Reality check

Reading this post made me realize there truly are some naive people out there, so I decided to post this to try to set the record straight.

The poster - and I am not trying to rip on him - tells about how he through the internet and cuckold porn got more and more enticed with the cuckold idea, to the point where he persuaded his wife to set this into life with a multiple-day fuckfest. This got out of hand and he now resents her.

Wow. I can't believe I have to say this, but people: MOST PEOPLE POSTING ON FETISH FORUMS ARE FULL OF SHIT!

If you are reading these boards and think all these people are REALLY running around having their wives gangbanged and do cleanups, you are off your chops. 95% of the posters have never taken their fetish into real life, but get off living out their fantasies by posting about out-of-this-world debauchery and sending e-mails back and forth. These are usually also the ones who pushes the envelope the furthest.

I am not knocking this board, I think it is great. But this post shows me that some people take what they read here at face value and treat it as their sexual frame of reference. Thus they get a skewed and unrealistic perspective and end up setting things in motion that they can't control. If you don't understand that there is a distinction between fantasy and reality you're in for a cuckolds brownie ride.

We are dealing with very powerful emotions here. The very same thing you fantasize the most about can quite possibly psychologically scar you immensely if you see it actually unfold before your eyes. How can you know beforehand? You can't.

This does not mean consenting cuckolding doesn't happen in real life. It does, and it is not even that rare. I have at least three mates who have never even heard of cuckolding as a concept, who never the less has been relaxing with taken women with their husbands and boyfriends knowledge. It happens more than one might think, and it can be great fun if it is handled sensibly by intelligent adults.

Here's what I told the poster, and I think this always applies:

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Dude, we are dealing with very strong emotions here. You have no way of knowing how you are going to respond before you are in the situation, which is why you have to thread carefully and take it step by step. Start with having her flirt with other men (with or without you there), then you stop it before anything happens, go home, and talk about how you both feel about it. Next time let it progress a bit more, all the while assessing how you feel and if your relationship can handle it.

Your relationship is the most important factor here, way more important than some sexual kicks. Therefore you need to know you are not jepordizing it. You need to trust each other, and find bulls you can work with.

Whenever I have fucked married women with the consent of their husband we have always made a point of keeping the two worlds separately. In the sexual setting I might play rough and talk cuckolds brownie, but it stops there. Outside the couple is to be threated as they are my good friends, and the husband can always call quits. This is non-negotiable.

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I can't believe some people think this is something you can just jump into. Exposing a relationship to swinging or cuckolding requires excellent communication, strong mutual understanding and massive trust. That sounds boring and doesn't tickle your cuckloins?

Tough cuckolds brownie. This is the real world, where human beings have emotions and can fuck themselves up if they aren't smart about it.

I predict that those who live their life through the internet and don't know jack cuckolds brownie will boo at this, those who actually have introduced this lifestyle to their relationships will second it.

Well, good man for seeing life as it really is. I'm am a Psychologist who has experienced both the good and bad in this 'lifestyle'.

I have read the post Berserker refers to and agree with his viewpoint in many ways. The core element of his argument is that the whole story is a concoction and because of so many similiarities tied into other posts it gives that validation for Berserkers point of view, and the fact that the post is extreme with the husband emotionally detached throughout the witnessing of the scenario with his wife, gives the whole game away to be honest.

But equally so, there is a reality for the permister who wrote the article referred to in the first place relative to the permister who wrote the article only! Even if it is not Berserkers perspective or anyone else's it is still a form of reality albeit excessive. This reality is in the mind and some people have a great difficulty seperating fantasy from reality, and the fact that it comes from a man is no coincidence.

How many wives have been convinced that it is a good thing to do, and then are on the receiving end of the blame when the fantasy does not live up to reality?

Anyway, I'm sidetracking here, but wanted to illustrate the point.

Moving on, an article like the one reffered to, is, in its context when written to a fetish website where alternate reality is its existance, and is a form of reality. The website is physical, because it exists. The article's are physical because they exist also for us to read. The subject matter is physical, but the expression of how these situaions happen are most probably as Berserker states I'm here witing this, 'full of cuckolds brownie'.

