Non-fiction -Cucks from a Psychological Point of View.

Like to start a thread for anyone interested in delving deep into the heart and mind of a cuck from a psychological point of view. Many of us are diverse and complex. I for one am still trying to figure out why I tick a certain way. I have a strong need to understand all the why’s..??

I am sure there are some that have been cucks for a short period of time, others live the lifestyle off and on and some live as a cuck for years. I invite all of you and Cuckoldresses who truly understand the complexities of our deepest desires to share your insights, psychology and thoughts.

Basically a Q&A.

Let me start off with the first question that has been on my mind for years.

I have read here and other sites that many cucks are not present while the wife is with her Bull. For some reamister the thought of this to me is unbearable. To me it would seem more like an affair than being cucked, if I was not there. It would drive me nuts to be by myself while she is out getting fucked. I know some cucks get phone calls and listen that way. But I am not sure I could even handle that. I simply could not ‘risk’ the loss of my wife to another. So this is obviously a control issue I have, even though I try hard to be a submissive in my relationship, with my wife.

On the other hand the wife may not want the husband there because she cannot relax or the Bull might not be able to perform (get it up and keep it up) with some hubby lurking in the midst?

But for me I need to be there. I need to see the face of my wife enjoying another man cock more than mine. I need to see her lovers larger cock being engulfed by my wife pussy and hearing her have orgasms. I need her to look at me while she is enjoying herself knowing that she is comparing me to him and lets me know how much more a real mans cock feels so much better than mine and that I can never please her and this is the reamister why she fucks other guys. Anyways you get the picture. Total Humiliation.

The funny part is that I don’t get jealous. Actually I am sexually satisfied mentally. I truly desire the feeling of sexual offense. I don’t know where this comes from. I wish I knew why?

After the event I can go on with life like nothing ever happened BUT if I was NOT there it would drive me insanely jealous and I would be worried that my wife was cheating on me behind my back. A fear of betrayal would always be present in the back of my mind.

Can anyone share some insight or if you have similar feelings, let me know. Or if anyone has other questions please ask those as well whether they are related to this question or not.
Cuck
W

you should try perhaps a little letting go, you may learn a lot about trust and love.
the offense aspect though does not tickle my fancy ,however my wife likes to belittle me @ times...so i indulge her

Thanks for that. Been married for over 20 years. I think I am past the trust part. Lets face it; one thing that I have learned is that my wife is capable of things I never imagined. Just when you think you know someone you find out that you really never knew them at all. Time changes people.

But I know that even if my wife were to stray it would be only temporary. Its hard to give up 20 years of lifes experiences with someone. The level of trust and love after this many years cannot be duplicated by a brief or semi-long term romance. It takes the same amount of years to regain the place-of-trust that took so long to earn, to begin with.

Mature relationships tend to understand this...Big losses for each party. However since most marriages dont last but a few years these days, if that, one never experiences the true value of long-term love and commitment. Therefore Big losses are not realized.

I guess maybe I need to be there because if I am not then I will miss out on the type of love I desire from her...sexual offense. To have her come home and give me all the details is not the same as watching the movie in real time, I guess. Maybe it appeals to my masochistic side.

Any comments?

Waystar:

I had an interesting read over your queries, and the answers are far too involved to be simply put. But to help you out, I am a psychologist with an active interest in this field and I fully understand the position you come from.

It has to be broken down into smaller chunks because there is so much going on with you as a permister let alone anything else thrown in. I attribute no fault to you, so don't think the spotlight is on you alone; it is only shining to illuminate the darkness to get the answers out into the open.

Imagine a stew. It has many ingredients. What you are looking for is the original recipie that formulated the stew. You also need to know who the chef is that used that recipe.

You are one of the ingredients, not the chef, so bearing that in mind, you could examine and over analyse the other ingredients but as you have already figured out, your question lies in what it all comes from, not what it makes in the end.

Recipe & Chef. That's the formula that made the situation you are now in, in your mind. We need to go back to a formative time in your development to initialise the process, so take into consideration Family & Environment. I'm not a Freudian, but in there lie the foundation blocks there that paved the way towards your future at that time which has now become your present.

Take that as step 1.

If you want a private 1-2-1, PM me through here and I'll disclose my email, and we can do this privately. We can help each other, and no I don't charge!

Always remember that physiological, as well as psychological powers, tend to colour our thoughts to make us think and behave in such ways that contradict ourselves that cause confusion. cuckoldry works in many ways and on many levels, but the end result is our own sexual gratification at the core.

PM me anytime
S

god...this has dogged me for so many years its not funny. I am 42yo and been cucked before...and it always does and has over ridden my sexual thoughts. I originally put it down to the fact my man used to cheat on my lady, and it destroyed her emotionally over the years...all i saw was my lady crying over a bottle of gin....knowing why my man wasn't home from work even as it got late at night...and so for me as a 4 -7 yo seeing the most important permister in the world being torn apart...

on the other hand she would constantly nag him and basically drive him mad...so i think i came up with a solution in my own head even as a youngster. It was a sort of self defence mechanism...that i knew monogamy didn't work for most and resulted in deceit...plus i knew i would never want to hurt my partner like my lady was...so when i discovered the cuckold world...it made sense in every sense of the world to me.

