** Are all psychologically fucked up? (serious only please) **

Dear all,

I am beginning to realize that we are all perhaps a bit fucked up and may need some help....

Does anyone else feel and believe that even though we derive deep pleasure from this "fetish", we realize (that apart from the enormous sexual pleasure it brings, and the intense orgasms) that it might not be such a good idea to reinpower these ideas? ... that it might not be healthy for one's self-esteem, self-image, and health in a relationship?

I am seeking open correspondence here and seeking help from others and sharing understanding, with perhaps the goal of "growing out" of "this", which I believe actually has its roots in hurt, betrayal, loneliness, self-perception, or isolation.

I look forward to any feedback from others (in agreement or disagreement or just opinions) on this subject, which, I myself am moving in this direction.

Sincerely, Markus

Interesting post! While I agree that some people are fucked up I don't think it should be applied across the board. We're certainly not into the offense thing and would agree with you that this sort of activity could well harm relationships! Do feel free to instant message us if you'd like to discuss this in private.

Of course we are messed up! But, you can deal with it if you realize that EVERYBODY is! Everyone you see has some kind of psychological problem that they are dealing with. It may not be as odd as wanting other men to have sex with your wife, but it's there and often more of a problem for them than ours.

At one time, I was like you. I had this fetish and wanted it to go away. It never did. The more I tried to make it go away, the stronger it got! You need to accept who and what you are. It's SO much easier.

Right before I got engaged this last time, I told my wife-to-be that I could not marry her unless she was able to be the wife I always wanted and could indulge me in my sexual fantasies. I was a little afraid to tell her, but if I didn't do it, I knew I'd regret it later. I told her to sit down and brace herself. I could see that she was a little afraid of what she was about to learn.

So, I told her that I needed a wife that was willing to have an affair once in a while, that it would have to be a one-sided open marriage where the wife has other relationships with men, and the husband is completely faithful. I told her that this double-standard is what turned me on the most. I said there would just be few rules that we'd have to agree on, such as she would have to share with me all the details of the affairs. I would have to have some kind of sex with her soon after she came from her rendevous with her boyfriend. Because I did not want the affairs to drive us apart, I told her that the sharing of the details of the dates and the sex afterward is the thing that would prevent that.

I tried to answer all of her questions before she even asked them. When I was finished explaining, I asked her if she could handle all that. She just smiled at me sheepishly. I could tell she was relieved. She said that my fantasy wasn't all that bad. She thought I was about to tell her that I preferred men, or was a cross dresser or liked little kids, or bondage, something way out there.

So, I asked her again if she could be that permister, that kind of wife, the type of wife that has both a happy marriage and a boyfriend on the side. She said, "Well, are you asking me to marry you?" I said, yes. "Then, I think I can handle that." She hugged me and kissed me. There was long silence where we just kept looking at each other and smiling. Finally, she said, "What do you want me to do? Start dating right away?" I said, "Sure. I'd love it if you already had a boyfriend by our wedding day." "How do you know I don't already have one now?" was her reply. "Do you?" She looked down at me crotch and started rubbing. "Wow, you really do like this!" she said. Then, she confessed to me that she already had a fuck-buddy that she never told me about. I was so excited, I ripped off my clothes and started undressing her. We fucked on the floor and like wild naturals and from that day on she was convinced that our marriage was a perfect match.

If I can do it. You can too.

I love being fucked up and only want help from other fuck ups

If it feels good, do it!

Yes, yes, you are....how could you possibly think otherwise????

I don't think so at all. I think we have transcended the brainwashing of society based upon superstitious religious repression that sex has all kinds of odd connotations to it.

Sex is just sex. It's no big deal. You are not losing her. She is not being used. She is not used up or damaged, it's just sex. It is a mutually pleasurable thing that two people do. Why should it be different than a massage or a handshake?

All the negative things attached to it are all in your mind and it's all religious bullcuckolds brownie indoctrinated into society thousands of years ago.

We are not screwed up, the people who think that sex is some exulted experience that should only be performed under a strict set of circumstances are screwed up.

Life is short, HAVE FUN and enjoy yourself. Don't make such a big deal about it or over think it.

Think of it this way. You would have no problem sending your wife to a doctor who would peer up her pussy, put his finger in her ass and fondle her tits, right? No problem at all. Or a doctor to perform surgery on her and rummage around her womb, colon, and uterus, right? No problem at all, no jealousy or feelings of low self worth. So why do you have all this baggage on your mind when it comes to some guy putting his cock in her and giving her pleasure?

The difference and all the negative notions you attach to sex is all in your mind.

Someone gave me good advice when I started swinging with my wife. He said that at first it's kind of freaky and throws you off a little bit to see your wife getting fucked but then after a while you realize that sex is just something that two people do with each other and nothing more.

