Is she cheating on me? Its official I am a cuckold

Steven,
HIV testing is only assured after it is repeated in six months. It can take that long for the antibodies (or whatever) the test is looking for to show up in someone's red.

There's no such thing as safe unprotected anal sex outside of a monogamous relationship.

SFD appreciate teh concern, but whats done is done. according to my wife, Ian has a clean bill of health. I have to trust her she wouldnt put her own or my life at risk.

LB, my wife would love to femminize me, but I really do not enjoy that. I love what has happened but do not like the idea of being turned into a girl. My wife and I have agreed on a compromise, I agreed that she can do whats she wants, I will co-operate with everything, but she wont turn me into a girl at this stage.

MH no real updates, one noticable thing though is a chnage ive noticed, there is no mention of anything sexual now between Jenn and I. She has not mentioned anything at all for the last 3 weeks. She hasnt touched me, nor asked me to help her in anyway. I must say i am a bit worried about that.

Thanks to everyone for all your support and advice in this exciting but difficult time

MH no developments really. One change i have noticed in the marriage

SB what one chnage have you noticed?

Sorry, post got cut off???
I have noticed that my wife has seemingly lost all interest in anything sexual at all with me. Whilst I havnt actually had sex with her in almost a year, I have been licking her to orgasms regularly and she would also often either make me play with myself or occasionaly even rub me till i came. Not sure why the last 3 or so weeks ther has been nothing, no contact at all. I asked her but she didnt answer me?????

SB
Are you still relaxing in the same bedroom? Have you tried going to bed in a nightie? Maybe she will encourage you with sex if she see's you fem.

Another idea. Tell her you're worried that you don't feel close to her and ask her how she feels about you now since you've had sex as a woman - if that's true.

Amazing SFD that is exactly what my wife said, since she saw me lose my virginity to a man she no longer thinks of me as a man, and that the onlt type of sexual contact she will have with me is if I am in a female form.

I think that she has set me up beautifully, she agreed to stop femminizing me, but has now 'turned me into a girl' another way. She told me when I am ready to resume intimacy with her I know what to do.

Yes I relax on her bedroomm most nights

SB,
Don't you remember what you wrote on July 18, 2007, that your wife told you? Let me remind you:

"i know you love me amd I love you too, more than ever, I love the fact that you are happy for me to be sexually satisfied by a real man. But I cannot be married to a wimp guy, thats why i wmat you to be a girl for me, do you understand darling. I guess if you put it that way, I sort of do. She said I have done a lot of reading about all this, long before i met and fucked Brian long long before, when I realized that you were not man enough for me. So my darling, I am going to femminize you one way or the other, you can fight me and be femminized or give up and relax and enjoy the ride. "

She said, "I cannot be married to a wimp guy." She hasn't changed her mind. She hasn't done a very good job of maintaining control - AK wouldn't give her high marks. But I don't think she's changed her mind.

You've never told us, or your wife WHY you don't want to be a girl. If you had a solid reamister, like your youngren's mental health, or religious beliefs, or..... But you've never really said. Do you know WHY?

SFD you make a very good point, I don't really know why I don't want to be a girl, other than I don't feel comfortable. I tried and for a while I thought I was beginning to get into it, but something inside me just wont. I know this sounds ridiculous from someone who is turned on by watching his wife with another man, but its teh way I feel. It has nothign to do with any religious beliefs nor my kids, as I dont get to see them often due to the distance apart and due to the fact that their lady left me when they were just over 2 and 6 months old (yes we had 2 very quickly) so i have never got close to them.

SB64 it seems to me like you have no choice, I dont think you have ever had any choice. I think that your lovely wife has been planning this a long time. I think you are very lucky to have such a wonderful wife and if I was in your situation (I wish I was) I would give in and let her femminize you

It seems that sb64's choices are simple:

1. stay with his wife and become a girl.
2. leave his marriage and be a man.

As long as he remains in his marriage, it does not sound like his wife will abandon her desire and her plans to feminize him.

Thanks for all the advice, I think you are all correct. I think that I have no choice, my dear wife has been 10 steps ahead of me on all this. I will have a discussion with my wife tomorrow

Relevant questions for Jenn
1. If you are to be full-time fem, how will you avoid offense from those who know that you're really a man? How can she ask you to give up your dignity as a human?
2. She agreed to a three part choice, but she's not really accepting your choice of being fem only in the bedroom and dominated and gay sex, but of not being full time fem. Why not?
3. This doesn't feel like love, but manipulation, because she's not accepting you for who you are and want to be. Does she still love you?
4. There are other ways to dominate you and remain intimate, without being full-time fem - Such as Elise Sutton's stuff. Would she consider that? Would you consider that? See - The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!

Steven, you're in a tough situation. Don't compromise your beliefs. You're a permister who is an important part of creation. You can be sumbissive but still retain dignity.