So, just because we do not agree with the legality of the article, does that disqualify it in any way, considering we are on a website and the majority of us do not know each other's first names gives validation to the article refered to and must so then be a true statement. Now, the difference is whether we believe it to be true. We try to denounce things by stating statistics etc, but this is a pointless exercise unless scientifically proven. I could just as easily state that 88.88% of lies are made up on the spot. Am I lying when I say this? Think deeply.

What I can ascertain form Berserker's point is that the article is a lie, and it frustrates him. And the call is for people to wake up to this. But hang on a moment... Berserkers why do you need this validation. and why do you need to emphasis the point that this is a great forum etc...but...

Think about it. Nothing on the internet is true unless it is proven. Nothing in life is true because life is not a constant. Life is a movement from one moment to the next. Does this mean life is a lie? Certainly not, but because we are intelligent we can question things and offer the credible validation to things. With the article we can not, and therefore only assume that because it is extreme in the least and possible to some offensive, it must be a lie based in Fantasia.

So, how do you settle this matter?

Permisterally I believe both perspectives are right. One is writing a truth upon a forum that it you take away the power has no life, so therefore does not exist, and that truth dies along with the extreme article that caused it to come into existance. And the other is writing, in my opinion fiction, upon a board where reality exists up to a point, and then is lost based upon particular interest in cuckoldry that we liken ourselves to.

Now, I'm not here to support one or the other, I merely offer the devil's advocate approach and leave for you to decide what you should accept or not, depending of your style of cuckoldry preferred.

Remember folks we are not in a court of law!

It is easy to show that Berserker has the main point of the argument that it is full of cuckolds brownie, because of the extremnity of the article, but think about this; even if all of the offending article was true, wouldn't the poster have a truthful point saying that he could not look at his wife the same way again after such events? How would he know? How could he write so precisely even if the article was faked? So, therefore is his article a lie? I think not, hence no one is right or wrong. We take from both articles what we individually think is true as individuals, and digest the information. I think the offense caused is based in the fact that it is over embellished as the article was written, hence it becomes more un-believable!

Ok, look at it this way. Physical example. Print off both articles. Look at the cause and effect. Let's say Berserker's article is article number 2 and the unrealistic article is number 1. Put them side by side and look at the construction of the wording, and this is interesting. In article 1 it becomes increasingly unrealistic from our every day perspective for the general public. But look at article 2 and although Berserker at the start of his article clearly states that he does not want to rip on him, look at how the article ends up...There is no middle ground even when offering his own article to other people as third parties he gives only 2 valid options, from his perspective. But there is a 3rd. In between both of these articles is the truth. That's what I'm here to point out.

Can you see equal problems in both? If you put these articles together one on top of the other the rise and fall of tone, passion, agreement and disagreement match. We wouldn't be human if it didn't. Both articles are then valid and both are true statements. The content doesn't matter. I could state pink elephants march through my back garden and terrorise the bunny rabbits. You think that sounds crazy? Well, you can paint an elephant....

People need to stop being reactionary and think about what article number 1 is really trying to say and I believe it to be this.

The husband is reflecting outwardly that his view of his wife has changed since they began this 'lifestyle' and he thinks less of her because he can not control the situation.

That statement would be tru if they actually participate in the 'lifestyle'.

But, if it is all just fantasy, then he feels guilty of his thoughts when he looks at his wife who knows nothing of how his mind thinks and he needs our support and understanding instead.

That is 2 options, what's the 3rd?

I leave that to you to choose!

Dr. J
S

Beserker,

I don't understand you.
I can't tell if that other story was real or not.
You are probably right about 95% of the posters here - but which 95%? I can't tell.
It is not you who decides someone has taken a fantasy too far. Or real life for that matter.
Real life doesn't always make sense.
Not everyone is good, and not everyone has got it together.
Nobody actually knows their own mind.
Bad cuckolds brownie happens.
Life is good.
I read a story once that went altogether too far. Then it went further...and further. Then when I was about to give it up it descended further into depravity. I was shaking my head in dismay. Then it got worse again It was miles filthier than that tame holiday yarn you refer to. Then I suddenly realised it was turning me on. What the fuck is that? It happens.

As for that story - I think i have been involved in worse things myself.

Shamusx,

Sorry, but what a pile of empty rhetoric! You get paid to think and say that?

Your point about alternate realities is OK, but not profound, and laboured somewhat.

Are you a cuckold yourself - a sexual player? Have you ever done anything unrealistic? Did you work as a clinical psychologist and break the golden rule with clients?