Please Help! I hate that I Love Cuckold.

I haven't found a thread here that talks about the phsychiatric point of view of why I fantasize on such a high level to be cuckolded. I hate it that I get so turned on by this, and it has ruined so much of my intimate life. I am in my early forties, white guy (why is it always white guys that wanna watch their woman with a black guy and humiliate them, its never a black guy that wants to be cuckolded/femdom-ized) I understand the connection to femdom somewhat, and have always been hugely turned on by the whole femdom/women in leather/spanking/blah blah, but why this too? what is the attraction? why am i cursed with this affliction??? It is ruining my life, and i wonder if there is anyone out there who truly feels the same. I have considered going to a shrink but am too ashamed. I know I am not gay, i have no desire whatsoever to be with a guy, and i have never been attracted to a guy, and would only want to be around a guy if a woman was present sexually and she was the focus. what is the deal with licking the cum afterwards? what is that crap all about? why is that a turn on? its disgusting to me when i think of it if a woman wasnt present..? i dont get it. yes i come from a broken home, raised by my mom, yes i get the whole 'safety/intimacy/dominant femdom sex attraction connection to that.. but why this on top? I know a girl that is totally willing to entertain all this, but as soon as i've 'pleasured myself to that fantasy, i dont want to entertain being with her and giving up the life i have with my vanilla girl (who is majorly vanilla, and submissive and doesnt interest me in this.) My life would be so much easier if i just had a plain old foot fetish, or boob fetish, and I hate to be on a 'downer topic here', but how do i get rid of this desire?

Incoming huge post.

I only recently became a member to explore this side of me which I find disturbing as to why I like it as well. I'm 26 and my interracial fetish started when I began college after seeing a lexington steele vid with april flowers. I was a mildy "racist" permister ( not outwardly hating as I had black friends but more or less offended by rampant cultural stupidity that afflicts large percentages of them. This same phenomenon also goes for whites in the south ). I was like "wtf is this cuckolds brownie?" at first but than a part of me deep rooted down clicked. I was disgusted with myself becoming so attracted to interracial porn ( 100% of it being white female, black male ) that I took to discussing it anonymously through forums and other places like yourself. Heres what I found after years of looking at myself.

You see people are attracted to the mysterious. Case in point, men can walk around topless and its no big deal. Since a woman's top is always covered it becomes mysterious. You more or less know exactly whats underneath there but you WANT to see since its deemed special to see them. Another would be the mystery of doing haves like marijuana. If it was legal and sold on corner stores no one would give two cuckolds brownies about it. Beer is mysterious until you come of takeing age then see cuckolds browniety beers in a fridge and don't give a damn one way or another but if that 16 year old version you looked at that coors light you would want to KNOW. It goes the same for everything I think. I was raised not strictly but urged by my lady ( dad passed away when I was in 4th grade ) to play it safe and stick to your own race. I grew up believing it and I have a great white gf even now who I love. But the MYSTERY of things denied or buried by you have a way of coming up. I talked to a girl who was a "Lady of the night" at a bar in Brooklyn once and informed me the most fucked up sexually deviated people she ever had to deal with were Hasidic jews ( super repressed sexually by their religion and dress in suits with top hats and curls ). The list goes on and on.

Once you know this tidbit of information you have to start looking at yourself and asking what makes it so mysterious to me? For some guys its that they have a small dick. They look at porn and see a skewed view of women erupting in pleasure as a hung dude rails into them, they know they can never get that reaction from her but they WANT IT. Some men are extremely homophobic and just as some republicans can be a shining example and a study The hyperlink is visible to registered members only! they deny themselves an experience and decide to live it out vicariously through their wife/gf. You could of been racist your whole life or raised in a household that is and this is a form of living out what was denied to you, either way its all stems from somewhere.

For me, I enjoyed interracial for the fact I grew up with a dislike for being around blacks. I was in a highly mixed neighborhood and when I saw a black man with a white wife/gf I thought in my head "disgusting". Turns out though that the very cultural taboo I built myself sabotaged me. I get the thought in my head that "there they are, our beautiful white women, offering themselves willingly to suck and fuck a black man, this is what we DESERVE." I started to fall down into the pit of wanting to be a cuck to a black guy after an experience passed me by that I detailed on reddit a bit The hyperlink is visible to registered members only!.