Enjoy.

Ditto jamesriske.

I don't really want to do this rt. But it is such a delectable fantasy. And now I am so deep into the fantasy, I love the sub, cuck, offense combination -- the whole deal.

Why do I have these desires? Not sure. Any suggestions?
pacree

Fucked up......
Yeah! Maybe a little. But I suppose on your perspective.
Religion may have a factor for some. But certainly not all.
I know a girl that is not religious at all. And wouldn't in a hundred years consider a 3 some.
To me. That's fucked up.
She's missing out.
I knew my wife was the one when we were young.
My wife, my best friend, and I had went to play mini golf and on the way home I looked over to her and said "Hey ya wanna go back and have sex?"
She agreed. Then I asked with a grin " You wanna invite (my friend) to join us?" She said sure enthusiastically then turned to ask him right then and there. He had more of a problem with it that either of us did.
But we did end up taking turns fucking her brains out for several hours.
It is something I'll never forget. And since that day I have always wanted to watch her get fucked, and ocassionally I do see it. I now have a fantasy of a guy cumming in her and then coming home to me and making, not letting me, making me eat her out.
Some say that's fucked up.
Quite frankly scarlet. I DON"T CARE!!
The thought of it gets my dick hard.
Right now when we have sex her dirty talk includes things like.
"Fill my pussy up with that hot cum and lick it out!"
Just recently she added " Fill me up and lick it up" You know you want to"
Oh my god that sent me over the edge.
For us it's simply a fantasy. But it's damn fun.

Remember.
If they don't like it, FUCK EM. I didn't ask them to watch anyways.
HotWifePlace.com

Wife Above Husband hit my life right on the head, our relationship started out the very same, we have now been married 35 years, both servived very high profile jobs, and all their stress, raised 2 wonderful youngren, one a Doctor, the other an Engineer, (niether of which am I the *** logical man) my wife has had hundreds of affairs, and i have been true blue, we have always been open and honest, that is the key. We just had our 35th anniversary, and re-newed our vows on a cruise. I love her more today than i ever thought possible, and together we have conquered lifes pitfalls. I know its not for everyone, but then of course we are all different. Here is a photo of my wonderful bride.

it's a rare thing that a fetish comes from any place other than the subconscious. Many fetishes are a reaction to early trama, or younghood fears.

there are a variety of factors that may induce this particular fetish, and many of them may be rooted deeply in low self esteem, disapointment, and general fears. when these fears and insecurities are mixed with sexual stimulation it is a strong stimulation. in theory perhaps one cums harder from this in the same way one may cum harder from anal stimulation, where the pain is transformed into pleasure.

it is a very poor arguement to blame religious stigma of sexuallity for our modern conception of what sex should be. while it is true that many religions have strict criteria of what sexuallity should be, it is also true that there is a very strong counter culture(this message board as an example) that attempt to redefine sexuallity as a concept, but create their new perception and definition based on radical reactions.

when we base our perception on a reaction we completly blur the reallity of what is, and take on the reallity of what we believe based on our not believing what we've been told prior.

in this instance we find it acceptable to react so harshly to what we view as society's perception of sexuallity that we would take everything sacred about sex away, and we would then treat it instead like a have, seaching endlessly for an ultimate orgasm.

the very core basic truth about sex is this:
it is a instinctive act, motivated by seemingly irrational powers, thats ultimate purpose is nothing more than to create new generations so the species can survive. perhaps the most beautiful thing about this is that within this survival instinct also comes the instinct to love and protect.

if you can agree with that then perhaps you can agree that by degrading the act of sexuallity we unknowingly alter our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us.




if you read any of this i will make my closing point now.
i would assume the men drawn into this life style are almost always emotionally insecure, and by engaging in this activity they may begin to 'accept themselves' and cum a lot harder all the time, but in my opinion it only reinpowers their insecurities until they approach death and realize that by submitting piece by piece of self esteem and control they have actually given up their ability to live a life beyond their fears, and have needlessly given in to their flaws.

quick summary

any life stlye based around orgasms is hollow and will ultimately collapse.


sex as a have is a very dangerous thing

oh also this fetish commonly has a realllly strong undertone of racism

I really cant agree that its about insecurities as far as we're concerned but then we're not a classic cuckold couple and don't get off on offense. As far as we're concerned this is all about fun and the celebration of female sexuality which has been suppressed for centuries. Its about leaving behind conditioning and playing! Its only sex and sex is not love. Its love that holds a couple together and if they have that then sexual play can be part of their life.

We agree with this point!

Who said life should be based around it? In any case is life based on money any different?

which I believe actually has its roots in hurt, betrayal, loneliness, self-perception, or isolation.

