Not all cucks are wimps!

Do you ever notice that in all cuckold movies the husband is some pathetic wimp? This stereo typing of us is ridiculous. I have been a cuckold for 5 years now and I'm not some whimpering little man whining as my wife has sex with other people. I'm not some chump waiting to eat her cum filled hole or clean his spent shaft. I don't have a small penis and I can completely satisfy my wife. Were not all wimps! I am a confident successful man, I am attractive, professional, and not bi at all. I can have about any woman I want anytime I want. The truth is that my wife loves the excitement of casual sex and I have no desire to be with anyone else. Does that make me a wimp, or unmanly? I don't think so!

B2W... I understand your point. We cuckolds just keep the lifestyle to ourselves. Yes, it is real however cpl's just don't advertise to john Q public. No reason to get mad, rant & get angry.

Thank you for posting.......

I think it is because the word "cuckold" has always had such negative connotations. Back in the 1980's when I first became aware of this type of sexual activity, it was always referred to as "wife sharing". If a man is to share his wife, then he has to have confidence in himself and his wife that she will not leave him for the first handsome or well endowed lover.

Once the word "cuckold" became the common name for the lifestyle, then it seemed to attract those who are more into the sub/dom and/or bisexual fetishes. Like you, I am also a good looking confident man who is larger than average in the trouser department. Even now, in our late 50's, I am still satisfying my wife on an almost daily basis. When I was younger, I guess I was a bit of a bull, as I had various affairs, including with the wife of my best friend. However, these days, my greatest desire is to see another man between my wife's legs. Unfortunately, like most married couples in here, the wife will not agree to do it.

Quite often I do cam2cam with other guys and I enjoy watching them jerk off as I show them my wife's pics. Most of them come on quite bullish, telling me what they would like do to my wife. However, the longer I chat with these guys, it's quite amazing how many of them eventually admit that they have the same fantasies about their own wives. These are not pathetic wimps, but just normal guys who get turned on by the thought of their wives having sex with other men.

I suspect that "wife sharing" is the most common fantasy amongst middle aged married men. However, most men do not like to admit to it, probably because they will be seen as a Cuckold, with all those negative aspects that are now associated with that lifestyle.

I think "Wife Sharing" and "Cuckoldry" are two different things.

black2wife i agree 100 % i share my wife and i am built bigger than most guys she has been with and i love to reclaim her after she is done. We are in are mid 50 's and have a great sex life.

The definition has been hijacked by the extremists. Cuckolding is simply sharing your wife, in all of its various forms. But the extremists added other fetishes, including male sissification, humil1ation, crossdressing, etc., and so it's become quite confusing.

I'm an Alpha cuck. My wife fucks other guys, sometimes alone and sometimes with me present. But there is NEVER any humil1ation or Dom/sub activities. We're into cuck and just cuck... not all those other kinks. There are some great threads on FetLife on the subject of Alpha cucks.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Hi-
Most couples I have been with the Male has always been a total wimp and sissy boy and more times then not he never wanted sex with her.I had 2 husbands desire another man? and they found them.
The wife belonged to me as she should.Husbands are good for only domestic use and support.NO sex for them ever.I have had husbands pay for dinner for me and his wife and more.
Most of the time again the husband has been a total wimp and sissy boy! and me and his wife laughed at him.
I been in this type of scene for about 7 yrs now and have had wives,girlfriends etc.I also bred one female.
I am always seeking hot wives to enjoy and love as well.
Mike

I think the people who produce porn videos is not seeking to reflect social reality, but to sell.

May be there are more porn movies with wimp cuckolds because it produce more morbidity and, therefore, money.

It would be interesting to know statistical data showing what percentage of cuckolds are wimp, but definitely be cuckold not mean being wimp.
It's obvious that English is not my native language. Sorry for any inconvenience. My blog (spanish): http://keratafilia.blogspot.com

I suspect that it would be much more than the "internet fantasy world" portrays. Like you point out, the porn industry sells a version of cuckolding that is designed to appeal to a broad spectrum of buyers. They combine many different fetishes into a single video, including wimp/sissification, interracial, crossdressing, FemDom, humil1ation, cum eating, whipping, spitting, pissing, etc... then they label it "cuckold". Doing it that way, the vid appeals to many different fetishists.

