I am new here and would like some advice thank you

hello everyone, as you may have notice from the title , i just now joined this blog group and was hoping to reach out to some of you to get some advice about what i have going on.
So i will give some context to my situation , first of all i am 24 years old and happily engaged to my fiance shes 23.

We are absolutely in love so much and care about each other more than the world and i could go on and on but that isnt really the reason i am here. So yes we have a very strong relationship been through ups and downs over 6 years and better than ever now. But i have this thing that i like im sure that you know, but i love to watch her get fucked so much and love to see her get pleased more then i ever could and see her moan and scream way harder than i ever make her.

It kind of all started by accident honestly but to me its a pretty great story. So me and her met when we were really young adults 19/20 ish. Honestly the first year or so was pretty rocky and we ended up splitting for awhile but for the better in the end. I needed to figure out myself and had a lot of problems that i was able to figure out so during our4 month or so break , i would try to talk to her but she didnt want to really and i would get mad and push her away and all of this.

During this period she had aquired a group of guy friends that she would talk to and one of them she would be trying to give me the impression that him and her liked each other and she could "never hang out " because she told him she would already and always made excuses to not see me. You have to understand at this point we fought alot and i wasnt really great for this relationship.

But anyways sometime before we were officially dating again and would occasionally hang out and fuck she said something about one of her friends dicks being so fucking huge compared to mine. At first i was kinda mad about it and was like wtf why would you say that , but at that point i knew she liked to kinda make me jealous with that but i got over it. She started to talk to them less and hang out with me more. And she explained to me one time at that point that she didnt want to really be in a relationship yet because she hasmt really experienced alot yet and doesnt want to be held down or something to that effect.

What i do remember from that specific conversation was that when we were talking about this (over text , she lived in the next town over) we both had the same idea in saying that if she wanted to be more open we could have a 3sum , and we both kinda said it at the same time. This got me like really excited and fluttery kind of .it was awhile ago so all the details are fuzzy , but we were talking about something along the lines of all this stuff , and i asked if she still had the picture of that friends dick still and she said no but she could ask him.

And she showed me it and i couldnt even believe how massive that thing was. It was insane like 10 inches or something. This was around the time where i really realized that it turns me on for her to do stuff with other guys because even when she flirted or messaged him it turned me on so much. We ended up not ever doing anythint with him really but i did tell her i wanted to watch her get fucked. Keep in mind at this point i was still also a pretty jealous type it took me alittle while to adjust in my mind because it is so much to process , but i wanted it so bad anyway.

So she said that she is down and she makes a profile on the app that we actually met on , and she made a profile talked to some guys and explained a little about it. There was this other guy that was in her town and he was talking to her and telling her he wants to fuck her without me there and all this stuff.

I guess she doesnt really talk to him for a little and the next thing i remember was me and her being in a argument , i asked if she was talking to anyone or something that but she told me.she was gonna go bowling with this same guy that said he wanted to fuck her without me there even though i told her i really wanted to watch.

It really made me mad. I honestly cant remember what happened if she hungout with him or not. But i dont think she fucked him or anything. But i just remember being so mad and angry because she was chosing THIS guy that was basically going against what i wanted to do this whole thing for and she was gonna be apart of that , and that turned me on so fucking much and i loved the thought of it all more and more.

I started to get more turned on by the idea of being humiliated and things like that. There were some other personal things i had going on at the time and we kind of went away from that for awhile , as we do usually , just focusing on work mainly. But she ended up having an opportunity to work on a cruise ship for 4 months and she always really wanted to so she did. We talked alot during this time and still werent technically together really but we always loved each other through everything we went through. During that time we would sext and talk about her getting fucked by a black guy and all this stuff and i lovee it and was so excited for her to get back since at that time i just got my own place and stuff like that.

We were both excited about this new sexual thing , always way more me though , so excited about i really get tunnel vision and it usually ends up ruining things for me ( which is something i want to talk about and hopefully get some advice for , but will go into more detail at the end of the story and thank you so much for still listening and i promise its a good story) so anyways she on her job for 4 months. During that time , i talk to her and i make a post on craigslist about trying to find some BBC to fuck my wife when she gets back and we were excited about. Also some context for this too is that when we would talk and say we miss each other she would ALWAYS tell me id be the first person she would see when she got back. (I wasnt ).Just remember that for later lmao.

