a rookie question

Hello there,
So I am not in a cuckold(ing?) relationship, and I don't know if I will ever be - not voluntarily that is. Obviously, the idea has been intriguing to me to a certain extent (otherwise why am I even visiting this forum?) but I just can't imagine at this point that I will ever get into it for real. Now, my wife and I are both professionals in our 40's. The thing that bothers me is that our sex life is going downhill. I guess it's not that untypical for couples that are married for a long time, and there are certainly reasons I can use to try to explain away why things are as they are. BUT, I just can't shake off the thought that by some slight chance she might be getting some outside of the house? So my question to you all experienced is - how can you tell if she is indeed getting it from another guy? Do you have experience to share in how you found out that your wife was seeing someone behind your back? I don't want to confront her (it just doesn't seem reasonable and I could predict fairly certainly what answer I would get). Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts and experience!

Testing, just my opinion... follow your gut... If you really believe your lady is ******** with another man then trust yourself.... Then you have 2 options...Love it or leave it... that's all.

Check her panties and the bathroom trash can. When my wife would screw someone else she would fold up tissue and put it in her panties to catch any drippings that may leak out. She would often get careless and forget to flush the tissue or sometimes just throw it in the trash can. One time to fuck with her I saved all her tissues for a couple weeks and then arranged them around the trash can.

Thanks, i122. that's helpful. I'll try and see if I can find any pattern or "solid evidence" there. I rarely pay attention to that kind of thing, assuming it's just a personal hygiene issue. I am sure there are more of you out there who could provide insights but I understand this forum moves pretty slowly so I'll be patient. Thanks again.

That is some good investigation tips you're getting from a couple of experienced members above. The sure way if you REALLY want to know is to hire a private eye. Then what? Are you prepared to deal with it? Are you ready to accept your new role, or would you end the marriage, or perhaps give her another chance? You need to consider how far you are willing to go, otherwise just pretend it is not happening. There are those who think that what we don't know can't hurt us. Think about the possibilities and the ultimate outcome. Remember that all is well that ends well. In my particular case at least, becoming an accepting cuckold was a very positive thing for me, for my wife, and for her lucky bulls. Before it actually happened no one could have convinced me that it would turn out that way but go figure, it did. Life can be very deceptive. Enjoy the present for there may not be a tomorrow. Good luck with all of it.

Thanks for sharing the wisdom, Juanito. Can you share your experience in more detail? Or maybe you have already somewhere on this forum. If so, can you point it to me? I am hoping to learn from others' experience as well as their advice.

testing, what you haven't said is whether or not you would be happy to discover your wife was indeed fucking another guy - well?

kennyboy, I don't know what to think. Insecure and humiliated are the immediate feeling I guess. But in my fantasy, I might be turned on if she's fucking an attractive guy who's willing to let me be part of the game, but turned off if it's some rude bastard who sets out to break a family. Again, it's my wild fantasy or deepest dark secrete no one would ever know but your guys!

So your saying a) ur sex life right now sucks b) your wife may be fucking someone else and c) although you'd be hurt you may also be turned on by the idea. What I would do is tell her about your fantasy. Tell her it's not something you'd be comfortable with right now, but you'd like to have her tease you as if she were fucking someone. Ask her if she's ever thought about other guys. Have her tell u what her fantasy affair would be like, etc. if you enjoy the teasing as much as the rest of us do you can ask her to take it to the next level. She may or may not tell you she already has. I guess my point is, before doing something stupid that may break up your marriage (even though your wife may not be doing anyone), find out if it really would bother you if she were. Encourage your wife to have fantasies and to share them with you, but not necessarily act on them until you r both ready. Don't b afraid to talk to her, after all she is ur wife, right?

There are a lot of mixed emotions inside your head when you first learn of your wife cuckolding you. Maybe you have fantasized about it, but you are actually scared about the reality. Do a lot of soul searching and then decide. Remember that many of us were regular macho type guys, jealous when another man would even look at our wife, yet we went around 180 degrees to actually trying to find bulls she would like so they can fuck her with our approval. I had during sex confessed my fantasies to my wife. I could see how hot it made her to fantasize about another man. My wife once just wanted to test my reaction and just in case wrote on piece of paper: "What I'm about to confess to you is a total fabrication and it didn't happen. I just want to see if you can really deal with it". She never showed me that paper until after she had confessed to an affair with a guy at work. My reaction turned out positive, and I wanted all the details which at that time involved only a hand job during lunch hour in the parking lot. She said he was huge and wanted to go all the way, but wanted my approval before she could do something like that. When she saw how hot (in a good way) it made me, and how I encouraged her to go farther, she decided to really go for it and then gave him a blow job during lunch hour for real plus she made a date on a Friday night to go to his place and fuck him. She did not show me the paper note until it was over. She had mailed it to herself so it would have a post mark date on it and I could see when she wrote it. She then handed me the sealed envelope. It had been her insurance that she would not loose me if I didn't react favorably, that she could tell me she really had not done anything but was just testing the waters. As it turned out she turned me into her cuckold, and although I didn't know it a t the time she had previously had an affair with a friend of mine several years before but never told me until we were into the cuckold relationship. By that time my friend had got married and lived in another state. It's an evolution process we must all go through. You can survive it, thrive and enjoy it if your relationship is such that you are ready to love her no matter what. Good luck and enjoy! You only live once!!

I do sense that imaging involving another guy in our bedroom excites her (and me!), but neither of us would even dare to bring it up explicitly, so as you can see we are a long way away from the lifestyle. Thanks for sharing your experience and for your advice. It is a fascinating idea (incredibly arousing to me) that I could share her with an attractive guy with a larger dick. She's never been stretched as far as I know but I may be wrong.

Your imagination can be a wonderful thing. Before I became a cuckold we had purchased a very realistic 8" dildo, raised veins and all. During lovemaking I would pretend, and I would ask my wife to also pretend that it was her lover who had come to fuck her in my presence and with my approval. We even named the dildo with one of her old boyfriend's name who had been her first fuck and had also been about 8" and thick. I would then place her hand on the dildo once I inserted it and I would begin whispering in her ear, telling her "It's ok, baby, you can fuck him...show daddy what a hot girl you are...fuck him sweetheart...you look beautiful fucking him, baby, I love you....fuck him, fuck him hard baby" As I would say these things into her ear she would become hotter and hotter and would begin to fuck herself furiously with the dildo until she would finally cum very hard, stiffening her entire body in spasms. She would say stuff like: "Dam it, baby, what are you doing to me?...you'd better watch out and stop this or I'm going to find a real guy with a big cock like this and you're going to have to accept it...don't worry we'll let you watch". I would then tell her, "Any time you're ready, baby, go for it...just make sure I know about it". It was baby steps on our way to the lifestyle. Remember that a journey of a thousand miles begins with your first step. Good luck and enjoy!

testing

registration date 24 Dec 2006
first post 27 May 2014

No wisdom like silence

First do not go looking for trouble where there might not be a fire.
Remember this 40+ is the time of sexual change for most people. Men do dumb things, buy a sports car etc.
Men's testosterone starts to go down. Women's Hormones also go down.
This is a natural process and requires a visit to the Doctors to have it checked out.

Talk to your wife first and simple subject. Just ask.

"Have you noticed our sex life is not as active?"

It will open up a lot of possibilities.