Hi noname1,
I'm like you with respect to your desires... here's a very brief synopsis of what I've learned over the years:
I started out looking for women who would entertain these types of fantasies and found myself at various pan-sexual kink groups where I discovered many women who were into it. I eventually met a girl from a craigslist post who was right for me. I advertised I was looking for a naturally dominant permisterality who desires full sexual freedom. I got a response back from my now Girlfriend. I told her through an exchange of emails that I was a bit of a sissy, enjoy being obligate into strap-on sex and sometimes have a strong urge to sissy it up with panties, etc.
We met and hit it off -- starting our relationship with all kinks on the table. We really have a very healthy and normal relationship except for occasionally (maybe once a month) she tells me that she wants to fuck me with the strap, and then I do whatever she asks of me. I also have my own panty drawer -- she will pick out a random week and make me wear panties all week to work. It's very hot. Often times, it'll be the same week she decides to fuck me.
My GF and I have decided that we do not want to risk what we have by entering into the cuckold lifestyle, but we think about it and include it in our dirty talk. What we have is very special and I love her more than I thought I ever could. We agree that should my penis stop functioning or if she decides she needs something bigger to reach satisfaction, I will bow to her needs. But then, I digress.
So, given my experience, I'd say you should find some safe kink clubs, go make friends and network as you would in any other social setting. Make friends and be fully open about yourself (especially WITH yourself) at all times. I would also suggest going to gay bars... and NOT to find a cock to fuck your mouth, but make friends. I've found that if I network in the GLBT scene, I wind up meeting a lot of people and learning more about my level of sissiness. I see some who take their sissy selves to the level of performing in drag shows. It's good. It reminds me that I'm not transgendered, I just like the taboo of it. In fact, if I've found that if I wear panties every day, it gets old and I slip into the mind set that it's just cloth. At that point, the taboo is gone. Eventually the 'sexy' will return in it, but that's just who I am and where I'm at on the sissy scale.
That brings me to this thought: This is not necessarily a progression or a road to being gay. It is simply a taboo kink that may lead to other things you enjoy like sucking a superior black cock. Doing so doesn't flip some eternal switch that makes you 'gay.' Yes, you're probably bi, but bi how much? Bad pun? It's all up to you. Find your kinky mistress, and don't forget to share your experiences here.
~To thine own self be true~
Hope this is helpful,
SoF
[email protected] ~ Check out our podcast at http://cuckcast.com
