I have not done it yet.

One thing I have thought about is making Mark wear a strap on. I think if he wore underwear to keep his penis from getting in the way, he could put a strap on around his waist and give it a go. But still, this is a toy and not a real penis.

c) Does Mark watch? It depends. Sometimes he does, sometimes not. There is no set rule for this. Whatever David and I decide goes. So it just depends on the mood. If watching he sometimes participates. Participating might include things from him masturbating, to me giving him a hand job as I get fucked, to a few times licking my clit as I am fucked.

If he is not there to watch, sometimes he finds out details, sometimes not. Again, it depends on the mood. It mostly depends on what I think will tease him most in the moment.

d) How do you humiliate him? I am still not comfortable with the term offense. That implies evil intent or bad feelings to me. But for sake of conversation, I will use the term here, with the understanding that it is not done with the intent to make Mark feel like a worthless human, but simply part of the loving sexual role play we engage in.

Some of the "offense" is subtle. I mean, not fucking your wife for two years must drive one wild, right? Especially as someone else does on a regular basis. And I never came once with Mark vaginally only (battery operation was needed-lol), but David makes me cum vaginally on a regular basis- sometimes multiple times.

And, it certainly must be "humiliating" in some form to eat another man's sperm even as he watches you.

We have also introduced panties to Mark recently. It started as my thing without David's knowledge. It started when I told Mark the only way I would even continue to give him hand jobs is if he wore panties as I did. For a long time his panty wearing was confined simply to private times with me when I was going to give him a hand job. It has progressed to the point that I threw out all Mark's underwear, and bought him panties. Panties are all he wears now for underwear, and when he is with David and I in a sexual mode, he must wear panties (after all, I don't want that cock staring me in the face while I deal with a real man-lol).

e) Do you lock him? No. Not even intriguing at all. Mark is free to masturbate on his own as much as he wants. When with us, sometimes we let him get relief, others not.

f) Do you use a strap on with Mark? Yes. But this started before the cuckold lifestyle evolved. I believe most men secretely enjoy some form of anal stimulation. They don't talk about it for fear of homosexual labels, but privately I think most men like anal play of some form or another. But when the cuckold lifestyle started, this did change a bit. It had never occurred to me to make him suck it like a cock. Now he does. Also, prior to the cuckold lifestyle any time I used a toy in his ass, it always was accompanied by some form of penile stimulation for him (blow job, hand job, vaginal sex with me, etc). Now, from time to time, I just fuck him like the slut he is. Ill slide the panties to the side, stick my "cock" in, and go for a ride. I will be 100% honest and say that no, this does not physically get me off. But is a complete mental thrill ride for both of us.

g) What don't you like about the cuck lifestyle? Well, if we don't like it, we don't do it. So thats hard to say. I will say that for me it is not a racial thing. This site is ripe with interracial cuck fantasies. Honestly, to me color matters not. A big cock and the right attitude (ie David) are what it is about. I hate the term "bull". I despise it. Not sure why. Maybe its that a "bull" is an natural. Maybe it is because it is simply too dehumanizing for my taste. But I hate it. David is my lover or boyfriend.

While this does not fit under the "what don't you like" category, it is something that I wonder about and a pet peeve. Why is it so many men here have huge fantasies of it but are afraid to share with your wife? Your spouse should be one permister you are safe to share things with, right? If you can't share dreams (sexual or other) with your spouse the problem is not merely a sexual divide between husband and wife. I say share your fantasies. If the love relationship exists, the worst she can do is say "no", right?

Ok, so thats my story. If you have questions, comments, suggestions, or simply want to chat privately on the subject, I am open. As you can tell, I am not one who will appreciate sophomoric requests for my naked pictures or begging to meet. So if you do respond, I ask you do it as a mature interesting individual

It's a rare pleasure to read your story, so eloquently told.

I and my ex explored many of the edges as you have, alas without the analytical and intelligent approach you've taken...

