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Back to Cuck? (Long post!)

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JayandHayley

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Hello, my name is Jay. I'm 27 years old and I'm a former cuckold. Here is my rather long but exciting story. At the end, I ask for advice. You could skip the story and just answer my question, but I advise you to read every word. I get turned on just thinking about it.

As a teenager, I used to masturbate to porn, imagining the female porn star to be my wife cheating on me. I thought it was just an innocent fantasy and never believed it would materialise in my sex life.

I met Lucy at my former place of work three years ago. We clicked instantly. She was a fun, intelligent, kind and seemingly innocent 21 year old. She was insanely cute with the most gorgeous smile, beaming eyes and a sweet demeanour. She carried a slight bit of puppy fat (around her face and belly only) but had a hot ass and pretty much perfect tits. She was 5 foot 2 and very feminine, except for a slightly plain, tomboyish taste in clothes.

Two years into our relationship, we were talking marriage, cut our social life and were very comfortable together. We thought our sex life was perfectly fine. Although we were happy, Lucy wanted to take up an activity and get herself in better shape for me (even though I was more than happy with her body). So she joined a gym.

Within a month, she had lost almost a stone in weight and was becoming nicely toned. She always had admiring glances, but now men were eyeing her up everywhere. She began to radiate confidence and had developed a 'glow'. Sexy clothes were constantly being bought and Lucy wore them with complete pride, as opposed to the awkwardness she'd previously had. She reacquainted with old friends and met new ones. Her social life picked up dramatically and she started going clubbing again, on 'girls nights out' (wearing outfits that would make a whore blush). I got jealous and felt out of her loop, but she told me to be pleased for her. So I was.

One night, I had to go for a meal with work clients (about thirty miles away from my house), so I spent the night in a hotel before returning home the next morning. I was planning on showering and going back into work, but I bumped into my neighbour Tim who was washing his car.

'Good night last night?' he asked with a cheeky smirk and half wink.

'Yeah'.

He patted me on the shoulder. 'I bet you did. That Lucy's a loud one, isn't she?'

'Eh?!'

'You know... loud'. He then made high pitched orgasm sounds. I walked straight inside without saying a word to him.

I was crushed. I didn't return to work. I stayed at home crying and obsessing about the noises that Tim supposedly heard through the walls. I tried to convince myself that she was watching porn, or Tim was winding me up, but the evidence was too strong. Suddenly 'girl nights out' lost their innocence and I pieced together all clues I had been ignoring. Lucy was cheating on me.

She returned home later that evening. I had been planning to confront her and had spent most of the afternoon figuring out what I'd say. When she walked in, I froze. She was so sweet to me. Very affectionate, cooking me a nice meal and generally reminding me why I loved her so much. We had sex that night. I came within about three minutes, and proceeded to come twice more. That's the most I'd ever shot my load and the most I enjoyed sex with her.

In her company, I ignored her indiscretions and got lost in her wonderful presence. When apart, I cursed her and ran all of her possible cheating scenarios through my mind. I scoured the house for clues as to who she was fucking but came up with nothing. For the next week, she continued her trips out 'to see my friends'. One night, I asked to join her but she explained that her best friend Lisa was depressed about her asshole boyfriend so needed some female company.

I checked her mobile phone every chance I could get (when she had left it around the house) but it was usually empty - no text messages, no previous calls, no suspicious men in her phone book. That was until Friday night, when she showered before her night out 'clubbing'. A total of seven messages were in her inbox and sent folders - a text exchange with someone under the name 'Rachel'. Here it is (near enough) -

LUCY: I can't stop thinking about your big juicy cock. Hope my colleagues don't see the wet marks down my legs and on the floor.

RACHEL: You're obsessed, babe.

LUCY: Told you I'm falling in love with you.

RACHEL: Who can blame ya? Especially after last night's workout.

LUCY: Ha ha. I told Jay I'm limping because I fell on my ass while cleaning. But we know the truth ;)

RACHEL: Don't worry. I'll soothe you tonight. It gets easier every time.

LUCY: Can't wait big boy xxx

I was shocked at this. Partly by the anal thing. I'd been with her two year and never got near her sweet asshole. I asked once but she said 'no way' so I dropped the idea. I became so jealous.

But mainly I was disturbed by the 'falling in love' line. I'd previously consoled myself with the notion that her other man was purely a sex thing, and that I'd always be in her heart. I guess her heart found room for one more. It hurt. Although I didn't acknowledge it at the time, my body was gushing with feelings of excitement and arousal. I felt alive. I felt interesting.

