Request for captions centering on red hair?

As a short guy with red hair I'm well aware that I haven't a cat's chance of getting laid by a real woman. Any chance someone could do some mocking captions based around this theme. Or crooked teeth for that matter?
sub male

She has red hair, but she would never let a wimp like you fuck her!

I would never let a redheaded wimp like you fuck me! Delete attachment #1

Don't even think that a pityful little man like you could ever fuck me!

Just take your pictures and use them to jerk off over! Delete attachment #1

These are great, thanks! I didn't actually mean the women in the pictures should have red hair but that last girl especially looks awesome.
sub male