Suddenly not only did I enjoy watching white women get fucked but I wanted MY girlfriend to get fucked. I trace it even further down to what some people call "Catholic Guilt". I was raised Catholic though since HS I no longer have any faith and was raised with a very conservative view on sexuality, reinpowerd by my lady. After a black mutual friend hinted at loving my girlfriends body over takes it hit me some months later. Kids are raised through school knowing all about how America's cotton industry and the wealth of the south was created on the backs of slaves shipped in from Africa. The horrible conditions, the emotional and physical ***s we put them through etc. To anyone with a shred of empathy that cuckolds brownie sticks to you. I feel that letting a less off black guy fuck my girlfriend is a form of repayment for some debt we still owe. Lets face it, almost all the interracial cuckold stuff centers around the black guy being ghetto or thug. Do you want an MIT graduate well spoken and educated black guy having sex with your wife? No. You want a THUG whos only goal in life is pussy and hes got a huge dick , you want to give him what he wants and you want to give your wife what she wants cause you wanna see her screaming in pleasure as shes getting fucked. Before I had the fantasy my girlfriend talked about cuckholding ( not cucking me ) and said "Its really the cuck who has the power, hes allowing his woman to have sex with other people but keeping her for himself and hes getting off to the whole thing just as much or if not more than the others". She could be right she could be wrong but its damn spot on for me.

Short Version:
I was denied interracial relationships when I was young and viewed the idea disgusting on my own. Whats denied early in life becomes what you want later in life. Remember that if you have kids. Not saying to have them fuck a black guy but let them know you would have no problem WHOEVER they bring home.

I hope you gained some insight from all this

I too share the same curse. I'm late 20s also white and am not in the least bit gay. I've from an early age been into some mild forms of femdom mostly oral fixations such as worshipping a womans pussy, ass, and even feet. I never knew the term cuckold until about 2006 and that's pretty much the time I really got so into this disgusting and perverse fetish.

I've had a girlfriend in the past that cheated on me and I stayed with her but at the time the thought of her being with another man disturbed me and did not turn me on. Now despite the fact I'm married, with youngren, I can't stop thinking about her and the times she made me eat her fucked cunt or make me submit to her for her sexual enjoyment.

I too would like to seek help and try and be normal because its not normal what I'm doing. When I jackoff its 99% cuckold. When I have sex with my wife I'm thinking either about her cucking me, my ex cucking me, or some porn from this site or others like it that relates to cuckolding. Immediately after I ejaculate I feel disgusted at the thought. I would never let a negro fuck my woman they repulse me so for me its not interracial whatsoever. The bull always remains nameless and faceless. Its just a cock that bigger and better than mine and the thought of a woman enjoying herself on it as well as my servitude towards her.

I hope your thread brings in some good insight because its hard to get a good discussion like this here.
Ronald Curry

"Immediately after I ejaculate I feel disgusted at the thought."
This is a classic case of repression. You desire it but you deny it and the moment you regain self control the walls of your social construct come right back up.

"I would never let a negro fuck my woman they repulse me so for me its not interracial whatsoever"
Yet here you are in the interracial section of the forum my friend! You seem to contradict yourself.

I'm not picking on you just saying the more we deny our fantasies the deeper and darker that hole becomes ( Because shes getting fucked by a big black cock get it? hohoho). Joking aside, a cuckold fantasy is nothing new and its harmless really, you could be getting off on some serious cuckolds brownie like obligation people or torturing them! Imagine being that permister and having to deal with that. I only subscribed to this site last week and the more I accept the fact I am what I am cause of reamistering it out with myself the more I just tell myself "I would absolutely love my gf to fuck a black guy right in front of me cause I have guilt issues to how I viewed them for a large portion of my life" the more I take that line of thought and jerk off to youcuck vids AWARE and not disgusted of what im doing I am removing the mystery of it. I find myself caring less of it having splurged this week while she is away, doing nothing but wankin' it 3+ times a day to interracial cucking. Will I "cure" myself? No. Thats the line of thought that keeps it where it is. You view it as some sort of disease or sickness when in reality its just human curiosity and a desire to see people happy ( Oh no! ) and experience something outside the social norms you find yourself stuck in.

Relax, explore yourself internally and ask the question why and don't deny yourself the answer. Embrace the answer and see that its not so taboo after all. I mean we are on a damn website right now that has near one hundred thousand users who all want to be cucked. You make it a taboo cause your friends did, or your parents did, or the media did. Don't let these things influence you and realize cultural taboos are purely man-made. Hell we still have Puritan throwbacks to sexuality in the USA to the point of seeing a breast exposed for 2 seconds on T.V. during the superbowl made the country erupt into a frenzy. These things are ancient and stupid in a time when we should all be going through a second enlightenment era due to the flow of global communication. The things that hold us are back are just bullcuckolds brownie we made up and stick to cause its just something we grew up accepting.