So obviously 'Rachel' was a fake name, so as to not get me suspicious if I checked her phone. I took down the number. Just after Lucy left for her night out (with him, clearly), I decided to ring 'Rachel'. I was planning to pose as a market researcher to find out his identity, but I didn't need to. It went straight to answer phone. Male voice, as suspected -

'This is Shane [surname left out for privacy reamisters]. Leave a message'.

I Googled him, and due to his uncommon surname I was fairly sure I had identified him. He was listed on a gym's website as a master trainer. The gym that Lucy had recently joined.

The next day, I went into Lucy's gym and asked to look around with a view to joining. I soon saw a trainer with 'Shane' on his namebadge. I'm a good looking guy, but Shane made me feel as desirable as syphillis. He was 6 foot 4, lightly tanned and had a professional rower's physique. His face was clear and youthful but his well defined cheekbones gave him a masculine edge. Instinctively, I peeked at his package. There was a huge bulge quite far down his shorts, but I tried to convince myself it was just the ripple of fabric.

He was standing with two giggling, wide eyed female trainers who seemed mesmerised by his every word. It was almost comical how eager for him they looked. I noticed several girls walk past and double-take at him. Two hottie standing in the free weights area were pointing at him like smitten schoolgirls. I hated him already. But I had to meet him.

'Excuse me, do you do permisteral training?' I squeaked nervously. I was emasculated just being near him. I felt just as nervous as I would when asking girls out as a teenager.

Without a word, he led me to his gym desk and opened his schedule pad. He flipped three pages filled with a time chart. Lucy's name was in several squares. His clients were predominately female.

'Fully booked for three weeks but I give priority to my regular clients. You best speak to another trainer'.

He spoke with asshole bluntness but great confidence. It did nothing to decrease my envy. I was hoping he'd be an ugly loser, not a fucking alpha male stud. I cried again that night. I wanted to confront Lucy but I was too scared she'd tell me just how good he was. I was scared she'd leave me.

Over the next few weeks, Lucy was far less careful in playing away. Once she called me 'Shane', another day I kissed her and her breath tasted of sperm (she never swallowed for me!), I found a used condom in our toilet (unflushed), she spent more time away from me... there were loads of other things too.

She arranged a double date with us, Shane and her best friend Lisa. He didn't seem to remember me from our gym meeting. Seeing them interact was heart breaking. Her eyes never left him and they seemed to swap between playful banter and soft pillow talk all night. At one point, I spied her stocking clad foot teasing the monster bulging from his jeans. A very sexy image, and I got hard as a rock but didn't acknowledge why I was so turned on. I was in denial.

Lisa was contantly touching Shane and complimenting him, but his attention was firmly on Lucy (I don't blame him... Lisa had 1/1000th of Lucy's sexiness). Lisa became discouraged and awkward. When going to the bar together, Shane gave Lucy's tight ass a spank. She feigned offence but was soon back to looking at him lovingly. Lisa gave me a pitiful stare as if to say 'oh poor you. Your girlfriend's fucking the hottest stud around'.

I couldn't believe how blatent they were being around me. Later that night, Lucy said she was relaxing over at Lisa's because they want to catch a chick flick together. Like the sap I was, I let her go without a word. I knew where she really was.

It would soon get worse. One night, a slightly takes Lucy and I had a rather uninspiring fuck. She used to just lie there - no moans, no yelps, maybe the occasional 'I love you' or 'Oh yeah, this is good'. By this point, she didn't even bother saying anything. She just let me masturbate inside her. I was coming a lot quicker lately, but I couldn't admit to myself why that was. In truth, I was picturing her and Shane together.

We kissed each other good night and I soon drifted off to relax. I was woken up at 3AM by car lights shining through my bedroom window. Lucy was no longer by my side.

I heard keys jangle and the house door open. A deep voice contrasted with a high pitched voice. It was Lucy and Shane. Couldn't believe she'd given him our house key. I crawled out of bed and carefully opened my bedroom door so I could hear better.

I heard Lucy's sweet giggles, the puckering of lips on lips (and no doubt on other body parts), many 'shhh!'s and a conversation that I could just about understand. Basically, Lucy was saying stuff like 'this is so wrong. I'm so naughty'. Shane was saying 'let's wake the little boy up and he can watch you lick my cum while I finger your asshole' or something. Lucy was in hysterics but pleaded with him not too.

