Is she cheating on me? Its official I am a cuckold

I would appreciste some advice, my very conservative wife (who has never been very passionate in the bed) has started joking about relaxing with another guy. We have been married over 20 years and she was a virgin when we met.

About 2 weeks ago we were discussing how she has never really liked intercourse ( she does like me to finger her to Orgasm though) she said maybe it is you, you dont know how to do it? I think I will have to try someone else to see. I laughed, she said I am not joking. She brought up the topic about 6 times over the next few weeks, but not much since then, she has also joked about having a boyfriend occasionaly.

I would like to know what anyone out there thinks is going on, the thing is when she said it I was so turned on.

Sounds like your wife is testing the waters. If this goes anywhere further will depend on what you do next. If you want to be cucked, continue to keep the momentum going by telling your wife that if she cucks you, you want to watch. On the other hand, if you don't want to be cucked, get used to being a closet cuck. Because you wife will merely do it behind your back; that is, if she hasn't already done it behind your back. Good luck.
A man has not lived until he watches another man fuck his wife!

Hi,

I replied abt my story in Martin365's post. This is how my life started and if you would like to go ahead with it encourage he else you encourage her to find someone..


https://www.cuckoldplace.com/1_13274_0.html

good luck

Thanks for the advice, so you think that the fact that shes joking aboiut it, means she is thinking about it. And you think that it is inevitable that she will act on it? Is it not possibly just a fantasy?

sb:

Trust us. She's more than just fantasizing about fucking others. (In fact, all married women fantasize about fucking others. Most of them actively consider it, and most of them actually do so.) Since she is the one who brought it up, its serious. Might as well go for it, encourage her, enjoy it yourself, and you might learn a few things along the way. Be prepared to realize she is already fucking around.

At least she is talking to you about it. My wife didn't, even though we had talked about it on and off for years. I found out only two months ago about her fucking a well hung man 25 years ago (whom I knew). I wish she had told me then, I would have embraced it and participated (they almost did tell me). For these 29 years, I've been the faithful spouse because she would not admit to her past dalliance and fantasies. Only now is she beginning to loosen up with me on the idea of swinging and swapping, which is likely the only way we'll stay together.

Good luck and have fun.

Thanks for the answers> How do you think I should go about encouraging her?

One answer:


Another:
Next time she brings up the subject, engage with her in conversation. Ask questions such as "Where/when did you come up with the idea?" and "Why are you interested?" and "Do you have anyone in mind? and "How about couples? and "How can I help? as well as "What do I get out of it? and so on. Take her dancing, encourage her to dance with other men, and ask her afterwards which one would she consider, or go bar hopping (or just out to dinner) and just watch the singles and couples that come and go, comment upon candidates (male and female and couples). This last one is beginning to open up my wife (surprisingly so). Ask her about her fantasies and tell her some of yours. If at all possible, depending upon where you are, mix in some kino while talking about it. Women love to be touched and react positively to ideas while caressed.

If this sounds like I'm an expert, trash the idea. After all, I'm the one who was cucked while the marriage was in its absolutely strongest phase, early, while starting a family (pretty sure both kids are mine, but ...), and the last to know. I am convinced that her holding the lie for 25 years is what turned her into the superbitch feminista since the late 80s or 90s till recently, when she projected her guilt and shame onto me, and almost bankrupted me. I saw the signs at the time but chose to ignore them, assuming her to follow her "better nature," or at least tell me. Don't make the same mistaken assumptions. You can't change her (or any woman), so nip the lying and cheating in the bud, instead go with the flow and have her doing things "above the table" and with you. My explanation to the wife of my reaction to her admission is that her fucking the guy was not the bad thing, it was the lying about it and all the rationale for her lying about it that was/is bad. You want to avoid the decades long consequences that I have suffered, and it seems she might want to avoid that, too, based on her raising the subject.

You can track other posters' stories, such as mine, by clicking on the "member" link under our names. You'll get a wide range of permisteral stories and reactions and suggestions and results (not all good). I think you are a very lucky man that your wife is bringing this up early in her consideration of her fantasies. Just don't be dismayed that she may have already started doing them without you. The earlier you are in the picture, the better.

Good luck. Let us know how things are working out.

Thanks a lot for the advice, but here is the problem, my wife is joking about the subject, but if i try and talk about it, she brushes me off. I really dont know how to read my current situation? Any ideas??????

sb:

Try returning the "favor" by joking about you stepping out, pointing out some of your possible candidates. She is both testing you and herself. And she will run hot and cold (or warm and cool) through out the discussions and between installments of your discussions. Just be gently persistent, with plenty of time between each installment. Also, the "brush off" may well just be a smokescreen, so she doesn't come off as too eager. Play it by ear. Catalog all her reactions and expressions in constructing the big picture, don't sweat the individual details that build up the whole picture (many details will be contradicting other details; That's the way women work.)