I care about you. Best wishes.
SFD

Steven,
I re-read your "deal" You agreed to: "2) She will agree to stop teh femminization process, i agree to up 'the anti' on the cuckolding, this would include my wearing a form of chastity of her choosing AND oral and anal involvement with her boyfriends when she wants. Plus she can still make me dress as a girl for her entertainment but not regularly"

So are you willing to dress fem in the bedroom and maybe wear panties fulltime under your men's clothes? This should help you move forward in your relationship. Isn't it worth a try? The alternative may be divorce.
But, your wife said she doen's want that.

SFD

Had a long discussion with Jenn, net net is she knows we agreed to halt the femminization process, but she has a problem as follows.

She loves me as a permister, and wants to spend the rst of her life with me, BUT in the bedroom sexually speaking she is not only not attrcated to me but to an extent in my hairy maleness she is actually replused (her words) as she ses me as such a weak male and so submissive , she wnats to see me as a girl. She says that when i am all soft and smooth and femm, she is very attracted to me. To use her words, I am attracted to big built, man men or soft female types.

So we have agreed on a way forward which we are both more than happy with. I will keep myslef smooth and hairless, I will dress female at home whenever possible, including in bed and always when she has men visiting. I will be male outside the house such as at work or when we go out with frends. But that some outings as girlfriend is possible. When my kids visit, all cuckolding is on hold. The rest of the cuckolding can continue as it was. BUT in return she wnats me to start on some foirm of limited hormones, we will be going to see a special doctor she knows in a few weeks time. So all in all a good agreement, i will keep you all informed. Thanks for the interest shown.

Steven,
I've been thinking about your situation. Does your wife want you to have sex with men? She has not allowed you to become comfortable with this. I transitioned from hetro to bi gradually over several years, driven by a desire to be submissive. AK Remenko describes an analytic number line from -1 to zero to +1. This is hard to understand. Here's an easier way -

The only bi experience your wife provided you was pure trauma. There was no seduction, no getting comfortable being touched by a guy, no getting comfortable touching a penis, no getting comfortable sucking, no learning to kiss a guy. I'm sure this is all repulsive to you, but it's not to a woman and that's the path she wants to take you, and you've agreed to.

I suggest getting a "m4m massage." Look it up on the Internet. It takes time to progress through what I described above. This is what I did the first time I had a gay experience. The guy came to my room, I was fully clothed and seated. He started massaging my feet, then took off my socks. Then massaged my legs and then took off my pants (sorry - trousers). It was a slow sensuos experience. A male massage can let you get comfortable being touched.

About hormones, I don't think you're ready. Tits are forever, unless you get scarred with a masectomy. You have to want to be a girl first, and I suspect that the sexual aspect I described above is your biggest issue - it was for me.

It takes time, it's like when you were a teenager. First you held hands and then you kissed. Those experienced were charged with electricity. It's like the time that Brian touched your panty covered ass - it was electric. You've got to go through a tranisiton - somehthing other than r-a-p-e.

Your wife is way ahead of you in her desire for you being fem, but she's not allowing you the mental transition that you need. If you want to do something phyiscal to your body, have your beard removed with laser or eletrolysis - That's going to be a bigger issue than hormones and also takes time but isn't something you can't deal with in a man's role. You're not ready to grow breasts until you're in this the whole way.

You can still dress up with glued-on fake breasts and go out to clubs as girl friends. But once you grow breasts, how are you supposed to go to work???

Steven,
Here's how AK describes what I just wrote about. I can't follow it, and I'm an engineer!

"Grab a piece of paper and pencil as visualizing that which follows
aids understanding and makes it easier to remember. Consider a
number line from negative one (-1) through zero (0) to positive
one (+1) where -1 represents "100% heterosexual", 0 represents
"100% bisexual" and +1 represents "100% homosexual", i.e.
perfectly straight, perfectly bi or perfectly gay respectively.
Excepting asexual permisters, all individuals lay some place (i.e.
one place) on the line and that position typically moves little
during their lifetime. This is the B (Beta) point.

"TGurls have TWO places on the line however. The first is the point
representing their male permistera (B) and it follows the pattern
stated above that it typically doesn't move (static). That is a
male who crossdresses is NOT going to move right (positive) on the
line ("more gay") while in "boy mode" simply because he is also a
TGurl.

"The TGurl however has a second point (T, tau) corresponding to her
female permistera that is ALWAYS located to the right of her "male
point". The difference between the two is called her "positive (or
right) offset" (D, delta). For example a predominantly
heterosexual (in male mode) may have a B of-.95 and a T of -.90 as
a gurl. Offset D is defined as T minus B. In this example
-.90-(-.95) or an offset of .05. (In the event one's mathematics
education is well behind them, subtracting a negative number is
the same as adding its positive equivalent.) D0 (D zero) is also
referred to as the "initial offset". This offset may be so small
as to be undetectable or conversely very large. Websites and/or
profiles are common wherein TGurls admit to being "bi-curious when
dressed" (i.e. not having acted nor necessarily contemplating
acting on such curiosity when in gurl mode). These individuals are
honest enough to admit the existence of the offset in general and
that it applies to them in particular. Once rare as hen's teeth,
these gurls are more in evidence as time passes.