Emerald seems to be pretty on track with this as far as myself. More so the hurt and betrayal. Found a girl hurting me over and over, and slowly but surely started to become aroused by it. Often thought of seeing a psychiatrist about this, considering I'm only 21 as well.

I recognise 2 different classes of cucks. (1) the seriously addicted voyeurs and (2) the closet sub homsexuals with a mazochistic streak. The first category proudly show off their parnter's bodies imagining the arousal other men feel, thinking that they, like him, get off on voyeurism, whilst the second category have very little respect for the females and they themselves get "fucked" by proxy, empathising with their partner being on the receiving end. The fixation with huge black cocks belongs to this second category as does, ruined this, ruined that, "cream pie" etc.

The activities of category 1 can be in good taste, playfully indulged in by the 2 partners and is especially successful if the female has exhibitionist tendencies without any meaness in her character: a sexy pussy cat as opposed to a mean bitch.

The activities of the second category tend to be rather sordit because it is that very ingredient that spices them for both in a sub/dom psychological scenario with the "bitch" as the dom character which she may not be to start with but which the sub manages to turn her into for his own pleasure.

I do not think psychological attention could "cure" any sexually deviant permisterality. It may help chane habits and behaviour for a short while but the permisterality remains unchanged, liable to resume the same practices at any time, if the right oporunity arises. Much like an holy wateric.

I had a g/f once who was bi and wanted to "cure" herself from her lesbian tendencies. She went for psychotherapy and in those days they gave her electroshock treatment (aversion therapy), getting a shock everytime she said she liked the female in a picture they showed her, from a collection of pictures. Soon after she became a raving lesbian because the therapy had put back some of the thrill of the forbidden that she had in her teens when she had her forst female-female encounters.

Anything that happens between consenting adults in private or in the sight of other consenting adults is OK. Life is short and its pleasures are so few.

a life centered around money is equally hollow to a life centered around sexuallity.

i do not disagree with this at all.

a life centered around haves in the same category, the effects are just much more obvious.

the world is fucked up.

Yes and at the end of the day its all about having a healthy balance!

There are so many possibilities causing men to have an attraction to the lifestyle. For me it was the conflict set up by risking losing my wife compared to the relief when she came home to me. I accept that in my case there is a level of pathology in my behavoiur ( and hers) but the drive to prove she cared was so strong it overcame other anxieties. It worked for us, but was fraught with an intensity which was was extreme.

I have experienced life threatening situations but the uncertanity asssociated with knowing my wife is with another man has a unique psychological impact. If you relate to this post you are welcome to respond with a private msg.

I realized a long time ago tht I was seriously fucked up. Living the lifestyle that I live with my wife isn't the cause of being fucked up, it's the way I deal with being fucked up.

I've tried having normal relationships in the past, and they have all been deeply unsatisfying to me. I can't be happy in a traditional mongamous equitable relationship. I've done therapy and read books on relationships. I've worked on my communication s*******s and gotten in touch with my feelings.

And you know what? I discovered that I only really feel good when I'm in this kind of relationship. Do I have self-esteem problems? Sure. But having tried (endlessly, unsuccessfully) to get rid of them, I've just decided to live with my fucked-up self and make the best of it. I feel really happy that I've found a woman who can live with me and love me despite my messiness and bizarre needs.

p_1005

Don't forget that along with the desires you fantasize about, you also have the desire to keep them strictly fantasy. For some, a lack of resources (what ever they may be, not necessarily money) prevents them from experiencing their desires so they remain fantasy until the opportunity arises for that to change. For others (like your self) the rationalization that the consequences of living out your desires out weigh the benefits so they remain fantasy (where you can control the consequences) by choice.

Sexual repression and political and religious conditioning permeate all areas of society and are indoctrinated into your mind at a very young age whether you know it or not. You don't have to be overly religious or religious at all to be influenced by sexual repression and political conditioning.

The very fact that this thread's question is posed at all is proof to that.


Check out this essay and feel free to do your own research on the subject. It's very eye-opening. You can start reading at # 4 to get to the subject matter as it pertains to this discussion:

The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!


""""""""The purpose of sexual repression was to anchor presentation to authority and the fear of freedom into peoples' 'character armour'. The net result was the reproduction, generation after generation, of the basic conditions necessary for the manipulation and enslavement of the masses. """"""""

If by fucked up you mean different from most people - then yes. I look at the risks involved as being similar to bungie jumping. Its just our way of getting thrills/kicks.