Then they went quiet for a bit. This is always the most depressing bit for a cuckold listening in on your unfaithful partner - those moments where you're wondering what's going on and pondering the nastiness that you can't see.

All of a sudden, Lucy started gently moaning. I was both relieved and disappointed. I expected her to be a little more 'vocal', from the way my neighbour Tim spoke about her sex noises and what I dreaded his cock and sexual prowess would be like.

After a couple of minutes, Lucy yelped 'Put it in me'. She begun wailing like a banshee. It was worse than I feared. Obviously his cock hadn't penetrated her when she was lightly moaning. Now it had, and she was moaning so loud she probably woke up the entire town. I had heard a few screamers on porn but this was just ridiculous. It largely sounded like she was in agony but every now and then the pace slowed and her screams gave way to melodic, feminine gasps of ecstacy. When she could get her breath, she made some comments. 'I can't believe it'. 'You're fucking huge'. 'My big fucking boy'. 'I love you Shane'. 'That's hot'. 'Own it'. 'Slow down, you're tearing me up'. 'You sexy sexy man'. 'Oh my God'. She was overwhelmed with passion. Surely she didn't expect me not to hear? Then again, she was takes. She'd soon be cum takes.

During the action, I masturbated twice and never even bothered to clean up the mess.

I slammed the bedroom door shut (hard so they could hear, but they didn't seem to) and recoiled back in bed. Although horny as hell and eager to see them fuck, I was an emotional wreck. I burst into floods of tears and thought that me and Lucy were over. They carried on banging. Lucy's 'I love you Shane' made my tears intensify.

I reached for my iPod (with earphones) and played a depressing Staind misterg. I could still hear them fucking so put the volume up until my music drowned out their music. I soon fell back to relax. I have no idea how long they were going at it, but I'd guess at least an hour and a half.

The next few days were hell. I was going through much turmoil, working out what to do about Lucy and whether or not I actually was turned on by her cheating. I was seeing less and less of her, and I actually missed her.

I wondered whether Lucy knew I knew about her and Shane - that's why she was so obvious, maybe. She later told me that she had no idea I knew, but was so horny and senseless that she didn't consider me at all.

One night, I returned home from work at normal time. I wasn't home early like the typical 'catch them cheating' narrative seen in films etc.

As I entered the house, I heard the same heavenly moaning that I heard a few nights before. This time it was less muffled, the bed springs were creaking and Shane was growling some sort of pep talk to Lucy (i.e. 'You're gonna come all over my giant cock, you little slut').

Walking up the stairs, the sounds got louder and louder.

I opened the bedroom door and there they were. She was on the bottom with her legs sprawled out on the bed. He was over her, absolutely nailing the cuckolds brownie out of her wide and soppy cunt. The wetness (and small drops of creamy fluid) seeped down her bouncing little bum; slightly elevated and exposed by the angle of their position. She was clasping at his athletic ass. I could see part of his cock and it looked as thick as a treetrunk. He hadn't got a condom on. Her feet looked tiny angelic, hanging in the air.

When they spotted me, they paused. Lucy took her hand away from his backside. Her face changed from one of lust and satisfaction (an unfamiliar face to me) to one of shock and genuine pity. 'I'm so sorry Jay' she said.

Shane gave me a hateful smile and resumed pounding my girlfriend in front of me. She unconvincingly moaned 'Shane, don't!' but he carried on anyway. She tried to get out another 'don't' but she broke out into another cry of passion. She took her eyes off me and looked back at him with what can only be described as respect and natural desire. She put one hand in Shane's asshole and licked a finger on her other hand. It was like I'd never interrupted them. She tried to stifle her screams but he rammed her harder and her pitch got higher.

Then came the most hurtful but probably sexiest moment of my life. She began kissing him like he was the love of her life (who I thought I was). While they were snogging, he slowed down and fucked her gently. Despite her saying she loved him, I always thought it was just a sex thing. That moment showed me that it was far more than that. She later told me that he was rude and mean to her and treated her like a blow up doll... but she loved him all the more for it. Fucked up chick logic!

I was standing watching my girlfriend and her lover in my own bedroom and my cock was the hardest its ever been. Not sure they noticed.