This thread could be classified in the basic cuckold sections or himiliation section or any other secrion, I don't go for the black cuckolds brownie. Just so happens my page lists the most recent topics and therefore I'm in here, so you're wrong in your analysis on that point. Look at my posting history and see how often I go to the interracial. However anytime I'm looking for some jackoff material and cuckold specifically, V out od 10 times all I can find is negros fuckin white women. The commercial porn industry has done a great in justice to filmins what cuckold is all about. The entir Cum Eating Cuckolds and Cuckold Sessions is all 99% black unfortunetely. Roman Video is good, Mistress T is okay although I find her unattractive, and some of ther other whites only porn isn't that great. So do I jack off to the black stuff, sure I do. But would I ever let some strange nig fuck my eoman. NO!
Ronald Curry

Sorry for the terrible grammer but I'm on the road today having to do this on my phone.

I had to think back and actually the first time I was exposed to this was from Leg Show magazine in 2004, so it was earlier than I thought. I remember getting off on reading about slutty wives. then I picked up a porn titles Barefoot Confidential 28. Scene 2 had a sexy cheating wife who was fuckin around with a coworker. The husband nearly walks in on her but the lover hides. The husband starts fucking her and compliments her on how wet she was. I jerked off to that a million and a half times. Scene 3 of that porn also had cuck theme where the husband walks in and says "Was that my brother that just left." The wife does not deny it and says how much fun she had and it goes back and forth between real time of the husband only being allowed to worship the feet of his wife while she tells him of her exploits. While she is explaining what happened they would show her being fucked.

At that same time I had a gf who cheated on me, although at that time I wad naive to believe it. She told me once and I did not take it well but I was so in love with her and especially her beauty that I forgave her. Well it wasn't lon before I had to do humiliating things like pick her up really late from a party where she was being fucked to waking up in the middle of the night with her stumbling in takes and horny rubbing a very wet and creamy snatch on my face. At that time I remember we were having sex and something along the lines of "im taking my pussy away from you" was said. I replied with "so you're gonna let other guys fuck you." She went wild that session and from that point is when it began. It wasn't extreme and we started to become on and off. God knows what she was doing during the times we were off. I remember having mutual friends comment on her being with this guy or that guy. There was even an instance at a club where she must have messed with a taken man because there were some girls wanting to kick her ass and calling her a slut..
Ronald Curry

Anyway she came over on new years day by surprise saying she wanted to get back together for good. Things were goin well. Sex was amazing. One of the things that turned me on was when she went out and came home we would make out and she would slowly take her panties off and put the crotch to my nose or make me lick it. Sometimes these were really really wet and sticky, but at the time I didn't think anything of it and she would never advertise her infidelity. We also started doing things we hadn't done before. She started getting into ass play and finally allowed me to lick her ass which was forbidden before and then finally let me fuck her in the ass although she couldn't really handle it and said it was painful. Before long I went away for a month on vacation and when I returned she had met someone and it started getting serious. Then like the lunatic that she was she said she wasnted to get back together but this time I had met someone and didn't want to go back to her. Now to this day I feel cursed as I can't stop thinking about her and specific sexual things. Its been 7 years but I still can't stop thinking about her. I wish I could stop but I can't.
Ronald Curry

Anyway I had a point to all of this. Does anyone here had a similar path in terms of progession into cuckolding. For me it stems from mild femdom and foot play. Then it went to worshipping the woman and doing anything to please her. Then it was an interest in sloppy seconds sex. Then it was to eating creampie. Then it became more involved like watching and participating with degrading acts like licking her ass while she was being fucked. Then it became more intimate of kissing her after she gave a blowjob or rimmed a guys ass. And now even though I find it gross I'm turned on by images of a husband and wife servicing the bull together. Just last week I came so hard to a story on this site. It was the Merry Xmas Darling story where the bull insists on a blowjob from the wife while hubby has his mouth full of the bulls balls. I mean that's nasty but I'm finding myself being more turned on by this stuff. Even the thought of licking the bulls ass while he fucks my wife or gets a blowjob turns me on.
Ronald Curry

Great posts by all participants. Obviously the reamister most cuckold pics and vids are interracial is because of the added offense involved for the cuck. The black man taking our women etc.

As to the poster namen interracialilfestlye there might be a guilt (atonement) factor in the USA but this doesn't explain the popularity of black man / white women combinations in Europe which have been on the raise for some years now. Its the power, agressiveness, and some would say sexual attraction that drives white European women to black men. This along with the taboo factor (even in Europe) and the wish to stand out.