We didn't last, and I think a factor in that was the fact that we never analysed our feelings and desires as you have, more's the pity.

I occasionally host small gatherings of couples, plus a few selected singles, and find that the feelings of desire for the cuckold experience is what is driving most of them.

They say they want to exchange partners, and do to some extent, but mostly it's all about the males wanting to watch their wives being had before them...

Good on you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, we're all in your debt!

Mike in Melbourne Australia.

The first time...amazing!

She was silent, he was amazing!

Pilgrim

A great read......

I must get round to posting my/our story one day.....

Mel x

Pilgrim-

I honestly think that the approach my husband and I have taken to this is unique. I know when we first did any swinging, most people were just fuck bunnies. That was not our style. There had to be an attraction with cloths on as well.

I think people who just act impulsively on their hedonistic needs subject themselves to potential problems. Although the cuck lifestyle may seem on the outside as being all about her, the reality is it takes two. Even in the most extreme cases, the husband is still a willing participant. And along the way if you start to cross lines, that is a recipe for disaster. Maybe for couples who consider themselves 24/7 lifestylers in this have different viewpoints. But for us, our sexual play is one part of our overall marriage and we need to make sure it is working for both.

Thank you.

It was a pleasure to read your story. We too, would like to think our cuck play is just one aspect (albiet an important one) of a loving marital relationship.

I look forward to reading more.

Ms. Lynne's hubby paulie

First, let me say how much of a pleasure it was to read your story. It was very well written and provided a greatly needed realistic insight into the lifestyle. THANK YOU for sharing it with us.

Next, I'd like to try to answer a question you posed based on my experience. You stated...

Why is it so many men here have huge fantasies of it but are afraid to share with your wife? Your spouse should be one permister you are safe to share things with, right? If you can't share dreams (sexual or other) with your spouse the problem is not merely a sexual divide between husband and wife. I say share your fantasies. If the love relationship exists, the worst she can do is say "no", right?

In my case, when I tried to share fantasies with my (now ex) wife, she responded in such a way that it prevented me from feeling comfortable with sharing any more. After sharing some with her, she looked down upon me as nothing more than a 'disgusting pervert'. I imagine many men fear the same thing. I also feel that for many people asking your wife to have other lovers sends the wife into a "how can he love me if he wants me to have sex with someone else" concern. I know from experience that my wife could never comprehend that I truly loved her even more know matter how many times we talked about it or how hard I tried to show her. With that said, I am curious to see what others say on this subject.

Again, thank you for sharing your story. I would love to be able to stay in touch with you (and even Mark) to discuss how your relationships continued to evolve and where they go from here. Feel free to email me if you would consider communicating regularly. If you would like to know more about my experiences while married, check out my other postings.

Male37slave-

Thanks for your answer. You touched on an important point in that most women are brought up to believe sex and love must go hand in hand, and that sex for sport is dirty or wrong. To this day, as sexually liberated as I believe I am, I am not able to have random ananymous sex, and short of the one time on the cruise (where we still were with the couple 4 hours a day for 6 days prior), I have never been with someone I was not friends with first.

Still, I think in any loving relationship people will have differing ideas. Not just sexually. It can be things like what to do with the bonus check? What car to buy? Which house to live in? What religion to raise the kids, etc. I have started to think that my emotional intamacy with Mark might actually not be the norm in marriage-which surprises me. From our standpoint, the whole "better or worse" thing means there is some level of unconditional love and acceptance. Of course there are limits (if he beat me for example). But sharing of fantasies, no matter how taboo, should be included in the discussion, right? As an example, Mark is really intrigued by the idea of pee play. I don't find it disgusting, but it is far from a turn on for me. I have known this fantasy of his for 15 years without ever indulging him in it (outside one time where I had him pee in his panties outside). But I don't look down on him for it. Basically, unless he came up to me with something illegal or involving naturals, etc. I would not judge him as a lessor human for it. He feels the same with me. It does not mean we will indulge each other, however.