However, real world cuckolding is usually a much more tame version, where the wife goes to a lovers house for a few hours... or a husband shares his wife with a friend, etc.

I joined FetLife recently, because they have some great discussions about cuckolding, and how the definition has become confusing. There are hundreds of posts that begin, "I'm not a cuckold but I love to share my wife....".
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Black2wife I agree,like in life there are grays in most things..My Billy (hubby and cuck) is a huge man (not where it counts) and ALL my B/F's are extremly hesitant around him..But he is a real submissive but dont mistake it for him being a wimp..He beat up my ex (both ex husband and boyfriend)..Because a wife fools around doesnt have to reflect on her husband,we arnt slaves ,sluts maybe but free to make choices and crongrats to hubby for allowing this..

Yes, this is my interpretation as it fits me and my wife. I am a dominate male and the cuckolding part is about me having the authority over her to share her with another male/give her body to another man. I enjoy watching my wife please another man because I am the one who sets it up.

Me: "Honey, we're going to a hotel Fri. night, I have this guy meeting up there (I describe him to her). I'm going to film him fucking you. Be ready though, we're both going to cum in your ass"

Wife: "Tell him he has to go slow"

So in a way, it's about "ownership" of the female. That she is willing to do these sexual things with others for her husband's sexual pleasure.

You're an Alpha cuck, like me. Some of our most memorable experiences involved bondage, where I tied her up and then let the other guy into the room, then stood back and watched her being ravaged. It had a strong D/s dynamic to it.

Now, in the last year we've gone more the other way, giving her more control and letting her pick and choose the men she wants to be with, as well as the freedom to go to them alone. But it's understood that I can veto someone if I choose (although I never have).

Regardless, there is never any male subm1ssion, humil1ation, etc. We're just into cuckolding... not those other fetishes.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

depends on what you see as a "whimp". Its not about the woman in the relationship alone. There are two, three of more. As far as whimp goes, my hubbie is a manly man, large, with a small cock. He loves me to have my way. Does that make him a whimp? I dont think so.
stupid questions dont exist...
stupid answers however....

Luvpain.
I don't think that most cuckolds are wimps. It just seems that most cuckold video's portray cuckolds as wimps. I am far from a wimp, the truth is my wife was involved in the swinging scene years before we met and honestly I love watching her play.

I think "Wife-watching" is a better description for my fetish and that of many so-called 'cuckolds'. In the UK,the now defunct Forum Magazine's annual themed edition used to have a section dedicated to Wife-watching letters- some of those letters entailed ***********, chastity, and male sissification, but most of them didn't.
Sometime ago I suggested to Mr BC that there should be a separate "W-W" themed heading, but the current categories have remained constant for some time now.
In the fetish world, the word 'cuckold' definitely does carry strong submissive connotations. My instincts are that black2wife is correct in his judgement, but who knows? The main argument should surely be that the forum should strive to cater adequately for the whole spectrum of "cuckoldry", not just the more extreme manifestations of the fetish.

I believe we're gradually seeing the pendulum swing back slightly. As you mentioned, the fetish world has made cuckold synonymous with male sub mission. However the reality is that the majority of real-world cuckolds are more moderate. Most cuckolds are straight, married men who are simply aroused by their wife having sex with others. The entire universe of cuck is not accurately portrayed by the video industry and its sissy-wimp versions.

While I definitely have respect and toleration for those with other tastes, I also believe that nobody should project their preferences onto others, dictating what "all cuckolds" do or don't do. There are a lot of posts dictating that "all" cucks wear panties, suck dick, are useless wimps and have small dicks. That's just nonsense.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Actually, I haven't noticed this in pornos. Maybe you're just reaching for the wrong genre shelf?

