Hi, here's my intro post I guess.
My name is Rick and I'm in Tennessee. I'm not sure if I belong here but I think I do.
I have a close and meaningful relationship with a woman named Jenna, and she is in Virginia. At this time, neither of us can move to be with the other. She is very loving and we are very open and honest. Well, one week she just kind of took up a local boyfriend. I was kind of hurt by this, but really I didn't think it was unfair. We can't be with each other anyway, and she wants someone to be around and to fuck her. She took up this boyfriend without asking if it was 'ok' with me or anything, but she didn't keep it from me and she told me about him right away. I didn't want her to be with him, but I love her and I couldn't ask her to give him up, and I don't think she would anyway.
As I said we are open in communication, so I often hear about their sex; if it was good, if she's upset because she didn't get any that day, etc. It was kind of awkward for me to listen and be supportive, but I do want to know about what's going on with her, and be supportive. So I decided it would probably be a lot easier for me emotionally if I didn't have to be so enthusiastic about her getting fucked by him, and if instead she could be a little mean about it, like "this is how it is, and you just have to accept it because I'm going to get my way". However she is really a sweetie so that didn't work out for her. I also showed her some good articles on the concept of cuckolding, but she said she would feel too much like a mean bitch to treat me that way, and that she loves me too much and it wouldn't feel right for her.
Although she is not mean, I have adjusted and continued to love her. She is closer to me than this boyfriend, and we talk constantly. Basically everything is like it was, except she doesn't talk dirty to me quite as much simply because she's being mostly satisfied elsewhere now.
Now, my role is to do my best to make her feel good. I keep her company on the phone or online, I help her with computer issues and webpage design, I mail her cute drawings she asks for, and do whatever else I can to make her feel special. I feel important to her and that helps me feel good about my situation. Being submissive helps me have a stable role and not feel like I'm competing for her with her boyfriend.
She couldn't be mean to me, but she did agree to accept control of my orgasms. The rules are simple and I'm happy about them: if she needs me to help her with something or do something nice for her, and I can do it, then I get to masturbate. This works out well because she doesn't have to randomly decide whether I get an orgasm, and she doesn't rack her brain trying to come up with taks to help me earn it either. I have never been so happy to go over a week without an orgasm.
I think it's working well too, because my goal is that this will help me stay focused on her needs, and I think I'm getting to the point where I really don't care if I can have an orgasm or not; I just care if I get to do something nice for Jenna. Today it isn't really bothering me that I have a constant semi-erection that I can't do anything about, but it's bothering me that I've gone so many days without being more useful to her. It's ok though because I know she knows I'm here if she needs me. I will go another week without orgasm if that's how it works out, and I'll feel good about it. I don't beg for orgasms, or for a task to earn one with; I just ask her once or twice each day if there is anything at all that I may have the pleasure of doing for her. And of course I express my hopes that her boyfriend will fuck her good that night.
I guess I'm just here to be able to express these things in good supportive company, and be able to semi-publicly show the intensity of my devotion. Thank you for reading.
