Former Hotwife no longer interested in sex

a bit over 20 years ago, my wife and I get into the swinger lifestyle, which quickly led to a cuckold relationship. My wife was an insatiable flirt who had an equally insatiable appetite for sex. Once "set free" to have whomever she chose, whenever she chose, she became the ultimate Hotwife.

My interest in being a cuckold was as simple as deciding to do it. She already had regular lovers, so there was no convincing, like so many guys have to do. I told her of my love for her, and that I wanted to be completely devoted to her. She was nervous at first, fearing I would insist she be faithful to me, but I assured her that was not the case.

Like a good cuck, I truly enjoyed licking her clean after she had sex. She would come home and I would meet her in the bedroom, where she would quickly remove her panties, lift her skirt and sit on my face. She usually began telling me about the guy and how amazing he was, how big his cock was, or how many orgasms she had. And usually, I brought her to another orgasm before she would finish stripping and allow me to make love to her.

I expressed my interest in chastity and orgasm denial, and we bought a chastity cage. She never insisted I wear it, and I only wore it when she had a lover over, or when she was out with one of them. We even talked of her moving one of her lovers into our home and truly reducing me to the 'beta male'. But right about the time when we were getting serious about that next step in our relationship/lifestyle, something happened.

My wife sustained an injury that left her in constant pain. One of the side effects of that pain was a complete loss of interest in sex. She was very apologetic, and asked me if I wanted to be released from my vow to her, that I would only have sex with her. She even suggested I get a girlfriend for sex. I confirmed my love for her, and turned down the offer of "sexual freedom."

Now, seven years later, I am in a totally sexless marriage. My wife is still apologetic, but hasn't brought up the offer that I get a girlfriend in years. For the past seven years, my only sexual relief has been masturbation. And that feels like I'm betraying her. I've tried putting the chastity cage on, and have had it on for quite a few hours, but I've been apprehensive to ***** with it on. I don't know why.

And I'm afraid to give her the keys, because at this point, she would see it as an answer to my problem. I can hear her now, "Out of sight, out of mind." I would be locked forever and that would be that. The thought of being locked forever has certain aspects that intrigue me, but in my case, none of those aspects would be there. I would remain in a sexless marriage, but now with no masturbation either.

Being locked up is exciting if you are serving in a capacity that brings pleasure to your partner. It's exciting to know that your wife is having sex while you're at home with your cock locked up, unable to even achieve an erection. It's very exciting to be in a relationship where you drop to your knees and perform oral sex on your wife whenever she wants it, knowing your orgasm isn't going to happen. I've played those games, but the thought of nothing else again, ever? That's something I can't get my mind around, even though I'm living it to a certain degree.

I still don't know the answer, but felt I needed to talk to someone about it. And since this isn't a topic any of my friends would understand, I thought I'd share it with you.