As a sissy cuckold myself, I know well that not all cucks are sissies. I am not so sure that it can be said, however, that not all cuckold fetishists are submissives. The thrill is the key, not the behavior.

Fetish definitions are necessarily arbitrary in the face of the endless variety that is human sexuality, but my understanding of the cuckold fetish is that it is defined by some element of masochism on the part of the "husband." Husband is in quotations for a good reason, because in fetish usage (as opposed to legal usage, for instance) a cuckold need not be male or married or (in some usage) even in an intimate relationship with the person in question. What is more defining is that the cuckold gets a thrill out of being left our, passed over, cheated on, etc. That's a form of psychological and/or emotional masochism so that makes the cuckold a sub in my book.

That does not mean that the cuckold is necessarily into femdom generally, or BDSM accoutrement like collars and chains, Nor does it mean they are into feminization or other kinds of emasculation. But they are subs, nonetheless.

On the other hand, a man can be totally into watching his wife have sex with other men (or women) but NOT be a cuckold. If his thrill is voyeuristic, or some transgression that is not related to fidelity and masculine prerogative, then he (or she) is not a cuckold. They might be called a swinger, or a voyeur, or any of a dozen labels, but not, accurately, a cuckold.

Again, the libidinous thrill is the key, not the external behavior--its what you feel, not what you do that defines fetish.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Any man whose wife has sex outside the marriage is a cuckold. The definition is straightforward, and doesn't include masochism or submis/sion. The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

Domination and submis/sion are a different fetish altogether, as are humil/iation, masochism, crossdressing, bimale, interracial, etc. One CAN add those other fetishes to cuckolding as they wish. But there's no requirement that any other kinks must be combined with cuckolding.

FetLife has some very good threads on this, including many threads on Alpha Cucks (which I am). Alpha cucks share their wives, but do so without any hint of submis/sion, humil/iation or masochism. Some do it from a Dom/sub perspective, some are voyeurs, and others just love to share. But the bottom line is that everyone whose wife fucks someone else, in any context, falls under the broad umbrella of cuckold.
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

How very tiresome. Here I take the time to define my terms, making clear (I thought) that I am speaking of the fetish of cuckolding, which is a privileged usage of the word, and distinguish that from the general, common, strict, or traditional ways in which the word can be understood, and yet you harangue me with a basic dictionary definition? Was I really so unclear? If so, I apologize.

I am fascinated by your rigid pedantry in categorizing fetishes; you are so desperately insistent! As I said, my view is that categories and definitions of fetish and kink are necessarily a bit arbitrary. Language cannot entirely express the nuance of human sexual expression. Again, though, you seem to have misunderstood me. My point was that I think cuckolding IS a BDSM fetish because the psycho-sexual thrill of it is a masochistic one. So, clearly, my definition of fetish cuckolding and yours are different.

But what fascinates me is why you don't just say that -- something like "I disagree with you about what cuckolding is," rather than ignore the substance of what I said in favor of a peremptory declarative statement? Did you really not follow what I was saying? Or are you trying to say something else? To be candid, your reply seems to me a bit confrontational, which I find both irritating and head-scratching.

My definition is based on what I have seen, experienced, and studied about how people use the term in fetishism and how I interpret the psych and sex research, but usage is always evolving and I'm not king of the world. As an autonomy, "Alpha Cuck" strikes me as the most hilarious example of awkward defensiveness I've heard in a long time, but if enough people over at FetLife take it up for long enough, then usage will change. And that will be fine by me. But so far, I really haven't heard anyone use it but you and I've been in this lifestyle a long time. But I'll keep a lookout for it.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

That's where you run astray. Consistent words and definitions are the cornerstone of every language. Choosing to arbitrarily redefine a common term based on personal interpretation undermines the very fabric of language-based communication.