Shane suddenly withdrew from Lucy and moved aggressively towards me. I felt threatened but couldn't take my eyes off his gargantuan erection. It was bigger than I imagined. Apparently, Lucy measured it at 21.4CM (7.5CM bigger than mine). The scary part is that it was more thick than long. It looked bigger than most porn dicks. At that point I felt so helpless.

He grabbed me by the neck and shoved me out of the room, shouting 'fuck off'. He slammed the door shut. I didn't dare re-enter (as much as I wanted to). They kept banging. I repeatedly jacked off in the toilet down the hall until my cock got sore.

After about twenty minutes, I heard Shane shout 'ahhh' like a warrior. Then, they went quiet.

I went downstairs and watched TV on the sofa. An hour or two passed, then guess what? Yep, they fucked again. This time it lasted 2 hours, 12 minutes (I timed it). Although my cock felt tender, I was too aroused not to play with it.

I peeked in on them just after midnight and they were arelax in each other's arms like soul mates. Lucy looked so fucking hot - like she was glowing. She slept with a smile, which I'd only seen her do once or twice before.

It was clear that I felt negative emotions about the whole thing, but I realised that my sexual feelings were way stronger.

Lucy saw me the next morning (after Shane had gone). She said she'd packed her things and was so sorry she'd hurt me because she loved me with all her heart. I pleaded with her to stay. She told me she loved Shane too and doesn't want to end it with either of us, but realised that she'd broken my heart. I literally begged her to stay. She kept saying no, but finally agreed when I said I'd let her continue things with Shane. We then had a lovely kiss and cuddle.

The next week, she would openly tell me 'I'm going to Shane's now'. Thing is, although I was aroused by her going off to get fucked, it wasn't quite as hot as when they did it in our bed.

I told Lucy that I didn't mind her inviting Shane over. I tried to pretend I was just being polite, but she grilled me so I confessed at how the whole thing was turning me on. Lucy found it hilarious and was so relieved.

We put a couple of rules in place. I demanded Shane fuck her with a condom at all times. Shane demanded that I don't watch them fuck (he found the whole thing freaky). We came to a compromise that 3 video cameras (at different angles) be installed in the bedroom to film their noctural passions.

I spent ages editing the sex videos with precision.

He would fuck her every night, while I would fuck her every morning (unless she was too tired or her pussy was too sensitive). She only let me do her anally on special occasions. I would fuck her with her and Shane's sex tapes playing in the background. She'd act bored and quiet with me (at my instruction) but wild and loud for him. She even told me how inferior I was (which I didn't ask her to do... good initiative on her part).

Her and Shane's sex tapes were incredible. They got through loads of positions... some pretty wacky ones too. Lucy was becoming very flexible.

One thing that struck me was how often she gushed in orgasm with him. Bucket loads of fluids squirted from her pussy. Our dry cleaners must've loved us!

I'd only made her squirt once or twice, and nowhere near the amount she did with him. With me, she'd squirt and then want no further contact with my dick due to discomfort. With him, he'd momentarily apply pressure on her clit and somehow that allowed her to have multiple orgasms. I learned a lot from Shane that I am now using on my current girlfriend Hayley.


[PART TWO COMING TOMORROW]
JayandHayley

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#2
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Let me just backtrack and explain how Lucy and Shane got together.

He approached her in the gym and offered permisteral training. She was instantly attracted to him but felt he was rude so she initially declined.

She always saw him around the gym during her next few sessions, and became really curious about him although he seemed like a jerk. She attended more and more frequently and kept having 'moments' (prolongued eye contact) with Shane.

Soon after, she asked him if she could have a trial session, but he told her he was fully booked for a while. This put her in persuer mode. She asked another two times before he finally could fit her in.

In their first session, she began to see beyond his asshole permistera and experienced his charm and humour. He was incredibly obvious in showing his interest in her - checking her out while she exercised, complimenting her figure and standing very close to her. She was flattered, but thought he was doing it to all the other women in the gym, so she didn't think his interest was geniune. More like a tactic to keep her coming back.

She would think about him sexually - fingering herself to the thought of him, imagining him while in bed with me, etc.

One session, she decided to be more sexy (bending over with her ass out, wearing extremely tight shorts and low-cut top, making gasping noises while doing weights). Her aim was to get him hard, just for fun. Soon enough her plan worked. He was standing there unashamedly in the gym, sporting a massive erect bulge. She couldn't take her eyes of it all session. The fact that he was so comfortable with being hard in public, and the sheer enormity of her dick shifted him in her mind from 'hot guy I flirt with' to 'hot guy I wanna fuck'.