But yeah anyways i start talkking to this guy or she does alot . Igave him her snapchat. She told me.they would talk alot and always sexting and stuff . I love when she would talk to him even though i would get jealous because i KNEW she was like giving me short one word responses when she would talk to him alot more and ask about his day and all lf this which i thought was so hot as fuck and i was also happy she had a new friend to talk to. So she comes back.

I was at work one night right after she got back and she said she was coming into my town with a friend but would be leaving way before i was off of work. I really wanted to see her that night but with my work it was hard to do so we just planned on meeting the next day. So i was always curious like what have you and him been talking to blah blah blah and usually she would tell me or something but i asked this time before bed and she said "nothing, im going to ***** " but i already knew something happened.

The next day , i get her we fuck and then as a joke kinda i was like damn it feels like i could fit more dick in you and she probably thought i could tell a difference cause then she was like oh babe i need to tell you something. She told me she just went to meet this guy while she was in town the night before and he seduced her and fucked the **** out of her and i seen she had some hickies. She said she went up to his apartment to say hi and it was super clean , and she automatically started grabbing her ass , kissing her , picked her up brought her to the bedroom and fucked the **** out of her.

My mind was blown and i HAD to jack off right then ane there with her there. It made me SO HAPPY to hear those details. Fuck. So fast forward a few months go by , really normal stuff going on , spending time on days off etc. One day around halloween time i wanted to suprised her because she loves halloween . I wanted to officially ask her to be my girlfriend in a really romantic way. So i went to walmart and bought some halloween stuff and candles and i wrote out the candles in my kitchen counter so the candles said "be my" and there was this cool ghost statue that said "boo".

Anyways , shes happy , we kiss , we start to fuck and then i try and dirty talk with her and im like yeah baby you like this dick? And she actually sarcastically laughed and said "oh sure babe" when I know she was lying. I said something along the lines of like oh well if im not that good i want that other guy to fuck you and she AGREES WITH ME. MID SEX and calls him she asked if he can fuck and let me watch and he agrees BUT he says that when we get there she has to go up first and then tell me when to come up.

I was so In disbelief and we were driving across town for him. We get there i wajt in the car and see her walk up the stairs to him and give him a hug while he grabs her ass.i was waiting patiently and it felt like sooo long. Finally i got a text that told me to come up and to go to the second door on th3 right or something. They tkld me the wrong room lmao i guess on accidnet. I tried to call once she didnt answer. I tried again and he answered and told me to stop calling and she is busy. I sent some texts begging to watch and called and heard her pjck up the phone screaming and she tells me the number finally after im begging.fuck this turns me on so bad thinking about it. I walk in and hear her moanjng and could not believe it.

He was taking a break from fucking her and was eating her ass so he wouldn't cum. I tried to get close but they told me to go sit on the floor across the room.i sat there and jacked off 2 times. It was so abosolutely amazing and i loved every second of it. I bought her some food and took her home.

to give you a idea for a time line of this i beleive this was october 2017. We met 2015 brokeup in 2016 and now were back after this in 2017 when she fucked him and said yes to my candles1 lmao. In march 2018 she moves in with me , not too much crazy stuff , how ever one day we did have someone else over at our apartment and fucked her so much better than the firat time and this time i was there the whole time he was super respectful but never answerwd my wife back again lol.

I think that was around septemer 2018. A couple other points to bring up with this whole thing is that this something i am alot more into than her. She only likes it when she is in the move , she has a little bit of confidence issues but she did love doing it those 2 times. So we only really end up doing it those 2 times so far. Fast forward through 2019 where we dealt with so much bs we havent done anything out of ordinary that year, but always i keep in mind of my fantasies with her.also something else to note is that i have a way bigger sex drive , almost never is enough for me and it can take alot less to satisfy her to be content , but she really enjoys sex , with me and others .