It's really quite simple. A dog is a dog. The definition is universally recognized and consistent. There is no privileged use of the word dog that has a different meaning. People do not choose to redefine dog or make a "personal interpretation" of the definition, based on what they've "seen, experienced and studied". Personal experiences have no bearing on definitions of words in the English language. Personal interpretations are irrelevant.

So my response to your post remains intact. A man cannot watch his wife have sex with someone, and NOT be a cuckold. The very fact that she's having sex with someone is what makes the husband a cuckold.

Sorry if you don't like it, but shooting the messenger won't change the English language. Merriam-Webster is the widely accepted source. Take it up with them: The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

SheDatesHeWaits

*Sigh*

From: The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

Prescriptive vs. descriptive[edit]
Lexicographers apply two basic philosophies to the defining of words: prescriptive or descriptive. Noah Webster, intent on forging a distinct identity for the American language, altered spellings and accentuated differences in meaning and pronunciation of some words. This is why American English now uses the spelling color while the rest of the English-speaking world prefers colour. (Similarly, British English subsequently underwent a few spelling changes that did not affect American English; see further at American and British English spelling differences.)[22]

Large 20th-century dictionaries such as the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) and Webster's Third are descriptive, and attempt to describe the actual use of words. Most dictionaries of English now apply the descriptive method to a word's definition, and then, outside of the definition itself, add information alerting readers to attitudes which may influence their choices on words often considered vulgar, offensive, erroneous, or easily confused.[23] Merriam-Webster is subtle, only adding italicized notations such as, sometimes offensive or nonstand (nonstandard). American Heritage goes further, discussing issues separately in numerous "usage notes." Encarta provides similar notes, but is more prescriptive, offering warnings and admonitions against the use of certain words considered by many to be offensive or illiterate, such as, "an offensive term for..." or "a taboo term meaning...".

Because of the widespread use of dictionaries in schools, and their acceptance by many as language authorities, their treatment of the language does affect usage to some degree, with even the most descriptive dictionaries providing conservative continuity. In the long run, however, the meanings of words in English are primarily determined by usage, and the language is being changed and created every day.[24] As Jorge Luis Borges says in the prologue to "El otro, el mismo": "It is often forgotten that (dictionaries) are artificial repositories, put together well after the languages they define. The roots of language are irrational and of a magical nature."

To say that:


is an ideological position, not a statement of fact and far from an accurate statement about the world.

Your strange misapprehension of my statement to suggest that my view was all about "personal experience" suggests to me you are missing my points entirely, so I'll turn to more articulate folks:

"Most of the little manuals which pretend to regulate our use of our own language and to declare what is and what is not good English are grotesque in their ignorance; and the best of them are of small value, because they are prepared on the assumption that the English language is dead, like the Latin, and that, like Latin again, its usage is fixed finally. Of course this assumption is as far as possible from the fact. The English language is alive now—very much alive. And because it is alive it is in a constant state of growth. It is developing daily according to its needs. It is casting aside words and usages that are no longer satisfactory; it is adding new terms as new things are brought forward; and it is making new usages, as convenience suggests, short-cuts across lots, and to the neglect of the five-barred gates rigidly set up by our ancestors." (Brander Matthews, Parts of Speech: Essays on English, 1901)

or more recent:

"The present-day scholarly concept of usage as a social consensus based on the practices of the educated middle class has emerged only within the last century. For many people, however, the views and aims of the 17th-18c fixers of the language continue to hold true: they consider that there ought to be a single authority capable of providing authoritative guidance about 'good' and 'bad' usage. For them, the model remains that of the Greek and Latin, and they have welcomed arbiters of usage such as Henry Fowler who have based their prescriptions on this model. In spite of this . . ., no nation in which English is a main language has yet set up an official institution to monitor and make rules about usage. New words, and new senses and uses of words, are not sanctioned or rejected by the authority of any single body: they arise through regular use and, once established, are recorded in dictionaries and grammars. This means that, with the classical model of grammar in rapid decline, the users of English collectively set the standards and priorities that underlie all usage." (Robert Allen, "Usage." The Oxford Companion to the English Language, ed. T. McArthur. Oxford University Press, 1992)

The use of the word cuckolding to refer to a sexual fetish is recent and common to a relatively narrow segment of English users. (It is also about an "alternative" sexual practice, a facet which has been shown to slow absorption into dictionaries.) This sense of the word may not yet have hit the dictionaries yet (particularly the MW Learners, which is really a dumbed down dictionary primarily used by ESL students in my observation. Whoops, I forgot, you deny the epistemological value of personal experience, Cogito, ergo, so what?).