Now, if its more than a fantasy and becomes a true fetish that you need, and the other partner is ***, I can see the potential problems.

I thank you very much for shareing your experances I am a male who would love his wife to take the step, we have spoken about it but i dont think it will ever happen, i just have to keep putting her in these positions and see what happens, but reading your storys just incourages me to keep trying
looking for fun in australia

I hope you continue to write and keep us up to date with your experance I would be happy for you to email me direct if you wish, you would make a guy in Australia very happy
looking for fun in australia

AAAbob-

Thanks for the response. But I don't know what else to write. I don't want this to turn into penthouse forum letter or dirty recounts of past individual encounters. I went into some detail on a few things because they provided reference to the greater story, which is about our marriage and lifestyle.

If you, or anyone, has specific questions or areas to discuss, please feel free to ask questions or lead the discussion.

Hi Lisa,

I'm curious about some of the more "subtle" things you've been doing in this cuckold lifestyle. You say that you haven't had intercourse with your husband for over 2 years....do you ever verbally remind him of that, or drop hints in public, or any other more mental things to keep him aroused and aware of his status in your relationship?

How has he handled the "reality" aspects to your play? You say "This was not about me wanting to have an affair, or feeling my husband was an inadquate man. Quite the opposite, in fact. My husband is an athletic, self confident man, and to this date I maintain a loving relationship with my husband, who is my soul mate." Not being allowed to fulfil his sexual masculinity with a woman must have some effect on his sexual confidence, no? How has he changed since you started this play?

Ninto-

Of course the fact that I fuck another man, and not him, is part of the play and talk. Not in public, however. Again, we have gone to great lengths to make sure our bedroom life stays private, and we dont carry the lifestyle out like others who live it 24/7 may (things like public offense, husband as a servant, etc).

The mental part is very big for us ,however. No matter how much I like a big cock, I still believe the biggest sex organ we have is the brain. Some ways that I have continued to tease him include; eluding to the fact that we will have sex or I will give him oral without following through, making a show of my sexuality with David, dressing sexy to bed at night, having him clean me or my panties up afterwards with or without any relief on his end, I have made him wear my cum wet panties before, and more. I am always inventing ways to keep him on edge. I mentioned pee play before, and have thought that even though I don't like it, if I did it with David, it would drive Mark crazy. What a mind screw that would be to give someone else something he longs for. I've thought this for years now, but have yet to follow through, but maybe someday. It would be one of those things that is definately not for me, but for him if that makes sense.

Has he changed? Well, I would say certainly he is more sexually submissive. But thats the definition of cuckold, right? Going back to something I said before about the brain being a big sex organ, both Mark and I would agree that sexuality for a man can be much more than putting his penis in a womans vagina. Has he been sexually feminized- well sure. But the term feminize or masculine are labels only and should not serve as restrictions for those who care to venture. Why can't a woman be the sexual aggressor? Many men do like straight anal play, including penetration. And as for panties, lets be honest, anything looks better on a man than tighty whities! How boring is that. If that picture in your post is you, I would even say your body would look sexy in a pair of silky panties- much more erotic than Fruit of the Looms.

Mark has stated that he still can have intense orgasms, not based on the act (all he gets is my hand or his so there is no different "act" so to speak), but based on the surroundings. Have I teased him enough? Is what I am doing or not doing erotic to him? If I have withheld letting him have an orgasm, when he finally does he says it is more explosive. Again, it goes back to the mind being the stimulant.

Has the lack of sexual performance/confidence translated to real life? Not as far as I can tell. My husband runs a small business and is a consultant to many businesses. In the "real world" my husband is actually quite the leader- on non profit boards, coach, business owner, definately the leader among his siblings and within his side of the family. Psychologically taking a back seat sexually actually gives him a break from responsibility and having to be the one in charge.