But she has a very irregular period and often can go on for months with short stopping periods. Which i hate seeing her have to deal with that totally seperate from our sex life. But it does have a great impact on our sex life .

Before she was put onto birth control pills and it balanced out her periods like normal and we were able to have a more frequent sex life for awhile til she stopped taking them. I have mentioned it to her but by no means do i want to pressure her to do anything i feel if she wants to bad enough she will , and i can just present the idea and not push it.

I try to tell her and be upfront about my feelings buts a slow battle to win and usually ends up in a vicious cycle of not wanting to talk about how i feel and then tell her and then nothing hallens or a arguments starts so ive really gotten into the habit of hiding what i feel. I know its all about communication but how much more am i supposed to tell her than exactly what was on my mind to just get brushed off.so back to the story again , sorry if this story is confusing but i want to give a clear timeline of events and all context so hopefully someone reading this can relate in one way or another , so i really apreciate it so much so far and im getting close to wrapping this up.

But fast forward from september 2018 when we had the one guy come over to january 2020. Nothing has really happened between then besides normal sex. BUT in January 2020 , my GF , now fiance posts on snapchat with one of those anonymous questions. I thought it would be funny to try and mess with her about it so i write "do you miss this dick" or something like that. Then she messaged me and told me that he messaged her on there and then i was like oh **** becahee i honestly forgot about it.

And she told me what "he " said and i was like well damn do you miss it and she admits yes she does and she would want to fuck him and let me watch simce i have been good to her lately.i was so happy about this news and we wouldtalk about it alot , more me, when she is at work and inappropriate times because i was so worked up over it it would rwally start to annoy her sometimes. I wanted to gi all out this time since the last times were pretty normal like i wanted to have a chastity cage and be himiliated and everything. We ordered this stuff got it would dirty talk alot but i would push too far alot and annoy her.

I knew jt was becoming a problem when j couldnt go a day withoutsaying anything about it. I knew i was potentially ruining something i really wanted. One day she got really mad and really seemed like she wasnt into it at that moment, but right when we first wanted to get us a hotel at a nice casino for valentines day , and i buy her some sexy lingerie , the whole ****. We have dinner and hang out throughout the day and had been planning to have her old friend over to fuck her that night too. I explained to her before that i was really sorry for going overboard (honestly because i think the chastity was so much for me.to handle especially with her sexting these other guys and treating me like a peasant, making me.clean the house in a thong while her sister is home , making me show her sister the color of my thong.

That part first made me so angry and turned me on cause she kept saying " go on show her what color your thong is" it was bright pink. So yeah lol i couldnt handle that and got annoying. But i explain my self and my worries about never having that spark of excitement in our love life again becauee this is something that without a doubt i want to do more of and experiment with her.

Sometimes i am obsessed and its so frusterating. So on our valentines day trip we were supposed to have that guy come. Even earlier in the same day i was under the impression the he would come later. But later ,me and her end up having sex and she was saying there was something that like hurt her pussy and she was still having off and on problems with her period whe we fucked and she didnt feel like having him over. I respected her choice and didnt want our whole weekemd get away to be ruined, but j still have the suspicion that she just didnt want to and just didnt want to say that. She really hasnt had the same excitement about it since when we first started getting back into it auto mattically. This is the part i really need help with. I mean when i confronted her about it she says she will want to eventually but not now. Thats what really makes me feel like i ruined this whloe thing for myself because i didnt really know how to handle and compartmentalize these emotions i had because its all i would think about.

Its april now , since then i have brought it up a few times and she says she cant becauee her period. Which i do know its true about that. but i dont know. I really would like some opinions because im not getting any younger and i want to have my sexual fantasies with my wife come true and i want to have so much fun doing it together.

I know what i should do but l wanna hear what other people think
i feel like i should start with trying to get her to go to the doctor and see what is up with that and see if we cant get her cycle on track. And then basically try to have more sex. Try and talk to her about it at that point and see how far it is. Ive just been waiting so long for this and then to have it ripped from my hands before i could do anything is really hard so anyone that is reading thanks so much and i would love to apreciate the input. Thanks alot seriously!!