The next session, they kept 'accidentally' brushing up to each other. He spotted her for a shoulder press by standing straight behind her (her ass in his crotch). He got hard and she felt it rub up against her crack. She jumped up and turned around to face him in shock. He then led her to the isolated (and empty) punch bag/gym mat section where they proceeded to kiss passionately.

Another client caught them kissing, so Shane took her upstairs to his sports massage room (no one was there) and fucked her senseless. She said his cock hurt like hell first time. She experienced great pleasure but extreme pain.

The next permisteral training session, she told Shane she couldn't continue their fling because she had a boyfriend (me) who she loved too much to hurt. He simply said 'OK'. Twenty minutes later, he took her back up to the massage room and undressed her. She protested but he didn't relent. She was so aroused by how in control he was. This time the pain was far less.
JayandHayley

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Back to the arrangement between Lucy, Shane and I.

I kept out of Shane's way as much as I could, but met him a few times. He was an absolute dickhead - a bit of an arrogant bully. He was more charming to Lucy but still was mean to her.

Shane phoned me on my 26th birthday and thanked me for leaving him and Lucy to it. He wanted to thank me with a gift.

He had recently been seeing another woman, Anne. Anne was 19 and another of Shane's gym clients. She had been recently threesomed with he and Lucy (round his house, not mine).

He told me he'd let me relax with Anne and Lucy later that night. Obviously I accepted.

Anne showed up with Shane. She was stunning. Slightly less cute than Lucy but sexier. Imagine a young Natasha Henstridge with Monica Bellucci's ass. (BTW, Lucy looked like Drew Barrymore as a brunette while Shane looked like soccer player Freddie Ljungberg).

Anne lacked Lucy's sweetness. In fact, she was a bitch with attitude. But I was delighted when she and Lucy led me up the stairs while Shane stayed in the lounge. The image of their asses going upstairs will forever be ingrained in my mind.

In the bedroom, they pushed me to the floor and handcuffed me to the radiator (attached to the wall so I couldn't move). Then they got in bed and started kissing each other. It was fucking hot.

Anne came over to me, took my jeans and boxers off and started giving me a lapdance. I tried groping her with my one free hand but she kept slapping it away, saying 'naughty boy'. Lucy sat on the bed watching.

Then Shane walked in. He asked me how I was enjoyed my present. I was bemused at the word 'enjoyed' (past tense) but answered 'it's amazing'.

Anne moved away from me and jumped on Shane. Lucy joined in.

They kissed him passionately and stripped him naked. I kept asking what was going on, but Anne said 'keep quiet little boy'. Both girls were complimenting Shane as they sucked his huge penis (which I swore got bigger every time I saw it). Anne kept directing derogatory comments at me.

He fucked them both while I looked on in envy and frustration. I swear - if it was released as porn it would have won best scene at the AVN awards. I didn't think this sort of thing happened in real life til that day. From what I've heard, these sexual feats are regular occurences for Shane. One of the perks of being a good looking permisteral trainer, I suppose.

Anne was somewhat less vocal than Lucy (but still a screamer). I was stunned by how she was a tough bitch with me but all submissive and girly with Shane.

Then came the most humiliating experience of my life. While the girls lay on the bed in satisfaction, Shane came over to me and waved his monsterous rod in my face. He said 'I own Lucy. You're gone'.

I took a suck of his dick. I'm not gay, and I maintain that I'm not bisexual, but it was just a curious, heat of the moment type thing. To be honest, I really regret doing it.

He roared 'get the fuck off' and smacked me round the side of the head. It hurt like hell, but my ego was more bruised. He took Anne and left abruptly.

Lucy let me out of the cuffs and asked me if I liked that. I said no and shouted at her. She hadn't pissed me off. I was just trying to save face I guess.

The next evening, Lucy sat down and explained that she had to finish with me. Shane had made her choose between her and him, and she chose him. She apologised but hoped we could be friends. It was upsetting, but not as bad as I thought it would be. In truth, I knew this was coming ever since that night I first overheard her and Shane fucking.

I didn't see her for a few weeks but we exchanged friendly text messages and a couple of phone calls.

Then, one Tuesday night she appears at my door with her bags and teary eyes. She asked to move back in.