Now if you want to see really fucked up, just watch the news or pick up a paper and see what our governments are doing to their own people

The thing is, once your wife's opened her legs for another man you can't go back. Once she's been fucked and he's had his seed in her belly, that's it. She can be as faithful as you like for the rest of her life but you can't change the fact that another man has fucked her - he's mated with your wife and they've both carried out the act of copulation together, the act that is meant to produce babies. It's how well you can live with this knowledge that's the thing. Living with this can have psychological consequences for some that go far beyond a super-intense orgasm. Once your wife has been fucked you can never go back.

well some interesting views:
if either the husband or wife had a lover and one still has to remain faithful to the adulterer..this can only lead to problems for the faithful one.Without sex..wheres the intamacy.Might as well be buddies!.
If You want to see your wife get fucked, become a swinger and participate..or do u want to sit in the corner and masterbate..guess many here like the corner!
Not sure whether many stories are actually tru...but they sure r a good giggle!

Very interesting discussion. I have pondered this very same issue, and have read these responses with interest.

I guess I approach this from the opposite angle from the cucks. I have never had any cuckold fantasies, but what I do have is an extremely strong sexual attraction to women that are allready in relationships. You could probably say that I am the complementary opposite of you guys.

I discovered my fetish by coincidence, as I started relaxing around in my early twenties. Sometimes you'd pull a girl home and she'd have an engagement ring, sometimes she'd tell you she had a boyfriend, sometimes you could just pick it up from her behaviour. When this happened I discovered that it turned me on immensely. I'd actually never had fantasies of the sort before, so it took me kinda by surprise when I discovered this dormant desire. Of the hundreds of girls I have slept with at this point in my life, the ones I remember the best are those who cheated on their boyfriends with me. To this day, if I am fucking a girl that's single I will fantasize that she is married/have a boyfriend and that I am putting my seed in his girl. Based on what I have read from the cucks here, it is the exact same pattern as them, only opposite. Fucked up? Maybe.

Discovering this aspect of my sexuality led me to reflect on it and analyze it. I have never been a sadist, so it didn't seem to make sense logically speaking. And I never harboured any negative emotions towards the other man, nor desire to ruin his relationship. My interest was purely sexual.

To be honest, I still don't know why I am this way. Interestingly, my permisterality too seems to be the complementary opposite of what buck_ramone described above, and what I've gathered from the cucks here. I am dominant, confrontational and get accused (probably correctly I'm afraid) of being arrogant. Maybe there is some sort of connection here, but who knows.

Anyway, I realize most people who post here and actually contribute are cucks and hotwives (the bulls contributions seem limited to occasional 'M 40 Nine Inches in Melb seeking wives for breeding') so this bull-centered screed might be of limited interest. What I'd like to do to end this post is to try to cast some light on what makes the cuckolding lifestyle so intensely satisfying for the cucks.

I study sexology (hear me out before you hate). A scientific study a few years back showed that the feeling of being intensely in love was centered in the same part of the brain that deals with uncertainty. Basically, it seems that over evolutionary history, those two instincts have been engineered by natural selection to overlap each other. What this suggested was staggering: it seems the feeling of intense love is dependent on a feeling of uncertainty about whether you will be able to get the partner you want. Now, why would this be the case? One reamisterable speculation about the reamister for this was the following;

When one of our ancestral males felt completely safe about his partners devotion to him ('there is no one around to take her away from me'), it made evolutionary sense for him to relax his most intense feelings of adoration and love for his partner as this allowed him to focus his mental faculties and material resources elsewhere than the courtship. In modern day terms, this is the well known phenomenon of passion dying after a monogamous couple have been together for a while. In a time of continuous scarcity it made sense, but in today's modern society of abundance and focus on permisteral happiness and fulfillment, this tendency makes people unhappy about the lack of passion and desire in their lives.

The flipside of this coin is this. Let's go back to our anscestral male, and imagine he suddenly finds himself in the situation where other newly arrived males is showing his partner sexual interest and she reciprocates. This changes the situation completely for him, his relationship is potentially threatened, and to make him take action to keep his partner his body switches on all those feelings of possesiveness, love, desire, jealousy and so on. It is a virtual fireworks of emotions he's now going through. If he succeeds in making his partner return to him, the reward circuits in his brain will fire intensely and he will feel an appreciation of his partner, a love, a gratitude and a desire that he hasn't felt since those early days of courtship.

Love is on the emotional level intensely tied in with uncertainty. What many cucks describe repeatedly when commenting on their fetish is the fearfilled excitement felt when their wives are on dates, then the release and joy when they return to them. I mean seriously, look how much appreciation and desire they show for their women. How often do you see that elsewhere in our society? We are biological machines, and cucks and hotwives have basically found a way to cheat the system so to allow them to feel like smitten teens all throughout 40 years of marriage. More power to them, and we as bulls get to be a part of it and fulfill our own fantasies as well as theirs. Are we fucked up? Probably. But when everybody wins, who the fuck cares?