Conversely has it made me more confident? Sexually certainly, no doubt about it. I find it quite an honor to be 100% in charge of my entire sex life. Plus you act the part of the lusty wanted wife enough, you start to believe it more. Has it carried over to "real life", I don't know. But perhaps I am too close to it to realize.

Lisa,

I agree with your thoughta on these subjects. Women are brought up to believe they should grow up and marry prince charming and the TWO of them live happily ever after. Until recent years, there was a stigma attached to being a woman that admitted enjoying sex. Sex outside the marriage is still a taboo. The lifestyle isn't for every couple, but it can work well for some and you are a good example of the successful ones.

I also agree that a couple should be able to explore and discuss fantasies without judgement. It does not mean that you have to live out the fantasies, but I see nothing wrong with talking about them and maybe even roleplaying some of them now and then. I have always seen sex as a way of pleasing and pleasuring your partner. If I do something for my partners pleasure which isn't necessarily a huge turn on for me, is it wrong to expect she would be willing to play along once in a while to do something I do find a huge turn on if it isn't totally offensive?

I also agree with you in essense in that since my (ex) wife and I couldn't deal with the issues like fantasies without judgements, it was an indication of bigger problems which is likely why we are no longer married.

Again, thank you so much for your well written insight especially from a woman's view point. I appreciate it and from the number of responses, it appears others do too.

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Lisa,

I appreciate all the time that you've put into describing your history and thoughts here, it's a good read and exciting as well. My wife may enjoy some of the things you've talked about, as well, as I know she's been reading this.

Does David get involved with dominating your hubby or is it something you mostly keep for yourself?

One thing I've got to add, is that you've mentioned a few times about "thinking about doing" some things. What holds you back? I've always thought that if you want to do something and there's no real safety concerns holding you back, then it's time to jump in and do it. No time like the present, but then again I'm a bit driven ;)

Ninto-

First answer: David does get involved in the process, but probably not as much as some of the harder core stories. If he were bi, or open to the idea of bi play, that might open other doors that are not open. But he does get involved in a few ways. Often if Mark is there when David and I are having sex, he is reminding Mark that he is getting something Mark does not. And although not bi, he will call Mark a cum sucker and encourage him to lick me after sex or kiss me after oral. As a private birthday present last year he bought Mark a pair of pink lacy panties and the card made it clear what role Mark had sexually. David loves to tell Mark to pick my outfits out. Another time David had a great idea that really emphazided the point of what was going on with Mark. We are not into pain, etc. but David's idea was to tie Mark up to a chair. Then we left to another room and I put on my wedding dress, veil, etc. We also got the video of our wedding. We came back into the room, put the video in the machine, and made a real display of things. From the wedding dress to the fact that our wedding video was on, it really put an emphasis on things.

Of course, there are more things, but this was just some of the first things that come to mind.

Now to address those things I have "thought about doing" but never followed through on. First, I agree with you that if you want to try something enough you will do it. That helps answer the question too. Take the pee play thing. If I thought for a second that I was going to be turned on by it, I would have done it long ago. But I don't. And there is some irony involved. On one hand, if I did something with David in front of Mark, it would be another empatic point to make in the cuckolding of Mark. Doing something with another man that I would not do with my husband. On the other hand, since I don't think I would get any sexual gratification from it, the only one who would get anything physically or mentally out of it is David, and the sex should be about me, not him. lol. Anyone with creative ideas how to figure out this conundrum please advise?

There is irony in the double penetration thing too. Unlike pee play, I do think if done right/gentle, etc. that this would be an incredible feeling. However, to make that happen, I need Mark's penis inside me. That would alter part of our play right now. The other possibilities include another man, and that is a risk I simply won't take. The other more minor obstacle is I think that some things you see in porn are best left to porn people. I mean, I like anal, but how some of those women take a huge, unlubricated penis in their ass for 30 minutes is beyond me. I keep thinking behind the scenes those girls don't walk for a week. So if I was a betting woman, while I think the potential for complete hedonistic pleasure exists, I would bet the reality would not live up to the fantasy.

