First time blues?

Hi All,

I was cucked for the very first time on Friday night when my girlfriend encouraged me to ask the taxi driver in for a 'take' - she led him into the kitchen by the hand and started french kissing him while I opened some wine and changed clothes into something slinky and very slutty. It was exhilirating at the time, and I even got to slip a condom onto his black cock with my mouth, although he came very quickly so I didn't get the full experience of seeing & hearing her being properly fucked, but it was a shocking and exciting thing just seeing her be so tender and affectionate with a total stranger. At the time, I absolutely LOVED it.

BUT I was shocked when a couple of days later I had something of a dive emotionally and experienced very deep shame and regret, and am frightened that it will take some time to recover from seeing her being so affectionate, despite her doing it at my insistence for months now, and that she insists she was doing it for me all along.

Has this been the experience of others?
Is this what they mean by 'be careful what you wish for'?
Why has it taken me 4 days before I can even get a hard-on with her on my own?

I'm very confused, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Its not unusual for guys to feel like this the first time, you're just experiencing mixed emotions. Let them settle and see how you feel. Its my guess you'll want to do this again. If not then leave it as its not for you.

for years i have wanted my wife to go out and fuck someone, its a massive fantasy, at the time i would even be turned on if she cheated on me, anything as long as she was getting cock from somewhere else.

This happened last august (she was cheating, i found out but she didnt know i knew)). At first it was the biggest turn on ever, but then i started to get the same emotional feelings you have.
I felt like i was going to lose her but she insisted she wasnt cheating.
In the end i found out the guys name and told her to end it which she did.

The sex with her at the time was the best and during this time i told her my fantasy re her going out and having sex with other guys, of course she said she was up for it - she was already doing it.

If have never felt so low when we were going through it, but now i want her to go out and do it again. She is playing it down alot, probabbly because of how i was last time.
I wouldnt say i want the full cuck experience ie sucking a guy or putting his condom on etc, just fro my wife to have sex bareback with strangers, i but yearning for her to go out hasnt dimmed, even tho i know the 'after' feelings. Its like the build up is hot hot hot, but try thinking about it in your mind when youve just had sex and come etc. Once your need for sex has just been satisfied you seem to be able to think it over more sensibly and at that time it doesnt seem such a good idea, never the less the feelings do return lol

If you want to chat about it send me a pm, seems we have alot in common.

Paul