Good luck. (But I bet you won't need it.)

Thanks for teh advice DRFarmer, I think you have a wise head on your shoulders. I think you are right about her running hot and cold, she seems to joke about it for a bit then is silent for a few days.

sb:

Thanks for the compliment. I am wise and smart, but that does not really cut it with women. Concerning relations with women, men should keep their head-on-the-shoulders wisdom in check and let more of their head-below-the-waist "wisdom" run the interaction. Women are every bit the sexual beings as men, or more so, and care much more about feelings and pleasure than men, it seems. I am only just now becoming aware of the huge magnitude of that truth. Wish I had figured that out much sooner. I am hoping it is not too late for me to take advantage of that insight (a lot of which I gathered off these forums), but surely it is not too late for you.

Good luck.

As drfarmer so wisely says, you need to have a lot of patience, be honest and let your wife move at her own pace. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

Another tactic that you might want to consider is what I call being "the whipped dog." The next time she even remotely alludes to your lack of talent at worshiping her hairy shrine, tell her she is right and that you are sorry for letting her down in the sexual pleasure department. Tell her that you love her and that you want her to have every happiness. And if that means spreading her legs for other men (use the plural), then so be it. Then change the subject.

Again, trust us. When her female wiles tell her that she has you right where she wants you, she will be most pleased to cuck you in every sense of the word.

You can also click on my member's link to view more advice that I have given to guys like yourself. You can also send me a private message.
A man has not lived until he watches another man fuck his wife!

sb:

It's been more than a week since we last heard from you. How's it working out? We're curious to see if we are as smart as we think we are in regards to our advice. Also, if you try something we have not specifically suggested, we're all ears on those effort's results, too. As Amazon said, PMs are OK, too, but don't forget that the point of these forums is for all of us to learn from all of our shared experiences.

Thanks for the interest, but there is no news yet, you advice is great, but i have to start slowly, if i just stared talking about these things she would think i am crazy.

She still jokes about having a boyfriend all the time and we haven't had any sort of sexual contact for over 3 weeks now, which is unusual.

I will keep you posted.

sb:

It's significant there has been no sex with her since shortly after her bringing up the subject of sex with other men. I don't recall you mentioning that. And she's still joking about it. I've got news for you: She's not joking. Either she has already started cucking you, or she is on the threshhold of doing so after having already decided.

If you want to keep her and/or be a part of this (presumably) new chapter of hers and your lives, it's now or never to get it out in the open between you two. Ask her point blank who the other man/men is/are and, as in the old misterg, for How Long Has This Been Goin' On? Preface your questions with an upbeat and encouraging attitude so that you present yourself as an understanding gentleman looking for confirmation, not an angry accuser. Don't be concerned about what she will think of you for pressing the point because she has likely decided that it is relatively unimportant to her. Your goal is to make it important to her that you are in on it.

Remember, she is the one who broached the subject suddenly, and you did not think her crazy for it (How do we know that? You sought us out in these forums.). Open and honest communication is paramount, and it may actually trump the patience Amazon and I have counseled. Or, another way to look at it, she may have already spent a good deal of time and consideration so that the requisite patience for her is a done thing, but that she may be exercising patience for you, to bring you along slowly. Now that would make her a very considerate cuckoldress.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Try saying things like: "As if", "you'd never do it" or "I dare you to go through with it". If she has been fucking another guy, she'll soon tell you if you dare her, and if she hasn't, she soon will.

OH I did that, I said to her, after she joked about relaxing with someone else, yes sure very funny Ha Ha you of all people, she said.. (in joking tone) ok if you want to think that???

About 6 months ago my wife started joking about having a boyfriend, she is very conservative in bed and will only ever have vanilla sex in missionary style. Do you think somethings up?

SB64, what type of things does yours say specifically? Mine says things like "I cant go shopping then because my boyfriend will be coming around" shes is alwasy joking and never says it if shes not in a happy mood

Jayj, mine brings up a joke mention about 3 times a week i would say. It is always as part of a conversation and always light hearted. She even jokes about it in front of the kids sometimes. It will be something like, well my boyfriend can fix the broken TV or dont worry if you can't find it, my boyfriend has one.

this is because men are pigs and forget every thing when their brain leaves teir body and shoots across the room.lol
sb64
Jayj
sounds to me your wives are just trying to make you jealous. maybe they are feeling unapreciated.
you need them to know they are if you want this to happen.

So suakm in your opinion, does the fact that my wife jokes about it, mean she wants to do it, or do you think its just a cry for attaention?

Well I havnt posted for a while, but things have moved on a bit since my last post. I have been watching my wife closely these past few weeks and I am now 90% sure shes cheating on me, 2 days ago, I tried to call her and she did not answer her cell phone for over 90 minutes, when I challenged her later she claimed she didn't hear it ring as she was in a noisy resturant with a girlfriend????