As white men we just have to accept this trend. As a married white men, you wouldn't believe how many married women over here openly talk about there attraction to black men. My wife fantasizes about black men in bed with her and has talked to me about this but so fortunately would not talk to anyone else about her lust.

mmmm
good topic. And a difficult discussion as well.
I don't feel any guilt , my girl and i have done things like threesome (hetero mmf) ..she has fucked a black permister without me ( and i fucked someone else as well) but 90% of the time she's vanilla.i'm 95% obsessed with cuck - ir porn and i recognise that it can be annoying.
She want's to have normal sex , i only think of her with the other guy or something like that.or ask her questions during sex and she get;s annoyed.
i guess it's a sort of an addiction/fetish thing which can be harmfull. Being tit obsessed is more easy ..get a girl with big tits and satisfied you are.Cuckolding and ä normal relation also combine poorly ,or at least is not really accepted.
I think you first have to accept that this is just your thing. And be glad it's not something more extreme such as ****** of youngren or that kind of awfull stuff.
Well cuckolding in all it's forms is a bit extreme , it's harmless and fun if all parties agree.
And don't feel ashamed. must people have secret fantasies or are just fucking boring
I guess eating a creampie might conflict with your self image of a cool guy . but come on ...being a man is more than your sexual preferences.
You can analyze yourself forever why you like it...what does it matter ? ít's there and it won't go away i think
But try not to get obsessed with it. if you can't have sex anymore because your always thinking about it then give it a rest for some time...shut the computer down for a week or so and cool down and just enjoy the body and attention of your girlfriend or wife.

just try to enjoy it and balance it...in the end ..most people are thinking about someone/something else while having sex so what does it matter

I was in several cuckold interracial relationships in the late 80's to mid 90's. I am fully understanding of these good posts. I also am 100% straight but enjoy the voyeur aspect of seeing my lady get something she wants that I can never begin to give her myself. I have never been into the more outlandish stuff like creampie eating or anything at all bi. The only thing I ever did was always have to put my penis beside the bull's cock because my lady wanted to see the extreme size differences. I did take orders from the bull not to fuck her unless he said I could and not to masturbate either. I went for weeks with no release. I could watch them but not touch myself and if I came - which I sometimes did there was punishment involving offense. Once I had to take her bull as my guest to the gym I go to all the time and shower next to him in front of a lot of guys I know for 10 minutes, I looked like an ***** next to him and everybody saw. One time I had to take us to a motel, I came without permission, I had to order pizza and answer the door naked while they were fucking on the bed behind me. My favorite one was checking in at a motel with my lady and her bull and asking for a room for 3 with a double bed. The lady behind the counter looked at us very strangely to say the least and they made sure she knew damn well what was about to happen. In between sessions we ordered room service and when the guy rolled the cart into the room all three of us were naked. The delivery guy was a foreign black guy and he asked the bull if it was what it looked like and they high fived and the guy kind of laughed at my inadequacy. The only two things I ever wondered why was when I was allowed to fuck her it was always sloppy seconds and she made sure I knew she did not feel me. He always got to cum in her pussy while I had to pull out and cum in a tissue, another time was a real bad experience where we were haveged and robbed by a new bull who called several friends over to fuck her and I have no idea how many unloaded into her pussy. That made me leave the lifestyle. I laid their naked and doped up while they laughed at me and had her for I don't know how long. The trip to the doctor after was embarrassing as we had to explain what happened and her pussy was wrecked and so full of cum it was amazing. That was when I left.

great story guc. Really good stuff.
Ronald Curry

Now, I'm not saying that all whites enjoy being a submissive sex slave for Black Men but most happy sex slaves are white.

The primary sex hormones are testosterone and estrogen. Many Black Men have significantly above average testosterone levels and can easily excel in any physical act. On the other hand, not all white boys but as many as a third have significantly below average testosterone and often have elevated estrogen as well. Even the shape of the narrow face and wide pelvis for white boys is more like a girl. Older married white boys often have lower testosterone levels then young Black Ladies.

The sexual you is the real you - everything else is just what you think society expects of you.

The very fact that you and your wife want to conform to what you think is normal means you are submissive by nature.

Both of you should experiment with chastity. Confess to her you need her help to stop masturbating all the time when you fantasize about her being used by Black Men.

Right there with you in hell buddy. My marriage is ruined, havent had sex in years all because I would rather jerk off over black cocks ravaging white women than screw my wife. Yet I come back time and time again.