Shane had dumped her. He gave no explanation, except 'I'm bored with you'. I reckon he did it because he lost the thrill/bad boy feeling that fucking a girl with a boyfriend gave him.

Lucy was miserable for the next few weeks but I was there to console her. She became my damsel in distress.

Although I loved that we'd got our intimacy back, I missed the sexual heat of her fucking another guy. We agreed to do it again, but in a controlled environment. She wouldn't cheat on me and wouldn't get emotionally attached to the men she'd fuck. It would be all one night stands that we'd orchestrate together.

Over the next two months, we arranged lots of crazy cuckold scenarios.

We tried various things. We asked one guy (that Lucy thought was hot) if he'd fuck her with me watching. It actually happened, and was my first time of watching an entire sex session in the flesh.

One cool thing we did was go to a gym (not the one Shane worked at). I did laps in the pool while Lucy went into the sauna and just started sucking a black guy off in there. Apparently, she didn't say one word to him - just did it. He resisted at first but soon let her devour his cock (she said it was halfway between Shane's size and mine). I then walked in while they just started fucking. I said 'Lucy, what the fuck are you doing?' but she just carried on (my hottest fantasy since the earlier incident when I first caught her and Shane fuck).

Sadly, the black guy said 'I'm sorry man' and walked out. I was hoping he'd be a real man like Shane and keep plowing.

The best night during this time is when I made Lucy hit on a stud in the club while I went to the bar. When I returned, she acted all innocent. While dancing with me, she blatently was checking him out. I went to the toilet, then returned to find her kissing him and his hands were all over her little ass. She'd told him to win her off me, and he adapted to 'asshole that steals guy's girlfriends' role very well.

I watched them get x-rated on the dancefloor (he fingered her, she grabbed his cock out of his pants... wonder if anyone else noticed) before leaving in faked annoyance. I got a cab back home and waited in the spare bedroom. An hour later, she came home with the club stud and he fucked her silly.

I even watched her get gangbanged by three larger louts. That wasn't too sexy, really.

These experiences happened regularly in two months. Lucy only got rejected once (by some guy claiming it was 'immoral') but generally the guys were very easily persuaded by her charms.

These two months were fun in that we were acting out fantasies and we were using team work to bring them to fruition. It brought us closer. However, the sex wasn't as hot. It felt more 'staged' as Lucy was faking sex noises rather than naturally screaming like she did with Shane. In fact, none of the guys were anywhere near Shane. She screwed some guys that would make girls (and some guys) drool but Shane was head and shoulders above them all.

Although having fun, Lucy was still not over Shane. She got very emotional and pretty much started stalking him. He gave her the cold shoulder.

After breakfast one morning, I asked her if Shane took her back but demanded she leave me, would she do it? She gave a resounding yes. I was furious - after all the cuckolds brownie he put her through, why would she still choose him?

We got into a huge argument and broke up. That was in November.

Since then, I have built up my self esteem and found a lovely girl called Hayley. We're getting on wonderfully and admitted our love for each other on Valentine's Day.

I hadn't fantasised about her with other men until two weeks ago. I bumped into Lucy while out shopping and all the memories came flooding back. Lucy told me that since we split up, her and Shane have had a one night stand but he's still rejecting her. She's obsessed with him.

That's causing me to want to repeat the cuckold thing with Hayley. My heart doesn't want to (because it broke the bond between Lucy and I) but my penis is emphatically for the idea.

While making love to her, I keep imagining that Shane is fucking Hayley and she's enjoying it way more than with me. I constantly run scenarios through my head about Hayley joining Shane's gym and getting seduced by him.

I've thought about paying Shane to hit on Hayley. If she accepts his advances, I'll get to repeat the whole experience with her in Lucy's place. If she declines, I'll know that she's 'the one' because she's rejected the hottest guy on the planet (in my opinion). Then, I'd probably marry her. So either way I can't lose.

What are your views? I really need some advice. Do you think being cuckold again would hurt mine and Hayley's relationship? Could it also harm my newly gained self esteem?

Thanks.
JayandHayley

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Update - Last night, Hayley and I had sex with porn in the background. I had her in doggy style position while we both watched. It was a scene between Julian and Paulina James. Hayley was very turned on by Julian - it definately seems that she's interested in a muscle-bound, big dicked stud.