She has also been continuing the game of the pretend boyfriend, making a joking reference at least 4 times a week.

I was right!!!! I have had the most amazing week of my life. Last week Monady again I could not get hold of her for over an hour. Again she had a rather flimsy excuse. Tuesday & Wednesday all I could think of, her and what was up, I dont rememebr what happened at work those 2 days. I got home from work Wednesday and as I walked up to the front door I heard her cell phone ring. I opened the door, went into the kitchen, her cell was on the table, I asked who phoned she said who phoned? i said your mobile, she said no one!!! I said I heard it ring she said no you could not have. I said ok let me see your call register, she said why dont you trust me? I said let me see, she went pale and started crying. I said its ok lets talk.

Its like a dream, I was so calm, I told her i know she has been cheating on me and that I want her to tell me everything. I told her I was not going to kick her out but i had to know the truth and all of it. Well I know I am rambling here so I will get to the point. She has cheated on me twice in the past month. She said she was not technically having an affair but rather had sex with a guy twice, she does not love him, its just lust. She admitted that she has been thinking about sex a lot recently and that I did not satisfy her sexually and never have. She was not looking for anyone, but the oportunity arose and she took it. She was a virgin when we met and was failthful to me untill last month. teh guy has a 7" cock I am 5" and she told me with him was the first time in her life she truely enjoyed sex. She said that when we have sex it hurts her, but his bigger and thicker cock felt fantastic inside her and she came from penetration for the first time in her life. I was overcome with emotions, on the one hand this is what I have dreamed of for years but my wife, my love lied and cheated on me.

We spoke for 5 hours didnt even notice that we missed dinner, I told her that I have always dreamed of her taking lovers and that I think I am ok with what she did, but that she must never lie to me again. She swore to me that she loves me and will never go behind my back again. She offered to never see him or anyone else ever again, all I had to do was say so. We agreed that I would think about it for a bit and we can talk again soon.

Any advice?

I would suggest that you ask her again and this time to tell you the whole truth. Your gut told you something was up in march its now June, she admitted 2 times in the last month, why were the other months not mentioned ?
Its like this if you got a new car and its fun to drive and you mention it daily how much it does for you, and have never experienced anything as great, then turn around and tell me you have driven it twice in three months. But explained its because you have been driving a bomb for so long. I would assume a very good bonding needed to be established before you were confident to get in and start thrashing it.
The bonding was worth it, the experience was better than expected. That bomb you drive daily starts to look even worse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think you have some very bad road ahead of you.
Your wife's speech and reaction was almost Identical to my wife's except I didn't get the crap lover part. That this guy is nothing she loves me its going to be ok we will sort it out,

something got sorted out all right.... Me..... Sorted right out of the picture.

4 years later 100k spent on lawyers. she spent 65K I spent 35K.. judge awarded 50/50. She got the lot, my half didn't even exist. I am now living in a flat above my shop, which her and her boyfriend own about to go bankrupt and evicted.
Learnt a few things though...lol ....Rule no 1... do not skimp on a budget lawyer. A good things is, I don't have anything to pay him with.
Well that was 4 years and 5 relationships ago.
I hope things work out better for you though. If you want to survive it, you will have to ride it out, stay calm don't get angry, become her friend and be prepared for a thousand lies.
At the end of the day its your life and you have to live it. I chose to die on my feet rather than live life on my knees.

Thanks Ugo1st, I see where you are coming from, but I did ask about that, she said she was behaving that way in March becuae she could not get thought if trying sex with someone else out of her mind since December when one of her girlfriends put the idea in her head. She said by March she had decided she was going to do it, thus her strange behavior.

I hope things wont turn out the way they have for you, but I am hoping to be able to get into a proper cuckold relationship. I believe my wife does love me and I hope that this will not ruin the very good marriage we have/had

This sounds very exciting to me, but I'm sure it's scary to be actually going through it rather than reading about it over the internet. It must have been a blow to hear that your wife has never been satisfied with you sexually. Good luck with everything.

I've wondered what it would be like to have my fantasies in this are become reality. Are you turned on by this situation at all? Do you want her to tell you about her lover while you're having sex?

Oh yes so turned on, it is all I have thought about. To tell the truth I love what is happening, its my dream, my wife is a beautiful woman and is very sexy, she deserves to be satisfied.

I intend telling her this week that she must continue to see the guy, I also want her to tell me exaclty how it happened and the exact details, but not while we are having sex as I know she doesn't enjoy having sex with me.

Sb64 would love to hear more about whats happening, my wife has also been joking continuosly about having a boyfriend

Well this weekend has been surreal actually. I feel such mixed emotions on the one hand this has been my dream for as long as we have been married, but on the other hand i realize that things will never be the same between us.

We are going to have a chat about things later, I will try and post an update if people are interested.