Words do not have simple meanings, they exist in the context of their usage. That is why defining terms is a fundamental rule of scholarship. When words are used in a specific sense or way, that is called "privileged usage" or "privileged sense" to distinguish it from the number of other ways someone might use that word. Without such an understanding of the way or the sense in which a word is being used, clear communication becomes difficult (perhaps impossible.) This is especially true for a word like "cuckold," which is rich and layered in cultural contexts, allusive uses, and connotations, but it is true even of a simple noun like your example "dog."

Let's imagine that there is an industrial facility, like a railyard or factory, where a piece of equipment is called "the dog" for whatever (perhaps forgotten) reasons. When the workers there refer to "the dog" or "dogs" or just "dog" being at this or that place or doing such and such a task, or performing above or below some par bar, they are NOT referring to a canine mammal. In their context, "dog" refers to a specific piece of machinery and is therefore a privileged usage of the noun "dog." If this term for this piece of machinery becomes widespread - say at other facilities that use it or because it becomes famous from some muckrakers novel about the facility - dictionaries will begin to sprout another little number under their entry for the word "dog." Because dictionaries follow what you deceptively label "personal definitions" and not the other way around.

On the best evidence I have - which is significant (but not exhaustive) reading of social science scholarship, the very wide reading of cuckold subculture narratives, and (I'm sorry) my own personal decades of experience with people who self-identify as cuckold fetishists and/or are affiliated with the fetish subculture, I have observed distinctions in how they use the term from how it is used in traditional English literature, the law, or the news media. For instance: In the fetish sense a "cuckold" need not be either male nor married, they are not deceived or aggrieved by their partner's sexual license, most of all, they are sexually aroused by it. None of these would be true for the traditional use of the word. As many people have pointed out, every single cuckold fetishist is more properly describes as a "wittol," because cuckolds were traditionally assumed to be un/willing in and resistant to their arrangement. Likewise, a woman whose husband stepped out" would be termed a "cuckquean," etc. etc. All of these special divergences that reflect how the term is used in fetish define the "privileged use" or a term that might mean something very different in another context.

But, as I said, I am not the king of the world. There may be all kinds of things I don't know about how the word is used by different people in different places. (For instance, many folks on this site are not even Anglophones: I wonder, do you consider those people, from very different cultures, to be bound by your definition from the Learner's dictionary?) Also, as i say, usage is changing all the time. If enough of these so-called "alpha cucks" self identify as cuckolds over time, the fetish usage will change. And as I said, that will be OK by me.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

TL/DR. Take it up with Websters. Shall we consider our banter to be concluded...?
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

I have nothing to take-up with Morse and his team at MW. They do a great job. They can hardly be held responsible for people like you who misuse their products.

What I remain curious about is why you did so. Was it really honest ignorance of what a dictionary is, what it is for and how language and usage work? Or was it simply an attempt to shout down an opinipn you didn't like through a dishonest appeal to authority? I had come to suspect dishonesty, but your "too long didn't read" note suggests you're just out of your depth.

If the later is true, I do hope you'll find the time to read my post and delve into the subject. Not understanding the basics of inquiry and serious discussion will be a major handicap to you in life, so you should really address it now.

Besides, I am genuinely curious. I am interested in why people pick fights on the Internet generally and I find it fascinating that ypu describe what I would call a clear, albeit failed, attempt to bully me as "banter." (Seriously, is it face saving? Guilt remitting?)
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

MrsBlackBlowupDoll

Well stated, MBBD!
..............PSEUDO PERSON...YMMV!