I'm still unsure if I want us to go in this direction, though.
Keyless

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Hot story, Jay!
cuckldhuby

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I loved the story...............it seems in all but 1relationship I've had my partner sooner or later started fucking other guys with my knowledge. I guess I just love.
JayandHayley

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I got over my doubt and rang Shane a few nights ago. He's agreed to seduce Hayley and I'll be giving him some money in return. I told him I don't think he can seduce Hayley because she's besotted by me. I think that appealed to his macho competitive streak.

After a fair bit of effort I've gotten Hayley to switch gyms. This morning she went for a gym induction which I booked, with... guess who? Shane of course.

She returned home in a really good mood and we had amazing sex earlier. Her pussy was dripping wet without any foreplay.

I asked her how the induction went and she said 'really well' with a glint in her eye.

I rang Shane with half-dread and half-excitement. He told me to use my imagination about how well he and Hayley got on. He says she's hotter than Lucy in every way.

I don't think he fucked her but he's left an impression on her. I can just tell. She's like a giggly girl this evening. That's just like what Lucy was like when Shane started boning her. Real attraction = age regression. Any of you other cucks found that your wives/partners seem younger and more feminine when they find a bull?

I think I'm starting to accept that this is just who I am. A cuck.
JayandHayley

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Something major happened.

Hayley came home from the gym today in a hell of a mood. She knows the whole thing and powerd me to admit it.

Shane hit on her but Hayley turned him down. She said she would be attracted to him if she was single but she loves me and has absolutely no desire to cheat.

The problem is that wounded Shane's ego so he told her about the whole thing - about Lucy, my cuckold fetish and how I'd paid him to seduce Hayley.

Hayley cried her eyes out when I confessed. It felt like our hearts both broke simultaneously.

She's gone back to live with her ex-housemates. She needs time to think about things. She's hurt that I'd want another guy to relax with her.

I just don't know what to do.

On one hand, I'm delighted that she's been loyal to me. My love for her has just gone through the roof. I want to marry her.

I hope I haven't lost her. I'd be devastated if I have.

Any advice would be much appreciated.
JayandHayley

Member

Posts: 9
#9 · Edited by: JayandHayley
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Sorry. Double post.
JayandHayley

Member

Posts: 9
#10
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Phew.

Hayley's come back home. She told me she loves me but won't do any cuckolding. The idea arouses her but she listens to her heart over her pussy every time and it's strongly against her heart's wishes. We've determined that it's against my heart's wishes too.

It's weird how I never had any cuckold desires early in our relationship. Seeing Lucy again made those desires come flooding back. I think this is because Lucy is a painful memory and seeing her again knocked my self esteem.

It's my belief that cuckoldry is self-esteem related. I hope none of you get offended by that... maybe some of you have great self-esteem, I don't know.

I guess I've always been able to attract beautiful women but never felt worthy of them. That's partly what causes me to fantasise about them with other men.

I think cuckold desires are biologically imprinted on us. Read 'The Sperm Wars' by Robin Baker. Our dicks get harder and we cum quicker with more intensity because our sperm is competing with rival sperm to get to the woman's egg.

That said, when we completely accept and love ourselves, we know that we can choose a higher road. It's not about surpressing our desires, it's about following our hearts over our dicks.

Hayley now understands my position. We had a pretty honest conversation. She's gonna do her best to raise my self-esteem and make me feel worthy of her. She has vowed not to put me in any sort of position of jealousy/paranoia that might make these desires return to the forefront of my mind.

I'm so happy that I'm with such an amazing woman. She's been into metaphysics since she was a teenager (reading books by the likes of Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra) and meditates every day. She has unbelievable mental strength and love.

I want to marry her. I really do. Just have to completely transcend this cuckoldry stuff.

I'm not going to be posting any more, guys. Respect to you and your path, but it's not for me.
brainbox1

Member

Posts: 2133
#11
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I think you should give in to your desires and keep encourging your GF to cuckold you with Shane! It seems likely that over time she will give in and you will enjoy the experience
goodtimes618

Member

Posts: 329 Pictures: 10 
#12 
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I took a suck of his dick... To be honest, I really regret doing it.

Whatever, man. We both know you're going to be jerking off to thoughts of Shane's dick in your wife's pussy and your mouth. Don't beat yourself up about it.

What you should understand, though, is that everything has changed forever between you and your girl. She is only pretending that you meet her needs, and the next time a studly guy gets her pussy wet, she's going to be his. Your denial and pseudo-science justifications don't make your pretty girl any less of a slut for dominant men. That's just how it is; you might as well accept.
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