"This second point (T) is NOT essentially static as the first point
(B) discussed above but has shown a consistent tendency to move
right. This is called "positive (or right) drift". Amount of drift
(r, lowercase rho) varies from gurl to gurl just as offset does,
from a very low (slow) rate to a high (fast) rate. Therefore,
drift increases the offset over time. Rate of drift (R, uppercase
rho) is usually expressed as a percentage of the offset. Thus r
(lower case rho, the absolute value) divided by D times 100 equals
R (uppercase rho). This is expressed R = r/Dx100. Offset
progresses from D0 to D1 to D2 to....Dn. A TGurl with a small
offset and low drift is unlikely to become bi active UNLESS the
rate of drift is increased. TGurls with a high offset are
essentially powerless to prevent such activity indefinitely. All
gurls move right (positive) but some so slowly that they never get
to the point where they take an ACTIVE sexual interest in men.
This point A (alpha) also varies from gurl to gurl. Locating it is
important both for wives who want to encourage such activity and
also for those who would discourage it. Once this threshold (A) is
crossed retreat or cessation is unlikely. Once the offset reaches
the alpha point the die is cast."

Steven,
Have you thought about how your wife knows this "special doctor?" This is probably the source of the med's that caused your previous impotence.

You should ask your wife what her reamisters are for wanting you to start hormones:
1. Grow breasts
2. Chemical castration and impotence
3. Feel more docile - feminine
4. Loss of libido (sex drive)
5. Unable to orgasm
etc.

I suspect one thing that "repulses" her most about your maleness are seeing your erections. She probably wants to cause impotence. If you do start hormones, your should understand clearly what your getting into. They can cause severe depression, ostoprious, liver damage, etc. Two separate issues are involved - 1. blocking testosterone; 2. adding estrogen; Each one has different issues.

I still recommend waiting for any of this, but the question is - what is your wife trying to achieve?
SFD

SB,
How's your new arrangement working out? How do you feel about it? Have you talked anymore with your wife?
SFD

SB,
It's been two weeks. How are you doing?

Quick update, going well, Jenn took me shopping and we have stretd building up my female wardrobe. She let me go in male mode but said that next time it will be a girls shopping day.

She said I wont go in public until I look good enough. Shopping was actually quite fun and we bought some lovely things, it was a bit hard to judge sizes etc, withoiut trying on, but Jenn was quite good with her estimates. I ahve been dressing a bit at home and now relax girly every night. Jenn has been letting me relax in her bed now that I am all soft and smooth and pretty. She wants me to grow my haoir long and wear a ponytail at work.

Jenn had a date with a new guy last week, she never brought him home and was out till 2am. Other than that its been quite quiet, I await teh enxt development. SFD thanks for all teh great advice and concern, I am happy at the moment and still very commited to staying with Jenn

SB,
I'm glad that you're happy with what's happening. What's happening with hormones? You really should consider laser or electrolysis for your beard.
SFD

Nothing said about hormones, but we have been looking into Laser for face and chest, although I dont have much body hair, she wnast none at all.

She is meeting a new guy for a take tomorrow, see what happens

...hope she fucks him !!! Hope u lick her...
Fanatique de l'infidelite feminine

Dear Stevie,

I'm sure you'll look so sweet and feminine in your lingerie!

XO
LB

PS Hormones can be good for what ails you

Bit of an update

She didnt come home the other night texed me to say shes "going back to his place to fuck" next day all she told me was he was enormous, by far the biggest shes had so far and that it was amazing, he really stretched her.

She keeps buying me girls items, almost daily, yesterday were 2 new bras, the day before, a ring and a bracelet. I had my first laser treatment teh other day too, it was quite painful, but bearable. It will be good not having to hsave twice a day. Jenn insists I keep my face as smooth as possible.

I am spending most of my time at home enfemm now, it hasnt been too bad, I think i will get used to it over time. She had allowed me to relax in her bed and some night we have a kiss and cuddle. She has now decided that teh only way I can orgasm is by rubbing myslef through my panties, she says its not ladylike to take out my little clitty and pull on it, and seeing its so small anyway its probably not worth teh bother anyway. She hasnt touched me in that way for weeks, I have to rub myslef to orgasm when she allows me to.

She hasn't mentioned hormones again.

SB, wow you have it so good, this is the best thread on this site, i can't wait for your updates, keep up the great work.

SB,
I'm not sure how old you are. Do you have any issues with male pattern baldness? A good first reamister for some hormones would be to address that since you're trying to grow your hair long, and obviously shouldn't be bald.
SFD

SFD, I have a decent crop actually. I am 40 soon, mrs is 36. Melbhusb thanks for teh encouragement, it has been quite a journey, but mostly I have loved it. Still not totally with the femminization, but its getting easier by the day. I am getting quite good with makeup, she spent a lot of time teaching me, and I think I am starting to look quite good.

LB thanks too, are you on hormones?

SB any chance of a picture of Chloe?

SB
Almost 40................
Get ready for beginning to age
Bi-focals
Baldness
Fallen arches...........
etc, etc