I have often wondered why I like interracial sex & the thought of my fiancee fucking a black man. In daily life I'm a dominant male, the alpha dog. I'm big & strong being a bodybuilder for 20 years with an average size cock & yet here I am wanting to give my woman up to a black man for sex & maybe even eating a creampie. I thought it must be a submissive thing, just in the bedroom as I'm not submissive anywhere else. But why the black thing, I would only consider letting her fuck a black man, no whites at all?

You don't choose your fetishes or seual pedadillos, they choose you. Why intellectualize the reamister why, even if you discovered the key, it wouldn't matter. Just enjoy the ride.

I know what you mean, but I have give up trying to fight this feeling and desire I have for black studs fucking my wife. I have not fucked my wife in several months, but our sex life is the best it has ever been. Let me explain, I would rather watch my wife get fucked long and hard by black studs that know how to please her like I never could, and then service them any way they like me to. This is a huge turn on for me and I am content doing this. There is nothing I would rather do than submit to my wife's desire and her black studs orders. I truly enjoy eating their cum out of her pussy, ass, and mouth, and sucking her black bulls dicks, balls and asshole whenever they let me or tell me to. I say stop fighting it and enjoy it, if you can convence her to. The only regret I have is not introducing my wife to this lifestyle sooner, she loves it as much as I do, and she has told me several times her pussy is for bbc only, which is fine with me.

Permisterally i think a lot of these replies are wide of the mark.
I think people find the idea that they're turned on by this disgusting and hence the problem.
This whole 'fetish' to me seems fuelled by fear.... fear of inadeqaucy, fear of racism, fear of black men/culture, fear of self hatred, fear of homosexuality, fear of losing control.

If you want to be free of this fetish i think its actually quite easy and i am talking as someone who has spent years turned on (and disgusted with myself) over this 'fantasy'

My road down to this fantasy was i think fuelled by my fear of rejection by women gorwing up and also a turning point when growing up with a black friend (who was very good looking) used to get most women's interest. This friend would also have zero respect for women repeatedly talking of degradng them and as sluts etc, he was also very negative about white culture (tbh as much as i thought he had a perfect life back then i realise he's probably got a whole load of esteem issues) Of course it all came to a head when he and i both went for the same girl. A girl i was properly falling in love with. Of course al the way through this 'battle' i felt i had no chance against him and as expected she made it clear that she wanted him. This really hurt me because i knew to him it was just another fuck, but to me she was my world.

So anyway i started to resent this friend and his desireability to women. I started to resent and hate the numerous women that were attracted to him. Anytime i heard a woman likeing black culture/ men it reminded me of him and i resented/hated it. Without even realising i was turning into a racist. purely through this one black man i had grown up with.

Of course when i saw on the internet the theme of this fetish it both shocked, scared and disgusted me. and yet i found this fear arousing. here's the main part those when i am/have in the past been turned on by this it is in a disgusted way... Im actually masturbating with hate in my heart. I'm telling myself that i love cheating wives, that i love black cock sluts that 'I' love black cock.. All stuff that in essence i used to hate. I am not 'actually' enjoying the masturbation but feeling compelled. The reality is i never loved black cock sluts or black cock. For a start black cock is a penis that belongs to a man just like me and i have no gay urges whatsoever. Once you open your eyes to reakity and stop seeing white wimps, black bulls and black cock sluts you'll realise that this is a ridicoulous fantasy and one you shouldn't be scared of.

Once you conquer that fear and actually start to truly love things then it loses any power.
You need to conquer you're fear. First off conquer your fear of the fact that SOME white women ARE attracted to Black Men. There is NOTHING wrong with this. This isnt some kind of twisted sexuality this is. Some black men are huge muscular and good looking and i as a white caucasian male think this is great, i shouldnt feel humiliated by this it has nothing to do with me.

As males we are supposed to idolise other men there is nothing wrong with it it's what makes us all brothers. Listen to most men and they will acknowledge how tough, great some other guy is. That doesnt make you gay it makes you a man. don't fear becoming aroused by other men really it's about letting yourself be who you are and not fearing it. If you're truly not gay then let yourself go and you'll realise you arent.

Also conquer your fear of your wife enjoying sex with someone else. If that's truly the case then go for it be swingers enjoy it. But most of the time if you're wife perfers someone else she would be with them. If your wife truly prefers black men likelihood is, if she was true to herself, she would be with one. Dont live in fear of it. Don't be disgusted by your own arousal and you'll start to feel more in control of yourself.


NB

Also lose the concept of white women or any women being ours. A white women i have never met is no more mine than a black women is a black mans. I have no more right to fuck a white women than a black man has. Only this attitude can end racism and create a more balanced and permisterally rewarding future.