Why does she make me work so hard for something she enjoys so much?

I have been into this lifestyle for sometime now. My wife has fucked several other men at my urging. She ended up having regular things with a couple of them. Sometimes I've watched and sometimes it was just her and her lover. I enjoy both scenarios. I love to see her please and be pleased by another man and I also love to examine and lick her used pussy while she gives me the details of her adventure. While some men and experiences have been better than others they have always been good. Every time both she and her lover have climaxed. Many times she has had multiple orgasms and sometimes her lovers have cum more than once. She made 1 young lover cum 5 times in one day! 3 times in her pussy and twice in her mouth! Most recently she had a short regular thing with a bbc and she actually took charge making arrangements with him and only telling me after fucking him. I enjoyed that very much! Her last bbc was 9 inches (I'm 5.5") and stretched her pussy quite a bit! I saw them fuck once and when she climbed on him and finally got all of him in she started cum and came nonstop until she climbed off! I know I feel smaller to her now because she feels looser to me! I know how lucky I am to have a wife willing to make these fantasies come true and I appreciate her very much. I'm just frustrated and confused because them more she seems to enjoy doing this the harder it is to get her to continue. We have been married 25 years and have a very good understanding that her sex with others is an extension of our love life. I have no desire to enjoy others and have no issues of jealousy about her encounters. In fact it is my wish one that she is very aware of to see her have the best sex of her life with another man. Preferably a black man. My ultimate fantasy is for her to have an ongoing exclusive relationship with a bbc. We have discussed this and it seems to turn her on very much. I believe if we find the right guy this will happen if he too wants it. Anybody else have this same issue? Any advice or ideas that have worked for others. I long to clean my wifes loose creampied pussy every day! She loves sex and loves when I clean her. I can make the horse take but I can't lead it to water! Help!