Being someone who needs and seeks out changes and new thrills in life (in the bedroom and out), I know myself enough to know that someday the psychological part of not having sex will get old, and when that happens, I will indeed move to the DP thing.

Conclusion is that I don't think just because you think about something that it should be done. If you think about buying a Mercedes, do it, and can't afford it, there are ramifications. Translating "thinking of doing something" into actually doing it- especially when it involves other people and taboo things, is not always easy, practical, or advisable.

By the way, Ninto, is that picture you? If so, you might shed some light on some of the other questions people have had about how an otherwise masculine seeming man would find any enjoyment out of being feminized, cuckolded, or whatever.

Lisa,
How have you managed to deal with your youngren and David's youngren. Aren't they suspicous of your activities?

Silly-

Babysitters, discretion, etc. Now our youngren are old enough to stay home on own. We take advantage of hotels and weekend nights when David's kids might not be home or ours not home. Also, we don't carry this into the "real world" so to speak, so even if our families are together, etc. we interact as typical neighborhood families would interact with each other.

Lisa,
Thank you for explaining. Do you think your youngren have noticed your husband's presentation to you, or is there a risk they will see his panties? Panty waistbands are hard to hide forever when shirts are pulled out, or during the normal family interactions around toilets, etc.
Silly

Hi Lisa,

No, unfortunately the picture isn't me - I wish I had that kind of body!

I have a devious idea as to how you can achieve your double penetration idea without too much difficulty.

You'll need three things - the list is rather self explanatory:

1. Condom
2. Topical anasthetic (sometimes sold as a product made to make you last a long time!)
3. Viagra/Cialis

The Viagra is because if you pick the right products, he won't feel a thing but will need to be able to stay hard!

Lisa,
Between laundry baskets and dresser drawers, if your youngren are 8 yrs or older, there's little chance that they don't know about your husband's choice for underwear. Have you thought about how the feminization of their man may affect their own self images?

May I suggest an alternative to panties - men's underwear that is very panty like, such as microfiber, polyester boxer-briefs without fly? They still have men's looking waist bands but feel just like panties.
Silly

Hi Lisa,

Thank you so much for the posts. I read it a few days ago and enjoyed it completely. Since then I have have been trying to formalize some questions that I would like to hear your answer on. I thank your openness and your offer to answer questions. I can only speculate on your many adventures that you elluded to!

1.Concerning David and Mark's interaction- In social situations, is there any dominating aspect that carries over from the bedroom. Examples are; if D and M were to get into a debate, would it be clear that M would be the one to back down. If you all dine out, would D automatically get the head of the table? If the two families go someplace for the weekend, does D's desires trump M's? The last slice of pizza: who gets it? I guess what I am asking is that since D took M's wife right from under him, does he now accept a submissive role always?

2. Taking another man's cock- I have heard, on this site and others, that women who are initially hesitant to cucking their husbands, change on a dime once another man is inside her. Some women have described that their feelings (sexual and otherwise) toward their husbands crossed a threshold once another man shot inside them that they could never return from. You described how you now deny your husband sex for years now. Is this a result of your disinterest in him satisfying you with his dick, a offense device, or has the way you viewed him as a sexual creature completely changed once he gave up/lost exclusivity toward your pussy? With options like these Im getting a feeling of some mixture, but could you please select one as a standout?

3.Sex not equaling love- Since you like it big, and have left your marital bed (or kicked M out, whichever:}) how would you feel if M decide to start pursuing other women with whom to have sex? He would of course follow the same hygiene/descreetness rules of your engagements. Try not to involve whether he may in reality want to or not. I would just like to know if an intergral part of the adventure is not only your infidelity, but also his emasculation and his surrender of his masculinity.

4.Strapons- Tried them? Thinking about it?

Thanks again! I hope these are enough straightforward for you. Congradulations btw for your sexual freedom!