unwittingly been cuckold - any advice

I think that"wtf" is more on top of his game than overwhelmed

UHHHH.....IS THIS NOT ACUCKOLDS FORUM???!!! THE PREMISE IS THAT IT TURNS US ON?!!
Supposing that the story is real;.....overwhelmed, I would ask you if your gf's cheating doesn't turn you on?? This is by definition what being cuckolded means!!! Granted, the majority of "players"...oops wrong term... participants (or in our case non-participants) would have the fucking/sucking et al be under our control and with our consent. This is not always the case,all scenarios and situations are different, but the common denominator is the fact that wives/gfs get fucked by others while we....what?....DEAL WITH IT!!!
If I might offer a bit of avuncular advice( at the risk of sounding like a monkeys uncle)....If your leanings are being passive and non-confrontational,my guess is that you've found your true calling at an earlier age than most and HAVE FOUND YOUR SOULSLUT!!!!!!!
Sure,you feel betrayed, used, less of a man, jealous and pissed!!!
Ask yourself if there is an excitement and exhilaration that is part of the mix.
If so I would embrace the experience to the best of(both of) your abilities!!
Just my degenerate and perverse opinion of course Sincerely hope you do what makes you fulfilled and satisfied!
Who's Your Bitch.single,cuz not man enuf to attract a woman.
Will meet for sissy sex with yor cuck!!

AND REGARDING THIS (eerily similar) thread.... i guess I'm more cynical than most,but I found this set of circumstances more fantastical than overwhelmeds'!!!!! Just seems that if it's real it wouldn't have been written that way? Seemed staged?
Also, a "real" cuckold would have KISSED HER ASS!!!!(and offered to kiss his too)
Who's Your Bitch.single,cuz not man enuf to attract a woman.
Will meet for sissy sex with yor cuck!!

Me thinks he'll be "real" soon enough.

half? more like 98%

but like the rest, I enjoy the reading.

She will be out of my life soon, but I know it will be a while before I don't think of her, in the way I do now.

overwhelmed:

Why the concern over a show of normalcy? She hasn't had any concern over such a show. The cousin's youngren will be cut off from her anyway. Better to get the separation for them and you NOW. In case you haven't heard me and Diamondmaker69 earlier, DUMP HER NOW. The longer you wait, the bigger the fool you become to everyone else, including the youngren when they are older and understand.

You will eventually get over her, may even laugh about it someday. But only after you have healed. Diamondmaker69 has a good suggestion. Get professional help. You need to go to a shrink. Just the time telling him (make sure it is a male shrink; I once made the mistake of agreeing to a female, and she actually made things much worse between me and the wife) will be so releasing and healing that after each session, you will be feeling a bit better. The cost is worth it even if your insurance won't cover it (it probably will pay for most of it, though).

Get her out of your life now. Waste no more time on her.

Keep us up to date until you have healed. Good luck.

I think you should go on that vacation and have a great time like you always do! After that, just take it one day at a time. No question she's going to keep fucking other guys and also no question you're going to keep getting off on it. It seems your more concerned with what other people think than what you do. So anyway, I guess I've changed my mind about what you should do based upon your last post.
My guess is even if you got a new g/f she would be the same way. It might be that that flirtatiousness she has is what turns you on. Sex is only part of the equation. It might be that she just sees you as the perfect guy for her- someone she can be comfortable with, settle down, have kids, etc. I know this one girl I spoke of before has three beautiful youngren and they all look just like the old man! He's a very well respected guy- very smart, active in the community. Obviously there are only a few people who know the truth about his wife. He's kind of suspicious sometimes but basically is totally clueless. Maybe your lady just wanted you to know who she was before she married you and wanted you to accept her for who she is. Maybe you can work through that with her and let her know more about who you are.
As for the guy you bought the take for, he's probably got a lot more respect for you now than he did before. Because of the way you were acting, he now knows that you know and you still bought him the take. Maybe that will be a turn on for him next time he's doing your girl, but he's probably just as concerned about other people finding out about what happened as you are. In the business context, its not a good thing to be known as a masher. I never talk about my permisteral life (sex) with anybody unless there's a need to know. Being a guy who fucks married women is not a good reputation to have. Actually, its worse than being a cuck.
bullcock

overwhelmed.....Since you're dumping her anyway, why not take advantage of theCape and bring her to situations where she'll have opportunity to cuck you again???!!! Why should you care now,who she fucks, except for fodder for the kind of thing everybody here desires???!!!! Knowing that she is whoring, while she thinks that she is getting away with something will be a way to take back some control via the subtle art of "topping from the bottom"!!! Let her be the cheating slut that she has proven to be!!! This will also be a gauge of your own psychology as regards this entire theme!
You did after all seek comment and advice from this "Place" and not Dr Phil!!!
Not trying to be flippant now either (for a change) but sincerely think that a core part of you really craves this scene!!! Please tell me if i'm way off base.....I've certainly been wrong b4 and i'm sure i will be anon.
Who's Your Bitch.single,cuz not man enuf to attract a woman.
Will meet for sissy sex with yor cuck!!

Overwhelmed. I can't believe you have not left her already. I've read your first post in 2006. You need to leave her NOW! Don't wait another month. Your only hurting yourself. Do you even see how this is affecting you mentally? If you really love her then you will do the right thing and leave her. If she really loves you she will come back, if not then you know she never really did love you. This is only for your own good.

