my fantsy evolution

Over the years there has been a gradual evolution in my thoughts towards cuckolding.
It all began over 20 years ago when a girlfriend of the time dumped me for a black man. Although I’m only 4 inches hard up until that time I’d never really seem myself as small or submissive. Having her tell everyone that I was too small to satisfy her changed everything. My anger and shame soon changed to a feeling of sexual excitement at not being man enough to please her.

About a year after she’d dumped me I had another experience which would prove life changing. It all began one night when I was pissed. I was out with a mate and suggested to him that we have a wank together. At first he wasn’t too sure, but as he was also quite takes he finally agreed. As it was a nice summers evening and quite dark we went up a mountain to carry out the deed. We both got our cocks out and I saw that he was much bigger than me. About 7 inches and a lot fatter. I came within seconds, and at his request I began to wank his throbbing dick. Unfortunately when he asked me to wrap my gums around his bell end I cuckolds brownie out and ran away. All these years I’ve regretted doing this, and so wished I’d carried out his request.

A few later when I got married to another girl these submissive thoughts still remained. If anything as the years went by these thoughts grew stronger and stronger with each passing years.

I’ve spent much of the last 20 years reading wife watching and cuckold stories as a result. First in porn magazines and later on the internet. My favourite stories always involved plots where a poorly endowed husband is not only humiliated but also forcibly feminized ( my ex girlfriend use to like me to dress in her red suspenders and stockings when we had sex). As a result I also began to dress in women’s underwear. Items I bought myself, later when I got married items from my wife, and even ones I’ve stolen from my lady-in-law. Black suspenders with matching stockings, bra and panties are my favourite. I like black best as I think it a way of showing respect to the superior black race.

Whenever I look at porn films I always tend to focus on the black men, and especially on their cocks. I love it when a white woman is sucking them off. Cumming over their face or shooting his spunk down their throat. I often like to imagine that I am that woman paying homage to those big black cocks.

As the years went by the biggest turn on for me was not being cuckolded by another man but actually being humiliated and dominated by him. The act of him fucking my wife became replaced with thoughts of sucking his cock whilst dressed as a sissy. Being on my knees dressed in stockings and suspenders whilst my wife looked on became my ultimate fantasy.

So there we have it my cuckold thoughts have now evolved purely in cock sucking ones. I bet my ex would be having a good laugh if she knew dumping me all those years ago and humiliating me in the process has changed me into a cross dressing sissy cock sucking wannbe.