True. I wonder why people like you take a perfectly clear, succinct, well-recognized definition and attempt to distort it into THEIR personal definition based on personal wishes, and then start arguments about why others are wrong who recognize and respect the true meaning. Your experience is unique to you. Nobody cares. I have as much experience as you, but none of my experience changes the English language. TL/DR means I don't care to read yet another tainted, self-serving, feeble attempt to justify your particular version of cuckolding, and push it onto others as your new, personal definition.

Those who claim privileged use of a word to randomly redefine it are not only misusing the product of Merriam Webster, they pollute the entire basis for language communication in doing so.

You're correct. Webster's does an excellent job of providing us with definitions. Read it this time: The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker

Oh, I read it the first time, which is more courtesy then you've shown me. I can only assume you still haven't read my earlier reply because you now falsely accuse me of trying to "distort" definitions for my "personal agenda," which would be deeply dishonest of you if you had read the post. I prefer to assume that you are simply rude and misguided - continuing to write without feeling obliged to read.

By the way, you might want to look up definition 6 of Projection in your MW Learner's. After all, you who are the one privileging your personally preferred definitions over everyone else's based on your experience, not me. (For one thing, I've never argued that my definition was right, only that you couldn't delegitimize it through a fallacious appeal to the alleged authority of the MW Learner's dictionary.) The heart of our disagreement (beyond your poor manners) is that I think the fetish and psych community decide their meanings and definitions themselves through usage and you think that the editors of your beloved MW Learner's Dictionary dictate it to them from their offices.

Speaking of reading, did you by chance read the preface to the MW Learner's? I quote:

"True fluency in any language, of course, is not acquired by memorizing dictionary definitions but by hearing and seeing how words are used in combinations with each other to express meaning."

The preface also makes clear that the Learner's was "created specifically to meet the needs" of its target audience of "learners of English as a second or foreign language" and therefore "the definitions in this dictionary are written in simple language," focusing on words and usage "people are most likely to need and encounter in their daily lives."

In other words, the Learner's Dictionary uses simplified, not hyper-accurate, nuance, or strict, definitions of words based on the most common colloquial usage a foreign language speaker is likely to encounter. A worthy publication; but a strange one to cite as the ultimate authority for how the word is used by the psychological field or the sexual fetish subculture.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

So that would be a privileged usage then? Because most reference works would define that as "Too Long/Didn't Read." Thank you for defining the term so that I can understand what you meant and not misinterpret it by the light of common usage.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Uh-huh. But, again, why the MW Learner's?

The Learner's definition of cuckold diverges from those most commonly found in English dictionaries in key ways. Consider for example, the OED, generally regarded as the most authoritative:

"A derisive name for the husband of an unfaithful wife."

Or the Random House Unabridged, regarded as the most complete of the U.S. dictionaries.

"The husband of an unfaithful wife"

Or the highly regarded Cambridge:

"A man whose wife deceives him by having a sexual relationship with another man"

Or even a different publisher's learner's (The Oxford Advanced Learner's):

"The husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision."

Or even a Merriam-Webster designed for native speakers:

"A man whose wife is unfaithful."

(all above emphasis mine)

The simplified definition of the MW Learner's for ESL students omits the key concepts that the word is an insult and that the situation is non-consensual. This second nuance is why, as many have pointed out, cuckold, in the dictionary sense isn't even appropriate to us fetishists, who are instead wittols (look it up). But we call ourselves cuckolds anyway because we like the fact that it is demeaning and/or that it suggests compulsion rather than free choice. That would be, if you still aren't following, a privileged usage (and not one invented by me) in that it is specific to the fetish sense of the word.