In my late teens/early twenties i was incredibly jealous if anyone layed eyes on my hot gf then to become my wife...but by my late twenties...its all that turned me on. She was never really up for it...and i fell for a woman who was the sluttiest thing i ever met. Obviously...once she was over me...she cheated on me and left me for another guy. I am at the moment with a girl who is really turned on by the lifestyle...so who knows where it will go.

But it has just about done my head in trying to work out why i love this lifestyle and being humiliated with it...as i am the most genuine alpha male you will ever meet.

If you ever have tim to chat Shamusx...would love to find out more about it and myself!

Just a quick note slinky67, because I got to travel for the weekend. I found a lot of circle chasing in your queries, but rather simple to cut through. Don't feel bad, the key to solving the riddle lies within your last sentence;

But it has just about done my head in trying to work out why i love this lifestyle and being humiliated with it...as i am the most genuine alpha male you will ever meet.



The last part is giving the game away, even when you yourself look objectively (if you can) at the statement will see that you have associated offense with shame, thus giving you a guilt complex that's never ending.

A: You have an interest in the lifestyle = Kinky = Fairly healthy.

B: You have previous family problems based on holy water and sex = Humiliation = Feelings of shame

C: Result = never ending circle of sexually based offense in aduilt life.

For you the formula is A times B = C, and subconsciously you respond to that so it manifests itself in your relationships. When it happens you are very happy, but it never lasts.

This is because a healthy kinky experience is mixed with powerful emotions from the past that rules or dictates the current rules of play in your mind and sexual games.

You need to seperate the issues and come up with a simpler formula for your lifestyle to work.

You can love the lifestyle and negate the past by exploring what's going on in your background, and continue to love the lifestyle. When that happens you wont believe the release you will have in all aspects of your life.

I'll be back after the weekend. Think on!
S

Shamusx, I would love to chat but i am new and haven't deciphered how to pm another member. I have thought about this for years, drawn by a desire to see my wife pleased and a lot of fem/sissy thoughts driven by feelings of a need for presentation to an alpha male. I am preparing to talk to my wife soon.

I also understand the others thoughts, especially WayStar. I feel a need to witness it.

Curiousinct regarding PM ing. All you need to do is to click on the little envelope beside the user name Shamusx to PM.

Hope this helps

I would really be careful about how you approach your wife with this. It can really backfire in many ways. I know this because I did it in all the wrong ways and now it has caused major issues in my marriage.

So if you need suggestions in that regard you can PM or post on this forum thread.

I remember 17 years ago with my wife. You know after about the second year of marriage when you start getting busy with life and sex seems to happen more out of duty than devotion?

I remember that I would ask my wife to give me a blowjob with her on all fours and her back arched, ass high in the air...in a doggy style position. Then I would ask her to rock her ass back and forth. I would close my eyes, sit on my hands as if they were bound and imagine my wife being fucked by a stud with a bigger harder cock than mine and her loving it.

I felt the bed rocking, as I asked her to jerk herself as if she was getting pounded from behind. This always brought me to orgasm immediately.

For many years I did this and my wife never really knew why and still to this day I too am trying to figure that one out. This certainly was not the beginning of thoughts like this but this is when I realized something was very different about me. Even wrong and shameful. It’s been a battle between what is immoral and what is moral depending on the standard of measure I use.

With regards to Shamusx’s very impressive post and a very generous offer, which I must say took me unexpectedly. I am still thinking about your propositions.

I need to ask myself some serious questions. Like, do I want to take off my masks? Do I really want to find a cure? Do I want to dig into my horrible past and let out all the skeletons in my closet(s)? Do I want to take a risk with someone unknown on this site? Will I open up other doors I don’t want to be tempted by?

Yes these and many more are fears of the unknown. I am a huge risk taker though. That’s how I got here in the first place<grin> But I am a also little wiser…hmm what to do..

my apologies if i offended, i meant not to in any way detract from your accomplishment in life...
my comment is based on the interpretation of your word choice and arrangement ...
however, i can certainly appreciate the all cats are grey perspectives
given by the wonderful Dr Se'uss .

Yep, I too have a great need to be able to watch, be there.

Great topic, for years I wanted to be cuckolded, amazingly last October it became clear that my wife of 20 years wanted to relax with other guys. We were virgins when we met.

Of course we came to an arragement whereby she is allowed to see other men. The problaem is she won;t tell me anything, she taeses and taunts me with boyfriend comments and jokes, but will not confirm either way if she has or hasnt done anything. She tells me that she will never tell me.

So I am kind of torn, on the one hand it is very erotic not knowing and wondering all the time, where is she? is she with a guy? has she done it etc etc. but on teh other hand I really want to know and would love to watch her in action with someone.

No No offense at all taken. Thank you for you’re input and hope to hear from you some more. Everyone’s situation is different. Although I think we all share similar desires. Just with different twists and at different levels.

I think this lifestyle is progressive as mentioned in my above thread -where I closed my eyes to imagine my wife being fucked from behind conditioning myself years and years before it actually happened.

And I think that Female Domination is closely related to my strong desires of being a cuckold. For me the deeper the level a Females desire is to be truly superior and have Dominion over me, the more I want to be defeated by her and surrender to her totally.
Watching her pleasuring herself by her lover while humiliating me about my sexual inadequacies brings me to a place of being defeated as a man-ego broken and replaced with true presentation to her. This of course is her goal. To conquer a man and will do what it take to accomplish it.

Unfortunately most Females are just not wired this way. Most have been brainwashed by patriotically male influenced society since birth. What a shame for guys like me.