My wife found my pictures . . .

A few months ago I was playing with a permister through Myspace who was dominating me and I loved it. She (or he, who knows) had me doing things and taking pictures and sending them to her. Things like wearing my wifes clothes (panties, bras, dresses, hose, shoes, nighties), jerking off on her high heel shoes and licking my sperm off (all the while shooting pix w/ my webcam), painting my nails and holding household items up to my cock to show how small it was erect and non-erect. I loved the domination and had a fantastic time serving this permister. That ended about 3 months ago. All in all I took about 70 pix and have them still on my pc. I never shared them with my wife because I was certain that should wouldn't appreciate them and would view me differently if she had seen them.

Well, today my wife confided in me that she found these pictures about 2 months ago. She didn't tell me because she thought I would be embarassed to know that she knew (translation: she was embarassed to bring it up). We spent about 15 mins talking it through and I shared the entire scenario that led to the pix. But, she never really expressed how she felt - only that she was protecting me (which my gut says was part of the story).

So, I'm not looking for jerk off material when I ask you for your thoughts on this but I really would appreciate knowing what the readers of this board think I ought to do to prevent this from being a wedge between us. One friend says I give her time (a few days) and bring it up. But, I'm not sure in what context I should bring it up. I'm thinking something along the lines of "I want to know your full feelings on the subject. I want to know how you felt seeing me in the pix. I want to know if you're embarassed by them or scared of them, etc.". I feel like I'm missing something in how to address it with her and I know communication is the key. I'd really appreciate your thoughts - please let me know what you think.

Thanks in advance!

I think you have the right approach, give it a few days, tell her you would like to talk about the pictures in a little more detail, let her know how worried you have been wondering how she feels about the whole experience. Take the time to explain how it made you feel taking the pictures and why you like the offense/domination. Reassure her it has nothing to do with WHO the permister was on the internet, it was all about WHAT they made you do that was exciting. I really do wish you the best of luck and I hope you can work it out and maybe this is the catalyst to a new side to your relationship. Please let us know how you get on.

I think BBULL is right and has given you good advise keep us informed on the out come
looking for fun in australia

Thanks guys. Good advice indeed. I'll wait the weekend and keep you posted.

Draclif:

I think the direct approach is always the best, you will get a more focused response from others. It also depends on the depth and closeness of your current relationship. If your able to communicate with her on other intimate subjects, at some point, this issue needs to be discussed further and both your feelings should be carefully and completely explored.

You indicated that she was embarrassed to even bring this up for 2 months, so it may take time to for her to feel comfortable sharing her feelings. You wife may not understand your motivation or arousal related to this activity, even if you explain it, so be careful about assuming anything. She may be viewing you differently, the question is will she honestly share her new perspective with you and can you accept this change in your roles.

On the other hand, if she is turned on by it, she may have difficulty admitting it to you. This may be an opportunity, depending on her reaction to share more information about your secret interests and fantasies. At some psychological level, you wanted to be discovered, or you would have been more careful about hiding the evidence on your PC. Living a secret life and/or not sharing intimate desires with your partner is bound to catch up with you sooner or later, so now may be an opportunity to clear the air.

Hope the two of you can work through this, may not be an easy process and take some time, before a new equilibrium in your relationship is reached, but is truly worth the effort. It will bring you closer and result in less anxiety for you ..........

Thanks for asking. She wasn't unhappy. But, she didn't really know what to do about it. She essentially disregarded it. She's played with the fantasy about 3 times but it's not her bag and I don't expose it to her. Oh well.