My wife (I'll call her Joani) and I have explored the fetish of cuckolding for years now. We've been together for over twenty years, and she's evolved through various forms of hottieness, and is just as sexy now as when she was in high school when we first started dating. So sexy in fact, that she scares off a lot of guys, probably just as much from her attitude as her looks, and I adore both!
We've tried a lot of ways of getting her to flirt with and engage other men, but, sadly, it seems that too many have taken the idea of metrosexual way too far to turn her on. Sometimes she will be interested in a guy by smell, and then turn around and the guy can't keep up a conversation or weakens in some obvious way. It is almost if society has drained these guys of their masculinity. And, although there are some guys who would make the cut physically and emotionally, they just can't hang mentally. She is a brilliant chick, and has to respect a guy's mind before she can feel anything for him. I think it is an evolutionary thing that she can't get into the idea of having sex unless the kid has a chance to be a triple threat (looks, attitude, brains).
This is not to say that she is a bitch. Not at all. She is essentially a guy's girl, and great to hang out with, super sweet, into sex, and a *******er smart ass. And a real nice ass, a sweet waistline and a cute little belly that is nice to watch when she is dancing for me.
So along the way, after lots of time fantasizing about this lifestyle, and checking out the websites, and various forms of play in the bedroom, I've come to realize that my own permisteral enjoyment of cuckolding comes from identifying with the bull in the stories, rather than the cuckold.
And for her, sexual pleasure seems to be rooted in the idea of being owned by me. We've been through a lot of ups and downs, and have both been a rock, albeit with the normal amount of chips and dings, for each other that the idea of another guy coming close to measuring up in her eyes is almost kind of silly to her, as there just wouldn't be that depth and history.
And, while she's been flirting with other guys, I've been flirting with other women, both in front of her and alone.
She enjoys the idea of another fantasy guy, but something that seems to really turn her on and lets her, well, let go, is the idea that she is having to fuck another guy because I am making her do it.
A typical fun scenario is that I put a noose around her neck, engage in a little bit of petting (more later), fetish her a little bit (which always sends her into subspace, but is a HUGE responsibility for me), and then I make her "earn" the right to fuck her huge dildo by being a "good girl" first. Being a "good girl" takes on a bewildering array of forms that are too numerous to list here.
One thing she HATES to do is talk about her wildness during sex, as it spoils the mood for her if I ask "do you like that?", "do you like this?", as well as outside of sex as she gets a little embarrassed about talking about being such a slut. Along the way I've learned to cut WAY back on the "data oriented guy" and try to focus on what her body is saying instead of her mind, and it always works better like that. One thing that seems to bore into her soul is simple eye-contact, combined with a cocky smirk that always cuts straight through her own cocky attitude, that same attitude which scares so many guys away.
It is only natural that some of these s*******s that she has taught me have started to leak over onto other women. We run our own business, and I have an enormous amount of freedom to be wherever I want whenever I want, and that naturally leads to a lot of contact with a variety of women.
For many years, I have enjoyed contact with other women, but had felt a little awkward in approaching them because of the feelings of loyalty I have for Joani, not wanting to hurt or impugn her in any way. This led to a certain amount of guilt, which expressed itself in turn in awkward relationships with other women.
It is often said on some of these forums that some cuckolds have an inner desire to have sex with women other than their wife, and that they use hotwifing and cuckolding as a way of removing the guilt of thinking about being with other women. I suppose to some extent that would be true of me, although I did get kind of turned on by the idea of chastity belts and orgasm denial, half as a sort of pennance for my urges and half as something else I'll discuss at another time.
So, after some self-reflection, I came to the realization some time ago that if I want to have sex with other women, then I should just be honest with myself and with Joani that this is the case, and not try to manipulate her into it with any kind of cuckold subterfuge. Too my surprise, she not only wasn't angry with me for this, but it actually seemed to cause her to drift to a new level of presentation. It is not the path she would have chosen by any stretch of the imagination, and it doesn't directly turn her on sexually by any means, but there is now an unexpected depth to our relationship that wasn't there before.
Another surprising side-effect of this self-revelation is that I now view other couples differently than before. In the past, I used to think of other couples where the woman was apparently the stronger in terms of "wow, I bet SHE would cuckold him". Now I think in terms of "maybe I can get her to cuckold him", and more recently it has evolved into "I would like to play with her", with no thought of the husband's benefit at all.
I used to be disturbed by the metrosexual trend that has taken root, thinking "where are all the men?" Now I think, "look at all those needy wives". I take a certain pleasure, no longer guilty, in approaching a cute woman, whether a guy is with her or not, and striking up a conversation. Don't be fooled, none of these encounters have yet let to sex or even anything more than casual petting. And I'm not sure that it matters if it ever does. In many ways, the flirting, eye contact, laughing, arm, hair and back touching with the wife is emotionally satisfying enough. For now.
And the unmistakable emotional stomach-punch :shame: it delivers to some of the poor hubbies is like takeing from a cool fountain, particularly when the wife seems to forget he is around. The funny thing about this situation is that there is absolutely no interest on my part that the wife leave the husband, or to even damage their relationship. That would spoil the fun for everyone. If there is any damage to the relationship, it is already there before I show up. I just push the alarm button. The poor guy probably never realizes that he is the one twisting the knife in his gut himself, not me, and that showing jealousy around his wife is the WORST possible thing to do that can weaken his relationship with her.
This situation is even more fun when the guy actively moves away from the encounter, leaving his wife to me. This seems to be a clear signal that at least he is into the lifestyle, although she may not understand this, given the sometimes bewildered confusion of "where did dickless just run off to?"
And the effect these encounters have on my wife, the other cuckold, is an entire subject by itself...
I'm interested in hearing the thoughts of others about this journey. One aspect I am trying to learn right now is judging the eye contact and other subtle body language, to determine who might be in this lifestyle. I know about the anklets and other clearly mechanistic symbology, but I think there is a lot more fun in unwrapping that emotional package through natural interaction, rather than putting out ads, like anklets, and seeing who answers.
Before I go, let me say that much of what I say may sound harsh, but I have no interest in hurting anyone's feelings. Like I said, the best interactions are the one in which hubby willingly retires leaving his wife. And I certainly never wish that a relationship be broken by my efforts. But I am coming to the conclusion that there must be a certain amount of raw naturalistic pursuit, with hubby falling victim to his own foolishness, and wifey having a natural reaction to that foolishness.
I deeply respect all posters, even the flamers, as I think everyone has the right to express their opinions passionately, and we can take value in those opinions
. Just as I have a right to ignore them and passionately pursue my natural desires ;)