I think Overwealmed gets the point people are making about dumping the girl. This has been suggested to him over and over for the last 8 months. He hasnt done it. In fact now he's talking about the fact that he's jerking off, regrets throwing away the disc, etc. Maybe he needs more suggestions from the guys in the know about how to live his life as a Cuck..I was all for him leaving the girl too, but that is not going to be happening. If he ends up dumping her, I'll be the first to congratulate him. The thing most Cucks don't realize is that there are litrally billions of girls on the planet and they are all expendable. The Cuck will just focus on that one girl and will do anything to keep her. I'm not saying its right, its just the way it is.
bullcock

bullcock2222 is mostly right. overwhelmed does hear our advice about dumping her.

Given what has happened and not happened, this is what I think may well be his future: What we are telling him about why he should dump her may just be so many words that mean nothing to him (not yet, anyway). He is so focused on her that he is not even letting himself into the whole picture. It will happen eventually, though. Then he will rationalize not dumping her still by saying it is too hard or he has too much invested in her. Eventually, that, too, will pass. By then, months or years will have passed, having been a "reliable" cuckold all along for her. His evolution into a good cuck will seem the natural thing for him and he will accept it by default. There will be youngren, some on them may even be his. In about 10 or 20 years, he will fully realize what a fool he is, and begin to wander through some of those "billions" of other expendable girls, his wife will discover it and blame him all the more, maybe even kick him out. And the cycle will repeat.

Seems to be a bleak future for him, but that's what he's is setting himself up to be. If he doesn't snap out of it immediately, he never will.

overwhelmed, time to do the right thing for yourself. It's now or never. Fish or cut bait. Shit or get off the pot. There is no in-between route.

"""""""Until you walk a mile in my shoes, don't judge me or even think you know what the answer is to my situation""""""""

So, unless I jump off a bridge, I can't comment as to what I think will happen when you hit bottom?

Unless I have had someone shove a hot poker up my ass, I won't know that it will hurt?

Unless, I have permisterally given a three time convicted pedophile a chance to babysit my preteen mister, I can't comment that I think it's the wrong thing to do?

Baloney.


But beyond that, I used to work in private investigations, I was mostly corporate espionage but I did do my fair share of spouse shadowing and dealt with hundreds of couples dealing with infidelity matters. I admit I'm no expert or psychologist but my experience has shown that the best thing to do with cheaters is kick them to the curb and don't look back. Cut your losses and find someone else who is honest and respects you and treats you well.

And I've also noticed that the type of permister who sticks with them and puts up with their cheating has a self-destructive nature and is a co-enabler. (but I hate to use PC words). So this guy will probably stick with her due to his low self-esteem and incorrect belief that he can't find or doesn't deserve anyone better.

People around you will treat you and get away with whatever you let them. Healthy people set guidelines and boundaries.

Boy, oh boy have I learned that lesmister, with the cheating, bitching wife and with my bosses at work. They don't look out, or give a damn, for anyone but themselves if you let them. Being the "nice guy" for all these decades made me the perfect target for them. After years of allowing that to happen to me, I found that not only was it very difficult to break my own bad response habits, it was almost impossible to break the wife's/boss' habits of piling the cuckolds brownie on me and expecting to get away with it. At work, it took 15 years (yes, I'm that stubborn) to reach success after a mere seven years of use with no loud complaint from me. During that time, I outlasted five CEOs and seven middle management officers. At home, the third threat of divorce in 10 years required a very explicit set of imposed rules and boundaries, the statement "One more screw up of any kind and you will find yourself buck naked on the curb so fast you won't know how you got there," and an explicit affair with a wonderful woman (I was assuming divorce would in fact happen) that was really going somewhere before the wife gave in. In both situations, I am now spiritually and financially willing to yet cut my losses.

All those years, I was not a psychologically healthy permister at all. Now I am. I live and work by my rules now, and don't give a damn about others' opinions. I operate under the proper version of the Golden Rule: Don't do to others that which you would not have them do to you.


I have walked many a mile in his shoes, tried all sort of nice guy answers that utterly failed, and received no respect until I put my foot down and asserted myself in my own permisteral and professional life. It's a foul way of having to deal with people, it made me physically ill sometimes to carry through with it, but that seems to be the way of the world.

Been there, done that. Don't want to do it again. Won't let it.

A true mark of maturity is learning from our mistakes and from those of others'. overwhelmed came to us for advice (it's in his title for this forum). We are basing our advice to him on our experiences. He could yet pull his ass out of the fire and live to be stronger and wiser.

Good post, drfarmer, and I agree. Took me a while too. I was a whimpy, Mr. Nice Guy for many years and women walked all over me.

But a lot of guys think that in order to not be a wimpy Mr. Nice Guy you have to be an asshole. That's not true. You have to be mature, confident, polite, but firm in your boundaries. The saying of 'do unto others' is very true. If you treat her with honesty and respect, you should expect the same from her.

A guy online that is spot on about how you should act around women and treat them and how to figure out their behaviors is

doclove.com

He writes articles, does a radio show and sells books about his 'system'. It really opened my eyes years ago and helped me land a beautiful woman who loves to swing too. I couldn't be happier. I never let women walk over me or give me cuckolds brownie at all and I always treat them very well in return.

(and just in case you think I'm spamming him, you can download his stuff on limewire for free! shhhhhhhh! )

Thanks, jamesricke, for pointing out what I should have said in my own post.

Also, Doc Love is the second source of advice I have used since January '07 in dealing with the wife, the first being these forums here. Again, thanks. I should point out that the Don Juan manuals from The hyperlink is visible to registered members only! have been very insightful. I haven't used those techniques (much) but it is fun to watch guys using them on women in the bars and elsewhere.

I'll check him out, thanks.

David DeAngelo has some great techniques for picking up women. He's good for younger guys to pick up women and get phone numbers and dates.

Doc Love is more for mature guys wanting relationships.

Glad that you use Doc Love.