This is not to say that the other dictionaries are correct and your favorite is wrong. Perhaps the MW Learner's definition is better or more up to date? But only by [u]privileging[/u] the MW Learner's above other dictionaries can you even get to your ill-advised position of [u]privileging[/u] their idiosyncratic (and self-admittedly basic and common) definition of cuckold over observed, specific, real world usage of the word when it pertains to the sexual fetish.

It all looks to me like you chose a single published source which had the very unusual definition you agreed with and decided to:



Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Again, you miss (or evade?) the point. The experience I refer to is my experience reading and hearing the English language. I refer to my experience precisely to note its limit. I can only speak to what I observe, whereas you appear to ascribe to the MW Learner's a power beyond that of mere mortals. But while the observations are mine, the usage and definitions you object to are not. I know you aren't much for extensive research or evidence, so I'll limit myself to a few characteristic examples to demonstrate:

Here is a well-credentialed and respected mental health professional, Stephen J. Betchen, a popular writer whose views typify the psych research on this topic:

"Cuckolding can also be mixed with other non-monogamous relationship arrangements with which it has substantial overlap such as swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Again, it is distinguished from these concepts in that cuckold's thrill in their partner's acts is specifically masochistic."

Betchen goes on to summarize the fetish thus:

1. Variant of masochism: The cuckold derives pleasure from being humiliated; the cuckoldress from humiliating.
2. Freud (1922): Cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity, and of failure in the male's competition for procreation and the affection of females.
3. Baumeister (1989), in his book Masochism and the Self: A form of escapism in otherwise mentally healthy people. Cuckold fetishists are relieving themselves of the stress of the burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less-expansive position.
4. Freud and Baumeister agreed that the cuckold fetishist seeks pleasure both from the act of being humiliated and by giving pleasure to his lover(s). But cuckolding can be summed up psychologically as "distributing sexual hum/iliation to the cuckold."

Again, nothing says that Betchen or the psychological sciences are right about any of this, but this is what THEY mean when they use the word, not an "attempt to justify" anything by me.

Here is the definition of the word that appears on the fetish community website Kinkly:

"Cuckold, when used in a fetish context, describes the fetish of men who find masochistic pleasure in watching their wives have sex with other men. The man is complicit in the infidelity and often helps arrange the meetings. The couple need not necessarily be married, but there needs to be some kind of commitment between the two."

And here are a few words from the influential syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage:

"The whole "cuckolding thing" is about the female half of a heterosexual couple breaking the rules and then rubbing her partner's nose in the evidence of her cheating. (Some cuckolds get off on literally having their noses rubbed in the evidence.) Cuckolding is eroticized betrayal..."

I know you will object that the only way I know that any of this is because I have read the articles – in other words, it is personal experience which doesn't count beside the holy and inerrant text of the MW Learner's Dictionary – but perhaps you will at least grant that it isn't MY personal definition of the word, but widely held definitions (by other dictionaries, by the psychological sciences, by the fetish community, etc.) that you are so frustrated by.

As I have said multiple times, I am not the king of the world. I don't claim that my observations about usage are definitive. I don't claim that usage must, should, or will stay the same. Take your coinage "alpha cuck;" to me, it seems like an unnecessary attempt to rebrand the well-established paraphilia/fetish of Candaulism (look it up), but as I have said, if it catches on, that will be fine by me. Because I'm not the one pushing a lexicographical agenda here: you are.
Pantalone, Wittol, oblate, abnegator, fellator, pathic, irrumatiophile,fop, epicene, cotquean, skivvy, thrall, and pilgarlic.

Impossible. Any man whose wife has sex with another man is himself a cuckold.

1 cuckold /ˈkʌkəld/ noun
plural cuckolds
Learner's definition of CUCKOLD
[count] old-fashioned
: a man whose wife has sex with someone else
: a man's whose wife commits adultery
cuckold - Pronunciation - kuk-uhld - noun 1) The husband of an unfaithful wife. 2) A husband whose wife has sex with others. NOTE - It does NOT say: Sexually confused, submissive, humiliated, sissified, crossdresser, cocksucker, or piss drinker